Just an opinion peice

[A Desert Rose]

As you know, I lurked for a month before I posted in here. I wanted to get a feel for the ideas expressed and IF they would be helpful to me regarding those things I felt I needed to learn and improve on. I also wanted to get a feel for the individuals posting here (the people I felt who would be open to answering my questons and understanding my naivete, kind people, if you will.) I discovered 6 individuals that I felt would be welcoming to me and would accept my overtures and my questions and kindly direct me.

I posted a bit and even got brave and PM'd a few of them. And as I had hoped, those 6 people were as friendly and kind and helpful as I had thought they would be. I felt welcomed and embraced and somewhat understood by them, as understood as one can ever be in an online atmosphere in which people don't REALLY know one another.

I felt left out and ignored by the women in here. Certain females here would not respond to my posts. I was/am not sure why that happened. However, it's no longer germaine to my train of thinking. I decieded that my opinions were valid, my questions were not stupid ones and they could ignore me and it would be fine with me. I never posted an unkind thing towards anyone. And I never will. I won't engage in forum arguements. I read a post and if I don't agree, I will usually not respond in any way.

I wanted to learn from the Doms. I wanted to nuture that part of me that was awakened only a short couple of years ago. I posted threads directed at the het Doms, for my benefit. Yes, for MY benefit. I wanted so to learn what I had failed at and how not to make those same mistakes again. There is already a wealth of information here from subs and I appreciate it and I read it, but there seemed to be so little input from the Doms. So, this was my reason for asking them (the Doms) to give me their views on this lifestyle - and how to make it successful for me.

Who responded to my threads? Dommes and subs. Occassionally Artful. Maybe my threads were too simplistic. Maybe they were too childish. Maybe they were old and worn out topics. Maybe for whatever reason, the Doms don't like me. I have no idea. But I have learned more from the Dommes than anyone here. (Thank you Eb, MsWorthy and Shadowsdream.)

**** Now we arrive at the real purpose of this thesis: I am hurt that I have been ultimately shunned and ignored by the het Doms in here, aside from Artful, who has been very kind and supportive. I will not throw barbs at any one of you. You are all smarter and quicker witted than I. I cannot even begin to compete in an intellectual battle with any one of you. Furthermore, it is counter-productive to do so. And it is passive/aggressive behavior. I will not be accused of that by men who do not know me. I have here stated my feelings on this matter and respectivly so. I will say no more about it. I am not a flamer.

I did not post this thread to be provocative, or to start an argument or to glean responses from any one of you. I have been posting for a month, reading for a month before that and I have an opinion or 2. This is one of them. This is how THIS newbie feels about the level of acceptance in this forum, especially from the het Doms. I have asked for education and information and you have ignored me. This is not a "poor me" thread. It was written to bring to attention to how this newbie views the level of acceptance here.

I am not passive/aggressive. I have, what I think, is a dry, wry and sometimes slightly sarcastic sense of humor. (like that aliteration?) I am not a pillow princess. I yam what I yam- a work in progress, a woman who wants to be the best she can be in a lifestyle she feels is right for her. I know who and what I am, I need not explain myself to anyone.

I will continue to read here, call it lurking if you like. I may even post occassionally. However the het Doms, have shown me my place in this forum and I will stay there. They can analyze me and dissect my words and determine I am neurotic or in the words of one -"a wounded bird" or that I am passive/aggressive or a pillow princess or a mattress maven or a liar. They can post threads that are more inflammatory than educational, in my opinion, i.e. Are you a Pillow Princess? And they can ellude to whomever they think fits that particular title. Perhaps it is me, however, I know who I am, and that is all that matters in the end.

Just an opinion peice- MINE,
Rose

 

[WriterDom]

I wanted to learn from the Doms. I wanted to nuture that part of me that was awakened only a short couple of years ago. I posted threads directed at the het Doms, for my benefit. Yes, for MY benefit. I wanted so to learn what I had failed at and how not to make those same mistakes again. There is already a wealth of information here from subs and I appreciate it and I read it, but there seemed to be so little input from the Doms. So, this was my reason for asking them (the Doms) to give me their views on this lifestyle - and how to make it successful for me.

