Is my wife bi or bicurious?

[aziegmann]

I would like to hear your opinions and get some advice on this topic. I’ve been married for seven years, and over the last two, although with long intervals between mentions, my wife has talked about her interest in a certain type of woman—a butchy one, to be more specific.

She says this started when a famous singer, who was openly bisexual (and married to a woman), appeared in the media. According to my wife, there was something about her that caught her attention. My wife has always been in relationships with men and has never had any involvement with women. However, in the case of the singer I mentioned, she says she would have been open to it but doesn’t really know why.

The first time she mentioned anything about this to me was when she asked what it would be like to be licked by another woman, even though she isn’t a lesbian. This happened right after a night of sex. More recently, just last week—again, right after we had sex—she brought it up out of nowhere, almost as if reminding me that she has this kind of interest. The difference this time was that she followed it up with a question: *"Could I be bi? And if I am, would that be okay with you?"*

I responded that only she could figure that out, and I asked where that would leave me in this situation. She reassured me that nothing would change in our marriage. I believe my response already signaled that I have no problem with it, but if that wasn’t clear to her, I wouldn’t mind being more explicit the next time we talk about it (and somehow, she always circles back to this topic).

The thing is, I don’t exactly think she is bisexual—I suspect she’s more bicurious, perhaps wanting to fantasize about it or even act on it to see if it’s something she might enjoy.

My question is: Should I bring this topic up the next time we have an intimate moment, or should I wait for her to mention it again? And if she ultimately concludes that she is indeed bisexual, what would be the best way for me to handle it? What would be the next steps for us as a couple?

I’d love to hear your experiences.

 

[Not Normal]

She's obviously having some thoughts on the subject. As we age, we are often more honest with ourselves, especially if we have a supportive environment. Sometimes one attraction hits a long hidden form of attraction. Maybe she is some form of queer, perhaps she is just seeking adventure. Maybe this has always been in her, but she's now understanding it.

I can't say if you should bring it up or not. But, as it comes up, your next step is to hear what she has to say. To support her, listen and help her work through this. As to how you move forward as a couple, that could mean a ton of different things. I'd suggest learning about ethi

 

[aziegmann]

I can't say if you should bring it up or not. But, as it comes up, your next step is to hear what she has to say. To support her, listen and help her work through this. As to how you move forward as a couple, that could mean a ton of different things. I'd suggest learning about ethi

Could you give more details about ethic? What could be done in this scenario? What are the options?

 

[Britva415]

Could you give more details about ethic? What could be done in this scenario? What are the options?

They meant “ethical non-monogamy,” I believe.

Also known as ENM.

The options are anything you and your wife agree to. You two are the only ones who can figure this out.

Just dare to talk about it. Maybe it won’t go anywhere, maybe it will. But just dare to ask what she would want, and, be free to express any boundaries of your own.

Do you trust her to have a grown-up conversation about this? She has brought it up many times, from what I gather. If you want to shut it down, then just keep on not acting like you take it seriously. If you don’t want to continue shutting it down, then show her you have been listening and paying attention, and have a talk about it with her instead of head-tripping to strangers on the internet.

I mean that in the most positive and optimistic way possible Trust her to just have a talk. She’ll show you what she’s interested in.

I’m speaking as a queer man married to a queer woman. We have established some agreements around ENM in the last couple of years. It’s going great.

Good luck!

 

[Not Normal]

Could you give more details about ethic? What could be done in this scenario? What are the options?

Britva is correct. I was referring to ethical non-monogamy. I don't know what happened to the rest of my reply.
Whatever works for you and your wife (and potential partners) is whatever you agree upon.

And beware, one of the biggest errors I've seen is that people make agreements, and then go against them and fuck everything up. Do what you say you're going to do, and DON'T do the things you say you aren't going to do.

They meant “ethical non-monogamy,” I believe.

Also known as ENM.

The options are anything you and your wife agree to. You two are the only ones who can figure this out.

Just dare to talk about it. Maybe it won’t go anywhere, maybe it will. But just dare to ask what she would want, and, be free to express any boundaries of your own.

Do you trust her to have a grown-up conversation about this? She has brought it up many times, from what I gather. If you want to shut it down, then just keep on not acting like you take it seriously. If you don’t want to continue shutting it down, then show her you have been listening and paying attention, and have a talk about it with her instead of head-tripping to strangers on the internet.

