Lonely Knight
Cancer Survivor
- Joined
- Jan 19, 2005
- Posts
- 1,326
Laughter is Contagious
- Thread starter techsan
- Start date
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techsan
...just chugging along
- Joined
- Feb 10, 2005
- Posts
- 6,165
How To Shower Like a Woman:
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair.
Shave armpits and legs.
Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.
Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
How To Shower Like a Man:
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-hoo' sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass.
Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee.
Rinse off and get out of shower.
Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
Admire wiener size in mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-hoo' sound again.
Throw wet towel on bed.
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair.
Shave armpits and legs.
Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.
Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
How To Shower Like a Man:
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-hoo' sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass.
Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee.
Rinse off and get out of shower.
Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
Admire wiener size in mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-hoo' sound again.
Throw wet towel on bed.
Mr Duncan 001
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- May 10, 2005
- Posts
- 1,574
You have to watch the old people
Do You Like Peanuts?
A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of seniors down a highway when
he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady.
She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up.
After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him
another handful of peanuts.
She repeats this gesture about five more times.
When she is about to hand him another batch again he asks the little old
lady, " why don't you eat the peanuts?".
"We can't chew them because we've no teeth", she replied.
The puzzled driver asks, "Why do you buy them then?"
The old lady replied, "We just love the chocolate around them."
It pays to be careful around old people.
Do You Like Peanuts?
A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of seniors down a highway when
he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady.
She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up.
After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him
another handful of peanuts.
She repeats this gesture about five more times.
When she is about to hand him another batch again he asks the little old
lady, " why don't you eat the peanuts?".
"We can't chew them because we've no teeth", she replied.
The puzzled driver asks, "Why do you buy them then?"
The old lady replied, "We just love the chocolate around them."
It pays to be careful around old people.
Mr Duncan 001
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- May 10, 2005
- Posts
- 1,574
Lonely Knight
Cancer Survivor
- Joined
- Jan 19, 2005
- Posts
- 1,326
Btw, you can go to www.pornolize.com, select the language you want, enter any web page url and it will convert it... Some are extremely funny.
rozezwild
~*~untouchable~*~
- Joined
- May 11, 2004
- Posts
- 33,541
Best Toast Award
John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of
me life, between the legs of me wife!" That won him the top prize at the
pub for the best toast of the night!
He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best
toast of the night" She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your
toast?"
John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church
beside me wife." "Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street
corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the
other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."
She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You
know,he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell
asleep,and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him
come."
John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of
me life, between the legs of me wife!" That won him the top prize at the
pub for the best toast of the night!
He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best
toast of the night" She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your
toast?"
John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church
beside me wife." "Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street
corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the
other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."
She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You
know,he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell
asleep,and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him
come."
rozezwild
~*~untouchable~*~
- Joined
- May 11, 2004
- Posts
- 33,541
Best Blonde Joke of 2006 so far
Two Chimps and a Blonde
Best 2006 blonde joke so far..........
A blonde lady motorist was about two hours from San Diego
when she was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down.
The man walked up to the car and asked, "Are you going to San Diego?"
"Sure," answered the blonde, "do you need a lift?"
"Not for me. I'll be spending the next three hours fixing my truck.
My problem is I've got two chimpanzees in the back which have to be
taken to the San Diego Zoo. They're a bit stressed already so I don't want to
keep them on the road all day. Could you possibly take them to the zoo for
me? I' ll give you $100 for your trouble."
"I'd be happy to," said the blonde. So the two chimpanzees were
ushered into the back seat of the blonde's car and carefully strapped into
their seat belts. Off they went.
Five hours later, the truck driver was driving through the heart of
San Diego when suddenly he was horrified!! There was the blonde
walking down the street and holding hands with the two chimps, much to the
amusement of a big crowd. With a screech of brakes he pulled off the road and ran over to the blonde. What the heck are you doing here?" he demanded, "I gave you
$100 to take these chimpanzees to the zoo."
"Yes, I know you did," said the blonde," but we had money left
over---so now we're going to Sea World ."
Two Chimps and a Blonde
Best 2006 blonde joke so far..........
A blonde lady motorist was about two hours from San Diego
when she was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down.
The man walked up to the car and asked, "Are you going to San Diego?"
"Sure," answered the blonde, "do you need a lift?"
"Not for me. I'll be spending the next three hours fixing my truck.
My problem is I've got two chimpanzees in the back which have to be
taken to the San Diego Zoo. They're a bit stressed already so I don't want to
keep them on the road all day. Could you possibly take them to the zoo for
me? I' ll give you $100 for your trouble."
"I'd be happy to," said the blonde. So the two chimpanzees were
ushered into the back seat of the blonde's car and carefully strapped into
their seat belts. Off they went.
