Is it true?

[sba]

When ever i am not in a mood for sex and say no to repeated requests by my boyfriend to either have sex or give him an oral ,he always cries that he is having pains from down there due to my ignorance!
Is this true? Or is it just another way of getting women to feel sorry into giving a half hour blow job?

 

[InMyPrime]

When ever i am not in a mood for sex and say no to repeated requests by my boyfriend to either have sex or give him an oral ,he always cries that he is having pains from down there due to my ignorance!
Is this true? Or is it just another way of getting women to feel sorry into giving a half hour blow job?

He sounds kind of mean - if you say no - you say no. Just throw him a bottle of lotion and tell him he can take care of it himself - its a small job

 

[M's girl]

I'm not a man. But the short answer is that it's not true and he needs to grow up.

The longer version is that there can be some build up that he feels he needs release from. I assume he has two hands; one on the left and one on the right. If it "hurts" so much ( ) you remember him about those "handy" assets.

Your not being in the mood and being ignorant are two different things. If he tries to make you believe they are the same, then he's an idiot.

 

[Weird Harold]

...he always cries that he is having pains from down there due to my ignorance!
Is this true? ...

Blue Balls are not entirely a myth, but they're not fatal, or even debilitating; InMyPrime has the right idea -- it's his problem and he can take care of it himself.

 

[sba]

But i feel so bad after wards and will always end up doing it for him.
The problem is that he always wants it,it is not an on/off thing,even after we have had sex,if it was during day time,then i can be sure that when in bed at night,his hand will go under my head asking me to go down on him.
I told him last night to get himself another girl since his sex drive is much higher than me,eventhough he is much older than me.

 

[tryptamine]

It's complete crap.

Men do not feel pain if they don't have sex when they want to. He is making it up to get you to give him a blow job.

You should dump this arsehole. You sound a bit naive and if he is a lot older than you it sounds to me like he is using you.

He is lieing to you to make you have sex with him. You should get rid of him.

 

[Keiron99]

To be honest... as a man.. I can confirm it is someway true. But this is not removing the fact he's rude with you.

When I first had a GF I suffered for that pain a lot, but I never forced her... did'nt even tell her. I respected her decision to wait some more weeks before sex (she was a virgin) and I did'nt want to appear "begging".

This is the real problem. Maybe he really have this pain, but he's using it as a weapon. And this is plain wrong.


EDIT: Just read your last post... nothing really to add... you only need to do what YOU want to do. (yeah.. I know I'm talking against my "category" interests hehe)

 

[Keiron99]

It's complete crap.

Men do not feel pain if they don't have sex when they want to. He is making it up to get you to give him a blow job.

You should dump this arsehole. You sound a bit naive and if he is a lot older than you it sounds to me like he is using you.

He is lieing to you to make you have sex with him. You should get rid of him.

Are you a man or a woman to say that with such a confidence?

Men don't feel pain if they have no sex, but only if they are prepared for that and not finishing. Of course it is not happening with a casual erection, but in a situation of heavy excitement the body is preparing someway, moving fluids.. etc... I don't want to appear as a medic, but physiology of man is not so simple as most people think.

 

[tryptamine]

Pfft, are you serious?

You have felt actual pain just from being really horny?

We're not talking about blue balls here. Blue balls is when you have an erection for so long that it starts to hurt the blood vessels. I don't think she's talking about this.

I have never in my whole life felt pain in my balls or anywhere else just because I was really horny.

 

[Jailhouse]

When ever i am not in a mood for sex and say no to repeated requests by my boyfriend to either have sex or give him an oral ,he always cries that he is having pains from down there due to my ignorance!
Is this true? Or is it just another way of getting women to feel sorry into giving a half hour blow job?

Just to address the first part: Yes, it's true... but it's only true if the man is excited for a long period of time. I mean *really* excited. Like on-the-edge-of-cumming-in-their-pants excited. This is why teenage boys often complain of it; because they get excited easier and they're more likely to make out for an hour without getting to cum after. Older men generally don't because they won't usually make out for an hour without having sex, and also don't get quite as excited.