I mean that in the most positive and optimistic way possible Trust her to just have a talk. She’ll show you what she’s interested in.

I’m speaking as a queer man married to a queer woman. We have established some agreements around ENM in the last couple of years. It’s going great.

Good luck!

Thanks for picking that up, and for adding great information.

 

[MaturemanAJ]

I would like to hear your opinions and get some advice on this topic. I’ve been married for seven years, and over the last two, although with long intervals between mentions, my wife has talked about her interest in a certain type of woman—a butchy one, to be more specific.

She says this started when a famous singer, who was openly bisexual (and married to a woman), appeared in the media. According to my wife, there was something about her that caught her attention. My wife has always been in relationships with men and has never had any involvement with women. However, in the case of the singer I mentioned, she says she would have been open to it but doesn’t really know why.

The first time she mentioned anything about this to me was when she asked what it would be like to be licked by another woman, even though she isn’t a lesbian. This happened right after a night of sex. More recently, just last week—again, right after we had sex—she brought it up out of nowhere, almost as if reminding me that she has this kind of interest. The difference this time was that she followed it up with a question: *"Could I be bi? And if I am, would that be okay with you?"*

I responded that only she could figure that out, and I asked where that would leave me in this situation. She reassured me that nothing would change in our marriage. I believe my response already signaled that I have no problem with it, but if that wasn’t clear to her, I wouldn’t mind being more explicit the next time we talk about it (and somehow, she always circles back to this topic).

The thing is, I don’t exactly think she is bisexual—I suspect she’s more bicurious, perhaps wanting to fantasize about it or even act on it to see if it’s something she might enjoy.

My question is: Should I bring this topic up the next time we have an intimate moment, or should I wait for her to mention it again? And if she ultimately concludes that she is indeed bisexual, what would be the best way for me to handle it? What would be the next steps for us as a couple?

I’d love to hear your experiences.

I would like to hear your opinions and get some advice on this topic. I’ve been married for seven years, and over the last two, although with long intervals between mentions, my wife has talked about her interest in a certain type of woman—a butchy one, to be more specific.

She says this started when a famous singer, who was openly bisexual (and married to a woman), appeared in the media. According to my wife, there was something about her that caught her attention. My wife has always been in relationships with men and has never had any involvement with women. However, in the case of the singer I mentioned, she says she would have been open to it but doesn’t really know why.

The first time she mentioned anything about this to me was when she asked what it would be like to be licked by another woman, even though she isn’t a lesbian. This happened right after a night of sex. More recently, just last week—again, right after we had sex—she brought it up out of nowhere, almost as if reminding me that she has this kind of interest. The difference this time was that she followed it up with a question: *"Could I be bi? And if I am, would that be okay with you?"*

I responded that only she could figure that out, and I asked where that would leave me in this situation. She reassured me that nothing would change in our marriage. I believe my response already signaled that I have no problem with it, but if that wasn’t clear to her, I wouldn’t mind being more explicit the next time we talk about it (and somehow, she always circles back to this topic).

The thing is, I don’t exactly think she is bisexual—I suspect she’s more bicurious, perhaps wanting to fantasize about it or even act on it to see if it’s something she might enjoy.

My question is: Should I bring this topic up the next time we have an intimate moment, or should I wait for her to mention it again? And if she ultimately concludes that she is indeed bisexual, what would be the best way for me to handle it? What would be the next steps for us as a couple?

I’d love to hear your experiences.

I personally think that she has a lot more than a little interest and the older I get I am convinced that relationships would be better on a best friends basis instead of we are married and life is over in regards to our individualism.

You don't own your wife and she doesn't own you if she is interested enough she will explore this with or without your knowledge it all depends on you and how you handle it.

If she fins out that she loves sex with a woman and falls in love then that is her path in life. I would struggle with losing my wife no matter if it was a man or woman but we have been together over 43 years and if she wants to experience being with a woman then I would and have told her she hasmy blessing.
Once I said that she had to decide for herself what was most important to her.

She loves her bestie who is also married to a man. I told her I will give you all the time you want together, go on trips together, sleep together, shower together and love like you are a couple if you want, but I want the sane freedoms and that has held her back plus her besties marriage ashe definitely wouldn't agree to that and she also worries about our grown children and grandchildren.

