Jacking-Off Log

[Olivia_Yearns]

i agree with you. it's a horrible thing and did some serious damage to my self esteem for about a decade. i am just now in the last few years coming out of it. i still have trouble seeing myself as sexually attractive. i am feeling violent just thinking about it.

Whoever he was, I would like to do this to him
http://www.jeanstephengalleries.com/clay-liston.jpg

 

[Hester]

I understand this - part of the turn on is the desire that the other has for me. No matter how intense my wanting, I prefer to wait to be touched or wanted. I'd be more likely to express a desire for sex indirectly by simply wearing or doing something that I know makes the person hard. However, that's a kind of dance - a pretending that all the drive comes from him. Once things have started, my own desires become all too obvious.

frankly i don't care who initiates. i'd be happy to do it all the time, or he can do it, or we can set up an elaborate schedule based on moon phases, the angle of axis of the earth, and the dow jones industrial. it's the constant "no" i can't handle, the repeated head banging, day in and day out rejection with little to no reprieve.

not that i sound bitter or anything....

 

[Hester]

Whoever he was, I would like to do this to him

thank you, that's sweet.

unfortunately, it's several "he"s

it was a product of my own bad choices, naivete, an incomplete understanding of my sexuality and its importance to my mental health. i can't blame them if i'm being totally honest.

 

[Hester]

i'm going to jack. see you all soon.

 

[Hester]

Sometimes I want to fuck her, sometimes I want to be her. But in real life, I don't know if I could even get it up for a woman.

it's totally a power thing for me. i'm not into female genitalia (other than my own, which i am very into). i don't want to touch it, taste it or even think about it. but i could top a woman and jerk her around, hurt her a little, a bunch of humiliation stuff, and force her to go down on me. i could even fuck her in the ass given the right appliance. she wouldn't be allowed to orgasm, though until i was through with her. at which point i would tell her to go in the closet, close the door, complete her act, and then clean up and leave.

 

[MechaBlade]

it's totally a power thing for me. i'm not into female genitalia (other than my own, which i am very into). i don't want to touch it, taste it or even think about it. but i could top a woman and jerk her around, hurt her a little, a bunch of humiliation stuff, and force her to go down on me. i could even fuck her in the ass given the right appliance. she wouldn't be allowed to orgasm, though until i was through with her. at which point i would tell her to go in the closet, close the door, complete her act, and then clean up and leave.

I want to write this into a story.

 

[rimmy]

requested pontification to begin in 3...2...1...

orgasm denial is different than what i'm talking about. i'm talking about a large sex drive differential; denial of sex altogether or on a significant scale. the person with the LOWER sex drive often has more power, at least in a closed relationship, than the person with the higher drive.

the person with the lower drive has the power to (sanely) acquiesce or deny sex. the other partner is dependent on the partner with the lower drive to acquiesce, even at times when he/she isn't sexually interested.

in wrathbone's case, he's fine just taking what he wants, and seems, in fact, to get off on that very dynamic.

it's not as easy for a woman to take a man due to the erectile factor. believe me, i've tried. unless he has a remote controlled penis pump implanted, but that's a whole other discussion.... where's ollie, i want to ask him is this is a weird form of penis envy.

having always been the one with the higher drive in relationships, this is a touchy issue for me. i've been dragged through the mud by men who have used my excessive drive to manipulate me, and i have somewhat similarly been emotionally involved with men who have severe madonna-whore complexes and once they put me on that madonna pedestal have a hard time fucking me like the whore i am (or sometime couldn't even fuck me at all). while this caused me to write some reasonably decent poetry, it was a shit of a way to live. i no longer stick it out with guys who don't fuck by the 2nd date.

see what you jackers started?

I imagine for some guys it's difficult to hurt the ones they love physically even if they request it. I know I had difficulty at first with inflicting pain. Thankfully I got over that rather quickly. Once they've Madonna'd you your significance changed and out went the hot lovin.

2nd date? I hope you're sending out strong signals and by that I mean grabbing his cock. The bean wouldn't let me kiss her til the 6th date. How she resisted my charms is beyond me.

 

[rimmy]

I want to write this into a story.

I wanna watch it.

 

[Oliver Clozoff]

I am the Raskolnikov of jerking off.

 

[Olivia_Yearns]

I wanna watch it.

And I'd want you to put your hands over my eyes for the scary parts.