It does hurt, though. I'll tell you that much. I remember it only too well to write it off as a myth.

Two more things I want to add, however (and this has been covered to some extent already). The first thing is that he can masturbate if he wants to and it takes the pain away... and if he's excited enough to feel that "blue balls" pain, then he's only got a 2 or 3 minute job ahead of him, tops.

The more important thing is that everyone should be free to say no to having sex when they don't feel like it without having to justify or otherwise pay for it. Yeah, the Blue Balls thing is true... but almost without exception that's used as a way to manipulate a woman into doing something she doesn't want to. "If you don't make me cum, I'll be in pain and it'll be your fault" is emotional manipulation. It's head games. To be honest, it's not what a loving, mature person does. An adult who cares about you will respect the fact you don't want to have sex, even if he's got a tent spike through his scrotum.

You should take this as a very real, very big "Red Flag" about how the two of you interact emotionally.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

He's definitely being manipulative and I'm sure he's more than well aware that the chances of finding a partner prepared to service him twice a day are pretty remote.

Is your actual lovemaking romantic and a slower paced, sensual bonding experience for you both? If it's always a case of you 'giving in' and him hopping on board for a quick fuck before you change your mind (I'm guessing here and I'm perfectly happy to be wrong) I would be concerned about your relationship and sexlife as regards the future.

Too much sex can actually force the romance from a relationship because it ceases to be special. If he is constantly demanding sex from you, without much thought for taking the time to make it special, I would sit him down and remind him of this.

 

[silverwhisper]

sba, he's a manipulative, selfish asshole. tell him to fuck himself. :>

ed

 

[TheCurious]

When ever i am not in a mood for sex and say no to repeated requests by my boyfriend to either have sex or give him an oral ,he always cries that he is having pains from down there due to my ignorance!
Is this true? Or is it just another way of getting women to feel sorry into giving a half hour blow job?

No it isn't true.

And this answer from a guy most would define has having a high sex drive. I think I've only gone more than 24 hours without having an orgasm maybe a handful of times since I was 12.

If a guy gets stimulated for awhile -then- stops... it -can- hurt. I've had that happen before. I certainly tested the limits of how long and how much beating off one can do during my teen years.

But just claiming that his shit hurts because you don't give it up... thats a lame schoolboy excuse that immature guys use on girls who don't know better.

 

[M's girl]

sba, he's a manipulative, selfish asshole. tell him to fuck himself. :>

ed

Haha SW, go smack 'm!

On a more serious note..... yeah.... tell him you understand and sympathize. Tell him it probably hurts similar to that knot you have in your stomach every time he pulls that bullshit and tries to manipulate you into his wants and needs only, instead of showing you how much he loves and respects you.

 

[PhilGarlic]

As a guy I have never been in pain due to an erection.
I have done/ said anything to make my wife give it up on occasions, she is well aware that I would lie to get a bit, (& sometimes it becomes a game & part of fourplay) in the end she says yes or no.
Over the years I have found the best way into her knickers is via the brain, it's no good being an arsehole all day then expecting some that night. If you want sex that night start the seduction in the morning.
The more relaxed I am about sex the more she gives out when I'm desperate she knows.
The most important thing is not to be manipulated and most men will if given the chance.

 

[christian1971]

Your b/f sounds a little immature if you ask me. When your not in the mood then sex is not fun. Sex need to be enjoyed by both, and not just by the one person that's what make's a relationship. And that is what makes a relationship closer and feel complete.

We men are always in the mood for sex so we will never turn away sex, the guy has to understand that sometimes just sitting there next to you or the one he or she loves can be just as special.

Let me ask you this does he go down on you? Or is it just a one way street? Sometimes No is NO and he will just have to take it as that, with no if's and's or but's.

