Jokes

[biggbear8]

Enjoying sex
>
>
>A man and a woman were having drinks when they got into an argument
about
>who enjoyed sex more.
>
>The man said, "Men obviously enjoy sex more than women.
>
>Why do you think we're so obsessed with getting laid?"
>
>"That doesn't prove anything," the woman countered.
>
>"Think about this... When your ear itches and you put your little
finger in
>it and wiggle it around, then pull it out, which feels better-your ear
or
>your finger?"

 

[Joey3308]

A woman could never get her husband to do anything around the house. He would come home from work, sit in front of the tv, eat dinner, and sit some more -- would never do those little household repairs that most husbands take care of. This frustrated the woman quite a bit.
One day the toilet stopped up. When her husband got home, she said sweetly, "Honey, the toilet is clogged. Would you look at it?" Her husband snarled, "What do I look like? The tidy-bowl man?" and sat down on the sofa.

The next day, the garbage disposal wouldn't work. When her husband got home, she said, very nicely, "Honey, the disposal won't work. Would you try to fix it for me?" Once again, he growled, "What do I look like? Mr. Plumber?"

The next day, the washing machine was on the blink. When her husband got home, she steeled her courage and said, "Honey, the washer isn't running. Would you check on it?" And again was met with a snarl, "What do I look like? The Maytag repairman?"

Finally, she had had enough. The next morning, the woman called three repairmen to fix the toilet, the garbage disposal, and the washer. When her husband got home, she said, "Honey, I had the repairmen out today." He frowned, "Well, how much is that going to cost?" "Well, honey, they all said I could pay them by baking them a cake or having sex with them."

"Well, what kind of cakes did you bake them?" he asked. She smiled. "What do I look like? Betty Crocker?"

 

[Joey3308]

I LIKE MY WOMEN THE WAY I LIKE MY COFFEE......
"I like my women the way I like my coffee...bitter"

"I like my women the way I like my coffee...strong enough to stand a spoon in."

"I like my women the way I like my coffee...first thing in the morning."

"I like my women the way I like my coffee...hot and black"

"I like my women the way I like my coffee...no artificial sweeteners"

"I like my women the way I like my coffee...chewy"

"I like my women the way I like my coffee...IN BED"

"I like my women the way I like my coffee...50 cents, free refills"

"I like my women the way I like my coffee...to the last drop"

"I like my women the way I like my coffee...filled to the rim"

"I like my women the way I like my coffee...Chock full o' nuts"

"I like my women the way I like my coffee...dribbling down my chin"

"I like my women the way I like my coffee...scalding the roof of my mouth when my brother pulls away too fast when the light turns green"

"I like my women the way I like my coffee...freshly ground"

"I like my women the way I like my coffee...from behind!"

"I like my women the way I like my coffee...in a mug!"

"I like my women the way I like my coffee...in Twin Peaks"

"I like my women the way I like my coffee...Jamaican and blue"

"I like my women the way I like my coffee...kept hot in a Thermos"

"I like my women the way I like my coffee...dressed up in a Catholic schoolgirl's uniform"

"I like my women the way I like my coffee...sweet and low"

"I like my women the way I like my coffee...with donuts!!"

 

[veryblueeyes]

