Is something wrong with me?

[Kitkat103]

Hello Litsters

Been a while!

So I was seeing this guy I met at a Best Buy. We hung out, went to eat, went to events and everything. It was very nice.

So yesterday I decided that we should be intimate finally. Things were going well and it was getting hot. He lifted up my dress and was rubbing my pussy. I lifted my dress over my head and he schooched back on the bed to turn the light on. He then said:
" Come over here baby, daddy needs to see that cunny."

I literally froze. I was grossed out ,I can get over the daddy comment (which was awkward), I can even deal with cunt but not cunny. For some reason that word is an extreme turn off. The only guys that use that word are:

1. Older Guys that bag young girls online
2. A 1920s irish immigrant
3. Dudes that just don't get laid

I got dressed and left without saying anything. He has called me like 10 times and even came to my house as I was emptying the trash. But that word just makes me physically sick. I look at him and I get nauseated and my vagina shrivels up. I tried to call him but I was popping Nauzene tablets and thought it wasn't worth it since it was only 3 months.
Am I wrong? Should I really try to make it out with a guy that makes me physically sick?

 

[mulehead61]

Hello Litsters

Been a while!

So I was seeing this guy I met at a Best Buy. We hung out, went to eat, went to events and everything. It was very nice.

So yesterday I decided that we should be intimate finally. Things were going well and it was getting hot. He lifted up my dress and was rubbing my pussy. I lifted my dress over my head and he schooched back on the bed to turn the light on. He then said:
" Come over here baby, daddy needs to see that cunny."

I literally froze. I was grossed out ,I can get over the daddy comment (which was awkward), I can even deal with cunt but not cunny. For some reason that word is an extreme turn off. The only guys that use that word are:

1. Older Guys that bag young girls online
2. A 1920s irish immigrant
3. Dudes that just don't get laid

I got dressed and left without saying anything. He has called me like 10 times and even came to my house as I was emptying the trash. But that word just makes me physically sick. I look at him and I get nauseated and my vagina shrivels up. I tried to call him but I was popping Nauzene tablets and thought it wasn't worth it since it was only 3 months.
Am I wrong? Should I really try to make it out with a guy that makes me physically sick?

Wow...sorry to hear that.

I personally don't use those words and I can't believe the first time someone would.....

If it truly is making you that turned off, I don't see what the point is to try again now. But let him know why - he may rolls his eyes or he may really be sorry...but at least let him know.

Sorry that happened and good luck....

 

[fullservice65]

I love your description of the guys who use the word.

Myself? I never heard the word until I came to Lit. Really. I've heard/seen it more from women than men, though.

 

[heartoftexasgrl]

I feel that way about the word MILF. Just grosses me the fuck out, my motherhood having anything to do with wanting to fuck me. I know that most guys don't even think of it in that context, but I'm quick to tell them "don't ever say that word to me again."

If you're that turned off, then I don't see the point in going back. You sound pretty sure of yourself that even a sincere apology isn't going to get you past it.

Doesn't dating suck?

 

[newbiebabe]

It doesn't bother me personally. I would be more offended if he said "come to daddy".. the last thing I want to think of at that time, believe me!

If you like him and want to see the relationship continue, tell him... much better to be honest about it up front. If you don't really care about continuing..meh, let it go and move on.

 

[GimpyIntellect]

Major, major overreaction.

You actually liked this guy, took your time getting to know him, went out multiple times, finally decided to take it to the next level, and you ran out in the middle of your first sexual attempt because he said "cunny”?

You're not returning his calls because he said "cunny”?

That's lame.

Maybe he was nervous.

Either way, I think you're making a mountain out of a molehill.

 

[Kitkat103]

I love your description of the guys who use the word.

Myself? I never heard the word until I came to Lit. Really. I've heard/seen it more from women than men, though.

IDK for me it has been the total opposite.

 

[kimbalee]

I know my opinion is not going to count for much since you and he were the one in the relationship and what I say makes absolutely no difference at all... but I really think since you went out with him and were starting to like him well enough to get intimate, that he deserves some sort of explanation. Obviously, he doesn't know what the problem was and he would probably apologize and you might be able to get past it.

Admittedly, I cringe when I hear certain words as well... but if you are just getting to know each other, how is he supposed to know you don't want to hear that word in particular? It seems that you are willing to let the relationship fizzle though, so maybe you didn't like him enough to start with if you are not willing to even attempt to get past it.

 

[ga400us]

It's just a word. Word's only have the power that we give them.

