Kaitlyn's Message Board

[EasyLisa]

I'm going to talk about this here. Some of my coworkers were ranting about the topic and I wanted SO badly to correct them.... but it's work, and i'm trying to avoid bringing up my sex life too much... so.... just going to vent here.

The idea that men always cheat, or are somehow predisposed to cheat, is stupid. They like sex. Sure. Newsflash: ALMOST EVERYONE LIKES SEX. You do. I do. Your husband does. Maybe men aren't socialized to feel ashamed of their sex drive the way we are.... but that doesn't make them sex crazed lunatics.

And maybe they DO want some variety... maybe they do want to sleep with other people besides you. But here's a question: did you ever talk about it? Did you ever mention to each other that maybe the two of you fufilling every single sexual desire you'll ever have for the rest of your lives is a BIT unrealistic? Did either of you ever CONSIDER the possibility that MAYBE you could sleep with other people?

It's so goddamn infuriating how these women just live their whole lives completely certain that monagamy is the only possible relationship model. Everyone just falls face first into monagamous relationships and never once considers the possibility that the reason they feel so miserable is because they DON'T WANT TO BE MONAGAMOUS. Just... fuck a stranger. Just do it. Tinder is a thing. It costs literally nothing.

I realize that not everyone is polyamorous. Not everyone feels comfortable giving themselves to more than one loving romantic relationship. I'd never advocate that for someone that didn't feel naturally drawn to the lifestyle....

But for the love of god, stop acting like your way is the only way.

Where is the hand clapping emotion?

 

[kaitlyn_sun]

I'm not ranting, I swear.... I just have one more thought...

I'm open and honest with my partners about my expectations and my needs. I'm not cheating on anyone, because this was part of our understanding of what our relationship was going to be from the beginning. We're all free to be with who we want.

Conversely... if your husband fucks me... i'm still not cheating. Everyone i'm in a relationship with knows what's going on. YOU might not, but that's your relationship, not mine. If your husband is in my bed, maybe it has more to do with your shitty marriage than anything i'm doing. You and he agreed not to sleep with other people... and clearly that's not working out. Meanwhile, I never agreed to jack shit. Stop acting like your narrow definition of marriage has any bearing on who I decide to fuck.

That sounds mean, I know... i'm not some predator out to sleep with people's husbands... i'm just tired of women like that automatically deciding that women like me are the badguy. Try sucking your husbands cock occasionally, and maybe he won't be so desperate for me to do it.

Rant over :/

 

[kaitlyn_sun]

Just going to put this here, because I feel like I wind up writing versions of this a lot;

Yes, I have absolutely taken nude photos of myself. Also video. I've had sex on camera a LOT. In one of them i'm cosplaying daenerys targaryen.

And no, you will absolutely, under no circumstances, ever see any of it. It's mine, it's just for me, and that's it.

 

[RawHumor]

I'm glad you've promised to make me an exception to such silly rules.

 

[ProfQ1955]

Damn I was hoping for a ham sandwich

 

[kaitlyn_sun]

This might be the most honest orgasm I've ever seen in porn.

I especially love how, after she's had that squirming, toe-curling orgasm.... she needs to have a break! that's so... like.... I love that. and she knows exactly what to say to get it

 

[cliteatingman]

I'm not ranting, I swear.... I just have one more thought...

I'm open and honest with my partners about my expectations and my needs. I'm not cheating on anyone, because this was part of our understanding of what our relationship was going to be from the beginning. We're all free to be with who we want.

Conversely... if your husband fucks me... i'm still not cheating. Everyone i'm in a relationship with knows what's going on. YOU might not, but that's your relationship, not mine. If your husband is in my bed, maybe it has more to do with your shitty marriage than anything i'm doing. You and he agreed not to sleep with other people... and clearly that's not working out. Meanwhile, I never agreed to jack shit. Stop acting like your narrow definition of marriage has any bearing on who I decide to fuck.

That sounds mean, I know... i'm not some predator out to sleep with people's husbands... i'm just tired of women like that automatically deciding that women like me are the badguy. Try sucking your husbands cock occasionally, and maybe he won't be so desperste for me to do it.

Rant over :/

Amen, Sister!

 

[kaitlyn_sun]

Amen, Sister!

