Jesus

[Svenskaflicka]

Proofs that Jesus was a...

Mexican

1. His name was "Jesus".
2. He was bi-lingual.
3. He was always being harassed by authorities.
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   Black
   1. He called everybody "brother".
   2. He liked gospel.
   3. He just couldn't get a fair trial.
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      Jew
      1. He followed in his father's footsteps.
      2. He lived home until he was 33.
      3. His mother was convinced that he was God.
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         Italian
         1. He made gestures with his hands while he was talking.
         2. He drank wine with every meal.
         3. He used olive oil.
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            Redneck
            1. He came from a big family.
            2. He was born in a stable.
            3. He called everyone in the neighborhood his brothers and sisters.
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               Californian
               1. He never cut his hair.
               2. He used to walk around barefoot.
               3. He started a new religion.
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[pointless]

there can never be enough jesus jokes in the world. silly prophet.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

There's also evidence that Jesus was...

Irish

1. He was never married.
2. He never had a steady job.
3. His last request was for a drink.
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   French
   1. He never changed His clothes.
   2. He never washed His feet.
   3. He didn't speak English.
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      Portuguese
      1. He never had any money.
      2. He had to work miracles all the time.
      3. He was screwed over by the government.
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[Svenskaflicka]

lol

Way to go Lauren!!!

 

[pop_54]

Hmmm

So let's see what we have here?????????

Jesus it appears was a Mexican black jew from Italy who had moved to California and was possibly of Irish / French parentage.

Interesting!!!! Never said that in the Bible. You learn something every day.

 

[MathGirl]

It's obvious.........

Originally posted by pop_54 Interesting!!!! Never said that in the Bible. You learn something every day

Dear Pop,
Mexicans, Micks, Frogs, and Portagees hadn't been invented when the Bible were being writ.
MG

 

[pop_54]

Dear MG

MG darling of course they'd been invented when the Bible was writ, it's just the narrow minded sods that writ it didn't accept there was anyone else of importance in the world.

pops.........

 

[karmadog]

He was never married.

He never had a steady job.

His last request was for a drink.

Good God! I'm the Irish Jesus!

 

[TheEarl]

Proof that Jesus was English:

1. He gave lessons to people who didn't ask for help
2. He got crucified by his own government
3. He thought he was God almighty.

Sacriligious? Moi?

The Earl

 

[DVS]

He used olive oil.

Just a side comment. I always wonderd where Popeye was from. Never would have guessed Italy. Lots of spinach over there, I guess.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Proofs that Jesus was a...

Mexican

1. His name was "Jesus".
2. He was bi-lingual.
3. He was always being harassed by authorities.
   [/list=1]

1. 
   
   In the version I knew before, that 2nd proof was: His mother didn't know who the father was.
   
   God, we're all gonna burn in hell. Next someone will be posting the lyrics of South Park's Most Offensive Christmas Song Ever...

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Re: Re: Jesus

In the version I knew before, that 2nd proof was: His mother didn't know who the father was.

God, we're all gonna burn in hell. Next someone will be posting the lyrics of South Park's Most Offensive Christmas Song Ever...

But we all know who Jesus' father was, right?

 

[Svenskaflicka]

MG, sweety, all those people did exist - well, perhaps not the Californians - but they didn't have those names back then.

 

[MathGirl]

Really?

MG, sweety, all those people did exist - well, perhaps not the Californians - but they didn't have those names back then.

You mean there really were Mexicans in biblical times? I didn't know southern California even existed then. Thanks for the information.
MG

 

[Svenskaflicka]

There were indians in Mexico, no?

But no Americans (read: WASP's. You guys didn't exist until us Europeans started crossing the ocean to inhabit that continent.

 

[MathGirl]

Gee whiz!

But no Americans (read: WASP's. You guys didn't exist until us Europeans started crossing the ocean to inhabit that continent.

Gosh, Svenska, how can I ever thank you.
MG

 

[DVS]

There were indians in Mexico, no?

But no Americans (read: WASP's. You guys didn't exist until us Europeans started crossing the ocean to inhabit that continent.

America was always here. It just wasn't known to be here, until Columbus lost is way.

The Indians who were here (hence the name American Indian) would have been perfectly happy if he had stayed at home or found what he was looking for, instead of what he found.

I'm mostly Irish, so I don't think I would be here typing this, if he didn't arrive, and that tea party thing hadn't happened later on.

Indians in Mexico? I would say yes. Long before Indians were the Incas and Aztecs. Oh, they were Indians. Then, the Conquistadors came along and took their funny helmets off and decided to stay. They were the first guys to say "we don't need no stinking badges".

As for Californians existing? Well, maybe there were Californian Indians, but Californians as we know them today didn't exist.

That didn't happen until the great Gold Rush, when all of the greedy people stood on a line in the midwest and went 1,2,3 GO. They took any way possible to get their share of the gold, or maybe some land, if there was no gold.

No, I didn't just say all of the people in California had greedy ancestors. You do the math...girl.

you all follow that jibberish?

 

[MathGirl]

I'm impressed!

Dear DVS,

Wow! It's amazing how you summed up a thousand years of history in a few short, unintelligible sentences. Thank you.

MG

Ps. Why didn't they need "no stinkin' badges?" Is that the secret of the Sierra Madre?

 

[Svenskaflicka]

America was always here. It just wasn't known to be here, until Columbus lost is way.

Hrrrm! Ahem! Lars Eriksson..? Ring a bell?

 

[Un-registered]

America was always here. It just wasn't known to be here, until Columbus lost is way.

But surely the people who were here before Erikson and later Columbus arrived, they knew it was here?

Or is what they knew unimportant?

Or don't they count as people?

 

[Svenskaflicka]

But surely the people who were here before Erikson and later Columbus arrived, they knew it was here?

Or is what they knew unimportant?

Or don't they count as people?

Well, duh! But we were talking about the major population of so called Americans, and even though this includes many different groups, I was referring to Americans as that group which is mostly seen on public television, i.e. the WASP's.

No evilness intended. I'm a Swede.

 

[MathGirl]

Great Swedish champions

Hrrrm! Ahem! Lars Eriksson..? Ring a bell?

Wasn't he the next great Swedish heavyweight after the immortal Ingemar Johanssen?
MG

 

[DVS]

Re: Great Swedish champions

Hrrrm! Ahem! Lars Eriksson..? Ring a bell?

No offense, but anybody named Lars is...well...and I guess there are several more over there?

Now, Columbus...his name had "Christ" in it. See a connection, maybe? Hint, hint?

Wasn't he the next great Swedish heavyweight after the immortal Ingemar Johanssen?
MG

Oh, I get it. Lars...Ring a bell...Swedish heavyweight. Funny.

MG, I guess that SNL "we don't need no stinking badges" skit was way before your time. Sorry for pulling age on you.

But, seriously, yes I did forget Lars. Think his name had something to do with it? Yes, I'm just jibberishing again.

Edited for more jibberish. I don't think American history books even include Lars. Or maybe I was sick that day. Yeah, that's it. I was sick that day.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Come on, MG, ´fess up: Ingemar Johansson is the only Swede you've ever heard of, right?

Mathematicians! No common knowledge of the world! They're just locked up in their cubicle little world drawing dirty algoritms.

 

[Guest]

Thank you

Good Lord, I've been down lately, on myself and, unfortunately, on others.

This thread has made my day.

I absolutely love pseudo-sanctimonious bullshit. This thread beats them all.

Kiss...kiss.

Ricochet