 

[sba]

Thanks guys and gals! I am still trying to find a way to get him to go away,what i mean is for him to end the relationship by finding another girl,since i can not take this constant services for him any more.
One guy hit the nail bang on the head, where he said"he is an arse hole".
I can not end this relationship on my own,since he is too clever and will bring me around and still get a blow job after wards.
I hate myself for not being able to take charge.
When he is away for long periods,i find the house(my own house) a pleasure to live in,but since last week where he came back,it feels like a prison.
How will they give a girl up? what if i bite it? or use my nail on it to hurt?

 

[Jailhouse]

Thanks guys and gals! I am still trying to find a way to get him to go away,what i mean is for him to end the relationship by finding another girl,since i can not take this constant services for him any more.
One guy hit the nail bang on the head, where he said"he is an arse hole".
I can not end this relationship on my own,since he is too clever and will bring me around and still get a blow job after wards.
I hate myself for not being able to take charge.
When he is away for long periods,i find the house(my own house) a pleasure to live in,but since last week where he came back,it feels like a prison.
How will they give a girl up? what if i bite it? or use my nail on it to hurt?

I'm gonna be really blunt about this, and I hope you give what I say a little thought:

The more you talk, the more your relationship sounds like it's mentally abusive. If you're constantly pressured to do things you don't want, but you don't think you can leave him because he'll manipulate you into staying, that's psychological abuse.

There are people you can call to help you get out of there. Give it some thought.

 

[christian1971]

You need to be strong!

You yourself need to be strong and do what you need to do! If you want to break off the relationship. You don't want him to break it off because if it happened with him it mite happen with the next B/F and that is not the right way to live your life or relationships as the weaker person. Like I said before a relationship is to be equal to persons at the same level.

So if your not happy in what you have now and your sure your ready then you need to do what's in your heart and mind. Just tell the guy and if he does act like an immature person and asks for a favor tell him to do it himself or find someone else because your serious and your not willing to give yourself like that.

BE STRONG.

 

[silverwhisper]

sba: get him out of your home. don't allow him in. if he has a key, change the locks: now. if he knows where the spare is, remove it.

that's first.

second: dump him. tell him you're done w/ his selfish, self-involved arrogant bullshit ass. be firm. have a very big friend handy if he becomes a problem.

if he has stuff in his home, it can go out the window. or if you're feeling nice, in a box or two.

ed

 

[sba]

When i read your replies,i find comfort and strength thanks.
But i know myself,i could not change locks or anything like that,if i do, i need to run away for a few weeks,then to come back to a wrecked house!
I have been thinking of selling my house and in the hunt for the next house,make sure he is not around so if i play my cards right i could simply vanish!
It is still on a drawing board,but will do it after reading all your kind replies!
Thanks!
P.s i have no big friends,only a family member who will no doubt want things in return too.

 

[silverwhisper]

sba: why are you powerless to resist him? is his name on the title/deed? no? then he has no right. if he continues his bullshit, call the police on him and fill out a complaint. if he becomes violent, call them and now that you've filed a complaint you can possibly get a restraining order.

if you want the insanity to end, you have to do something different.

ed

 

[sba]

No he is not on the mortgage or the deeds,but what will the feds think?
Officer! my complaint is that he puts his hand behind my neck to go down on him!
He is not physical! if you get what i mean! infact he has never hit me,but i know he could if he could see the end comming!
Mental torture is not something you could talk to a cop! is it?

 

[Jailhouse]

No he is not on the mortgage or the deeds,but what will the feds think?
Officer! my complaint is that he puts his hand behind my neck to go down on him!
He is not physical! if you get what i mean! infact he has never hit me,but i know he could if he could see the end comming!
Mental torture is not something you could talk to a cop! is it?

No, but maybe a lawyer...

 

[silverwhisper]

that isn't what i'm saying.

what i'm saying: remove the keys, change the locks, get the spare key. when he comes a-knocking, you aren't there, as far as he's concerned. if he becomes loud/belligerent, call the cops for disturbing the peace/harrassment.

why are you asking about feds?

ed