Laughter is Contagious

[techsan]

This isn't a joke....a friend sent me this website and it is just so amazing that I have to share it....

Lego Church (the detail is tremendous!)

www.amyhughes.org/lego/church

Nope, not a joke but certainly worth posting and this is as good a place as any to see such a wondrous sight. Someone spent a lot of time and effort in planning and executing such a piece as this. Lots of great detail (though I wonder about the organist being turned away from the music director and not being able to follow direction...?)

I like the windows as well as the many pipes of the organ and the detail in the carpet. Still I had this irreverant thought ... if this church were to be expanded to full size, think about how hard it would be to walk along the aisles with all those big raised circles...LOL

 

[done_got_old]

Little Sammy's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station. There they saw pictures tacked to a big bulletin board. The label clearly read,
"The 10 Most Wanted."

One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person.

"Yes," said the policeman, "the detectives want him very badly."

So Little Sammy asked, while tugging on the man's belt,

"Um, mister, why didn't you keep them when you took their pictures?"

 

[techsan]

It's a picture, but I can't get it to load up...well that's not entirely true....I can't get into the message window using the icon. If I go down to manage attachments, I can get it to load there, but it doesn't show up on the message when I post.

Not sure what the problem could be. They appear to be within the confines of Lit's guidelines...let's see if they post here... Is this what you had in mind?

 

[techsan]

Little Sammy's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station. There they saw pictures tacked to a big bulletin board. The label clearly read,
"The 10 Most Wanted."

One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person.

"Yes," said the policeman, "the detectives want him very badly."

So Little Sammy asked, while tugging on the man's belt,

"Um, mister, why didn't you keep them when you took their pictures?"

LMFAO! Now, DGO, tell me ... is that guy in your sig line one of "your" 10 most wanted????

 

[done_got_old]

LMFAO! Now, DGO, tell me ... is that guy in your sig line one of "your" 10 most wanted????

LOL No, he's just trying to get rid of his problem......

 

[done_got_old]

A traveling evangelist always put on a grand finale at his revival meetings, When he was to preach at a church, he would secretly hire a small boy to sit in the ceiling rafters with a dove in a cage. Toward the end of his sermon, the preacher would shout for the Holy Spirit to come down, and the boy in the rafters would dutifully release the dove.

At one revival meeting, however, nothing happened when the preacher called for the Holy Spirit to descend. He again raised his arms and exclaimed: "Come down, Holy Spirit!" Still no sign of the dove.

The preacher then heard the anxious voice of a small boy call down from the rafters: "Sir, a big black cat just ate the Holy Spirit. Shall I throw down the cat?"

 

[Sloppykitten]

Not sure what the problem could be. They appear to be within the confines of Lit's guidelines...let's see if they post here... Is this what you had in mind?

Guess I'm just not technically inclined

Thank you

 

[Sloppykitten]

LMFAO! Now, DGO, tell me ... is that guy in your sig line one of "your" 10 most wanted????

ummmm....he just became one of my 10 most wanted

 

[techsan]

A traveling evangelist always put on a grand finale at his revival meetings, When he was to preach at a church, he would secretly hire a small boy to sit in the ceiling rafters with a dove in a cage. Toward the end of his sermon, the preacher would shout for the Holy Spirit to come down, and the boy in the rafters would dutifully release the dove.

At one revival meeting, however, nothing happened when the preacher called for the Holy Spirit to descend. He again raised his arms and exclaimed: "Come down, Holy Spirit!" Still no sign of the dove.

The preacher then heard the anxious voice of a small boy call down from the rafters: "Sir, a big black cat just ate the Holy Spirit. Shall I throw down the cat?"

LMFAO

 

[techsan]

Guess I'm just not technically inclined

Thank you

Nope, I 'spect you just hit one of Lit's glitches. Been there, done that, didn't even get a t-shirt.

 

[pleaz_me]

Why women drink...