I know she doesn't want to lose me but I really hope she allows herself to find this side of herself

 

[GoodnessO]

Interesting your wife raises the topic after intimacy with you. Specifically her asking you, "what's it like to be licked by a woman?" Is it possible she's hinting that you're not giving her very excellent oral? Women who receive oral from a woman will tell you, they're so much better at it than men.

 

[CuriousinPennsylvania]

Interesting your wife raises the topic after intimacy with you. Specifically her asking you, "what's it like to be licked by a woman?" Is it possible she's hinting that you're not giving her very excellent oral? Women who receive oral from a woman will tell you, they're so much better at it than men.

I think that I give excellent mouth on pussy oral, but I would probably agree that women give other women better oral. In my opinion, as it is in my case, guys are too focused on making the woman orgasm and, as I learned in my music class, may "rush to cadence". On the contrary, I believe that another woman would be slower and more focused on prolonging the pleasure.

 

[MichelleSwan]

I would like to hear your opinions and get some advice on this topic. I’ve been married for seven years, and over the last two, although with long intervals between mentions, my wife has talked about her interest in a certain type of woman—a butchy one, to be more specific.

She says this started when a famous singer, who was openly bisexual (and married to a woman), appeared in the media. According to my wife, there was something about her that caught her attention. My wife has always been in relationships with men and has never had any involvement with women. However, in the case of the singer I mentioned, she says she would have been open to it but doesn’t really know why.

The first time she mentioned anything about this to me was when she asked what it would be like to be licked by another woman, even though she isn’t a lesbian. This happened right after a night of sex. More recently, just last week—again, right after we had sex—she brought it up out of nowhere, almost as if reminding me that she has this kind of interest. The difference this time was that she followed it up with a question: *"Could I be bi? And if I am, would that be okay with you?"*

I responded that only she could figure that out, and I asked where that would leave me in this situation. She reassured me that nothing would change in our marriage. I believe my response already signaled that I have no problem with it, but if that wasn’t clear to her, I wouldn’t mind being more explicit the next time we talk about it (and somehow, she always circles back to this topic).

The thing is, I don’t exactly think she is bisexual—I suspect she’s more bicurious, perhaps wanting to fantasize about it or even act on it to see if it’s something she might enjoy.

My question is: Should I bring this topic up the next time we have an intimate moment, or should I wait for her to mention it again? And if she ultimately concludes that she is indeed bisexual, what would be the best way for me to handle it? What would be the next steps for us as a couple?

I’d love to hear your experiences.

Seems she's given you the opportunity to give her the go ahead , so yes mention it, let her know you approve.

 

[LauraLO]

I think that I give excellent mouth on pussy oral, but I would probably agree that women give other women better oral. In my opinion, as it is in my case, guys are too focused on making the woman orgasm and, as I learned in my music class, may "rush to cadence". On the contrary, I believe that another woman would be slower and more focused on prolonging the pleasure.

Amen!!!!! There may not be any scientific data but any women who has experienced another woman beyond just experimentation knows this to be the case and for exactly the reasons you laid out...we just care more because we know how we need it to be at that moment.
As to the original question, I think your wife is curious and if it just keeps coming up, strongly suggest she find that special friend and experience the moment. Think it takes a real confident and mature husband to go there so be that man.

 

[Handydan]

My wife brought up the subject long ago. She said she was curious. We started exploring swapping with other couples and she had the opportunity to explore with safe friends. Now she is definitely bi. I'm very supportive and have told her I'd be fine with her having a girlfriend. It could be exclusive to her or I'd be happy to be involved. She hasn't gone there yet, but if the right girl came along she'd be in.

 

[flameinsidesoul]

I would like to hear your opinions and get some advice on this topic. I’ve been married for seven years, and over the last two, although with long intervals between mentions, my wife has talked about her interest in a certain type of woman—a butchy one, to be more specific.

She says this started when a famous singer, who was openly bisexual (and married to a woman), appeared in the media. According to my wife, there was something about her that caught her attention. My wife has always been in relationships with men and has never had any involvement with women. However, in the case of the singer I mentioned, she says she would have been open to it but doesn’t really know why.

The first time she mentioned anything about this to me was when she asked what it would be like to be licked by another woman, even though she isn’t a lesbian. This happened right after a night of sex. More recently, just last week—again, right after we had sex—she brought it up out of nowhere, almost as if reminding me that she has this kind of interest. The difference this time was that she followed it up with a question: *"Could I be bi? And if I am, would that be okay with you?"*

I responded that only she could figure that out, and I asked where that would leave me in this situation. She reassured me that nothing would change in our marriage. I believe my response already signaled that I have no problem with it, but if that wasn’t clear to her, I wouldn’t mind being more explicit the next time we talk about it (and somehow, she always circles back to this topic).