Five hours later, the truck driver was driving through the heart of
San Diego when suddenly he was horrified!! There was the blonde
walking down the street and holding hands with the two chimps, much to the
amusement of a big crowd. With a screech of brakes he pulled off the road and ran over to the blonde. What the heck are you doing here?" he demanded, "I gave you
$100 to take these chimpanzees to the zoo."
"Yes, I know you did," said the blonde," but we had money left
over---so now we're going to Sea World ."
rozezwild
~*~untouchable~*~
- Joined
- May 11, 2004
- Posts
- 33,541
Blonde Cook book
Subject: Fw: A Blondes Cookbook
> Monday:?? It's fun to cook for Ron. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said to beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbors were nice enough to lend me some extra bowls.
Tuesday:?? Ron wanted fruit salad. The recipe said to serve without dressing, so I didn't dress. What a surprise when Ron brought a friend home for supper.
Wednesday:??A good day for rice. The recipe said to wash thoroughly before steaming the rice. It seemed kind of silly, but I took a bath anyway. I can't say it helped the rice any.
Thursday:??Today Ron asked for a salad again. I tried a new recipe that said to prepare the ingredients and lay on a bed of lettuce an hour before serving. Ron asked me why I was rolling around in the garden.
Friday:?? I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said put the ingredients in a bowl and beat it. There must have been something wrong with this recipe. When I got back, everything was the same as when I left it.
Saturday:??Ron did the shopping today and brought home a chicken and asked me to dress it for Sunday. Oh boy! For some reason Ron keeps shaking his head
Sunday:?? Ron's folks came to dinner, I wanted to serve roast but all I had was hamburger. Suddenly I had a flash of genius... I put the hamburger in the oven and set the controls for roast. It still came out hamburger, much to my disappointment.
Goodnight Dear Diary:?? This has been a very exciting week. I am eager for tomorrow to come so I can try out a new recipe for Ron. If I can talk Ron into buying me a larger oven, I am going to surprise him with a chocolate moose.
Subject: Fw: A Blondes Cookbook
> Monday:?? It's fun to cook for Ron. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said to beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbors were nice enough to lend me some extra bowls.
Tuesday:?? Ron wanted fruit salad. The recipe said to serve without dressing, so I didn't dress. What a surprise when Ron brought a friend home for supper.
Wednesday:??A good day for rice. The recipe said to wash thoroughly before steaming the rice. It seemed kind of silly, but I took a bath anyway. I can't say it helped the rice any.
Thursday:??Today Ron asked for a salad again. I tried a new recipe that said to prepare the ingredients and lay on a bed of lettuce an hour before serving. Ron asked me why I was rolling around in the garden.
Friday:?? I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said put the ingredients in a bowl and beat it. There must have been something wrong with this recipe. When I got back, everything was the same as when I left it.
Saturday:??Ron did the shopping today and brought home a chicken and asked me to dress it for Sunday. Oh boy! For some reason Ron keeps shaking his head
Sunday:?? Ron's folks came to dinner, I wanted to serve roast but all I had was hamburger. Suddenly I had a flash of genius... I put the hamburger in the oven and set the controls for roast. It still came out hamburger, much to my disappointment.
Goodnight Dear Diary:?? This has been a very exciting week. I am eager for tomorrow to come so I can try out a new recipe for Ron. If I can talk Ron into buying me a larger oven, I am going to surprise him with a chocolate moose.
rozezwild
~*~untouchable~*~
- Joined
- May 11, 2004
- Posts
- 33,541
The new and improved Genie
A woman rubbed a bottle and out popped a genie. The amazed
woman asked if she got three wishes.
The genie said, "Nope, sorry, three-wish genies are a storybook myth.
I'm a one-wish genie. So...what'll it be?"
The woman did not hesitate. She said, "I want peace in the
Middle East. See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting
with each other and I want all the Arabs to love the Jews and Americans and vice-versa. It will bring about world peace and harmony."
The genie looked at the map and exclaimed, "Lady, be reasonable.
These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I'm out of
shape after being in a bottle for five hundred years... I'm good but
not THAT good! I don't think it can be done. Make another wish and please be reasonable! "
The woman thought for a minute and said, "Well, I've never been able
to find the right man. You know - one that's considerate and fun,
likes to cook and help with the house cleaning, is great in bed, and
gets along with my family, doesn't watch sports all the time, and is
faithful. That is what I wish for...a good man."
The genie let out a sigh and said, "Let me see that fucking map again
A woman rubbed a bottle and out popped a genie. The amazed
woman asked if she got three wishes.
The genie said, "Nope, sorry, three-wish genies are a storybook myth.
I'm a one-wish genie. So...what'll it be?"
The woman did not hesitate. She said, "I want peace in the
Middle East. See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting
with each other and I want all the Arabs to love the Jews and Americans and vice-versa. It will bring about world peace and harmony."
