Kinda Worried

[ShyVixen]

In my younger years, I always associated being beautiful with being stick thin. As you get older, you realize that there is more to sexuality than weight. It's how you carry yourself, the look in your eye, a beautiful smile...I know that is not easy to accept. Be yourself, express yourself as a sensual woman with lots to offer.

 

[SubKekiLee]

IMO- I agree with there is BIG and then there is unhealthy, I dont think sex appeal is about your body structure as much as it is about your attitude. I used to be a size 14 and then I went up to a 20 and now I am back to 15 but MY D loves me as I am... He has asked me not to change but I wanted to be healthy.. it wasnt for him I changed he says I have a sexual prowess about me that is incredible.. *** shrug**** he says he doesnt like SKINNY girls cause hed be afraid hed break them he loves my ass as well.. UGH although I hate it... =0) Youll find your D when the time is right

 

[rachy91]

Thanks guys and Fi *HUG HUG HUG HUG* thank you for sharing with me and all the others, its hard.. very hard and its not like im one of this people who eat and eat chocolate and go, ohmygod im so fat, i actually eat right, cept not the veges..oops! and excercise so ya

and Kekilee I hate my ass too! its big, white and wobble ;[ and cellulite kinda, but my Bf loves it, im like ...ew haha



(For those who dont know, i dont have a dom,but a bf, he knows im submissive but hes not really hooked on the idea of being a D and doesnt really know how to, so antoher question for some of you is, how do you have a hubby/bf and have a D at the same time? does the Hubby/bf know?)

Rach

 

[LittleJade]

Im beginning to see a trend i think

"Attitude is far more important" i think i get that one now

But that is probably the hardest one for me, because i think so badly of my physical appearace and im very self concious especially out in public, For example someone will look at me for about 3 seconds and ill automatically think the worst of what there thinking even if they think nothing.

For those who will say "Just dont think about it" and similar such things, you cant know until you have been there and gone through it, its easy to tell someone, dont think like that but some people cant and dont understand how hard it is to just say one day "im so beautiful" to yourself and mean it

the raw truth is, Im NOT proud of my body, because NOBODY has ever given me a reason to think like that.

Thats just my personal vent, and in no way directed at anybody

-Rach

I hated how I looked. Hated myself. Ended up in abusive relationships. Ended up being badly hurt and nearly killed over the poor choices I made in my partners.

It took nearly dying for me to look in the mirror, and realize "holy shit, I actually am beautiful"... and it came from the thought process that "No one else is going to think I'm beautiful, if I don't think I am, first". It's similar to the thought process that "No one will love you if you don't love yourself first".

So- I started to like certain things- my eyes. Then my mouth. Then my hair. Then it sort of just travelled over my body.

*smile* Start small.

 

[rachy91]

I hated how I looked. Hated myself. Ended up in abusive relationships. Ended up being badly hurt and nearly killed over the poor choices I made in my partners.

It took nearly dying for me to look in the mirror, and realize "holy shit, I actually am beautiful"... and it came from the thought process that "No one else is going to think I'm beautiful, if I don't think I am, first". It's similar to the thought process that "No one will love you if you don't love yourself first".

So- I started to like certain things- my eyes. Then my mouth. Then my hair. Then it sort of just travelled over my body.

*smile* Start small.

you poor thing im glad you realised

Ive been told over and over that my face is the cutest thing, previous partners have said, i love your smile or your eyes, (and always my ass haha) but i cant believe that, because when i look in the mirror i dont see a beautiful human being, i see a monster.. which is all apart of my self esteem, and as you stated no one will love you if you dont loveyourself, this is something i have to get through but its hard to go through it, basically by yourself when your partner doesnt understand, he doesnt understand all i went through in school and at work and how shatterd my preception ofmyself is, which is why he gets angry when i dont believe what he says

and yeaa..

