Laughter is Contagious

[Mr Duncan 001]

The Quickie"



The only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their 8 year old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony with a Popsicle and tell him to report on all the neighborhood activities.

He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation: "There's a car being towed from the parking lot", he shouted.

A few moments passed ... "An ambulance just drove by"

A few moments later, "Looks like the Anderson's have company", he called out.

Matt's riding a new bike....."

A few moments later, "Looks like the Sanders are moving"

"Jason is on his skate board...."

A few more moments, "The Coopers are having sex !!"

Startled, his Mother and Dad shot up in bed ! Dad cautiously called out,

"How do you know they are having sex ?"

"Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a Popsicle too."

 

[techsan]

...
He picked up the mallet, gave the gong an ear shattering pound and stepped back. The three stood looking at one another for a moment.
Suddenly, someone from the other side of the wall screamed, "You jackass...it's three fifteen in the morning!"

Copper, I love it, I love it!!!

 

[techsan]

The Quickie"

...

"How do you know they are having sex ?"

"Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a Popsicle too."

LMAO ... Good one, Mr. D.

 

[techsan]

JACK'S TELEPHONE NUMBER...

Blonde Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"

Operator: "I'm sorry, I don't understand who you are talking about".

Blond Caller: "On page 1 section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning.

Now, can you give me the number for Jack?

 

[virgin_not]

A successful businessman flew to Vegas for a weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back and had nothing left but a quarter and the second half of his round-trip air ticket. If he could just get to the airport he could get himself home.

So he went out to the front of the casino where there was a cab waiting. He got in and explained his situation to the cabbie. He promised to send the driver money from home, offering his credit card numbers, his driver's license number and his address but to no avail.

The cabbie said, "if you don't have $15, get the hell out of my cab".

So the businessman was forced to hitchhike to the airport and was barely in time to catch his flight.

One year later the businessman, having worked long and hard to regain his financial success, returned to Vegas and this time he won big. Feeling pretty good about himself, he went out to the front of the casino to get a cab back to the airport.

Well, who should he see out there, at the end of a long line of cabs, but his old buddy who had refused to give him a ride when he was down on his luck.

The businessman thought for a moment about how he could make the guy pay for his lack of charity and he hit on a plan.

The businessman got in the first cab in the line. 'How much for a ride to the airport?' he asked.

'Fifteen bucks,' came the reply.

'And how much for you to give me a blow job on the way?'

'What? Get the hell out of my cab you as*hole!'

The businessman got into the back of each cab in the long line and asked the same questions, with the same result. When he got to his old friend at the back of the line, he got in and asked, 'How much for a ride to the airport?'

The cabbie replied, 'Fifteen bucks.'

The businessman said 'OK' and off they went.
Then, as they drove slowly past the long line of cabs, the businessman gave a big smile and thumbs-up sign to each driver.

 

[techsan]

Consider yourself a cartoonist? Try this (its actually a little more than a drawing exercise...)

Draw A Pig

 

[techsan]

From Copperbutterfly, some sons that make their dads proud (1) ...

 

[techsan]

From Copperbutterfly, some sons that make their dads proud (2) ...

 

[techsan]

From Copperbutterfly, some sons that make their dads proud (3) ...

 

[techsan]

From Copperbutterfly, some sons that make their dads proud (4) ...

 

[techsan]

From Copperbutterfly, some sons that make their dads proud (5) ...

The "coupe de grass" ... the curious inventor ... the risk taker ...

 

[supahspaz]

I was just told about this thread from Copper... What a great thread. I'll have to go dig up a few from my archives

 

[wally2450]

Dr. visit

A woman goes to her doctor, complaining that her husband is 300% impotent. The doctor says, "I'm not sure I understand what you mean." She says, "Well, the first 100% you can guess. In addition, he burned his tongue and broke his finger."

 

[techsan]

I was just told about this thread from Copper... What a great thread. I'll have to go dig up a few from my archives

We'll look forward to your contributions, Supah.

 

[techsan]

A woman goes to her doctor, complaining that her husband is 300% impotent. The doctor says, "I'm not sure I understand what you mean." She says, "Well, the first 100% you can guess. In addition, he burned his tongue and broke his finger."

LMAO...

 

[Cool Steel]

A young man starts work at the local adult toy store. The owner says he has to go and tells the young man, if you can't find a price on something make one up.

A white chick comes in and asks "how much for the white dildo?" he says "10 bucks" and she takes it.

A black chick comes in and asks " how much for the black dildo?" he says "20 bucks" and she takes it.

A biker chick comes in and asks "how much for the plaid dildo?" he says "30 bucks" and she takes it.

The boss comes back and asks what happened while he was out and the young man replies, "I sold a white dildo to a white chick for $10, a black dildo to a black chick for $20 and a biker chick bought my thermos for $30.

 

[techsan]

The boss of a Madison Avenue advertising agency called a spontaneous staff meeting in the middle of a particularly stressful week. (This is one pretty sharp boss!)

When everyone gathered, the boss, who understood the benefits of having fun, told the burnt out staff the purpose of the meeting was to have a quick contest. The theme: Viagra advertising slogans.

The only rule was that they had to use past ad slogans, originally written for other products, that captured the essence of Viagra. Slight variations were acceptable.

About seven minutes later, they turned in their suggestions and created a Top Ten List. With all the laughter and camaraderie, the rest of the week went very well for everyone

The top ten were:

10. Viagra, Whaazzzz up!

9. Viagra, The quicker pecker upper.

8. Viagra, Like a rock!

7. Viagra, When it absolutely, positively has to be there overnight.

6. Viagra, Be all that you can be.

5. Viagra, Reach out and touch someone.

4. Viagra, Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.

3. Viagra, home of the whopper!

2. Viagra, We bring good things to Life!

And the unanimous number one slogan:

1. This is your winkie. This is your winkie on drugs.

 

[pleaz_me]

A woman goes to her doctor, complaining that her husband is 300% impotent. The doctor says, "I'm not sure I understand what you mean." She says, "Well, the first 100% you can guess. In addition, he burned his tongue and broke his finger."

OMG!!!! *tears rolling down my face, laughing so hard!* That POOR woman!!!!!

 

[pleaz_me]

9. Viagra, The quicker pecker upper.

4. Viagra, Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.

LOLOLOL! ~I like these 2 the best!!!!!!~

 

[techsan]

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/Garfield.jpg

 

[pleaz_me]

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/Garfield.jpg

Yay! Garfield!!!

Hope you're doing well sweetie!

 

[techsan]

Yay! Garfield!!!

Hope you're doing well sweetie!

I'm doing great ... just sittin' her at my puter sleeping (dreamin' bout you!)

How about you?

 

[pleaz_me]

I'm doing great ... just sittin' her at my puter sleeping (dreamin' bout you!)

How about you?

Such the charmer

Am doing well.......it's Friday! That always means some quiet time

 

[techsan]

Ever see a toddler that just wouldn't stay in the playpen?

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/FunnyPart-com-baby_escape_protectio.jpg

 

[techsan]

Redneck fishing ...

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/FunnyPart-com-redneck_fishing.jpg