Is it normal....

[Whitebeer]

Not to be bothered whether you have sex or not?

I am currently having sex perhaps 4 times a week (only started having it that much when I got together with this girl)

I only see her roughly twice a week, but we make the most of it in that time

The thing is, I'm not really bothered if I have sex or not with her. I don't think it's that the sex is boring (I had trouble ejaculating during sex before she came alone) so I'm coming ever time I'm with her. I normally let her make the move for sex and just follow her lead.

I'm 19 and she's older, she already told me not to fall in love with her (could it be that that's making me feel this way? ) I'm not saying I have no urges, I do think about sex a lot (so in that sense, I have a high sex drive) but it's just sometimes I'd sooner have a wank then have sex!

I'm trying to cope as best I can by not thinking about her, but I think you build up bonds with people when you keep having sex with them.

*I'm not on any drugs, non do I take any medication*

Any input or similar experiences would be greatly appreciated

P.s, this is my first thread, so go easy please.

 

[BlueElf]

Hiya, Whitebeer!

I think that it's okay to not be thinking about sex 24-7. Sadly, there is a huge stereotype that when a guy is with a gal (and without lol) all he should be thinking about is "when are we going to have sex? when are we going to have sex?"

It does sound like, as you mentioned, that you are concerned about her lack of commitment to any sort of relationship other than sexual. It's okay to want more - and if so, you may want to talk this over with her.

I'm sure the others here will have some groovy advice as well. Good luck, man!

BlueElf

 

[Guest]

hmmmmm

Are you wishing to seek a relationship with this girl? Are you wanting it to be more than what she wishes ?

 

[Different Guy]

When I got with my girl I was a virgin and I said, sex isn't important to me, trying to throw away the typical guy image. She'd done it a few times before. We have had sex once and now usually just do the foreplay. I find myself getting very turned on for sex but it's more foreplay with me and I prefer the intimate feeling of just being inside her, when we're playing about in foreplay.

Sex isn't a major thing with me, I'm only 19 so my view might change but my gf is not really bothered about it, neither am I to be honest. I'm not a nerd or a geek. She's insanely hot and I'm the typical "skater boy" nicely stolen thank you Avril Lavigne the singer... So it's not as tho we're geeky or weird...

I dunno, I was thinking about posting a topic on it before. I do want more sex and foreplay but it doesn't matter if I get it not. What's up with that...?

 

[deliciously_naughty]

When I got with my girl I was a virgin and I said, sex isn't important to me, trying to throw away the typical guy image. S
...I'm not a nerd or a geek.

First of all, most geeks are totally into sex and have incredibly high sex drives. I'm speaking from many many many experiences...don't dis the geeks!

Here's the thing...I think that sexual desire is also linked to other things that are going on in life. I was having a ton of sex with my boyfriend when we first got together, but we've both been super stressed lately and we havent' had much sex lately. I do think that exterior stuff has a big effect on your sexual desire.

As to the whole I'd rather beat off than have sex thing. Not to sound mean...but maybe you'd rather just get off then have to worry about someone elses pleasure. And there's nothing wrong with it.

Have you asked her opinion on it?

 

[dollface007]

Could it be that you are satisfied with the relationship??? I'm just trying to figure out where you're coming from here. I mean, sex doesn't always have to be an "issue"....especially if you're content with what you've got. Let me know if i'm way off base here.

 

[Whitebeer]

Re: hmmmmm

Thanks for all your replies & suggestion! (I'm feeling bit better now and my moods a little happier )

Originally posted by MistressRain
Are you wishing to seek a relationship with this girl? Are you wanting it to be more than what she wishes ?

To be honest I'm not sure. Her behaviour confuses me sometimes!

I don't think she leads me on, but she makes me unsure on things regarding our relationship (if I could call it that) and I find it hard to talk to her about anything other than sex! (Err, It is normally me starting off with all the sexual innuendoes)

Yes, I must add I am under a lot of stress at the moment as well because of my job!

Originally posted by deliciously_naughtyAs to the whole I'd rather beat off than have sex thing. Not to sound mean...but maybe you'd rather just get off then have to worry about someone elses pleasure. And there's nothing wrong with it.

Yeah I do think that's kinda right, but I am not normally a selfish lover, honest!. (She's taught me how she likes to be licked out and hints/ask me to do it to her a lot which I don't mind doing! )

Originally posted by dollface007Could it be that you are satisfied with the relationship???

I don't think I am. Satisfied sexually perhaps, Although I do wank every night (it's not the same as sex tho, there is no effort involved really and as someone else has said, It's not having to worry about the other persons needs being met)

I think I'm ready for commitment and trying my hand at a proper relationship now. But don't know how to go about it!? (Could it really work with a 19 & 27 yr old?) She most likely against it but I don't know why she see me?

 

[Different Guy]

With me it's a case of absolute respect for my girlfriend. Yeah I'd prefer it if she was jumping on me and trying to get in my pants but she's not like that. I was like that with her cos she is really beautiful and way, way hot. But she just doesn't seem to get horny.

Our relationship is perfect though. We're so in love and have been for over year now and I'm only 19 she's 17. We are so into each other emotionally it's crazy. We care about one another so much.

I'm always horny and will go home on a night and get myself off. I think that if I couldn't I would have a problem in wanting sexual actions but I guess I can deal with it on my own. I love what we have and I wouldn't change it for the world, so sex isn't important.

 

[deliciously_naughty]

Stress does have an inhibiting effect on sexual desire. Could be that, easily.

 

[Different Guy]

Oh no I'm not stressed and I'm frequently horny and gagging for it. I just don't mind whether I get it or not

 

[Whitebeer]

Stress does have an inhibiting effect on sexual desire. Could be that, easily.

Aye, I'm putting it down to stress as well! (All I need know now is how do I combat stress, when my jobs so hectic!?) don't fancy leaving just yet!

But Looking at her (my um ... fuck buddy) today, there's no way i wouldn't want sex with her. She beautiful & sexy! I should be getting some tomorrow (If I don't drink too much at the office party!) so we'll see how things go.

I'll keep you guys updated, and thanks again for all your help .

 

[Psia]

Hi,
4 times a week isn't low at all. It's above average for people your age (believe it or not). You mentioned that you have a high sex drive in general, it's possible that if you are masturbating a lot that this is curbing some of your desire to be with her.
Whatever the case, it sounds like you're normal and shouldn't worry. Enjoy sex when you have it, and it's all good!
Psia