The genie looked at the map and exclaimed, "Lady, be reasonable.
These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I'm out of
shape after being in a bottle for five hundred years... I'm good but
not THAT good! I don't think it can be done. Make another wish and please be reasonable! "
The woman thought for a minute and said, "Well, I've never been able
to find the right man. You know - one that's considerate and fun,
likes to cook and help with the house cleaning, is great in bed, and
gets along with my family, doesn't watch sports all the time, and is
faithful. That is what I wish for...a good man."
The genie let out a sigh and said, "Let me see that fucking map again
rozezwild
~*~untouchable~*~
- Joined
- May 11, 2004
- Posts
- 33,541
New Nair hair removal warnings
Nair hair remover
My neighbor found out her dog could hardly hear, so she took it to the vet.
He found that the problem was hair in its ears so he cleaned both ears and
the dog could hear fine. The vet then proceeded to tell the lady that if she
wanted to keep this from reoccurring, she should go to the store and get
some "Nair" hair remover and rub it in the dog's ears once a month.
The lady goes to the drug store and gets some "Nair" hair remover.
At the register, the pharmacist tells her, "If you're going to use this
under your arms, don't use deodorant for a few days."
The lady says, "I'm not using it under my arms."
The ph armacist says, "If you're using it on your legs, don't shave for a
couple of days."
The lady says, "I'm not using it on my legs, either. If you must know I'm
using it on my schnauzer."
The pharmacist says: "Stay off your bicycle for a week."
Nair hair remover
My neighbor found out her dog could hardly hear, so she took it to the vet.
He found that the problem was hair in its ears so he cleaned both ears and
the dog could hear fine. The vet then proceeded to tell the lady that if she
wanted to keep this from reoccurring, she should go to the store and get
some "Nair" hair remover and rub it in the dog's ears once a month.
The lady goes to the drug store and gets some "Nair" hair remover.
At the register, the pharmacist tells her, "If you're going to use this
under your arms, don't use deodorant for a few days."
The lady says, "I'm not using it under my arms."
The ph armacist says, "If you're using it on your legs, don't shave for a
couple of days."
The lady says, "I'm not using it on my legs, either. If you must know I'm
using it on my schnauzer."
The pharmacist says: "Stay off your bicycle for a week."
rozezwild
~*~untouchable~*~
- Joined
- May 11, 2004
- Posts
- 33,541
The Haircut away from home
A salesman checked into a futuristic motel. Realizing he
needed a haircut before the next day's meeting, he called
down to the desk clerk to ask if there was a barber on the
premises.
"I'm afraid not, sir," the clerk told him apologetically,
"but down the hall from your room is a vending machine
that should serve your purposes."
Skeptical but intrigued, the salesman located the machine,
inserted $15.00, and stuck his head into the opening, at which
time the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds
later the salesman pulled out his head and surveyed his
reflection, which reflected the best haircut of his life.
Two feet away was another machine with a sign that read,
'Manicures, $20.00.' "Why not?" thought the salesman.
He paid the money, inserted his hands into the slot, and
the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds
later he pulled out his hands and they were perfectly
manicured.
The next machine had a sign that read, 'This Machine
Provides a Service Men Need When Away from Their Wives,
50 Cents.' The salesman looked both ways, put fifty cents
in the machine, unzipped his fly, and with some anticipation,
stuck his manhood into the opening. When the machine
started buzzing, the guy let out a shriek of agony and
almost passed out. Fifteen seconds later it shut off.
With trembling hands, the salesman was able to withdraw
his member... which now had a button sewed on the end.
A salesman checked into a futuristic motel. Realizing he
needed a haircut before the next day's meeting, he called
down to the desk clerk to ask if there was a barber on the
premises.
"I'm afraid not, sir," the clerk told him apologetically,
"but down the hall from your room is a vending machine
that should serve your purposes."
Skeptical but intrigued, the salesman located the machine,
inserted $15.00, and stuck his head into the opening, at which
time the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds
later the salesman pulled out his head and surveyed his
reflection, which reflected the best haircut of his life.
Two feet away was another machine with a sign that read,
'Manicures, $20.00.' "Why not?" thought the salesman.
He paid the money, inserted his hands into the slot, and
the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds
later he pulled out his hands and they were perfectly
manicured.
The next machine had a sign that read, 'This Machine
Provides a Service Men Need When Away from Their Wives,
50 Cents.' The salesman looked both ways, put fifty cents
in the machine, unzipped his fly, and with some anticipation,
stuck his manhood into the opening. When the machine
started buzzing, the guy let out a shriek of agony and
almost passed out. Fifteen seconds later it shut off.
With trembling hands, the salesman was able to withdraw
his member... which now had a button sewed on the end.
techsan
...just chugging along
- Joined
- Feb 10, 2005
- Posts
- 6,165
A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he'd lost his cigarettes.