Who responded to my threads? Dommes and subs. Occassionally Artful. Maybe my threads were too simplistic. Maybe they were too childish. Maybe they were old and worn out topics. Maybe for whatever reason, the Doms don't like me. I have no idea. But I have learned more from the Dommes than anyone here. (Thank you Eb, MsWorthy and Shadowsdream.)

They can analyze me and dissect my words and determine I am neurotic or in the words of one -"a wounded bird" or that I am passive/aggressive or a pillow princess or a mattress maven or a liar. They can post threads that are more inflammatory than educational, in my opinion, i.e. Are you a Pillow Princess? And they can ellude to whomever they think fits that particular title. Perhaps it is me, however, I know who I am, and that is all that matters in the end.

Just an opinion peice- MINE,
Rose

I'm not the spokesman for the Het Doms, but I doubt if they read every thread. I probably read less than 25%. If you want input, you might want to title your thread "A question for the Het Doms" or take it to the Dom Lounge.

There is no shame in being a pillow princess nor is a slam to start a thread about them. I haven't called you anything. If someone has wronged you, then call them to the carpet. Don't place blanket blame on the few Het Doms here.

 

[cymbidia]

I will continue to read here, call it lurking if you like. I may even post occassionally. However the het Doms, have shown me my place in this forum and I will stay there.

No one has more right than you, or me, or Eb, or T, or any of us to post.

No one has a place here, and certainly not one that is somehow "lower" or "lesser" than anyone else.

Fuck it, Rose.

Ask your questions.

State your views.

Refuse to be silenced.

All our voices are of equal value here.

 

[WriterDom]

Refuse to be silenced.

 

[A Desert Rose]

This is what I am not...

I am not a provocateer, I am not one to engage in arguments. I am not a "flamer."

I usually post in a short and concise manner. In an effort to be completely understood, I felt the need to be verbose and I apologize for that.

I know who the subs are here, I know who the Dommes are and I know who the Doms are. To this point, except for WD's current postings at this thread, the ONLY Dom who has responded to my threads is Artful.

One thread recently was entitled "Dom's what is your pleasure? or displeasure?" Does that not meet with your criteria, WD? You did not respond there. I posted once in the Dom's lounge and you chastised me for being there.

These are my views on this matter. I know my perception of things and yours will not converge.

Rose

 

[Sandia]

Hi Desert Rose!

Hey, let me say first of all, that I like you. I think you're smart and talented and -- unusual around here - you own yourself and your opinions.

I think that's wonderful.

Now on to your topic.

Uhm, first of all, I don't know if I qualify. When I came here I self - ID'd as switch. Now I concentrate on just being me.

Uhm, for me, at least, concentrating on fitting into somebody else's idea of what I am is silly. So I don't do it anymore. Having said that, I enjoy dominating a woman in bed. So, if I've failed to respond to you, I apologize.

You should realize there's only a couple of het doms on this board, and they pretty much have their hands full defending themselves most of the time. They seem to evoke a lot of antagonism around here. Some of them just leave - perhaps the smartest option, all things considered. Others stick around and contribute to the hostilities around here. For myself, I opened myself up too much when I first came here to just give up the fight. It's important to me to demonstrate that, yes, I have the same right to post here as anyone.

But I'm going off track again, aren't I?

When I first came here, I noticed the same thing - that there was very little communication from doms. I even posted a whole thread, specifically asking doms for their opinions. The thread was mostly filled up with posts from subs.

I'm a lot smarter now, and I understand better what's going on around here. Having said that, I like to think I harbor animosity toward none. I hope people will take me at my word on that.

I hope you won't just lurk, and I hope you'll ask questions. Whatever meager info or opinions I can provide I'll uh, provide for you.

More importantly, I hope you'll give your opinions. They're valuable, and needed around here.

 

[MissTaken]

People.

It is people who you feel are neglecting you.

Whether they be Doms, subs or cheese and crackers, it is simply people.

