Is it within a Dom/me's right to say no when it's your body?

[Cirrus]

I have a friend in a D/s relationship (no, folks, this isn't just a way of saying this is going on with me without telling you...if it were me, I'd say so ) who wants to get her nipples pierced. Her Dom said flat out NO!! He finds them unattractive and trashy, and doesn't want to refrain from nipple play during the healing time. She objects...though not to him...yet.

I feel torn on this one. A sub has a right to say what DOESN'T happen to their bodies, ie, setting limits. Why don't they have a right to say what DOES happen? Piercings are removable, leaving only a minor scar in their wake...it's not permanent like a tattoo. If SHE wants them, it's her body and her right to say yes, just as she has the right to say no to anything else.

OTOH, though, even in a relationship that is not D/s, one makes concessions for each other. It won't cause her any harm not to get the piercings. In nilla relationships I've been in, I've compromised on certain things. One guy didn't like that I shave my pussy...so I quit. Didn't kill me to do it, even though *I* would rather shave, he liked it so much it was worth it. I loved one guy but LOATHED his haircut...so he changed it. Especially in a D/s relationship though, the submissive allows the dominant to "dictate" if you will, certain aspects of the relationship. So I don't think it's unreasonable either, for him to forbid her to have the piercings done.

So...where do you lie on this one?

 

[Parklife]

It would seem to me that she follows the instructions of her dom. The sub sets limits but also abides by the word of her/his dom. There are no limits being pushed, only a desire supressed. I think that's just the way the ball bounces on this one...

Park~

 

[UCE]

There's no general rules that apply to all for this: it depends on the nature of the specific power relationship established between the two individuals. In some relationships, your body is literally owned, it is your master's and what he says about it, goes. Other relationships don't exersise that much control and are looser, so the sub's body is her own. Do you know what kind of relationship your friend has or what "rules" she is under? Is she actually owned lock, stock, and barrel? Is it a trial relationship where they're testing out the bdsm to see if they're compatible living that way?

I agree that in any relationship where things aren't totally clearcut and one person still retains some power, courtesy, concern for the feelings of one's lover, communicating about the importance of the action and really hearing your partner's view on this and gagueing how strong it is compared with your own desires, and compromise are good skills for both individuals to practice.

Ride 'em Cowboy! pic coming right up!

 

[MissTaken]

WEll, said, UCE


There is no standard right or wrong response.

IT depends on what they have negotiated, agreed upon and the dynamics of their relationship.

I will be interested to hear how this turns out.

 

[Rubyfruit]

D/s issues aside, why would anybody want to alter their body in a way that their lover finds unattractive?

 

[SexyChele]

D/s issues aside, why would anybody want to alter their body in a way that their lover finds unattractive?

Ditto.....

 

[~Dream~]

I have a friend in a D/s relationship (no, folks, this isn't just a way of saying this is going on with me without telling you...if it were me, I'd say so ) who wants to get her nipples pierced. Her Dom said flat out NO!! He finds them unattractive and trashy, and doesn't want to refrain from nipple play during the healing time. She objects...though not to him...yet.

I feel torn on this one. A sub has a right to say what DOESN'T happen to their bodies, ie, setting limits. Why don't they have a right to say what DOES happen? Piercings are removable, leaving only a minor scar in their wake...it's not permanent like a tattoo. If SHE wants them, it's her body and her right to say yes, just as she has the right to say no to anything else.

OTOH, though, even in a relationship that is not D/s, one makes concessions for each other. It won't cause her any harm not to get the piercings. In nilla relationships I've been in, I've compromised on certain things. One guy didn't like that I shave my pussy...so I quit. Didn't kill me to do it, even though *I* would rather shave, he liked it so much it was worth it. I loved one guy but LOATHED his haircut...so he changed it. Especially in a D/s relationship though, the submissive allows the dominant to "dictate" if you will, certain aspects of the relationship. So I don't think it's unreasonable either, for him to forbid her to have the piercings done.

So...where do you lie on this one?

________________

First of all ,as Artful's slave .I AM owned ,lock,stock and barrel as He says ,I KNOW this..My body now BELONGS to Him in the sense of it is to be used as He sees fit,for His pleasure..
However since our LTR is currently in LDR mode ,I still have alot of control over what goes on with my body ,generally we are in agreement anyways,He doesnt like piercings (prefers "natural beauty) ,so do I,He doesnt like shaved pussy so mine remains bushy lol .but neat ..I prefer it also ,He Loves the size of my breasts which I have ALWAYS been self-conscious about till Master came along and made ALL of me feel totally accepted... "what a feeling"!!

Keeping with the thread topic tho,as I see it as a matter of trust,I feel that if Anything MASTER ASKED of my body was too strenuous,or just something that I would NOT feel "comfortable" with at all I feel He would allow me to voice this to HIM and I would trust that He would make the appropriate decision regarding it as I KNOW He respects me..