I wish I could remember what had me so mad that day...

 

[MrRetro]

I'm going to talk about this here. Some of my coworkers were ranting about the topic and I wanted SO badly to correct them.... but it's work, and i'm trying to avoid bringing up my sex life too much... so.... just going to vent here.

The idea that men always cheat, or are somehow predisposed to cheat, is stupid. They like sex. Sure. Newsflash: ALMOST EVERYONE LIKES SEX. You do. I do. Your husband does. Maybe men aren't socialized to feel ashamed of their sex drive the way we are.... but that doesn't make them sex crazed lunatics.

And maybe they DO want some variety... maybe they do want to sleep with other people besides you. But here's a question: did you ever talk about it? Did you ever mention to each other that maybe the two of you fufilling every single sexual desire you'll ever have for the rest of your lives is a BIT unrealistic? Did either of you ever CONSIDER the possibility that MAYBE you could sleep with other people?

It's so goddamn infuriating how these women just live their whole lives completely certain that monagamy is the only possible relationship model. Everyone just falls face first into monagamous relationships and never once considers the possibility that the reason they feel so miserable is because they DON'T WANT TO BE MONAGAMOUS. Just... fuck a stranger. Just do it. Tinder is a thing. It costs literally nothing.

I realize that not everyone is polyamorous. Not everyone feels comfortable giving themselves to more than one loving romantic relationship. I'd never advocate that for someone that didn't feel naturally drawn to the lifestyle....

But for the love of god, stop acting like your way is the only way.

Well said.. I think women would would benefit greatly from having a romantic and sexual experience outside of a monogamous relationship..

 

[kaitlyn_sun]

Well said.. I think women would would benefit greatly from having a romantic and sexual experience outside of a monogamous relationship..

well, men too. but at least women stand a chance of changing their minds once they have some broader experiences. Dudes... well, I don't want to generalize, but... dudes can be really good at ignoring everything and staying stupid.

 

[MrRetro]

well, men too. but at least women stand a chance of changing their minds once they have some broader experiences. Dudes... well, I don't want to generalize, but... dudes can be really good at ignoring everything and staying stupid.

Well of course, but I think whilst society dictates that men are less monogamous than women I think it's genetically the other way around.. I feel that women maintain sexual relations with just one man to uphold the paradigm more than abide by her desires..

I can't speak for the population of men when describing them as stupid though..

 

[kaitlyn_sun]

MAN, there's a lot to unpack on the topic, isn't there?

First, because I really don't like making gender generalities (my earlier 'men are dumb' claim notwithstanding). Any time we get into a "men do this, women do that" discussion, I always feel like we're just creating divides between people. because obviously, man and women are all PEOPLE. We are all capable of feeling the entire spectrum of human emotion, and of doing literally anything that any person can do. Any limits we put on it are just... you know... limits.

BUT, obviously, that's kind of a head-in-the-sand feminist pipe dream.

First, because we are all a product of socialization, which I think is a large part of what you're talking about. Women ARE socialized to suffer through stuff they don't like, and men ARE socialized that they can have whatever they want, so yea, absolutely... there's a natural "men first" thing that just sort of evolves because of our stupid, stupid socialization.

Plus... there totally is some biological underpinnings to the differences in the way we think. I'm friends with a grand total of three trans people (so this is hardly a complete sampling) two trans women and one trans man. all of them confirmed that the shift in their hormones completely changed they way they felt and thought; that becoming a man means you lose your ability to 'multitask', and becoming a woman you lose your ability to 'focus'. So men and women actually do think and feel things differently...

but how can anyone be objective about our differences, right? We're all very much invested in the outcome...

 

[MrRetro]

MAN, there's a lot to unpack on the topic, isn't there?

First, because I really don't like making gender generalities (my earlier 'men are dumb' claim notwithstanding). Any time we get into a "men do this, women do that" discussion, I always feel like we're just creating divides between people. because obviously, man and women are all PEOPLE. We are all capable of feeling the entire spectrum of human emotion, and of doing literally anything that any person can do. Any limits we put on it are just... you know... limits.

BUT, obviously, that's kind of a head-in-the-sand feminist pipe dream.