 

[Mazuri]

I understand perfectly what you're talking about, rachy, as my husband and I have this talk often and just wound up another tonight. He's very loving and supportive, but he's lived his life with a "who cares what anyone else thinks" attitude so can't understand why the things that others said have shattered me so. I've been told I was unattractive since I was 5 years old (my brother had cruel friends). It's just snowballed since...I'm closing on 40 and I still don't look in mirrors. I simply cannot stand what I see there. My husband tries, but for all his support and love, I just don't see what he does and I doubt I ever will.

 

[rachy91]

I understand perfectly what you're talking about, rachy, as my husband and I have this talk often and just wound up another tonight. He's very loving and supportive, but he's lived his life with a "who cares what anyone else thinks" attitude so can't understand why the things that others said have shattered me so. I've been told I was unattractive since I was 5 years old (my brother had cruel friends). It's just snowballed since...I'm closing on 40 and I still don't look in mirrors. I simply cannot stand what I see there. My husband tries, but for all his support and love, I just don't see what he does and I doubt I ever will.

I understand all about your brothers friends, even when people are just joking...it hurts, i remember probablyt about year 10? of highschool and i was walking home with my 3 mates [all male] and a boy a know and considered a friend rode by, and i called out going "hey bob(cant remember his name)" and he wheels his bike back around and starts saying Hey Ms fatty, and going Rachel ya fat, and such

Thats a memory im going to have for the rest of my life, of all the cruel little children who used to tease me when they ThOUGHT it was a joke, but its not

Remember everyone, when you joke to a friend about their weight, just have a little think how it will impact, some people its just a funny joke, others it hurts.. be aware people.

 

[Mazuri]

I understand all about your brothers friends, even when people are just joking...it hurts,

Oh this kid wasn't joking. He knew he was being cruel and had intended to be so. I learned to avoid him. Then I learned to avoid most others. Hubby has to drag me into public because I have crowd issues now due to avoiding folks for so long and imagining what they're saying/thinking. I'm getting better at it slowly, but I wonder if I'm really getting over it or just managing to fake it better.

 

[rachy91]

Oh this kid wasn't joking. He knew he was being cruel and had intended to be so. I learned to avoid him. Then I learned to avoid most others. Hubby has to drag me into public because I have crowd issues now due to avoiding folks for so long and imagining what they're saying/thinking. I'm getting better at it slowly, but I wonder if I'm really getting over it or just managing to fake it better.

Are you stalking my life? I remember all the time, all out public, when i was at school, even when i was 8 or so, i avoided people, i hated crowds, because of the exactly same thing as you, Sometimes i think, even now how can people be so cruel?, People need to grow up

 

[EmpressFi]

Man that hits home... I grew up in a small town and for the most part, was well liked, so I didnt get a lot of the teasing for being fat... however I did get teased from some of the guys about giving them head... guess they thought I was so desperate that I'd do it.. *shakes the memory from her head*

But even now, people are cruel. Sure.. they may not say what's on their mind... I know, some do, but most dont... however.. the look on their face speaks VOLUMES.

This past weekend I was walking through an airport in a short-ish skirt (it came only 2-3 inches above my knees)... and I loved that outft, thought I looked really good in it.. and for those who know me..for me to show leg.. AND feel good about it.. rare thing.. but I'm walking from one end of the terminal to the other to catch my connecting flight and I notice a few people on my way, staring.. and their gaze starts at my ankles/lower legs, move up, and when their eyes meet mine and they realize that their look of disgust is noticed, they hurriedly look away.. I glared right back at one woman as she would NOT stop staring... but all the self-confidence I'd built to even leave the house wearing this outfit was being clipped away with each person who gave me "the look" as I was walking through the airport. I'd felt sexy at the start of my trip.. .eager for Master to see the outfit - to see that I'd actually conquered a fear of mine and worn a short skirt... and yet as I waited for the plane... I suddenly was feeling full of fear, and doubt.. and self-revulsion. Now.. granted.. all it took was the look of love, awe, and lust... and yes.. pride, in Master's face as I walked up to him to wash a lot of that away.. but I can still see their faces.. and it validates the voices of doubt in my head..

