Lancecastor's "Romancing The Troll" Tips

[Lancecastor]

Trolls can be a great roll in the hay!

First and foremost, you must remember that according to The 48 Laws of Power, there's a very good chance the Troll is someone you know who simply wants to say something she is afraid to tell you. 80% of the time, it's Muff.

What does she mean? Probably something romantic in reverse psychology terms:

You are an asshole. = I have a crush on you.
You are shit slime. = I want a facial.
Why don't you go away?= I need your seed in me. Now.


So, remember to welcome the Troll. Offer her a drink. Dim the lights and put on some soft music...like Massive Attack's "Mezzanine" to set the mood.

Encourage the Troll to stay a while...to forget about her fear of ellipses in the anus and get comfortable...because a hit and run Troll is a passing fancy, whereas a Troll that stays can be trained to serve.

Use lots of lube. Agree with her. Tell her you wish there were more like her at Lit. Butter her up. Trolls luvvvvv flattery.

Once she's a little tipsy, get the Troll a robe. Tell her you think she should stay the night...and that you'll sleep on the couch.

Within 20 minutes, she'll be allll yours.

Try it!

A Pubic Service Announcement from:
Lance "Troll Control" Castor

 

[Marxist]

Lance has to be one of the gayest names ever. It edges out Bruce and Tito only by a smidge.

 

[KillerMuffin]

Lanciepoo, I know you adore me and all that, but you are, unfortunately, running on the fallacy that I'm a troll.

I do troll as myself. I'm not such a hypocrite that I can't recognize that I can be a real troll. I do not troll as unregistered.

I realize that you're not interested in taking my word for it since our little tiff has given you a convenient devil to blame. Particularly since you are guilty of trolling as unregistered yourself.

However, believe what you will. People will either believe you or they will believe me or they won't give a rat's ass either way. I am myself and I am true to myself. That's all that matters.

 

[Pagliacci]

Someone needs to talk to a therapist about projection.

 

[Marxist]

Lanciepoo, I know you adore me and all that, but you are, unfortunately, running on the fallacy that I'm a troll.

I do troll as myself. I'm not such a hypocrite that I can't recognize that I can be a real troll. I do not troll as unregistered.

I realize that you're not interested in taking my word for it since our little tiff has given you a convenient devil to blame. Particularly since you are guilty of trolling as unregistered yourself.

However, believe what you will. People will either believe you or they will believe me or they won't give a rat's ass either way. I am myself and I am true to myself. That's all that matters.

Shut up and get back in the kitchen. When I want you to speak, I'll throw my plate at you.

 

[Private Vasquez]

Lance has to be one of the gayest names ever. It edges out Bruce and Tito only by a smidge.

Hey! I work with a guy named Lance.

He's gay.

 

[Marxist]

Hey! I work with a guy named Lance.

He's gay.

SEE

 

[KillerMuffin]

Shut up and get back in the kitchen. When I want you to speak, I'll throw my plate at you.

Just cause I'm your wet dream today doesn't mean you can throw shit at me without having it thrown right back.

 

[Lancecastor]

Lanciepoo,... I'm... a troll.

I do troll.

I can be a real troll. I do....troll as unregistered.

That's all that matters.

 

[Problem Child]

Hey! I work with a guy named Lance.

He's gay.

Hey, don't worry, it's not so bleak. If you just get a potato peeler and shave off that mold above your pussy, I'm sure lots of people would find you edible again.

 

[Private Vasquez]

Are you saying it's time for a new paint job?

 

[KillerMuffin]

I love you too, poopsie. I'm sure that if you've ever seen anything remotely resembling the truth you killed it before it flashed a mirror.

 

[Harbinger]

Let's see... believe the person with the long history of holding herself to the highest ethical standard, or the proven liar....

 

[Marxist]

Just cause I'm your wet dream today doesn't mean you can throw shit at me without having it thrown right back.

Intriguing what the Studmuffin wiil put up with...

 

[KillerMuffin]

Did someone piss in your cornflakes?

 

[MissTaken]

KM,

You are making me feel all warm and cozy inside.

Ohhh I loves ya when you are doling out scathing sweetness.

 

[Problem Child]

Are you saying it's time for a new paint job?

I'm saying it looks like you've got a penicillin swamp growing above your snatch. How you remedy it is your beeswax.

 

[Marxist]

Did someone piss in your cornflakes?

No I'm just randomly slapping someone after a very hard day. It's like the lottery. You won.

 

[Problem Child]

Intriguing what the Studmuffin wiil put up with...

I really wish you hadn't done that.

 

[Marxist]

I really wish you hadn't done that.

It's not that bad, at least you don't live in Kansas.

 

[freakygirl]

I really wish you hadn't done that.

me too *insert sick smilie here*

 

[KillerMuffin]

No I'm just randomly slapping someone after a very hard day. It's like the lottery. You won.

I can deal with that.

If you're pissy at me for a personal reason, though, please let me know. I do so hate to be kept in the dark about these things.

 

[Private Vasquez]

I'm saying it looks like you've got a penicillin swamp growing above your snatch. How you remedy it is your beeswax.

Do you believe in Magic?

 

[Lancecastor]

You know, MissT, KM doles out so much of her "sweetness" here on Lit that in this thread, for example, it's hard to know which man she's cursing out at any given time.

I sincerely believe that her toxicity is contagious and she really does need a high lanceonic.


Lance "Dr. of Love" Castor
just doing what is right.

KM,

You are making me feel all warm and cozy inside.

Ohhh I loves ya when you are doling out scathing sweetness.

 

[Problem Child]

This feels like 3rd grade pencil fights and the whole class has got their best #2's out and are going for blood.