You know you are addicted to the Internet when... You actually wore a blue ribbon to protest the Communications Decency Act. You kiss your girlfriend's home page. Your bookmark takes 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom. Your eyeglasses have a web site burned in on them. You find yourself brainstorming for new subjects to search. You refuse to go to a vacation spot with no electricity and no phone lines. You finally do take that vacation, but only after buying a cellular modem and a laptop You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap...and your child in the overhead compartment. All your daydreaming is preoccupied with getting a faster connection to the net: 28.8...ISDN...cable modem...T1...T3. And even your night dreams are in HTML. You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a word processor.com You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one. You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading. Your heart races faster and beats irregularly each time you see a new WWW site address in print or on TV, even though you've never had heart problems before. You step out of your room and realize that your parents have moved and you don't have a clue when it happened. You turn on your intercom when leaving the room so you can hear if new mail arrives. Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you of what she looks like. All of your friends have an @ in their names. When looking at a page full of someone else's links, you notice all of them are already highlighted in purple. Your dog has its own home page. You've already visited all the links at Yahoo and you're halfway through Lycos. or [C]ontinue? You can't call your mother...she doesn't have a modem. You realize there is not a sound in the house and you have no idea where your children are. You believe nothing looks sexier than a nude illuminated only by a 17" inch svga monitor. You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it again. You have commandeered your teenager's phone line for the net and even his friends know not to call on his line anymore. Your phone bill comes to your doorstep in a box. Even though you died last week, you've managed to retain OPS on your favorite IRC channel. You code your homework in HTML and give your instructor the URL. You don't know what sex your three of your closest friends are, because they have neutral nicknames and you never bothered to ask. You name your children Eudora, Mozilla and Dotcom. You laugh at people with 56K modems. Your husband tells you he's had the beard for 2 months. You miss more than five meals a week downloading the latest games from Apogee, or [C]ontinue? You start looking for hot HTML addresses in public restrooms. You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop and check your e-mail on the way back to bed. You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before you landscape. You tell the cab driver you live at http://123.elm.street/house/bluetrim.html You actually try that 123.elm.street address. Your virtual girlfriend finds a new net sweetheart with a larger bandwidth. You tell the kids they can't use the computer because "Daddy's got work to do" and you don't even have a job. Your friends no longer send you e-mail...they just log on to your IRC channel. You buy a Captain Kirk chair with a built-in keyboard and mouse. Your wife makes a new rule: "The computer cannot come to bed." You are so familiar with the WWW that you find the search engines useless. You get a tatoo that says "This body best viewed with Netscape 4.0 or higher. You never have to deal with busy signals when calling your ISP... because you never log off. The last girl you picked up was only a jpeg. You put a pillow case over your laptop so your lover doesn't see it while you are pretending to catch your breath. You ask a plumber how much it would cost to replace the chair in front of your computer with a toilet. You forget what year it is. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. You ask your doctor to implant a gig in your brain. You leave the modem speaker on after connecting because you think it sounds like the ocean wind...the perfect soundtrack for "surfing the net". You begin to wonder how on earth your service provider was allowed to call 200 hours per month "unlimited." You turn on your computer and turn off your wife. Your wife says communication is important in a marriage...so you buy another computer and install a second phone line so the two of you can chat. Ciao! O

 

[biggbear8]

You know you are addicted to the Internet when... You actually wore a blue ribbon to protest the Communications Decency Act. You kiss your girlfriend's home page. Your bookmark takes 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom. Your eyeglasses have a web site burned in on them. You find yourself brainstorming for new subjects to search. You refuse to go to a vacation spot with no electricity and no phone lines. You finally do take that vacation, but only after buying a cellular modem and a laptop You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap...and your child in the overhead compartment. All your daydreaming is preoccupied with getting a faster connection to the net: 28.8...ISDN...cable modem...T1...T3. And even your night dreams are in HTML. You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a word processor.com You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one. You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading. Your heart races faster and beats irregularly each time you see a new WWW site address in print or on TV, even though you've never had heart problems before. You step out of your room and realize that your parents have moved and you don't have a clue when it happened. You turn on your intercom when leaving the room so you can hear if new mail arrives. Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you of what she looks like. All of your friends have an @ in their names. When looking at a page full of someone else's links, you notice all of them are already highlighted in purple. Your dog has its own home page. You've already visited all the links at Yahoo and you're halfway through Lycos. or [C]ontinue? You can't call your mother...she doesn't have a modem. You realize there is not a sound in the house and you have no idea where your children are. You believe nothing looks sexier than a nude illuminated only by a 17" inch svga monitor. You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it again. You have commandeered your teenager's phone line for the net and even his friends know not to call on his line anymore. Your phone bill comes to your doorstep in a box. Even though you died last week, you've managed to retain OPS on your favorite IRC channel. You code your homework in HTML and give your instructor the URL. You don't know what sex your three of your closest friends are, because they have neutral nicknames and you never bothered to ask. You name your children Eudora, Mozilla and Dotcom. You laugh at people with 56K modems. Your husband tells you he's had the beard for 2 months. You miss more than five meals a week downloading the latest games from Apogee, or [C]ontinue? You start looking for hot HTML addresses in public restrooms. You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop and check your e-mail on the way back to bed. You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before you landscape. You tell the cab driver you live at http://123.elm.street/house/bluetrim.html You actually try that 123.elm.street address. Your virtual girlfriend finds a new net sweetheart with a larger bandwidth. You tell the kids they can't use the computer because "Daddy's got work to do" and you don't even have a job. Your friends no longer send you e-mail...they just log on to your IRC channel. You buy a Captain Kirk chair with a built-in keyboard and mouse. Your wife makes a new rule: "The computer cannot come to bed." You are so familiar with the WWW that you find the search engines useless. You get a tatoo that says "This body best viewed with Netscape 4.0 or higher. You never have to deal with busy signals when calling your ISP... because you never log off. The last girl you picked up was only a jpeg. You put a pillow case over your laptop so your lover doesn't see it while you are pretending to catch your breath. You ask a plumber how much it would cost to replace the chair in front of your computer with a toilet. You forget what year it is. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. You ask your doctor to implant a gig in your brain. You leave the modem speaker on after connecting because you think it sounds like the ocean wind...the perfect soundtrack for "surfing the net". You begin to wonder how on earth your service provider was allowed to call 200 hours per month "unlimited." You turn on your computer and turn off your wife. Your wife says communication is important in a marriage...so you buy another computer and install a second phone line so the two of you can chat. Ciao! O