The thing is, I don’t exactly think she is bisexual—I suspect she’s more bicurious, perhaps wanting to fantasize about it or even act on it to see if it’s something she might enjoy.

My question is: Should I bring this topic up the next time we have an intimate moment, or should I wait for her to mention it again? And if she ultimately concludes that she is indeed bisexual, what would be the best way for me to handle it? What would be the next steps for us as a couple?

I’d love to hear your experiences.

First off, I want to say how much I respect your approach—you’re clearly more interested in understanding than judging, which is the foundation of real intimacy.

It’s very possible your wife is indeed bicurious, and right now she’s in that gray, emotionally-charged place between fantasy and the desire to understand her deeper self. That she brings this up after sex is telling—those moments of vulnerability, post-orgasm, often bring out the truest and quietest cravings.

You asked whether to bring it up or wait. Here’s my take, Follow her pace, but don’t be silent. And Remember Keep your marriage the safe space for all of it.

 

[HumpDayHoratio]

Wife and I went through a little sexual renaissance a few yeas ago. We kind of threw a lot on the table (Poly, swapping, etc…) to see what was in play or not. She had never shown any interest in other women up till this point. The closest thing was admiring a woman’s boobs or body during a porn watching session, but nothing that set off alarms for me.

We were frequent music festival goers at the time and there was this one buxom gal who sort of flirted with her some. Real handsy, slapping her ass and hugs and playful banter. The wife was kind of oblivious so I mentioned it when we got home. She admitted then that it was a side of her sexuality she might like to explore. I relayed what I’d noticed and I could see the lightbulb coming on. She sort of smiled and let it go.

After returning from a festival that I didn’t attend, but the other gal did, I asked if anything had sort of transpired. Without missing a beat she just blurted out, “I like cock.”

And that was that.

Moral to the story? Might be worth going down that road, but don’t get your hopes up if you think it’s a passing phase.

 

[aziegmann]

Do you trust her to have a grown-up conversation about this? She has brought it up many times, from what I gather. If you want to shut it down, then just keep on not acting like you take it seriously. If you don’t want to continue shutting it down, then show her you have been listening and paying attention, and have a talk about it with her instead of head-tripping to strangers on the internet.

I agree with you and I understand that this is the next step to be taken. In fact, in the last three years she has mentioned, albeit sparsely, topics such as attraction to women and open relationships (in this case, always commenting on celebrities who have admitted to being in one).

It is something that intrigues and excites me at the same time. That is why I know that I should consider it as a normal topic of conversation between couples if I want to understand what she has in mind and what she wants.

I mean that in the most positive and optimistic way possible Trust her to just have a talk. She’ll show you what she’s interested in. I’m speaking as a queer man married to a queer woman. We have established some agreements around ENM in the last couple of years. It’s going great.

About these agreements with your wife, what did you both define? And how did it all start? Who made the first move and how did it start?

 

[aziegmann]

Interesting your wife raises the topic after intimacy with you. Specifically her asking you, "what's it like to be licked by a woman?" Is it possible she's hinting that you're not giving her very excellent oral? Women who receive oral from a woman will tell you, they're so much better at it than men.

No. That's out of the question, because one of the things she likes the most during foreplay is a good oral sex session. When she said that (about other woman), it was in a tone of curiosity, but she emphasized that she wouldn't give up, for example, the moment of penetration, referring to me.

 

[Britva415]

I should consider it as a normal topic of conversation between couples

There's only one couple which matters. Why compare yourselves to anyone else? I genuinely don't see why it matters whether this is "a normal topic of conversation between couples."

Some will talk about it, some won't.

You already are. It's just that you have more to say about it.

About these agreements with your wife, what did you both define? And how did it all start? Who made the first move and how did it start?

Let me link to something I wrote a while back.

https://forum.literotica.com/thread...rried-partnered-couple.1628052/post-100561582

 

[aziegmann]

My wife brought up the subject long ago. She said she was curious. We started exploring swapping with other couples and she had the opportunity to explore with safe friends. Now she is definitely bi. I'm very supportive and have told her I'd be fine with her having a girlfriend. It could be exclusive to her or I'd be happy to be involved. She hasn't gone there yet, but if the right girl came along she'd be in.

