Is there a line where kinky turns into sick?

[Primalex]

You know, in a world where one guy cuts off the dick of another guy and eats it..and the other guy asked him to...what is there left to surprise you as kink or sexual attraction? Zombie porn? Bestiality? Scat and co.? Pedophilia? Old hats.

I've heard, read, seen or done everything out there. That was my thought, but I guess even I am wrong sometimes. So, for the first time ever I dumped a play partner recently because I didn't even want to have her kink just as a thought in my head (and I still try to get rid of it).

Okay, my experiences aside, do you have a line where you would .. unassociate yourself with someone? Do you draw it next to the law...or your personal opinion? Or do you believe there should be no line at all?

 

[blushingtemptation]

I think there should be dignity for those involved. I suppose that is old fashioned but even if you don't care about that person you could at the least allow them their dignity as a human fellow human being. And in giving them theirs you gain yours.

 

[sarod]

Kinky is when you use a feather, sick is when you use the whole chicken, lol!

You know, in a world where one guy cuts off the dick of another guy and eats it..and the other guy asked him to...what is there left to surprise you as kink or sexual attraction? Zombie porn? Bestiality? Scat and co.? Pedophilia? Old hats.

I've heard, read, seen or done everything out there. That was my thought, but I guess even I am wrong sometimes. So, for the first time ever I dumped a play partner recently because I didn't even want to have her kink just as a thought in my head (and I still try to get rid of it).

Okay, my experiences aside, do you have a line where you would .. unassociate yourself with someone? Do you draw it next to the law...or your personal opinion? Or do you believe there should be no line at all?

 

[Sir_Winston54]

You know, in a world where one guy cuts off the dick of another guy and eats it..and the other guy asked him to...what is there left to surprise you as kink or sexual attraction? Zombie porn? Bestiality? Scat and co.? Pedophilia? Old hats.

I've heard, read, seen or done everything out there. That was my thought, but I guess even I am wrong sometimes. So, for the first time ever I dumped a play partner recently because I didn't even want to have her kink just as a thought in my head (and I still try to get rid of it).

Okay, my experiences aside, do you have a line where you would .. unassociate yourself with someone? Do you draw it next to the law...or your personal opinion? Or do you believe there should be no line at all?

This is, I think, one of your most thoughtful and penetrating posts/threads, qp. Kudos.

Before responding to the main question, I'm sorry you had the experience you did with your ex-play partner, and I hope you can overcome it and get it (at least mostly) out of your head.

So, to the main question: I do have a line. There have been certain people who have posted here, and some I've encountered in real life, with whom I would not consider having ANY type of relationship, even casual. Their kinks are just too far out of my spectrum of allowable activities for me to knowingly associate with them, some because of the legal and/or moral (*my* morals) facets of their kinks (pedophilia, bestiality, etc.), and some because their preferred activities just squick me the hell out (scat, disfigurement, gross and/or public humiliation, etc.). I don't "judge" them, really, but just find that, like certain sports teams' fans, their viewpoints are too far away from my own for their ever to be a meeting, even tangential, of the minds, let alone an intersect.

Thanks for posing the question. It's something that has wandered through the outskirts of my mind in the past, but your post pretty much forced me to actually think about it and make an affirmative expression of my previously unorganized thoughts on the subject.

 

[IrisAlthea]

I was going to answer that I have a line and that everyone is entitled to their limits and bla bla bla, but it's not that easy, is it?

There are definitely things that would be to much to handle, not just in the "I want no part of that" sense but also in the "I don't think I can be around you after having heard that" sense. How hard I would try to handle something anyway would depend a lot on the relationship and the person, I think.

It's mostly about my personal opinion. The law matters to me when it comes to deciding what risks are worth taking but not really when it comes to what I think is right or wrong.

Where the ultimate line is, I don't know and I don't envy you for finding out.
I hope you do get it out of your head.

 

[Kim_Burly]

Very well put, thank you! I can't claim I have any dignity when he is telling me what a blankity blank I am, while slapping my pussy as I desperately try to force my tongue up his butt hole. I don't want to and we are both fulfilling each others needs and while he is my Dom and I obey him, I am not inferior to him.

I think there should be dignity for those involved. I suppose that is old fashioned but even if you don't care about that person you could at the least allow them their dignity as a human fellow human being. And in giving them theirs you gain yours.

 

[Stella_Omega]

That is a really good post, Primalex.

Me-- yes, I have limits. They are not the ones set by laws-- some of them stop much sooner than the law does, some of them are past the norm-- and also, they are changeable. Things that would have caused me to leave a partner two years ago, I now enjoy. Things that, two years ago, I would have done, now I won't do.

It takes some personal strength to maintain your own limits. That probably seems self-evident, but I know how strong the competitive spirit is in us human type beings.

 

[Primalex]

I was going to answer that I have a line and that everyone is entitled to their limits and bla bla bla, but it's not that easy, is it?

