Just for Fun--First Lines of Rejected Novels

[Pureotica]

Wyatt Swollen sat in the emergency room, waiting for the doctor to call him in.

 

[KeithD]

How again would we have access to rejected novels (other than our own)?

 

[onehitwanda]

How again would we have access to rejected novels (other than our own)?

L-Space, obviously.

 

[Rob_Royale]

Marlene sighed in frustration, "Of course, it's not your child, Doug, we've never had sex!"

 

[oneagainst]

Clinging desperately to the chandelier, he conceded reluctantly that Isobella Cumgently was a counter-example to the concept of nominative determinism.

 

[onehitwanda]

Clinging desperately to the chandelier, he conceded reluctantly that Isobella Cumgently was a counter-example to the concept of nominative determinism.

oh my God. I think we can close this thread off right here, because that is magnificent.

 

[Rob_Royale]

oh my God. I think we can close this thread off right here, because that is magnificent.

I had to look up nominative determinism, but you are absolutely right.

 

[Rustyoznail]

It was a Dark & Stormy night, and even though she wasn't a fan of ginger beer, she drank it anyway.

 

[Rustyoznail]

How again would we have access to rejected novels (other than our own)?

Keith, I think the idea is to use your -

 

[KeithD]

Keith, I think the idea is to use your -
View attachment 2239540

I do. I'm writing actual stories.

 

[MrPixel]

Call me... a cab.

 

[Djmac1031]

The man in black fled across the desert, and the gunslinger was going to follow, but decided not to.

 

[Djmac1031]

In the beginning, God decided to take up knitting instead.

 

[Jackie.Hikaru]

Call me jizz-male.

-tentatively titled Moby Prick.

 

[XerXesXu]

Call me jizz-male.

-tentatively titled Moby Prick.

'Call me Maleish.'
A story of gender identity and cetaceans.

 

[MajorRewrite]

I knew that smell. What was it? Limburger! That’s it. She reeked of Limburger cheese!

 

[WyreBendr0417]

Though terminally dim-witted, James R. Meattower often had his choice of women in the restless burg of Flaccid Bend.

 

[Rustyoznail]

Bob rhythmically his hand over his shaft, like the high performance Walschaerts valve gear on the Pennsylvania Railroad's 6-4-4-6 Class S1 locomotive.

 

[Pureotica]

Call me... a cab.

"Why do guys assume I'm easy?" Lottie Cox wondered on the cab ride home from another disastrous date.

 

[MrPixel]

Bob rhythmically his hand over his shaft, like the high performance Walschaerts valve gear on the Pennsylvania Railroad's 6-4-4-6 Class S1 locomotive.

 

[Pureotica]

How again would we have access to rejected novels (other than our own)?

Fair enough. Maybe I should have elaborated on the concept, but that takes half the fun out of it. I'm mostly just playing with character names and context.

Why-it Swollen? I admit the humor is subtle and subjective, and easy to miss, but I like playing with language.

I was thinking along the lines of some harried assistant in the publishing house, wading through the awfulness in the slush pile.

 

[Emilymcplugger]

“In all the gin joints, in all the town, in all the world…only at this one can you BUY ONE AND GET THE NEXT ONE HALF-PRICE!” said Brick Laine.

 

[Pureotica]

Clinging desperately to the chandelier, he conceded reluctantly that Isobella Cumgently was a counter-example to the concept of nominative determinism.

Good. Someone caught the drift. Wasn't sure if my loopy, acquired taste, of a sense of humor would be missed. Just seeing if anyone comes up with something awful enough to make me laugh.

 

[Pureotica]

I knew that smell. What was it? Limburger! That’s it. She reeked of Limburger cheese!

To be honest, I'd probably keep reading on this one, just to see what comes next.

 

[dmallord]

Call me... a cab.

"Okay ...," Dimmwitty responded, slurring his words as he stood on the sidewalk before O'tool's Bar, "You're ... a cab!"