IS TEXTING CHEATING?

[Bayzapper10]

If it's what's described in OP's post, why hide it from your partner? What's there to hide?

If you feel like you HAVE to hide it, that's another conversation about communication etc.

I used to look down on monogamous couples who shared passwords etc. I used to defend the idea it's healthy to have secrets (& I think it's true that most people have at least one or two). But a friend of mine recently said "imagine if your wife had a locked safe in your house that you weren't allowed to know the combination to or ask about? Even if it was full of Pokemon cards, it would be weird." & I've been musing on that a bit lately. It feels a bit like the story of Bluebeard.

I'm currently in a semi-open relationship where it's not an issue that I keep my devices locked but now I wonder if I'd rethink it if I ended up in a serious committed relationship one day.

Kinda love everything about this

 

[TraumaNurseMan]

Kinda love everything about this

My partner knows.

 

[jimmyturtleman]

If you are engaged in text exchanges with a person of your preferred sex, but are keeping that fact concealed from your spouse/partner/SO, are you cheating on them? The texts are simple, innocent, friendly exchanges, with no openly sexual content or undertones—nothing racy, saucy, or naughty. There is no pressing reason to hide the texting connection from your SO, yet you keep it that way.
I’m not asking that you make a moral judgement here between right or wrong , just a simple choice:

CHEATING or NOT CHEATING

Feel free to give reasons for your decision, especially if you feel strongly about the issue.

As you describe it ... NOT cheating. Every person is entitled to have friends, outside of their marriage/relationship.

 

[ydahecnot]

IS ALL-CAPS YELLING?

 

[Oralexplorer]

If you are engaged in text exchanges with a person of your preferred sex, but are keeping that fact concealed from your spouse/partner/SO, are you cheating on them? The texts are simple, innocent, friendly exchanges, with no openly sexual content or undertones—nothing racy, saucy, or naughty. There is no pressing reason to hide the texting connection from your SO, yet you keep it that way.
I’m not asking that you make a moral judgement here between right or wrong , just a simple choice:

CHEATING or NOT CHEATING

Feel free to give reasons for your decision, especially if you feel strongly about the issue.

If you have to hide it, it's cheating. Just own it

 

[Jake0126]

Opposite rule.. If they were doing it to me how would i see it. Sometimes that helps clear the gray

 

[Andyandersonm]

I would consider it the beginning of cheating.
You don’t need anyone else’s opinion your own thoughts are already giving you the real answer.
When you start hiding simple things, even innocent ones, it shows you’re looking for something outside the ‘game’ you’re supposed to be playing.
It’s not much different from kids sneaking off to play new games they know they shouldn’t it might seem harmless at first, but deep down, everyone knows exactly what they’re doing.
Cheating doesn’t always start with bodies…
It usually starts with little secrets.

 

[SissyBrandi19]

"Cheating" is almost a construct...there's some definite behaviors that would split the room in half people taking sides. Here's an alternate way, maybe ponder its applicability/validity, to evaluate this behavior and it's very basic and simple: Would the "offended party"...consider it that? Or even more mildly - if mild is called for I don't know the actors - would the behavior, if discovered, erode trust and is that level of penalty multiplied by the likelihood of discovery - a fair exchange, enough that the satisfaction/fun is the greater side of the equation? I realize I'm kind of answering a different question, more the - is there value in continuing the behavior, Y/N?

 

[BiggDogg91]

If you are engaged in text exchanges with a person of your preferred sex, but are keeping that fact concealed from your spouse/partner/SO, are you cheating on them? The texts are simple, innocent, friendly exchanges, with no openly sexual content or undertones—nothing racy, saucy, or naughty. There is no pressing reason to hide the texting connection from your SO, yet you keep it that way.
I’m not asking that you make a moral judgement here between right or wrong , just a simple choice:

CHEATING or NOT CHEATING

Feel free to give reasons for your decision, especially if you feel strongly about the issue.

It's cheating. If you have to hide anything from the person you claim to love, that's cheating.

 

[NippleMuncher]

IMO, the situation as described is not cheating.

From the description it wouldn't matter what the interaction scenario was, the jealous partner would have a problem with the OP talking to virtually anyone outside of their relationship, even if he/she were sitting right there and was part of the conversation with the third party. A jealous partner is self-centered, and they are using their jealousy to manipulate their partner. A jealous partner has no right to control the friends of their partner without just cause.

Being a survivor of jealous and manipulative people, I can definitively say that NOT telling your partner about a friend isn't cheating, it is drama and bullshit avoidance. We do not know the OP's situation, conversations had, or the reassurances made in efforts to mitigate the jealousy, we only know what was expressed in the posts made here. Given the thought of a "secret" friend over yet another hours long argument from a manipulator, I'll advise on taking the secret friend every time!

Having said that, it will take a strong moral compass on the part of the OP to remain platonic with their secret friend to keep things on the straight and narrow. If things begin to progress past the point of platonicy, then it is time to end one of the relationships.

 

[Pad_Foot]

So?
She knows I have text relationships…
So
Not cheating ?
Ok

 

[OralAllOver]

Unless you are using your mobile phone as a dildo (I pray to god that it's not an iPad), NO

 

[MarilynMonroeFan]

I think the thread made me laugh a little, because, opinion she wants but no judgement lol

Well cheating, if you not tell him yes

 

[MarilynMonroeFan]

IS ALL-CAPS YELLING?

YES IT IS YELLING, BUT WE BOTH HEAR NO MORE GOOD?