 

[Sloppykitten]

Why women drink...

*runs from one end of the bar to the other, drooling uncontrollably...who to choose, who to choose....screw it! I'll take 'em all!! *

 

[pleaz_me]

*runs from one end of the bar to the other, drooling uncontrollably...who to choose, who to choose....screw it! I'll take 'em all!! *

Honey.... I want the last one.......... the others we'll share *EG*

 

[Sloppykitten]

Honey.... I want the last one.......... the others we'll share *EG*

awwww....you mean I can't be totally greedy

 

[done_got_old]

I'll hang on to my guy.........no secrets there.

http://www.paradiseawaits.com/Cyber/joke2.gif

 

[Kowboy]

A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her faithful pet poodle along for company. One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies...

..."Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off half an hour ago to bring me another leopard!"

SOMETIMES B.S. AND BRILLIANCE ARE THE SAME.

Thank you for this laugh sk. I could not stop laughing out loud.

 

[wally2450]

A couple

A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary on the beach in Montego Bay, Jamaica. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town. "What a
peaceful & loving couple". The local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage.

"Well, it dates back to our honeymoon in America," explained the man.

"We visited the Grand Canyon in Arizona and took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon by horse. We hadn't gone too far when my wife's horse stumbled and she almost fell off. My wife looked down at the horse and quietly said, "That's once."

"We proceeded a little further and the horse stumbled again, this time causing her to drop her water. Once more my wife quietly said, "That's twice."

We hadn't gone a half-mile when the horse stumbled for a third time.

My wife quietly removed a revolver from her purse and shot the horse dead.

I shouted at her, "What 's wrong with you, Woman! Why did you shoot the poor animal like that? Are you crazy??"

She looked at me, and quietly said, "That's once."

"And from that moment... we have lived happily ever after."

 

[wally2450]

Two aliens

Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert
near a gas station that was closed for the
night. They approached one of the gas
pumps and the younger alien addressed
it saying, "Greetings, Earthling. We come
in peace. Take us to your leader."

The gas pump, of course, didn't respond.
The younger alien became angry at the lack
of response and the older alien said, "I'd
calm down if I were you,"

The younger alien ignored the warning and
repeated his greeting. Again, there was no
response. Annoyed by what he perceived
to be the pump's haughty attitude, he drew
his ray gun and said impatiently, "Greetings,
Earthling. We come in peace. Do not ignore
us this way! Take us to your leader or I will fire!"

The older alien warned his comrade saying,
"You don't want to do that! I don't think you
should make him mad."

"Rubbish," replied the cocky, young alien.
He aimed his weapon at the pump and
opened fire.

There was a huge explosion. A massive fireball
roared towards them and blew the younger alien
off his feet and deposited him a burnt, crumpling
mess about 200 yards away in a cactus patch.
About a half hour passed. When he finally
regained consciousness, he refocused his
three eyes and straightened his bent antenna
and looked dazedly at the older, wiser alien
who was standing over him shaking his big
green head.

"What a ferocious creature!" exclaimed the
young, fried alien. He damn near killed me!

How did you know he was so dangerous?"

The older alien leaned over, placed a friendly
feeler on his crispy friend and replied, "If there's
one thing I've learned during my intergalactic
travels, when a guy has a dick that he can wrap
around himself and then stick in his ear,
you REALLY don't want to mess with him!!!"

 

[pleaz_me]

A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary on the beach in Montego Bay, Jamaica. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town. "What a
peaceful & loving couple". The local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage.

"Well, it dates back to our honeymoon in America," explained the man.

"We visited the Grand Canyon in Arizona and took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon by horse. We hadn't gone too far when my wife's horse stumbled and she almost fell off. My wife looked down at the horse and quietly said, "That's once."

"We proceeded a little further and the horse stumbled again, this time causing her to drop her water. Once more my wife quietly said, "That's twice."

We hadn't gone a half-mile when the horse stumbled for a third time.