I guess it is that easy, but it's not without consequences either. Following the road of this attitude, why shouldn't be there "has the wrong religion" as limit? And further out there, we end up with hate crimes - why shouldn't you protect yourself from other people "forcing themselves" into your limit?

If I declare someone as a sick fuck who needs professional treatment - no, even compulsory treatment, then other people get to declare me as a sick fuck who needs this, too. Fair is fair.

Obviously, this doesn't really appeal to me. (Not the opinion of other people, but other people deciding that I need compulsory treatment. But then again, I can't prove that I don't need it either. Even Breivik doesn't consider himself insane.)

It's mostly about my personal opinion. The law matters to me when it comes to deciding what risks are worth taking

Yes - funny thing.

 

[IrisAlthea]

I guess it is that easy, but it's not without consequences either. Following the road of this attitude, why shouldn't be there "has the wrong religion" as limit? And further out there, we end up with hate crimes - why shouldn't you protect yourself from other people "forcing themselves" into your limit?

If I declare someone as a sick fuck who needs professional treatment - no, even compulsory treatment, then other people get to declare me as a sick fuck who needs this, too. Fair is fair.

Obviously, this doesn't really appeal to me. (Not the opinion of other people, but other people deciding that I need compulsory treatment. But then again, I can't prove that I don't need it either. Even Breivik doesn't consider himself insane.)



Yes - funny thing.

Yes, the part about fair is fair does make things complicated.

I also thought a bit about how this rhymes with how we tell each other and especially our children that we might not like what a person does but we can still like or, in case of other people than our children, respect the person.
And then there are those people who do or want to do things or just get off thinking about things that are way out of those limits and suddenly you get a good look at how hard it is to live by those standards.

 

[Scentofawoman]

I feel like I have lines in the sand. They are blurring out or getting pushed back. Sometimes I hit some hard stops. I know I can't push that wall so don't put myself back into a situation to encounter it again.

 

[Netzach]

You know, in a world where one guy cuts off the dick of another guy and eats it..and the other guy asked him to...what is there left to surprise you as kink or sexual attraction? Zombie porn? Bestiality? Scat and co.? Pedophilia? Old hats.

I've heard, read, seen or done everything out there. That was my thought, but I guess even I am wrong sometimes. So, for the first time ever I dumped a play partner recently because I didn't even want to have her kink just as a thought in my head (and I still try to get rid of it).

Okay, my experiences aside, do you have a line where you would .. unassociate yourself with someone? Do you draw it next to the law...or your personal opinion? Or do you believe there should be no line at all?

Yeah. I'm pretty unapologetic about dumping it when it brushes against my personal definitions of "motherfucking crazy." Sometimes that's pretty tame sometimes it's very out there.

Also what's crazy for one person isn't for another. Castration for one dude might just be an interesting desire to do what's going to happen anyway if you're T - context.

There are just certain things I don't want to look at, or do. Some of which I've done, so I know.

It's personal and it's inconsistent. One person can be really OK doing certain stuff with me and another person can want the same thing and make me want to vomit so no. The brilliant thing is that I don't have to answer to anyone else when it comes to my own limits.

 

[Salenku]

It's personal and it's inconsistent. One person can be really OK doing certain stuff with me and another person can want the same thing and make me want to vomit so no. The brilliant thing is that I don't have to answer to anyone else when it comes to my own limits.

I agree! Wholeheartedly agree!

 

[njlauren]

I think the answer is that for most things, we all have things we consider sick and we have every right to keep away from things we personally thing are sick (for example, people who think BD/SM itself is sick have every right to stay away from it). There are things i consider sick other people are into, like scat,vomit play and bloodsports, or humiliation (the whole 'lowly worm' style of submission, the bitch dominant treating their sub with contempt, or the cuckold relationship where the husband is degraded come to mind), but that is their right if that is what they are into. It gets complicated with things like someone into being castrated or more severe having something amputated, especially as netzach point out what makes that much different then a trans person doing the surgery they/we do?

For me the only places where judgement comes in is harm. Even in states where bestiophilia is legal (interestingly, mostly in the so called bible belt) I would truly rule someone doing that as sick, because the animal cannot consent, and obviously with children (which is illegal). I respect the right of people to form their own relationships, but if I knew of a TPE where the dominant was going to kill their sub who agreed to be killed like that, I would get the authorities involved because I don't think someone can take that right into their hands (it is not the same thing as assisted suicide, as someone tried to tell me once mentioned such a hypothetical), I would think it was sick as in some extreme submission stories where the dominant gets the sub hooked on drugs to control them.........there are no easy lines, and there have been some pretty impassioned arguments about where a TPE can and cannot go or should be allowed to, but this is my take on the idea of sick and so forth.

 

[redwingsgirl]

Very well put, thank you! I can't claim I have any dignity when he is telling me what a blankity blank I am, while slapping my pussy as I desperately try to force my tongue up his butt hole. I don't want to and we are both fulfilling each others needs and while he is my Dom and I obey him, I am not inferior to him.