In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump.
''No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes,'' he said to himself. He proceeded to get out his hammer and flattened the hump.
As he was cleaning up, the lady came in. ''Here,'' she said, handling him his pack of cigarettes. ''I found them in the hallway.''
''Now,'' she said, ''if only I could find my parakeet.''
In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump.
''No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes,'' he said to himself. He proceeded to get out his hammer and flattened the hump.
As he was cleaning up, the lady came in. ''Here,'' she said, handling him his pack of cigarettes. ''I found them in the hallway.''
''Now,'' she said, ''if only I could find my parakeet.''
techsan
...just chugging along
- Joined
- Feb 10, 2005
- Posts
- 6,165
The other night I was invited for a night out with "the girls". I told my husband that I would be home by midnight "I promise!"
Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times.
Quickly, realizing that my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times.
I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution (even when totally smashed) in order to avoid a possible conflict with him.
The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I told him "midnight". He didn't seem pissed off at all. Whew! Got away with that one!
Then he said, "We need a new cuckoo clock". When I asked him why he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed 3 times, then said 'Oh. Shit, then cuckooed 4 more times, cleared it's throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted."
Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times.
Quickly, realizing that my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times.
I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution (even when totally smashed) in order to avoid a possible conflict with him.
The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I told him "midnight". He didn't seem pissed off at all. Whew! Got away with that one!
Then he said, "We need a new cuckoo clock". When I asked him why he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed 3 times, then said 'Oh. Shit, then cuckooed 4 more times, cleared it's throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted."
techsan
...just chugging along
- Joined
- Feb 10, 2005
- Posts
- 6,165
A guy goes to a supermarket and notices a beautiful blonde wave at him and say's hello.
He's rather taken a back, because he can't place where he knows her from, so he says "do you know me?" to which she replies "I think you're the father of one of my kids."
Now he thinks back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, "my God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that i screwed on the pool table with all my buddies watching, while your partner whipped my ass with wet celery and then stuck a carrot up my butt?"
She said "No, I'm your son's math teacher."
He's rather taken a back, because he can't place where he knows her from, so he says "do you know me?" to which she replies "I think you're the father of one of my kids."
Now he thinks back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, "my God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that i screwed on the pool table with all my buddies watching, while your partner whipped my ass with wet celery and then stuck a carrot up my butt?"
She said "No, I'm your son's math teacher."
techsan
...just chugging along
- Joined
- Feb 10, 2005
- Posts
- 6,165
A young couple with a box of condoms proceeded to burn some rubber. When they were finished, she discovered that there were only six condoms remaining in the box of 12, so she asked him, "What happened to the other five condoms?"
His nervous reply was, "Er, I masturbated with them."
Later, she then approached her male confidant friend, told him the story, and then asked him, "Have you ever done that?"
"Yeah, once or twice," he told her.
"You mean you've actually masturbated with a condom before?" she asked.
"Oh," he said, "I thought you were asking if I'd ever lied to my girlfriend."
His nervous reply was, "Er, I masturbated with them."
Later, she then approached her male confidant friend, told him the story, and then asked him, "Have you ever done that?"
"Yeah, once or twice," he told her.
"You mean you've actually masturbated with a condom before?" she asked.
"Oh," he said, "I thought you were asking if I'd ever lied to my girlfriend."
copperbutterfly
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 21, 2004
- Posts
- 8,770
Whew....I hurt...missing this thread and trying to catch up in one night.... HURTS!!!!!! Evening All!!!!! Thank you techsan....for some very funny stuff! 
Here's my little contribution for the night....
A drunk was proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of friends late one night, and led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong and a mallet. "What's that big brass gong?" one of the guests asked.
"It's not a gong. It's a talking clock," the drunk replied.
"A talking clock? Seriously?" asked his astonished friend.
"Yup," replied the drunk.
"How's it work?" the friend asked, squinting at it.
"Watch," the drunk replied.
He picked up the mallet, gave the gong an ear shattering pound and stepped back. The three stood looking at one another for a moment.
Suddenly, someone from the other side of the wall screamed, "You jackass...it's three fifteen in the morning!"
Here's my little contribution for the night....
A drunk was proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of friends late one night, and led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong and a mallet. "What's that big brass gong?" one of the guests asked.
"It's not a gong. It's a talking clock," the drunk replied.
"A talking clock? Seriously?" asked his astonished friend.
"Yup," replied the drunk.
"How's it work?" the friend asked, squinting at it.
"Watch," the drunk replied.
He picked up the mallet, gave the gong an ear shattering pound and stepped back. The three stood looking at one another for a moment.
Suddenly, someone from the other side of the wall screamed, "You jackass...it's three fifteen in the morning!"
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