My wife quietly removed a revolver from her purse and shot the horse dead.

I shouted at her, "What 's wrong with you, Woman! Why did you shoot the poor animal like that? Are you crazy??"

She looked at me, and quietly said, "That's once."

"And from that moment... we have lived happily ever after."

*Runs off to register to carry firearms*

 

[techsan]

From limiwa ...

You've got to love our Vets....

Bill Moyer, 73, wears a protective flap over his ear while Senator Ted Kennedy addresses the Veterans of Foreign Wars. Pray without ceasing...


http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/A-E/BSProt.jpg

 

[limiwa]

A Happy Woman

A woman, in her fifties, is at home happily jumping unclothed, on bed and
squealing with delight.

Her husband watches her for a while and asks, "Do you have any idea how
ridiculous you look? What's the matter with you?" The woman continues to
bounce on the bed and says, "I don't care, what you think. I just came from
having a mammogram and the doctor says that not only am I healthy, but I
have the breasts of an 18 year-old.

The husband replies, "What did he say about your 55-year old ass?

"Your name never came up, "she replied.

 

[limiwa]

A Fairy Story

A married couple in their early 60s was out celebrating their
35th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant.

Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table and said, "For
being such an exemplary married couple and for being faithful to each other
for all this time, I will grant you each a wish."

"Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband" said the
wife. The fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - two tickets for the Queen
Mary II luxury liner appeared in her hands.

Then it was the husband's turn. He thought for a moment and said:

"Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never
come again. "I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years
younger than me. "

The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish...
So the fairy waved her magic wand and ....

..... poof! - the husband became 92 years old.

The moral of the story: Men who are ungrateful bastards should remember
fairies are female.

 

[limiwa]

Big Game Hunter

The big game hunter walked in the bar and bragged to everyone about his hunting skills. The man was undoubtedly a good shot and no one could dispute that. But then he said that they could blindfold him and he would recognize any
animal's skin from its feel, and if he could locate the bullet hole he would even tell them what caliber the bullet was that killed the animal.

The hunter said that he was willing to prove it if they would put up the drinks, and so the bet was on.

They blindfolded him carefully and took him to his first animal skin. After
feeling it for a few moments, he announced "Bear." Then he felt the bullet hole and declared, "Shot with a . 308 rifle." He was right.

They brought him another skin, one that someone had in their car trunk. He took a bit longer this time and then said, "Elk, Shot with a 7 mm MGA Rifle. He was right again.

Through the night, he proved his skills again and again, every time against a round of drinks. Finally he staggered home, drunk out of his mind, and went to sleep.

The next morning he got up and saw in the mirror that he had one hell of a shiner. He said to his wife, "I know I was drunk last night, but not drunk enough to get in a fight and not remember it. Where did I get this black eye?

His wife angrily replied, "I gave it to you. You got into bed and put your hand down my panties. Then you fiddled around a bit and loudly announced, Skunk, killed with an ax."

 

[techsan]

From limiwa ...

Canned Milk Slogan

A little old lady from Newfoundland had worked in and around her family dairy farms since she was old enough to walk, with hours of hard work and little compensation. When canned Carnation Milk became available in grocery stores in approximately the 1940's, she read an advertisement offering $5,000 for the best slogan. The producers wanted a rhyme beginning with "Carnation Milk is best of all...."

She thought to herself, I know all about milk and dairy farms... I can do this! She sent in her entry, and about a week later, a black limo drove up in front of her house.. a man got out and said, "Carnation LOVED your entry so much, we are here to award you $1000, even though we will not be able to use it..."


http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/A-E/Cmilk01.jpg

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/A-E/Cmilk02.gif

 

[done_got_old]

http://www.aprilgem.com/log/images/20040320-battleoftits.gif

http://www.lifecruiser.com/bilder/mrs_lifecruisers_tits.gif

http://www.redhatsoirees.com/Boobs.gif