Ohmygosh, this made me laugh. A knowing laugh, that is. I get sooooo get you, Kim.

 

[BiBunny]

I think everyone draws his or her own line, and it's each person's prerogative to do so. For the most part, I think as long as you can look at yourself in the mirror and not be disgusted by what you see, then good for you.

My personal line moves a lot. At one point, there were a lot of things I wouldn't do. Then, the pendulum swung the other way, and there was very little I wouldn't do. Nowadays, I'm more in the middle, though it doesn't matter that much at the moment because I've got no desire to pursue any relationships of any sort right now.

In order to wean myself off my love of psychopaths, my current rule is "No playing with anyone crazier than me." I'm the one who gets to decide what "crazier than me" means.

Also, because I'm a horrible person, I'm dying to know what prompted this thread. But because I'm not completely rotten, I don't want qp to actually tell me, since he says he's trying to forget it.

 

[xssve]

I've tried, but I just don't think I'll ever be able to think of scat as sexy.

Maybe I just haven't met the right chick, but I'm not holding my breath.

 

[xssve]

I don't think I could ever bring myself to fuck an animal, but the thought of a chick fucking one is kind of a turn on, go figure.

 

[DVS]

We can't be expected to enjoy everything and we can't ask somebody else to like what we like. It doesn't work that way. That's why we have hard limits. It's partly why I'm without a partner. A few of my kinks can be phobic to some people. Such is life. I'm not changing anything.

 

[WhenInDoubtFuck]

I don't know that I would ever set a line beyond which I would summarily dismiss a partner. As I know some of my own extremes go beyond the limits of others, that would seem hypocritical to do so. I certainly don't set any standards based on "law", but I do have my own personal boundaries. Respecting each others boundaries is really at the heart of BDSM, kink or other fetish based relationships. As long as all parties are able to do that, I see no reason why a happy/healthy relationship couldn't be achieved. Certainly though, if someone was insisting or even forcing their extreme on the other it would justify walking away.

 

[IrisAlthea]

I don't know that I would ever set a line beyond which I would summarily dismiss a partner. As I know some of my own extremes go beyond the limits of others, that would seem hypocritical to do so. I certainly don't set any standards based on "law", but I do have my own personal boundaries. Respecting each others boundaries is really at the heart of BDSM, kink or other fetish based relationships. As long as all parties are able to do that, I see no reason why a happy/healthy relationship couldn't be achieved. Certainly though, if someone was insisting or even forcing their extreme on the other it would justify walking away.

This means that a relationship with Armin Meiwes would be ok as long as he didn't try to make you take part in in his more extreme interests?

 

[Stella_Omega]

This means that a relationship with Armin Meiwes would be ok as long as he didn't try to make you take part in in his more extreme interests?

Why not?

People manage to hold on to relationships with all kinds of suspect folk. CIA operatives, gangsters, politicians.

 

[SirLeo]

Yeah. I'm pretty unapologetic about dumping it when it brushes against my personal definitions of "motherfucking crazy." Sometimes that's pretty tame sometimes it's very out there.

Also what's crazy for one person isn't for another. Castration for one dude might just be an interesting desire to do what's going to happen anyway if you're T - context.

There are just certain things I don't want to look at, or do. Some of which I've done, so I know.

It's personal and it's inconsistent. One person can be really OK doing certain stuff with me and another person can want the same thing and make me want to vomit so no. The brilliant thing is that I don't have to answer to anyone else when it comes to my own limits.

I think I am with Nez. Additionally, there is a whole different set of lines/limits in my fantasy world verses my real world. The lines are much clearer in my real world.

 

[WildWaterNymph]

On the somewhat lighter side I had a friend who used to joke about getting a license from the universal life church, a supersoaker full of holy water, & a bull horn, and doing drive by baptisms. I don't find that nearly as funny as I used to.

Though raised with religion but having since "fallen" from grace, I found that image particularly funny. come on, isn't that still just a little funny? I inelegantly snorted when I read it...

 

[IrisAlthea]

Why not?

People manage to hold on to relationships with all kinds of suspect folk. CIA operatives, gangsters, politicians.

People sure do. On the other hand relaionships sometimes fall apart because one of the partners is a bit too interested in hockey, porn or things like that.

Anyway, I asked because sometimes when limits are discussed people first say that they have no limits but then it turns out that they think that some limits go without saying.
I think it may be a bit of the same thing with this line.

 

[tmock]

Doesn't matter

Laws aside, whatever all parties involved agree to is okay. Obviously no one has learned yet, but PEOPLE CAN DO ANYTHING THEY WANT AS LONG AS THEY KEEP THEIR MOUTHS SHUT. ..ANYTHING. Don't beg or force or threaten, just do it. And keep your mouth(s) shut.