If you give the word power, and it offends you, you should let him know. One strike and you're out seems pretty harsh. Now, I don't know the tone in which it was said, so it is possible the the tone in that context using the word added to your distaste. That word doesn't have the automatic label of being a gross or distasteful word, maybe he was trying to be funny and blew it big time.

IMHO

 

[respeito]

Hello, Kitkat103.

I"m sorry you had such a terrible experience. If I may offer my opinion: Obviously you connected with this gentleman. I think that by him using that word, it evoked something negative in your mind that turned you off completely. I can understand how you feel; there are words that I personally don't care to hear. But in this case, it was disturbing enough that you are sick, avoided him and want nothing to do with him. It might have been helpful to tell him, even via text, that the word he used turned you off...that may have kept him from calling incessantly and showing up unannounced (even though, I feel he did so because he wasn't left much choice.)

Now if you like him, and think that there may be a chance you can get past the forbidden name, maybe you can be honest with him: tell him that you don't like that word, tell him the words you do like and ask that he whisper those words in your ear so that your mind can process it in a positive way and you two can have an enjoyable experience.

If not, then at least let the man know why so that he can be at peace (and maybe leave you alone.)

Be honest with him, and be honest with yourself.

be golden.

 

[RedVixen]

any guy that uses that word obviously doesn't know how to talk to a woman... always amazes me that guys use stupid words like that and expect it to be not only acceptable but arousing... but i would be honest with him about it and see what happens after that.... hugggssss hon!!!!

 

[Noor]

people say stupid things at times, it doesn't mean their intentions are bad.

I am not sure its worth telling him why that freaked you out as it has been my experience that you just get judged on explanations, I suppose I would just explain that you prefer he not use words like "cunny" or "daddy."

Noor, who only has one Daddy, her birth father.

 

[Sensualdreamer]

I can respect it being a turn off. Guys don't fully understand how what they say to women during an intimate time can be likened to throwing water on a fire.

I would be honest w/ him. Unfortunately it's been such a long time he likely won't remember the incident even if you do.

 

[fullservice65]

IDK for me it has been the total opposite.

I don't think it's an over-reaction. However, I think it is worth a call to him to let him know what pushed your button the wrong way. Like someone earlier said, maybe he was just nervous.

Still, even if he says he was nervous (or whatever) and all you think of when you look at him is that word, then just tell him you can't do this relationship.

 

[BradBigBrain]

I feel the way way about the word, cleaning woman. I go absolutely batshit. And never say, "reinemachefrau" in front of me either.

 

[Edensgarden]

You could tell him your cunny didn't think it was funny...

All kidding aside, I think he does deserve some sort of explanation.

I can't imagine things going great with someone for a few months and then the first time we start getting intimate that person walks out on me without saying a word.

Ouch..

 

[lexieredefined]

I'm just going to echo what everyone else has said... you feel the way you feel about it. That's fine, but give the guy some kind of explanation. It's possible if you talk to him about it, you may be able to work past it. There was obviously something that sparked to get you to that point. But if you can't, then that's okay too. However don't just leave him hanging.

 

[Noor]

Everyone has stuff and you actually liked this guy up until then so you really should explain what happened.

Yes, I think one of the worse things a person can do to another is just walk away.

 

[lexieredefined]

Yes, I think one of the worse things a person can do to another is just walk away.

Amen.

 

[Kitkat103]

I met up with him and told him that I did not want to see him anymore. He then said:

"Go fuck off. Once you get over your daddy issues and insecurites you can call. I might respond."

 

[ZipBlockBloodie]

What does cunny mean exactly?

Also I don't buy this whole men don't know how to talk to women stuff. Do women know how to talk to men either?

 

[toguefun46]

Kit, I am sorry you had to have that happen to you. I have known, since I was quite young, certain things are just not used to call women, or especially to describe parts of their anatomy. It's one thing, to be requested, such as in roleplay, or dominance, but its a whole different story, if you are trying to get intimate with someone. Also the daddy comment almost falls into the same category. Sorry, if he is that insensitive now, he will never wake up. Say adios, and look in another direction.

 

[Pinktacokitty]

There is nothing wrong with you, if you do not feel comfortable with a guy do not sleep with him........You made the right move for you that is what counts.....That is all that counts......

The word cunt is vulgar and the word cunny is just stupid sounding. I would have told him to go find a girl that needed a daddy that wanted to be demeaned....Just my opinion.......

 

[lakesailer_mi]

OK...I wrote this really long nice thing about communication etc etc etc and then read the update where he told you fuck off and such...

He's a loser, you're better off. There are better men out there.


PS...nice to see you back!

 

[Kitkat103]

Thanks everyone!

When he said that I thought I totally dodged a bullet.