Kinky Dating

[cookiecat]

One of these days I figure I'll get back out there and start dating. I met Mr. cookie on a kinky site. I'd like to date someone who has those inclinations. But you know, is also super funny, has good teeth, likes to cook, trims his ear hair, listens to REM...

If you had to write your profile for a kinky dating site - what would you write? If you've ever dated online, what kind of profile catches your fancy?

 

[twister947]

Subscribed

 

[AlwaysFara]

Short and curvy old bat, bordering on Feminazi.
Submissive as fuck, if you earn it. Will crawl. Will suck deep and hard and earnestly.
Loves to cook and feed you.
Hazel eyes and freckles.
Non nerds need not apply.

 

[PapaRomantic]

One of these days I figure I'll get back out there and start dating. I met Mr. cookie on a kinky site. I'd like to date someone who has those inclinations. But you know, is also super funny, has good teeth, likes to cook, trims his ear hair, listens to REM...

If you had to write your profile for a kinky dating site - what would you write? If you've ever dated online, what kind of profile catches your fancy?

I'll answer this shortly, but right now I'm trimming my ear hair while I brush my teeth, keeping an eye out on the grill so that the steaks are perfectly cooked, while singing a karaoke version of "Everybody Hurts." The flogger is on the table already for when dinner is finished.

(Hopefully this makes you smile - it's the best I can do!)

 

[JJonah]

If you wouldn't mind hanging out with a dry, tall, gangly ginger with glasses and pretty nice calves? And who likes Frank Herbert's Dune? And who has a generally dim view of humankind, but who actually feels pretty good about most individual humans? And who cuddles most effectively only after leaving you raw and empty, sometimes even bruised?

If so, I'm desperately seeking someone literate and witty (witerate?), who can type fast and think faster.

 

[bluekitty69]

One of these days I figure I'll get back out there and start dating. I met Mr. cookie on a kinky site. I'd like to date someone who has those inclinations. But you know, is also super funny, has good teeth, likes to cook, trims his ear hair, listens to REM...

If you had to write your profile for a kinky dating site - what would you write? If you've ever dated online, what kind of profile catches your fancy?

Well if he is retired has a good pension can drive at night and likes to be tied up and spanked...the rest I can work on...

 

[AlwaysFara]

If you wouldn't mind hanging out with a dry, tall, gangly ginger with glasses and pretty nice calves? And who likes Frank Herbert's Dune? And who has a generally dim view of humankind, but who actually feels pretty good about most individual humans? And who cuddles most effectively only after leaving you raw and empty, sometimes even bruised?

If so, I'm desperately seeking someone literate and witty (witerate?), who can type fast and think faster.

Sign me up, but leave Dune at the door.

 

[cookiecat]

OMG you guys are killing me!!

I'll date you all! Let's start a commune!

 

[cookiecat]

Short and curvy old bat, bordering on Feminazi.
Submissive as fuck, if you earn it. Will crawl. Will suck deep and hard and earnestly.
Loves to cook and feed you.
Hazel eyes and freckles.
Non nerds need not apply.

I'm not nerdy, I know nothing about LOTR but we fell in love anyways!! .

(I kinda dig the guy you crawl to, too)

 

[cookiecat]

I'll answer this shortly, but right now I'm trimming my ear hair while I brush my teeth, keeping an eye out on the grill so that the steaks are perfectly cooked, while singing a karaoke version of "Everybody Hurts." The flogger is on the table already for when dinner is finished.

(Hopefully this makes you smile - it's the best I can do!)

I LOL'd long and hard.

 

[cookiecat]

If you wouldn't mind hanging out with a dry, tall, gangly ginger with glasses and pretty nice calves? And who likes Frank Herbert's Dune? And who has a generally dim view of humankind, but who actually feels pretty good about most individual humans? And who cuddles most effectively only after leaving you raw and empty, sometimes even bruised?

If so, I'm desperately seeking someone literate and witty (witerate?), who can type fast and think faster.

You had me at nice calves.

 

[cookiecat]

Well if he is retired has a good pension can drive at night and likes to be tied up and spanked...the rest I can work on...

Haha! Funny how at 40, a pension wasn't on my list but now I'm closer to 60... Priorities!!! The driving at night! LOL. Stay up until 11??

 

[ExiledWelshman]

OMG you guys are killing me!!

I'll date you all! Let's start a commune!

Oh cool.

This'll turn into Waco within a week, mark my words.

 

[seela]

Are you a fan of boobs and everything awkward? Do you have a huge pile of laundry waiting to be done and a fridge full of beer waiting to be drunk? If you answered yes to the questions above, I'm your gal! I have excellent laundry skills and never tire of beer. Willing to do fucked up things in the sack.

Message me posthaste!

References on laundry and beer drinking skills available upon request.