First, because we are all a product of socialization, which I think is a large part of what you're talking about. Women ARE socialized to suffer through stuff they don't like, and men ARE socialized that they can have whatever they want, so yea, absolutely... there's a natural "men first" thing that just sort of evolves because of our stupid, stupid socialization.

Plus... there totally is some biological underpinnings to the differences in the way we think. I'm friends with a grand total of three trans people (so this is hardly a complete sampling) two trans women and one trans man. all of them confirmed that the shift in their hormones completely changed they way they felt and thought; that becoming a man means you lose your ability to 'multitask', and becoming a woman you lose your ability to 'focus'. So men and women actually do think and feel things differently...

but how can anyone be objective about our differences, right? We're all very much invested in the outcome...

Yes, it seems there is quite a bit to unpack..! Well, I'd like to support your feminist pipe dreams and agree with you that there is a 'Stupid Socialisation' that does place men and their desires first.. This I would like to see balanced out in my lifetime..

I think it's the complete ignorance for the biological underpinnings that have created the social system we have today.. Maybe on some level, the collective male Psyche over the generations is aware of the feminine power and has created the social paradigm with regard to sexuality, to maintain some sort of control.. Men do know that they have very little power sexually.. it's funny how things can be in such reverse order..

Maybe in order to objective about our differences we need to be accepting and not invested in any outcome..

 

[kaitlyn_sun]

Sooo... vaginal weight lifting. It is rediculous, and embarassing to talk about, and it is one of the best things I have ever done for my sex life.

For a long time, i've advocated for the three most important tenants of having amazing sex: having a very open mind, yoga, and cardio. I'm not going to call this a fourth... but it almost feels like it could be. Really strengthening your vaginal muscles makes a HUGE difference in how you experience sex.

The actual vaginal weights that i've used for a little over a year now, je joue ami balls, are actually mentioned in this article in women's health, and I ABSOLUTELY reccommend that you at least think about asding this to your routine

 

[RawHumor]

Sooo... vaginal weight lifting. It is rediculous, and embarassing to talk about, and it is one of the best things I have ever done for my sex life.

For a long time, i've advocated for the three most important tenants of having amazing sex: having a very open mind, yoga, and cardio. I'm not going to call this a fourth... but it almost feels like it could be. Really strengthening your vaginal muscles makes a HUGE difference in how you experience sex.

The actual vaginal weights that i've used for a little over a year now, je joue ami balls, are actually mentioned in this article in women's health, and I ABSOLUTELY reccommend that you at least think about asding this to your routine

That's interesting... I knew that you were a woman of many talents. Add this one to the list.

 

[MrRetro]

Sooo... vaginal weight lifting. It is rediculous, and embarassing to talk about, and it is one of the best things I have ever done for my sex life.

For a long time, i've advocated for the three most important tenants of having amazing sex: having a very open mind, yoga, and cardio. I'm not going to call this a fourth... but it almost feels like it could be. Really strengthening your vaginal muscles makes a HUGE difference in how you experience sex.

The actual vaginal weights that i've used for a little over a year now, je joue ami balls, are actually mentioned in this article in women's health, and I ABSOLUTELY reccommend that you at least think about asding this to your routine

Wow, I am intrigued..

 

[meop79]

I'm just got to say... you're awesome.

 

[kaitlyn_sun]

I'm just got to say... you're awesome.

thank you! YOU'RE awesome!

 

[kaitlyn_sun]

I'm sharing this PM I got and my reply, with permission, because I spent a little time writing it and I think it's good info

Hi! What was the result of your vagina powerlifting? Can you make your partners cum more easily?

that is actually one of my favorite questions.... because how funny is it that the very first thing that our brains go to is 'does it make it better for the guy?"

the inside of our vagina is all muscles, which is why we do kegels. Just like every muscle in our body, if you exercise it, it gets stronger... but it's not JUST that. Your blood flow increases, and you gain a heightened sense of control and awareness OF those muscles. To quote Kim Anami, a sex therapist most vocal about the benefits of vaginal weight lifting: " Sex is infinitely more pleasurable with a sensitive and articulate vagina." When muscles (any muscles) are weak, they tire easily, and feel numb. With heightened circulation and strength, all of the functions of your vagina just operate much more cleanly. You're able to produce lubrication much more easily, for example. Your libido is heightened because you're not experiencing vaginal fatigue. It strengthens your connection with your own sexual energy, which is naturally invigorating, rather than feeling disassociated from your vagina and your own sexuality.