thats great VBE lol

 

[Joey3308]

A woman wanted to suprise her husband so she bought a pair of crotchless panties. When her husband got home from work, he found his wife spread eagle on the floor with the panties on. "You want some of this?" she asked. The husband replied "Hell no! Look what it did to your underwear!"

 

[Joey3308]

Q. What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?



A. Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.

 

[Joey3308]

Q: What's the difference between erotic and kinky?



A: Erotic is when you use a feather; kinky is when you use the whole chicken.

 

[veryblueeyes]

12 Step Program of Recovery for Web Addicts: 1) I will have a cup of coffee in the morning and read my newspaper like I used to, before the Web. 2) I will eat breakfast with a knife and fork and not with one hand typing. 3) I will get dressed before noon. 4) I will make an attempt to clean the house, wash clothes, and plan dinner before even thinking of the Web. 5) I will sit down and write a letter to those unfortunate few friends and family that are Web-deprived. 6) I will call someone on the phone who I cannot contact via the Web. 7) I will read a book...if I still remember how. 8) I will listen to those around me and their needs and stop telling them to turn the TV down so I can hear the music on the Web. 9) I will not be tempted during TV commercials to check for email. 10) I will try and get out of the house at least once a week, if it is necessary or not. 11) I will remember that my bank is not forgiving if I forget to balance my checkbook because I was too busy on the Web. 12) Last, but not least, I will remember that I must go to bed sometime ... and the Web will always be there tomorrow!

 

[Joey3308]

100 REASONS IT'S GREAT TO BE A GUY!

(No offense intended or implied)

1) Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

2) Movie nudity is virtually always female.

3) You know stuff about tanks.

4) A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase.

5) Monday Night Football.

6) You don't have to monitor your friends' sex lives.

7) Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.

8) You can open all your own jars.

9) Old friends don't give a crap whether you've lost or gained weight.

10) Dry cleaners and haircutters don't rob you blind.

11) When clicking through the channels, you don't have to stall at every shot of somebody crying.

12) Your butt is never a factor in job interviews.

13) All your orgasms are real.

14) A beer gut doesn't make you invisible to the opposite sex.

15) Guy in hockey masks don't attack you (unless you smash 'em into the boards).

16) You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go.

17) You understand why Stripes is funny.

18) You can go to the bathroom without a support group.

19) Your last name stays put.

20) You can leave the hotel bed unmade.

21) When your work is criticized, you don't have to panic that everyone secretly hates you.

22) You can kill your own food.

23) The garage is all yours.

24) You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

25) You see the humor in Terms of Endearment.

26) Nobody secretly wonders whether you swallow.

27) You never have to clean a toilet.

28) You can be showered and ready to go in 10 minutes.

29) Sex means never worrying about your reputation.

30) Wedding plans take care of themselves.

31) If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.

32) your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.

33) The National College Cheerleading Championship.

34) You don't have to shave below your neck.

35) None of your coworkers has the power to make you cry.

36) You don't have to curl up next to a hairy butt every night.

37) If you're 34 and single, nobody even notices.