 

[rachy91]

Your Stories never cease to amaze me at what happens to you, and im very happy for you that you have your master and husband there for you. Fi, your an amazing person

 

[EmpressFi]

I'll tell you the same thing I tell Master and/or my husband when they say I'm amazing...

I'm not amazing, I'm just me...

but thanks

 

[Homburg]

I hated how I looked. Hated myself. Ended up in abusive relationships. Ended up being badly hurt and nearly killed over the poor choices I made in my partners.

It took nearly dying for me to look in the mirror, and realize "holy shit, I actually am beautiful"... and it came from the thought process that "No one else is going to think I'm beautiful, if I don't think I am, first". It's similar to the thought process that "No one will love you if you don't love yourself first".

So- I started to like certain things- my eyes. Then my mouth. Then my hair. Then it sort of just travelled over my body.

*smile* Start small.

That first part could've been damned near a direct quote from "w". It describes a solid portion of her life. I just wish she would get to the second portion of it. Her hair, eyes, smile, etc. *sigh* But no one will ever convince anyone of such things until they start to believe it themselves.

I'm proof. I'm 35 years old, and this is the first time in my since I was a young child that I would willingly be seen outside of the house without a shirt on. Sure, I made some major changes in my body composition to get there, but it took the love of two women and a lot of compliments from other women to get me to even think about going there.

I still get "the look", as I am a furry beast. People are disturbed by that. *shrug* Fuck em. I get enough of the other kind of look that I don't mind. And, most importantly, "v" can't keep her eyes, or hands, off of me when I do that. At that point I definitely say fuck anyone that doesn't like what they see.

 

[rachy91]

At that point I definitely say fuck anyone that doesn't like what they see.

You go boy!! Kudos to you,
And everyone should like what they see

 

[sister76]

Yeah, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. A lot of guys like bigger women. You should still be selective, though, because there are a lot of people out there and there are some that are exactly what you want without you having to settle for less.

 

[rachy91]

Just bumping it along ^^

 

[Evil_Geoff]

I like big women, small women, tall women, short women, thin women, fat women, big breasted women, small breasted women... the only thing I think of as a requirement? Like Sir Mix-a-lot sings:

I like big butts and I can not lie
You other brothers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung, wanna pull out your tough
'Cause you notice that butt was stuffed
Deep in the jeans she's wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring



I likes a woman wif' a big butt! Sumpin' what I can hold on to an' beat wif a car antenna! - Garret Morris, SNL

WORD!

I don't want to be afraid to put some UMPH! into a swat now and then, know what I mean?

 

[EmpressFi]

I don't want to be afraid to put some UMPH! into a swat now and then, know what I mean?

/purr

 

[rachy91]

I like big women, small women, tall women, short women, thin women, fat women, big breasted women, small breasted women... the only thing I think of as a requirement? Like Sir Mix-a-lot sings:

I like big butts and I can not lie
You other brothers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung, wanna pull out your tough
'Cause you notice that butt was stuffed
Deep in the jeans she's wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring



I likes a woman wif' a big butt! Sumpin' what I can hold on to an' beat wif a car antenna! - Garret Morris, SNL

WORD!

I don't want to be afraid to put some UMPH! into a swat now and then, know what I mean?

Haha geoff you naughty man!! i definately understand ;P

 

[Homburg]

Yeah, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. A lot of guys like bigger women. You should still be selective, though, because there are a lot of people out there and there are some that are exactly what you want without you having to settle for less.

The internet has taught me many important lessons. The most important lesson it taught me about sex was this:

It doesn't matter how weird or specific your fantasy is, somewhere on the internet you will find one person willing to help you make it a reality, and a second person willing to pay to watch it happen.

