Just when you think you have everything figured out

[Ms_Lilith]

you go and have cyber with a woman.

Now, don't get me wrong.. I've cybered with women before, and played with women in real life... and I've always been a submissive. It is in my nature.

Today I played with an incredible woman online.. and I found myself taking control... I called her pet, and I teased her... I was definately in charge...


and I LOVED it, it felt natural...


and I'm a bit confused....

 

[Richard49]

Wish I had been there

OK I guess if i had nothing to offer I should have keep my mouth shut

 

[meria_serves]

vixen ~ i've known "alpha girls" or "first girls" who felt that part of their personality surface occasionally, and it really weirded them out the first couple of times too.

i think it all depends on how you view switching: i've done it for Those who wanted me to, but never had the pure delight that i get from being submissive. Of course, it pleased me to please Them - that doesn't change.

i've been tempted once or twice but for other reasons it didn't work out. < shrugs > The more i learn about my submissive self, the more i'm surprised.

 

[SexyChele]

Why the confusion? Unless you had considered yourself submissive in all areas? I think being dominant with another woman would be very easy. You already know the role of a submissive, you know what the desires, wants, and needs are. I'm thinking perhaps you met up with another submissive and one simply took charge. (In this case, you) There are submissive women who are submissive to men and sometimes other women, but can also dominate other women. I guess because I feel this is natural for me, I think it should be natural for everyone.

 

[Ms_Lilith]

Why the confusion? Unless you had considered yourself submissive in all areas? I think being dominant with another woman would be very easy. You already know the role of a submissive, you know what the desires, wants, and needs are. I'm thinking perhaps you met up with another submissive and one simply took charge. (In this case, you) There are submissive women who are submissive to men and sometimes other women, but can also dominate other women. I guess because I feel this is natural for me, I think it should be natural for everyone.

I had thought I was submissive in all areas... and I had no idea whether she was submissive or not...

 

[JazzManJim]

No need for confusion. Honest.

I've seen women who were as submissive as you could imagine be very Dominant with another woman. My own theory, which isn't gospel, but which seems to work okay, is that Dominant or submissive isn't binary. You're not "Just" Dom or sub. There are degrees to either, and it's quite possible to find a woman who is on a submissive level below you, while you're submissive to others.



Did that make sense?

 

[Ms_Lilith]

No need for confusion. Honest.

I've seen women who were as submissive as you could imagine be very Dominant with another woman. My own theory, which isn't gospel, but which seems to work okay, is that Dominant or submissive isn't binary. You're not "Just" Dom or sub. There are degrees to either, and it's quite possible to find a woman who is on a submissive level below you, while you're submissive to others.



Did that make sense?

I suppose.. I just..


it was unexpected.. she and I had never talked about our tendencies in dom and sub... and afterward, we talked about it, and she told me that she's normally dominant. And I'm normally submissive... it was strange...

 

[Chicklet]

hmm...

in my experience, every time i've had cybersex, it's been more of a roleplay than anything i've ever done in real life. The character i take on online can be much different than my character in real life.

vixen, it might be different for you if you were faced with the same experience in r/l - would you actually go through with it, play the dominating role, etc, in person? maybe you just adopted a persona to play with online. i write stories from the male pov for lit, but that doesn't mean i feel like a man.

Chicklet

 

[James G 5]

Vix, I've seen a LOT of females who're submissive to men and/or really dominant females who fall in to a naturally dominant role with other suby fems
Nothing wrong with it.........play it out some, might give you some interesting perspective being on the "other sie of the whip" so to speak

 

[Ms_Lilith]

Vix, I've seen a LOT of females who're submissive to men and/or really dominant females who fall in to a naturally dominant role with other suby fems
Nothing wrong with it.........play it out some, might give you some interesting perspective being on the "other sie of the whip" so to speak

*grin* It wasn't dominant like that... it's just.. I was the one who teased, who pleasured... I was the one who took control

 

[Richard49]

*grin* It wasn't dominant like that... it's just.. I was the one who teased, who pleasured... I was the one who took control

I think a good submissive does this occasionally to bring pleasure to there Dom

 

[James G 5]

*grin* It wasn't dominant like that... it's just.. I was the one who teased, who pleasured... I was the one who took control

Nothing wrong with being on top once in a while
Just be careful not to pick the wrong person to try & Top
Slight difference there

 

[lark sparrow]

Chemistry. It will be alittle different (or alot different) with certain individuals.

I identify as a lesbian and a submissive. I have no interest in bottoming to men, but have enjoyed being toppy and sadistic occasionally with men who appreciate it. I do bottom to women, and would generally have a more difficult time including sadistic tendencies with them.

However, add chemistry with an individual (or even an experimental mood) and it may no longer fit into my generalities of attraction or known and accepted modes of being. Outside of sexual or erotic expression I don't really submit to anyone, aside from the Domme I belong to, and don't have a submissive personality in general. Most of us don't fit into labels perfectly - and thank goodness.

In other words, it's great that you are getting to expand your own vision of yourself! Whether it means that one night with one person you enjoyed being in control in cyber, or should you feel moved to expand upon it and experiment.