38) You can write your name in the snow.

39) You can get into a nontrivial pissing contest.

40) Everything on your face gets to stay its original color.

41) Chocolate is just another snack.

42) You can be president. (In this lifetime.)

43) You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.

44) Flowers fix everything.

45) You never have to worry about other people's feelings.

46) You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours.

47) You can wear a white shirt to a water park.

48) Three pairs of shoes is more than enough.

49) You can eat a banana in a hardware store.

50) You can say anything ("Wow, do my balls hurt!") and not worry about what people will think.

51) Foreplay is optional.

52) Michael Bolton doesn't live in your universe.

53) Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into a room.

54) You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.

55) You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader's coming by.

56) You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid.

57) Car mechanics tell you the truth.

58) You don't give a rat's butt if anyone notices your new haircut.

59) You can quietly watch a game with you buddy for hours without ever thinking He must be mad at me.

60) The world is your urinal.

61) You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover's about to leave you.

62) You get to jump up and slap stuff.

63) Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.

64) One mood, all the time

65) You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him.

66) You never have to drive on to another gas station because this one's just too skeevy.

67) you know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle.

68) You can sit with you knees apart no matter what you're wearing.

69) Same work...more pay!

70) Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.

71) You don't have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch adjustment.

72) Wedding dress: $2,000; tuxedo rental:$75.

73) You don't care if someone's talking about you behind you back.

74) With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the Earth's population in 15 tries, at least in theory.

75) You don't mooch off others' desserts.

76) If you retain water, it's in a canteen.

77) The remote control is yours and yours alone.

78) People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.

79) ESPN's SportsCenter.

80) You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.

81) Bachelor parties whomp butt over bridal showers.

82) You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.

83) You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked.

84) You needn't pretend you're "Freshening up" to go to the bathroom.

85) If you don't call your buddy when you say you will, he won't tell your other friends you've changed.

86) Someday you'll be a dirty old man.

87) You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase "Screw it."

88) If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong buddies.

89) Princess Di's death was just another obituary.

90) The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

91) You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because you're not in the mood.

92) You think the idea of punting a small dog is funny.

93) If something mechanical doesn't work, you can bash it with a hammer or throw it across the room.

94) New shoes don't blister, cut, and mangle your feet.

95) Porn movies are designed with your mind in mind.

96) You don't have to remember everyone's birthdays and anniversaries.

97) Not liking a person doesn't preclude having great sex with them.

98) Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So...notice anything different?"

99) Baywatch

100) There's always a game on somewhere.

 

[veryblueeyes]

A submariner was sitting on a bench at the mall. A young man walked up to the bench and sat down. He had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, blue, yellow, and purple. The submariner just stared. The young man said sarcastically, "What's the matter old timer, never done anything wild in your life?" Without bating an eye, the old man replied, "Got drunk once and had sex with a parrot, I was just wondering if you were my son."

 

[Joey3308]

The story of the end of the world...long download (8 min) but worth it

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/end.php

 

[veryblueeyes]

The story of the end of the world...long download (8 min) but worth it

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/end.php

Darn Joey, that was so funny!!!!!

 

[Joey3308]

The train was very crowded, so the soldier walked the length of the train, looking for an empty seat. The only unoccupied seat was directly adjacent to a well dressed middle-aged French lady and was being used by her little dog.
The war weary soldier asked, "Please Ma'am, may I sit in that seat?"
The French woman looked down her nose at the soldier, sniffed and said, "You Americans! You are such a rude class of people. Can't you see my little Fifi is using that seat?"
The soldier walked away, determined to find a place to rest, but after another trip down to the end of the train, found himself again facing the woman with the dog. Again he asked, "Please lady, may I sit there? I'm very tired."
The French woman wrinkled her nose and snorted,
"You Americans! Not only are you rude, you are also arrogant."
The soldier didn't say anything else; he leaned over, picked up the little dog, tossed it out the window of the train and sat down in the empty seat.
The woman shrieked and railed, and demanded that someone defend her and chastise the soldier. An English gentleman sitting across the aisle spoke up,
"You know sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You eat holding the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your cars on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you've thrown the wrong bitch out of the window."