 

[rimmy]

And I'd want you to put your hands over my eyes for the scary parts.

Scary parts? I also wanna film the sub in the closet as she wanks herself in shame. Fuck that would be hot.

 

[rimmy]

I am the Raskolnikov of jerking off.

Plase don't make me look that up.

 

[MechaBlade]

I am the Raskolnikov of jerking off.

Be careful of those microbes.

Plase don't make me look that up.

Rodian Romanovich Raskolnikov is the main character in the terrible novel Crime & Punishment. Throughout the novel he feels incredibly guilty for murdering a woman that he murdered purely to prove a point: that he would not feel guilty for murdering her.

 

[Hester]

I am the Raskolnikov of jerking off.

lol.

i can totally see that.

 

[Hester]

I imagine for some guys it's difficult to hurt the ones they love physically even if they request it. I know I had difficulty at first with inflicting pain. Thankfully I got over that rather quickly. Once they've Madonna'd you your significance changed and out went the hot lovin.

2nd date? I hope you're sending out strong signals and by that I mean grabbing his cock. The bean wouldn't let me kiss her til the 6th date. How she resisted my charms is beyond me.

it's not even about pain, i'm talking about run of the mill deviant sex.

i don't want a nice guy. that doesn't work for me. we either want each other and make it clear, or we move on.

 

[Hester]

I want to write this into a story.

name a good character after me.

 

[rimmy]

Be careful of those microbes.


Rodian Romanovich Raskolnikov is the main character in the terrible novel Crime & Punishment. Throughout the novel he feels incredibly guilty for murdering a woman that he murdered purely to prove a point: that he would not feel guilty for murdering her.

Thanks for the recap. I'll just go back to getting my Rachmaninov's

 

[rimmy]

it's not even about pain, i'm talking about run of the mill deviant sex.

i don't want a nice guy. that doesn't work for me. we either want each other and make it clear, or we move on.

He can never be nice? The 24/7 thing is too much for me.

 

[Hester]

He can never be nice? The 24/7 thing is too much for me.

no, not at all, nice is good. i mean a stereotypical nice guy.

i could never do 24/7. either end of it. as much as a like to bottom and occasionally top, i'm neither a sub nor a domme. i don't want to say anything more because it might come out wrong and i don't want to offend anyone who is truly satisfied by that kind of lifestyle.

 

[rimmy]

no, not at all, nice is good. i mean a stereotypical nice guy.

i could never do 24/7. either end of it. as much as a like to bottom and occasionally top, i'm neither a sub nor a domme. i don't want to say anything more because it might come out wrong and i don't want to offend anyone who is truly satisfied by that kind of lifestyle.

So what you're really saying is No 'Nilla. I hear ya.


Wimp.

 

[Hester]

So what you're really saying is No 'Nilla. I hear ya.


Wimp.

a little nilla in the mix is fine. at this point, i'm not sure what i'm saying.

initially i was talking about a general personality type, not just sex, although they seem to run into each other. i don't do well with guys who are average nice guys. i run over them and then hate them for allowing me to do so. i need a guy with just a little bit of asshole in him. not so much that you'd find him at the local trailer park, but enough so that he knows how to deal with me and has the stones to do it. i am not an easy person to live with, and can be quite an ass myself.

 

[rimmy]

a little nilla in the mix is fine. at this point, i'm not sure what i'm saying.

initially i was talking about a general personality type, not just sex, although they seem to run into each other. i don't do well with guys who are average nice guys. i run over them and then hate them for allowing me to do so. i need a guy with just a little bit of asshole in him. not so much that you'd find him at the local trailer park, but enough so that he knows how to deal with me and has the stones to do it. i am not an easy person to live with, and can be quite an ass myself.

There's no question it would take a firm hand in reigning you in.

I wouldn't mind seeing you and rosco go at it for a weekend.

 

[Hester]

There's no question it would take a firm hand in reigning you in.

I wouldn't mind seeing you and rosco go at it for a weekend.

i think rosco and i would kill each other. we'd probably have fun doing it, but i don't think survival would be a likely outcome.

 

[rimmy]

i think rosco and i would kill each other. we'd probably have fun doing it, but i don't think survival would be a likely outcome.

If I was a betting man I'd put the odds at 4:5 in rosco's favour

 

[Hester]

If I was a betting man I'd put the odds at 4:5 in rosco's favour

your odds are probably good.