Yes, I imagine there are a few universal character traits that are specific to Dom/mes, subs and switches, but as people, we are all individuals.

We all have different interests.

And whether you are a newbie, oldie or inbetweenie, such as myself, there are times when we all feel overlooked.

Also, that there is no reponse doesn't mean your posts have not been read. Perhaps, to respond would only be to ditto another's post.

Keep posting.
We all find our niche.

 

[WriterDom]

Re: This is what I am not...

One thread recently was entitled "Dom's what is your pleasure? or displeasure?" Does that not meet with your criteria, WD? You did not respond there. I posted once in the Dom's lounge and you chastised me for being there.

These are my views on this matter. I know my perception of things and yours will not converge.

Rose

you asked if subs could post there and I wrote "The intention was a place for Doms to escape the hen house for a while. But obviously, anyone can post here."

if that's chastising, I'm afraid to reply to anything you say.

I think your whole premise of attacking the few het Doms is pretty unfair. We're an endangered species as it is. It was out of desperation that I started the Dom Lounge. A lot of shit goes on here that really isn't that interesting to het Doms. Like this thread.

 

[Desdemona]

Re: Re: This is what I am not...

A lot of shit goes on here that really isn't that interesting to het Doms. Like this thread.

OK, this begs a question. What is interesting to het Doms?

 

[A Desert Rose]

Re: Re: This is what I am not...

I think your whole premise of attacking the few het Doms is pretty unfair. We're an endangered species as it is. It was out of desperation that I started the Dom Lounge. A lot of shit goes on here that really isn't that interesting to het Doms. Like this thread.

Thank you for taking the time to post here at all. Your opinions do matter to me. I am sorry for offending you, if I have and I am sorry my thread is of no interest to you.

I do not mean to write hurtful things to anyone.

Rose

 

[WriterDom]

Re: Re: Re: This is what I am not...

OK, this begs a question. What is interesting to het Doms?

to me? you over my lap perhaps.

 

[WriterDom]

Re: Re: Re: This is what I am not...

Thank you for taking the time to post here at all. Your opinions do matter to me. I am sorry for offending you, if I have and I am sorry my thread is of no interest to you.

I do not mean to write hurtful things to anyone.

Rose

It's ok. Just know that you aren't being selectively ignored.

 

[Desdemona]

Re: Re: Re: Re: This is what I am not...

to me? you over my lap perhaps.

that could be fun.

 

[A Desert Rose]

Re: Re: Re: Re: This is what I am not...

It's ok. Just know that you aren't being selectively ignored.

As any feeling human being knows, having one's opinions or one's own SELF ignored and invalidated can be the worst hurt of all.

Rose

 

[zipman]

Offended

Rose,

I have to tell you how offended I am by your "opinion piece." So, the Hetmen ignore you and your threads(exept for Artful). Take a look at your your thread "Dom/mes' what is your pleasure? or displeasure?" and tell me who was the FIRST person to respond to it? ME! A Hetman! And that was ONLY 2 days ago!

But let's back to your point Rose, you feel ignored. The female subs ignore you, the Hetmen ignore you - everyone ignores you. Perhaps it is not you who they are ignoring, perhaps it is has to do with the fact that there are not a lot of Hetdoms here, and perhaps it is just human nature that we post to topics that we find interesting and that we feel that we can contribute to. It has nothing to do with who started the thread!

Sometimes I post because I have strong opinion about a topic, sometimes it is because I want to share an experience, sometimes it is because I want to ask a question and sometimes it is because there is a funny exchange going on.

If you choose to personalize the reason that some Hetmen doen't post to your threads, go ahead, that's your business. And if you choose to not remember who has and hasn't posted to your threads, that's also your business. But I for one, like WriterDom before me, would say that it is unfair to place the blame on the Hetmen as a group. I am offended by this erroneous generalization.

I came to this forum for my reasons, to learn and to have fun. I post where I want, and will continue to post or not post based on the contents of a thread - not based on who started it.