 

[biggbear8]

What happens when you:

1) have nothing to do

2) own a sharp knife

3) have a large lime

4) own a patient cat

5) drink too much tequila

6) and it's football season?









http://media.euniverse.com/funpages/cms_content/877/pic19490.jpg

 

[biggbear8]

sorry double post

 

[veryblueeyes]

Too funny, Bear!! I love the kitten one.

Cinderella wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let her. As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother appears,and promises to provide Cinderella with everything she needs to go to the ball, but only on two conditions.

''First, you must wear a diaphragm. But if you're not home by 2 AM, your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin.''

Cinderella agrees, but she doesn't roll in until five in the morning, looking love-struck and very satisfied.

''Where have you been?'' demands the fairy godmother.

''Your diaphragm was supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours ago!''

''I met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of everything.''

''I know of no prince with that kind of power! Tell me his name!'' '

'I can't remember, exactly. It was Peter, Peter, something or other...''

 

[Succulent-one]

Guys

The Guys' Rules At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down.
Finally, the guys' side of the story. We always hear "the rules" from the
female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our
rules!

Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining
about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do
not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say
it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving That's what
we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In
fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us
to act like soap opera guys.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it
done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it
yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach,
for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no
idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the
hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer
you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch
tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

 

[biggbear8]

The Tapeworm

A man had been feeling sick for several days. Finally he decided to try a new doctor who had just moved into town. After hearing the man's symptoms and listening to his belly with a stethoscope the doctor told him that he had a tapeworm. "Oh, is that bad? How can I get rid of it?" asked the man. "Come in tomorrow and bring a hard boiled egg and a lemon cookie," said the doctor. When he saw a puzzled look cross the man's face, the doctor said, "Trust me. I'm the doctor."

So, the next day the man brings in the hard boiled egg and the lemon cookie. "Drop your pants, and bend over," says the doctor. "What?" says the man. "Trust me. I'm the doctor," says the doctor. So, the man drops his pants and bends over. SWOOSH! The doctor shoves the egg up his rear. "Whoa! Hold on a minute, Jack!" screams the man. "Hold still and trust me. I'm the doctor," says the doctor.

About a minute later, SWOOSH! up goes the lemon cookie. "Now pull up your pants and come back tomorrow with a hard boiled egg and a lemon cookie," says the doctor. As the infuriated man starts to protest the doctor says, "Trust me. I'm the doctor." So, the man comes in the next day and he brings the hard boiled egg and the lemon cookie. "Drop your pants and bend over," says the doctor. "This again?" yells the man. "Trust me. I'm the doctor," says the doctor.

So, the man drops his pants and bends over. SWOOSH! The doctor shoves the egg up his rear. "Oh! I can't believe I'm doing this!" says the man. "Hold still now and trust me. I'm the doctor," says the doctor. About a minute later, SWOOSH! up goes the lemon cookie. "Now pull up your pants and come back tomorrow with another hard boiled egg and another lemon cookie," says the doctor. As the man starts to shake his head the doctor says, "Trust me. I'm the doctor." So, this goes on all week until one day, after the man pulls up his pants, the doctor says, "Now come in tomorrow and bring a hard boiled egg and a hammer." As the man turns pale the doctor says, "Trust me. I'm the doctor."

The man gets no sleep that night worried to death about what the hammer is going to feel like when it gets shoved up in him. He almost stays home, but he still feels sick. So far the treatments haven't helped and he's afraid he'll have to start over if he goes to a new doctor. The man comes in the next day and he brings the hard boiled egg and the hammer. "Drop your pants and bend over," says the doctor. "But, why do we need a hammer?" asks the man nervously. "Trust me. I'm the doctor," says the doctor.

The man drops his pants and bends over. SWOOSH! The doctor shoves the egg up his rear. "Please!" says the man, terrified of what is to come next. "Hold still and trust me. I'm the doctor," says the doctor. About a minute later, the man is about to pass out from terror and he is involuntarily clenching his rear as tight as he can. Then nothing happens. Several more minutes pass and he starts to relax. The man is about to straighten up and ask the doctor what happened when the tapeworm sticks its head out his rear and yells, "Where's my lemon cookie?!" And WHAM! Down comes the hammer.

