Jokes

[TNRkitect2b]

I have listed below a website that uses a popular Christmas song to illustrate the problems that can arise from both giving and receiving the "gift that keeps on giving."

The 12 STI's of Christmas

 

[alwaysawake]

Here is the newest film, soon to be released--"Home Alone 4"

 

[midwestyankee]

Here is the newest film, soon to be released--"Home Alone 4"

AA, this raises a question: why would the producers of a successful comedy series bring out a sequel that isn't a comedy but a Thriller?

 

[Guest]

TNRkitect2b
AA
midwestyankee

a grooooannnn for each of your posts LOL

too funny !!

 

[Joey3308]

http://www.bostonblueyes.com/images/disappoint.jpg

 

[Guest]

http://www.bostonblueyes.com/images/disappoint.jpg

and a groan for yours too Joey LOLOL

 

[Guest]

elastic baby

 

[Joey3308]

elastic baby

OMGD that was the best...I haven't had a good laugh in a long time and ya just can't help laughing

 

[Guest]

OMGD that was the best...I haven't had a good laugh in a long time and ya just can't help laughing

 

[midwestyankee]

TNRkitect2b
AA
midwestyankee

a grooooannnn for each of your posts LOL

too funny !!

Like all good boys in the rest room, we aim to please!

 

[Guest]

naughty pussy

oh.. you'll need to turn up your volume a bit..

 

[Joey3308]

http://www.bostonblueyes.com/images/fl.jpg

 

[Guest]

http://www.bostonblueyes.com/images/fl.jpg

OMG
LMAO !!

 

[Joey3308]

http://www.bostonblueyes.com/images/kat.jpg

 

[Joey3308]

http://www.bostonblueyes.com/images/kmart.jpg

 

[alwaysawake]

Two old ladies were sitting on a park bench outside the local town hall where a flower show was in progress. One leaned over and said, "Life is so damned boring. We never have any fun anymore. For $5.00, I'd take my clothes off and streak through that stupid flower show!"

"You're on!" said the other old lady, holding up a $5.00 bill.

As fast as she could, the first little old lady fumbled her way out of her clothes. Now, completely naked, she streaked through the front door of the flower show. Waiting outside, her friend soon heard a huge commotion inside the hall, followed by loud applause. The naked old lady burst out through the door accompanied by a cheering crowd.

"What happened?" asked her waiting friend.

"I won first prize for Best Dried Arrangement."

 

[carrie-on]

Little Known Christmas Fact
Not long ago and far away, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip...but there were problems everywhere.

Four of his elves were sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule.

Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her mom was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where. More Stress. Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the boards cracked and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys. So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of coffee and a shot of whiskey. When he went to the cupboard, he found the elves had hidden the liquor and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he dropped the coffee pot and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the he kitchen floor.

He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw it was made from.

Just then the doorbell rang and Santa cussed on his way to the door. He opened the door and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The angel said: "Where would you like to put this tree Santa?"

And that my friends, is how the little angel came to be on top of the Christmas tree.

 

[carrie-on]

Office Holiday Memo
To: All Employees
From: Management
Subject: Office conduct during the Christmas season

Effective immediately, employees should keep in mind the following guidelines in compliance with FROLIC (the Federal Revelry Office and Leisure Industry Council).

1. Running aluminum foil through the paper shredder to make tinsel is discouraged.
2. Playing Jingle Bells on the push-button phone is forbidden (it runs up an incredible long distance bill)
3. Work requests are not to be filed under "Bah humbug."
4. Company cars are not to be used to go over the river and through the woods to Grandma's house.
5. All fruitcake is to be eaten BEFORE July 25.
6. Egg nog will NOT be dispensed in vending machines.

In spite of all this, the staff is encouraged to have a Happy Holiday.

 

[midwestyankee]

http://www.bostonblueyes.com/images/fl.jpg

Joey, I'll have you know that you just dissed the favorite breakfast of Dan Quayle! Now, aren't you ashamed of yourself?

 

[jazey_43]

naughty pussy

oh.. you'll need to turn up your volume a bit..

OMG!!!! This was hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Thanks for the great giggle jas...I so needed it!!

 

[Joey3308]

Joey, I'll have you know that you just dissed the favorite breakfast of Dan Quayle! Now, aren't you ashamed of yourself?

Uh....nope

Mornin Mid...Happy Hump Day!
http://www.bostonblueyes.com/images/camels.jpg

 

[midwestyankee]

Uh....nope

Mornin Mid...Happy Hump Day!
http://www.bostonblueyes.com/images/camels.jpg

Fantastic picture!

Yep, I read once that Quayle's favorite breakfast was Froot Loops and Bush the Elder's favorite snack was a fluffernutter (peanut butter and marshmallow Fluff for anyone not fortunate enough to know and love this staple).

 

[Guest]

What do you do when you have:

* time to spare

* a knife

* a lime

* a cooperative cat

..and a camera?



*mmmmm fluffernutters !! *

 

[TheOverlord]

wow Someone had WAY to much free time!!!


But Funny!!!

 

[Joey3308]

What do you do when you have:

* time to spare

* a knife

* a lime

* a cooperative cat

..and a camera?



*mmmmm fluffernutters !! *

That's so cool! I gotta make one of those for Murphy