A stronger vagina also means heightened sensations, more control over your ability to orgasm, much easier access to MULTIPLE orgasms.... and much much much BETTER orgasms. Orgasms that are longer, deeper, more intense... and the ability to ejaculate D). Women who are squirting are doing it because they have strong internal muscles... and it's an entire level of orgasm that we just don't access without strengthening our vaginas. Plus, there are further health benefits in the long run. You're better protected from urinary incontinence or internal issues like vaginal prolapse... I also understand that childbirth and recovery is much easier.

And, yea.... there's probably some benefit to the guys sensation, too.... but... fuck, who cares? The real benefit to them is that you become a more sexually aware and capable person. Your connection to your sexuality becomes a fundamental part of your overall health and happiness. The best example I can find is to compare it you being a marathon runner. If you want to run marathons, you run a lot. Yes, you get better at running... but the emotional, mental, and physical benefits of running a lot extend into every part of your person. This is essentially the same as ANY form of regular exercise, only now you also gain a huge degree of control and confidence over your own sexuality that you just didn't know was possible before.

This.... was a long message. may I quote it and include it as a post on my message board?

 

[Titts4Tatts]

The research I have read showed that in comparable studies vaginal weights showed no benefits at all. Research had hoped they could benefit urinary I continence and similar issues. But to each his own if they feel they benefit from it. I just don't find it appealing to clinch onto a pomegranate hanging from my pussy ( don't mean to sound pissy)

 

[kaitlyn_sun]

The research I have read showed that in comparable studies vaginal weights showed no benefits at all. Research had hoped they could benefit urinary I continence and similar issues. But to each his own if they feel they benefit from it. I just don't find it appealing to clinch onto a pomegranate hanging from my pussy ( don't mean to sound pissy)

It's admittedly holistic, but that certainly doesn't mean the benefits aren't real... it's as effective as any other strengthening exercise I've ever done.

Also... the 'dangling a pomegranate' thing isn't what you're actuality doing. first because that's something that one woman does to draw attention to an exercise form that she believes has real benefits... but also because you're not DANGLING anything. you're LIFTING.

I mean, lots of people don't find doing yoga appealing, but the health results speak for themselves.

 

[nevergetenough]

I would like to say

Lit is a better place with you here.

That is all

 

[MrRetro]

I'm sharing this PM I got and my reply, with permission, because I spent a little time writing it and I think it's good info

I like your reply.. It's curious how the man instantly thinks of his own pleasure when imaging a clenchingky powerful vagina, myself included.. I like that it is mostly about the feminine pleasure.. I think I like you..

 

[kaitlyn_sun]

I like your reply.. It's curious how the man instantly thinks of his own pleasure when imaging a clenchingly powerful vagina, myself included.. I like that it is mostly about the feminine pleasure.. I think I like you..

thank you! I like you!

I don't actually think I hold guys to account to much for thinking about their own pleasure first... like we were saying earlier, we're all kinda socialized to think that way.

what's interesting is that the person who PMed me about is was named felicia. So it was probably a woman. that's what's interesting... not just that guys think about their own pleasure first... but that we do too. Which... totally fine, obviously... but you have to wonder just how much we're missing out on because we're actually often socialized not to think about our own pleasure at all.

 

[MrRetro]

thank you! I like you!

I don't actually think I hold guys to account to much for thinking about their own pleasure first... like we were saying earlier, we're all kinda socialized to think that way.

what's interesting is that the person who PMed me about is was named felicia. So it was probably a woman. that's what's interesting... not just that guys think about their own pleasure first... but that we do too. Which... totally fine, obviously... but you have to wonder just how much we're missing out on because we're actually often socialized not to think about our own pleasure at all.

You are right, we are socialized this way.. Which is why I respect a woman so much for acknowledging the importance of her own pleasure and placing a priority on it.. Women are missing out in general, you make a valid point..

Now, back to the discussion point, I am totally in awe of this part of a woman so your comments have gotten me completely worked up.. I had no idea that strengthening a woman's vaginal muscles could do so much, it's quite beautiful..