Now the intent of the comment is humourous, but the underlying message is true. Simply put, there is somewhere out there for everyone. There is someone out there that dreams of you, they just don't know who you are. If you are desperate, and just go with the first person that pays you a little attention, you might not find that special soul that for whom you light their secret flame.

Be choosy. Be picky. Hold out. When you do find that soul, that dreamer, and deep and serious love blossoms, it will sweep everything away like raging wildfire.



Note: The last comment was not directed at Sister76, or anyone else in particular. It was directed at ladies out there that feel like they don't have anything to offer and just want a man, any man.

Be choosy, you are worth it.

 

[LittleJade]

That first part could've been damned near a direct quote from "w". It describes a solid portion of her life. I just wish she would get to the second portion of it. Her hair, eyes, smile, etc. *sigh* But no one will ever convince anyone of such things until they start to believe it themselves.

I'm proof. I'm 35 years old, and this is the first time in my since I was a young child that I would willingly be seen outside of the house without a shirt on. Sure, I made some major changes in my body composition to get there, but it took the love of two women and a lot of compliments from other women to get me to even think about going there.

I still get "the look", as I am a furry beast. People are disturbed by that. *shrug* Fuck em. I get enough of the other kind of look that I don't mind. And, most importantly, "v" can't keep her eyes, or hands, off of me when I do that. At that point I definitely say fuck anyone that doesn't like what they see.

I'm still quite a heavy person. Have lost a bunch of weight, but want to lose more... much more. And yet, today I was wandering around in a pair of slacks and a tank top. *shrug* It was hot. Why should I go around like it's mid-winter, just to spare someone my flabby arms? I know that my great tits make up for it. Heh.

I have my days where I'm insecure- where I'll try on every part of my wardrobe and not find anything that looks good on me... but those days are INCREDIBLY few and far between now.

I'm a confident person now... it takes one, to get a Bettie Page hairdo. Or to wear exotic eye makeup like I do, and know that I can pull it off. It takes confidence to be 5'10 without shoes on, and then to wear 4" heels. *shrug*

I'm proud of myself, of how I look, of how far I've come.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I learned a long time ago that no matter what weight you are, you are not going to please everyone so you are best pleasing yourself first. A couple of years before meeting F, I was dating a guy who later claimed I had ruined him for everyone because he could never find another to measure up sexually to me...funny thing is even though I was down to less weight than before I was married and had children (could fit into Oz size 8 easily), he said I was too fat and needed to lose weight. The next guy I dated while I was still the same size said I was too skinny which my mother fully agreed with. Think F is the first man in my life who has liked my size and seen it as a positive.

Catalina

 

[Homburg]

I'm a confident person now... it takes one, to get a Bettie Page hairdo. Or to wear exotic eye makeup like I do, and know that I can pull it off. It takes confidence to be 5'10 without shoes on, and then to wear 4" heels. *shrug*

I'm proud of myself, of how I look, of how far I've come.

At the risk of sounding like an internet kiss-ass, and goodness knows I've probably sounded like it quite a bit in this thread, that description sounds hot. Not necessarily in in any individual element, but more in the portrayal of the whole. You know what you have, and what you want to show, and you like it. That sort of confidence is fucking hot, period.

 

[LittleJade]

At the risk of sounding like an internet kiss-ass, and goodness knows I've probably sounded like it quite a bit in this thread, that description sounds hot. Not necessarily in in any individual element, but more in the portrayal of the whole. You know what you have, and what you want to show, and you like it. That sort of confidence is fucking hot, period.

*smile*

Danke.

 

[feathermoon]

Plush girls rock?!

Hey ~ I'm going to take that to bed with me tonight because I love the way it sounds - Plush Girls Rock.

We do rock. We can be sexy and confident and play up our features just like anyone else. Pity the man who thinks he can tell me "no", lol.

Don't worry. Accentuate your positive and live large.

Hugs,
Jody