Zip

 

[A Desert Rose]

Re: Offended

Rose,

I have to tell you how offended I am by your "opinion piece." So, the Hetmen ignore you and your threads(exept for Artful). Take a look at your your thread "Dom/mes' what is your pleasure? or displeasure?" and tell me who was the FIRST person to respond to it? ME! A Hetman! And that was ONLY 2 days ago!

But let's back to your point Rose, you feel ignored. The female subs ignore you, the Hetmen ignore you - everyone ignores you. Perhaps it is not you who they are ignoring, perhaps it is has to do with the fact that there are not a lot of Hetdoms here, and perhaps it is just human nature that we post to topics that we find interesting and that we feel that we can contribute to. It has nothing to do with who started the thread!

Sometimes I post because I have strong opinion about a topic, sometimes it is because I want to share an experience, sometimes it is because I want to ask a question and sometimes it is because there is a funny exchange going on.

If you choose to personalize the reason that some Hetmen doen't post to your threads, go ahead, that's your business. And if you choose to not remember who has and hasn't posted to your threads, that's also your business. But I for one, like WriterDom before me, would say that it is unfair to place the blame on the Hetmen as a group. I am offended by this erroneous generalization.

I came to this forum for my reasons, to learn and to have fun. I post where I want, and will continue to post or not post based on the contents of a thread - not based on who started it.

Zip

Everything you have written is correct. My sincerest apologies to you and anyone else I have offended.

Rose

 

[zipman]

Re: Re: Offended

Everything you have written is correct. My sincerest apologies to you and anyone else I have offended.

Rose

Rose,

Thank you and your apology is definitely accepted.

I would also urge you to reconsider the "I have been shown my place and I will stay there." It is up to you to choose your place here and I would urge you to continue to share your opinions and your questions. And if I can contribute something intelligent or funny to the conversation, I will!

Zip

 

[WriterDom]

No one has more right than you, or me, or Eb, or T, or any of us to post.

No one has a place here, and certainly not one that is somehow "lower" or "lesser" than anyone else.

Fuck it, Rose.

Ask your questions.

State your views.

Refuse to be silenced.

All our voices are of equal value here.

It's sad that we don't have a het Dom Mod to take the right side in this thread.

 

[MzChrista]

It's sad that we don't have a het Dom Mod to take the right side in this sad thread.

Whats that suppose to mean? Whats wrong with what cym said Dont you think everybody should have a equal voice here?

 

[A Desert Rose]

Hiring now.....

Why don't you apply for the job? In my opinion, you would be good at it.

Rose

 

[WriterDom]

Whats that suppose to mean? Whats wrong with what cym said Dont you think everybody should have a equal voice here?

who doesn't have an equal voice?

You have to try pretty hard to offend zip man. I found her post offensive and yet the mod steps in to hug the poor subbie? Give me a break.

 

[MzChrista]

who doesn't have an equal voice?

You have to try pretty hard to offend zip man. I found her post offensive and yet the mod steps in to hug the poor subbie? Give me a break.

Oh its another one of them meanie subs picking on the poor Dommieboys again things.
I dont know how you poor little fellas stand it.

 

[WriterDom]

Oh its another one of them meanie subs picking on the poor Dommieboys again things.
I dont know how you poor little fellas stand it.

I know. You'd be happy if we all left. Those nasty dicks and balls.

 

[A Desert Rose]

No this is not it

I was not picking on anyone. I was trying express, in a polite way, what my perceptions and feelings were here. I was not and am not looking for sympathy or hugs. I was not whining.

I was only trying to express my views. I made an error in my original post regarding Zip and while I am at it, my first thread was addressed by Lance. I apologize again for leaving them out.

The fact remains that I have in the last few days, created 2 threads directed at het Doms in here and they were only addressed once by Zip and Artful. I think if I started a thread about raising cauliflower in the desert, Art would post. He is just that kind and good to me as a friend.

I do not want a fight, with anyone. It was my mistake. I have apologized and Zip being the man he is, accepted graciously.

Rose

 

[MzChrista]

I know. You'd be happy if we all left. Those nasty dicks and balls.

I love dicks and balls they are fun to play with. But hey maybe Id like it if you left, why dont we experiment?