But going from simple curiosity to swapping is a huge step. It's not something I'm considering and we've never talked about it, but just out of curiosity: How did you get to this stage? Whose idea was it? Did everything work out the first time?

 

[firefox27eros]

No. That's out of the question, because one of the things she likes the most during foreplay is a good oral sex session. When she said that (about other woman), it was in a tone of curiosity, but she emphasized that she wouldn't give up, for example, the moment of penetration, referring to me.

@aziegmann What about to share your wife with a bisexual lady so you both of them will work on to pleasure your wife?

 

[aziegmann]

@aziegmann What about to share your wife with a bisexual lady so you both of them will work on to pleasure your wife?

If it is something that she want to do someday, with the focus 100% on her, I’m open for it.

 

[firefox27eros]

If it is something that she want to do someday, with the focus 100% on her, I’m open for it.

@aziegmann you are a good man!
If she wants to prove that it could be add some spices to your sex life or she would like to try it but with you and she can feel herself in a supportive and honest environment, your support can mean a lot for her.
In your case there is no competition with another woman but you also can learn and see what can another woman do for your wife even when you both of them pleasure her and she can enjoy the benefits.
If you are lucky - because your wife was so satisfied and she would like to reciprocating your guest's favour - maybe you can pleasure the lady as well.
You just need to find the right person! Good luck for it!

 

[firefox27eros]

If it is something that she want to do someday, with the focus 100% on her, I’m open for it.

Like this:
https://www.redgifs.com/watch/baresveltebluemorphobutterfly

 

[luap50]

Most of women generally deals well with the bisexuality subject. Better than men. It's normal two women caress, kiss, each other. Sleep in the same room without cause scandal.

 

[Seeking4wife04]

I would like to hear your opinions and get some advice on this topic. I’ve been married for seven years, and over the last two, although with long intervals between mentions, my wife has talked about her interest in a certain type of woman—a butchy one, to be more specific.

She says this started when a famous singer, who was openly bisexual (and married to a woman), appeared in the media. According to my wife, there was something about her that caught her attention. My wife has always been in relationships with men and has never had any involvement with women. However, in the case of the singer I mentioned, she says she would have been open to it but doesn’t really know why.

The first time she mentioned anything about this to me was when she asked what it would be like to be licked by another woman, even though she isn’t a lesbian. This happened right after a night of sex. More recently, just last week—again, right after we had sex—she brought it up out of nowhere, almost as if reminding me that she has this kind of interest. The difference this time was that she followed it up with a question: *"Could I be bi? And if I am, would that be okay with you?"*

I responded that only she could figure that out, and I asked where that would leave me in this situation. She reassured me that nothing would change in our marriage. I believe my response already signaled that I have no problem with it, but if that wasn’t clear to her, I wouldn’t mind being more explicit the next time we talk about it (and somehow, she always circles back to this topic).

The thing is, I don’t exactly think she is bisexual—I suspect she’s more bicurious, perhaps wanting to fantasize about it or even act on it to see if it’s something she might enjoy.

My question is: Should I bring this topic up the next time we have an intimate moment, or should I wait for her to mention it again? And if she ultimately concludes that she is indeed bisexual, what would be the best way for me to handle it? What would be the next steps for us as a couple?

I’d love to hear your experiences.

 

[Seeking4wife04]

That is exactly what my wife does. She mostly likes to watch lesbian porn now as we have sex.

 

[ElvieG]

I responded that only she could figure that out, and I asked where that would leave me in this situation. She reassured me that nothing would change in our marriage. I believe my response already signaled that I have no problem with it, but if that wasn’t clear to her, I wouldn’t mind being more explicit the next time we talk about it (and somehow, she always circles back to this topi

When I was in my mid-teens I had several crushes on other women or girls my own age. Even when there was some mutual attraction between us none of these led to us having sex.

Well into my twenties, when I was dating men, I still had daydreams about sex with women. After I married, I would talk to my husband about my desires and he encouraged me to act on them. The two of us would fantasise about women we thought might play with me/us, but other than a single rather tacky threesome we had on vacation, nothing else happened.

I was 41 and no longer seriously considering sex with other women when, out of nowhere, a mutual attraction developed between me and my oldest, closest friend. We were both shocked at first, but once you've recognised those same feelings in the other person, it would be dumb not to enjoy them fully