 

[Dreamliner]

Well if all it takes is LOTR, then catch a flight and stay awhile down here cookie. Well groomed in all the right places, can cook a variety of different food, partial to seafood.

See you soon!

 

[ExiledWelshman]

Are you a fan of boobs and everything awkward? Do you have a huge pile of laundry waiting to be done and a fridge full of beer waiting to be drunk? If you answered yes to the questions above, I'm your gal! I have excellent laundry skills and never tire of beer. Willing to do fucked up things in the sack.

Message me posthaste!

References on laundry and beer drinking skills available upon request.

Aaaaaaand your inbox is probably full by now!

 

[AlwaysFara]

Are you a fan of boobs and everything awkward? Do you have a huge pile of laundry waiting to be done and a fridge full of beer waiting to be drunk? If you answered yes to the questions above, I'm your gal! I have excellent laundry skills and never tire of beer. Willing to do fucked up things in the sack.

Message me posthaste!

References on laundry and beer drinking skills available upon request.

 

[AlwaysFara]

I'm not nerdy, I know nothing about LOTR but we fell in love anyways!! .

(I kinda dig the guy you crawl to, too)

Yeah, we did.

 

[Bramblethorn]

If you had to write your profile for a kinky dating site - what would you write? If you've ever dated online, what kind of profile catches your fancy?

I met almost all my lovers online but I've never used a dating site! Trying to advertise myself gives me the heebie-jeebies. But let's try this.

Me: nerd, [age], loves mathematics, books, obscure German metal, board games & RPGs. And hurting discerning people who appreciate that sort of thing. Poly.

You: somebody who enjoys reading, is good at brushing hair, and gets very distracted when somebody holds your wrists.

...hmm, gonna have to work on it.

 

[gracie920101]

Oh I want to play! How about this?


Need organization in your life but still maintain control? Moderate OCD sub will alphabetize pantry spices, library, and medicine cabinet after color coding your closets, drawers, etc. Can also cook and bake well but procrstinates well so need unyielding direction with cleanup.

Looking for patient and tolerant Top to take firm charge with nipple clamps, spanking, clit and anal toys. Role play, pet, DD/lg ok. Expert at innovative gags and predicament bondage a plus.

 

[cookiecat]

Well if all it takes is LOTR, then catch a flight and stay awhile down here cookie. Well groomed in all the right places, can cook a variety of different food, partial to seafood.

See you soon!

I'm on the wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

 

[cookiecat]

I met almost all my lovers online but I've never used a dating site! Trying to advertise myself gives me the heebie-jeebies. But let's try this.

Me: nerd, [age], loves mathematics, books, obscure German metal, board games & RPGs. And hurting discerning people who appreciate that sort of thing. Poly.

You: somebody who enjoys reading, is good at brushing hair, and gets very distracted when somebody holds your wrists.

...hmm, gonna have to work on it.

Very important points.

 

[cookiecat]

Oh I want to play! How about this?


Need organization in your life but still maintain control? Moderate OCD sub will alphabetize pantry spices, library, and medicine cabinet after color coding your closets, drawers, etc. Can also cook and bake well but procrstinates well so need unyielding direction with cleanup.

Looking for patient and tolerant Top to take firm charge with nipple clamps, spanking, clit and anal toys. Role play, pet, DD/lg ok. Expert at innovative gags and predicament bondage a plus.

"unyielding direction" - I like that part!!

Although I'm not a top, I could muster up the energy to put a leash on you and tell you "good girl" while I watch you organize my pantry.

Hmm. Not quite the same.

 

[cookiecat]

Serious question --

so what do you NEED to see in a profile?

Bramble mentioned poly. For SURE, I'd need to see what your relationship dynamic is.

I know some things depend on the person. For example, I get turned on by hairy guys. I think I even had "hairy" as a plus in my former profile. Mr. cookie was as smooth as a hard boiled egg.

There was one guy, recently, I was very interested in. Pushed all the right buttons. After a month of so of talking, he threw out he required his woman to wear tights. All the time. Always. It was some form of control. He was even in to turtlenecks, cat suits, heavy girdles. I'm ok with that at certain times. I like those kind of reminders. But NOT ALL THE TIME. He would not compromise on this. I mentioned I wished he had this in his profile, some mention of a uniform, and I wouldn't have spun my wheels. He thought what he was offering in terms of everything else would lure me in to saying yes to tights. It was a weird deal breaker.

Wordy profiles strike me as too much. And yet, some things a girl just wants to know. Monogamous? Poly? Swinger? Require tights?

What is important stuff to you?

 

[ExiledWelshman]

If I HAD to make one...

Insecure Dom with Daddy tendencies for the right unlucky girl.
Applicant must be able to deal with some moodiness, a love of sports and for her taste in music to be judged in the harshest possible way.
Anything good is a bonus.