 

[veryblueeyes]

1970 and year 2000. Isn't this the truth!... 1970: Long Hair 2000: Longing for hair 1970: The perfect high. 2000: The perfect high yield mutual fund. 1970: Keg. 2000: EKG. 1970: Acid Rock. 2000: Acid Reflux. 1970: Moving to California because it's cool. 2000: Moving to California because it's warm. 1970: Growing pot. 2000: Growing pot belly. 1970: Douglas Street bridge. 2000: Dental bridge. 1970: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your parents. 2000: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your children. 1970: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor. 2000: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor. 1970: Seeds and stems. 2000: Roughage. 1970: Popping pills, smoking joints. 2000: Popping joints. 1970: Our president's struggle with Fidel. 2000: Our president's struggle with fidelity. 1970: Paar. 2000: AARP. 1970: Being caught with Hustler magazine. 2000: Being caught with Hustler magazine. 1970: Killer weed. 2000: Weed killer. 1970: Hoping for a BMW. 2000: Hoping for a BM. 1970: The Grateful Dead. 2000: Dr. Kevorkian. 1970: Getting out to a new, hip joint. 2000: Getting a new hip joint. 1970: Rolling Stones. 2000: Kidney stones. 1970: Being called into the principal's office. 2000: Calling the principal's office. 1970: Screw the system! 2000: Upgrade the system. 1970: Peace sign. 2000: Mercedes logo. 1970: Parents begging you to get your hair cut. 2000: Children begging you to get their heads shaved. 1970: Take acid. 2000: Take antacid. 1970: Passing the driver's test. 2000: Passing the vision test. 1970: "Whatever" 2000: "Depends

 

[biggbear8]

1970 and year 2000. Isn't this the truth!... 1970: Long Hair 2000: Longing for hair 1970: The perfect high. 2000: The perfect high yield mutual fund. 1970: Keg. 2000: EKG. 1970: Acid Rock. 2000: Acid Reflux. 1970: Moving to California because it's cool. 2000: Moving to California because it's warm. 1970: Growing pot. 2000: Growing pot belly. 1970: Douglas Street bridge. 2000: Dental bridge. 1970: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your parents. 2000: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your children. 1970: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor. 2000: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor. 1970: Seeds and stems. 2000: Roughage. 1970: Popping pills, smoking joints. 2000: Popping joints. 1970: Our president's struggle with Fidel. 2000: Our president's struggle with fidelity. 1970: Paar. 2000: AARP. 1970: Being caught with Hustler magazine. 2000: Being caught with Hustler magazine. 1970: Killer weed. 2000: Weed killer. 1970: Hoping for a BMW. 2000: Hoping for a BM. 1970: The Grateful Dead. 2000: Dr. Kevorkian. 1970: Getting out to a new, hip joint. 2000: Getting a new hip joint. 1970: Rolling Stones. 2000: Kidney stones. 1970: Being called into the principal's office. 2000: Calling the principal's office. 1970: Screw the system! 2000: Upgrade the system. 1970: Peace sign. 2000: Mercedes logo. 1970: Parents begging you to get your hair cut. 2000: Children begging you to get their heads shaved. 1970: Take acid. 2000: Take antacid. 1970: Passing the driver's test. 2000: Passing the vision test. 1970: "Whatever" 2000: "Depends

very good hon btw empty you rpm box

 

[veryblueeyes]

very good hon btw empty you rpm box

It is full?? Darn... Taking care of the situation at hand.

 

[Joey3308]

A guy goes to the tatoo parlor and offers the tattoo artist $1,000 to put a $100 bill on his willie. The artist agrees, but is curious and asks the man why he wants to do this.
The man replies, "I have my reasons which I would rather not tell right now."

So, the artist goes ahead and does the job. But, all the while he is anxious with curiosity over why this man wants a $100 bill on his penis.

So, he tells the man that he really needs to know the reason why and says that the man can keep the $1000 he would have paid for the tatoo if he would just tell the reason for putting a $100 bill on his willie.

So, the man consents and offers these three reasons: "First, I like to play with my money. Second, I like to watch my money grow. And third, and most importantly, the next time my wife wants to blow $100, she can stay home to do it."

 

[Joey3308]

http://www.gif-world.net/modules/Gallery/data/media/15/tom_jerry.gif

 

[Joey3308]

http://www.gif-world.net/modules/Gallery/data/media/68/NiceBoobs.gif