Is this father's tough love too tough?

[Keroin]

I was fascinated by this video I watched today, posted on Facebook by a father who dealt out some very public punishment to his teen daughter.

I'm curious to hear what everyone thinks about it. Was the punishment too harsh? Was the punishment in itself acceptable but publishing it on the Internet cruel? Or is this fellow father of the year?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kl1ujzRidmU

 

[danigrl84]

This guy definitely has my vote for father of the year! If there were more parents out that that took a proactive stance in raising and disciplining their children, I think the world would be full of more productive, considerate, hard-working adults.

 

[wicked woman]

I think I can guess where his daughter's public rants came from.

A huge over reaction. I don't disagree that taking away her computer might have been an appropriate punishment but I see no reason to destroy it. I also would like to think he had other parenting options than to publicly humiliate his daughter. He's the parent not the child. If you think the public rant is inappropriate or unwarranted or disrespectful you teach your child how to deal with her concerns in an appropriate manner.

In growing up it's common for teens to rebel against their parents. It's also an important time for parents to keep the lines of communication open with their children. What's he going to do if she gets bad grades, breaks curfew, drinks under age, uses drugs, gets pregnant, or wants to drop out of school?

While I might understand where his reaction came from, I don't condone his reaction.

 

[graceanne]

I never condone humiliation of a child. Ever.

 

[DVS]

I guess I'd be a terrible father. I think he has gone overboard. He's too emotional. He should have calmed down and maybe he would have made a better choice on how to handle the situation. I was embarrassed for him.

I don't say his daughter is blameless in any of this but shooting the laptop and making her pay for the software that he installed on that ruined laptop...plus the bullets? And, of course they are hollow point-exploding bullets. Nothing but the best. That laptop was dangerous.

I'm sure there are other ways to get his point across without telling the whole fucking world about it. He is frustrated, I'm sure. And maybe he's tried other ways to get his daughter to understand. But, after seeing this video, I see a dad who cares a lot for his daughter, but doesn't know how to control his own emotions well enough to be a good parent.

 

[HottieMama]

Humiliating a child or ANYONE (non-consensually) is NEVER right. No wonder his daughter has "issues," she has a father that can't control himself...

 

[DVS]

Humiliating a child or ANYONE (non-consensually) is NEVER right. No wonder his daughter has "issues," she has a father that can't control himself...

Most of the comments (on the youtube site) are in favor of the father. I guess it shows how dysfunctional some American parents are. Well, in my opinion, at least.

 

[Curious_in_Cali]

This is just terribly sad. I can't imagine WHERE she learned to respond to feelings of resentment and frustration in such a violent and public way. Grrr.

Fast forward 10 to 20 years... what did he teach her? IMO, he missed an incredible opportunity to truly guide her, to parent her... which if you read between the lines of what she is venting I think that is what she was actually asking for.

Though it also sounds like these are skills he was never taught either.

So much hurt... Just so terribly sad.

 

[DVS]

I think I can guess where his daughter's public rants came from.

A huge over reaction. I don't disagree that taking away her computer might have been an appropriate punishment but I see no reason to destroy it. I also would like to think he had other parenting options than to publicly humiliate his daughter. He's the parent not the child. If you think the public rant is inappropriate or unwarranted or disrespectful you teach your child how to deal with her concerns in an appropriate manner.

In growing up it's common for teens to rebel against their parents. It's also an important time for parents to keep the lines of communication open with their children. What's he going to do if she gets bad grades, breaks curfew, drinks under age, uses drugs, gets pregnant, or wants to drop out of school?

While I might understand where his reaction came from, I don't condone his reaction.

Simple...just get a bigger gun.

 

[StrayKat]

Yay for airing your dirty laundry in the public and unstable people wearing guns

 

[BiBunny]

I saw this video yesterday. When I first started watching, I thought he had the right idea because, yeah, she did sound like an entitled little brat. "We HAVE a cleaning lady!" Seriously, kid?

But when we got to that whole shooting the laptop part, I just started rolling my eyes. Maybe it's because I've pretty much always been poor, but it seems to me that if you can just throw money away like that by blowing holes in a perfectly good laptop just because your kid pissed you off, then you need not wonder why she has entitlement issues.

I'm just sayin'.

 

[YourCaptor]

She is her fathers spiting image.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

She is her fathers spiting image.

I approve of this typo/misspelling. It's simply too perfectly apt.

 

[midwestyankee]

I saw this video yesterday. When I first started watching, I thought he had the right idea because, yeah, she did sound like an entitled little brat. "We HAVE a cleaning lady!" Seriously, kid?

But when we got to that whole shooting the laptop part, I just started rolling my eyes. Maybe it's because I've pretty much always been poor, but it seems to me that if you can just throw money away like that by blowing holes in a perfectly good laptop just because your kid pissed you off, then you need not wonder why she has entitlement issues.

I'm just sayin'.

Wouldn't it have been just as effective to type format:c and then put the laptop in a closet for a few months?

This appears to be an acorn who dropped pretty damned close to the trunk.

 

[BiBunny]

Wouldn't it have been just as effective to type format:c and then put the laptop in a closet for a few months?

This appears to be an acorn who dropped pretty damned close to the trunk.

You'd think so. There IS such a thing as taking the point you're trying to prove too far.

 

[graceanne]

I saw this video yesterday. When I first started watching, I thought he had the right idea because, yeah, she did sound like an entitled little brat. "We HAVE a cleaning lady!" Seriously, kid?

But when we got to that whole shooting the laptop part, I just started rolling my eyes. Maybe it's because I've pretty much always been poor, but it seems to me that if you can just throw money away like that by blowing holes in a perfectly good laptop just because your kid pissed you off, then you need not wonder why she has entitlement issues.

I'm just sayin'.

You'd think so. There IS such a thing as taking the point you're trying to prove too far.

Yeah, although I'm not impressed with embarrassing people because they've embarrassed you. Especially if it's your child, who you've been telling since toddler-hood that it's not okay to be mean to people just because they were mean first.

Then he really lost me when he shot the computer. My daughter was watching, and she nearly cried, because she wants her own laptop so bad. She was like 'i'll take it!'.

If I were in his position, I would have just let her have the life she complains she has. She would be doing all the chores she says she does, including the 'cleaning ladies' work, and any and all extras (liker her laptop and cellphone) would have been taken from her until she can afford them herself. *shrugs* All of that would have been kept private, though, because I have nothing to prove to my daughters friends or their parents.

 

[the captians wench]

Yeah, although I'm not impressed with embarrassing people because they've embarrassed you. Especially if it's your child, who you've been telling since toddler-hood that it's not okay to be mean to people just because they were mean first.

Then he really lost me when he shot the computer. My daughter was watching, and she nearly cried, because she wants her own laptop so bad. She was like 'i'll take it!'.

If I were in his position, I would have just let her have the life she complains she has. She would be doing all the chores she says she does, including the 'cleaning ladies' work, and any and all extras (liker her laptop and cellphone) would have been taken from her until she can afford them herself. *shrugs* All of that would have been kept private, though, because I have nothing to prove to my daughters friends or their parents.

My mom had me scared to death to break curfew. She told me she would come find me wearing nothing but house slippers, her ratty robe, and curlers in her hair.

 

[DVS]

My mom had me scared to death to break curfew. She told me she would come find me wearing nothing but house slippers, her ratty robe, and curlers in her hair.

My God, that's child abuse. That would scar me for life. But in my case, it would have been my dad in his slippers and robe.

 

[graceanne]

My mom had me scared to death to break curfew. She told me she would come find me wearing nothing but house slippers, her ratty robe, and curlers in her hair.

LOL!! I'll remember that!

 

[Stella_Omega]

Wouldn't it have been just as effective to type format:c and then put the laptop in a closet for a few months?

This appears to be an acorn who dropped pretty damned close to the trunk.

Thank you.

 

[Strangebuddy]

This seems like a case of "meeting immaturity with immaturity" rather than good parenting. Hell, if she got a decent lawyer, she could probably get a judge to see that as a threat on her life (firing a gun into someone's property even your kids' stuff doesn't look good). Hell, if he so casually is willing to spend tons of money just to toss it away, he deserves to have a spoiled brat.

Besides, what does this teach her? If someone pisses you off, shoot their stuff? I'm just saying, if there's a news report where he winds up dead after she decides to pay him back for the hollow points with interest, I will not be surprised.

In short: If you are trying to seem reasonable, DON'T GO WAVING A GUN AROUND!

 

[Stella_Omega]

Besides, what does this teach her? If someone pisses you off, shoot their stuff? I

This reminds me of the bumper stickers that say; "My kid can beat up your honor student."

I said to a neighbor; "Do you realise that you're saying your kid is a big dumb bully?"

He was so shocked! He said;"No,I just thought it was funny." But I saw him that weekend, taking that bumper sticker off his truck.

 

[YourCaptor]

On another note, it is these dumb fucks that promote me to prefer gun control. No gun is not parenting symbol, gun is tool.

 

[graceanne]

This reminds me of the bumper stickers that say; "My kid can beat up your honor student."

I said to a neighbor; "Do you realise that you're saying your kid is a big dumb bully?"

He was so shocked! He said;"No,I just thought it was funny." But I saw him that weekend, taking that bumper sticker off his truck.

LOL That's great - those bumper stickers annoy the snot out of me.

On another note, it is these dumb fucks that promote me to prefer gun control. No gun is not parenting symbol, gun is tool.

I'm not at ALL pro gun control, and when I see stuff like that I can see why some people are.

 

[graceanne]

This seems like a case of "meeting immaturity with immaturity" rather than good parenting.

Yeah, that was pretty much my point. When our kids are little we tell that even though so and so pulled their hair doesn't mean that you can punch them and just because someone called them a poopy head doesn't mean that they get to call them poopy heads back. This sort of thing is one of those situations where actions speak louder than words. All he taught her was it's okay to act like her.

I mean, don't get me wrong, he has every reason to be put out and mad. She sounds like a spoiled brat, getting on the computer her parents bought her, talking on the phone her parents bought her, and complaining about how mean her parents are. Teenagers like her piss me off, and I speak from experience because my youngest sister is one (about to turn 18 and constantly bitching about how mean my mom is on the nice phone my mom bought her, in her brand name clothes my mom buys her, and from the laptop my mom bought her. and why is my mom mean? Because she insists that my sister doesn't do drugs, goes to school, and uses birth control. horrors.). But people like him piss me off, too. But then waste, as a rule, pushes so many of my buttons; I've gone without too often.