is is weird to get into bed and not have sex right away??
- Thread starter luvpats4unme
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Tx girl
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Ohhhhh Cuddly! I do definatly need a masseuse!! That sounds like a little slice of heaven! What can i say im a softy for a good ol' back rubbing! 
Luvpats, you can NOT let the performance and expectation issue make you feel as if you have to prove yourself to any woman! And if one says that then go running! Besides that person has no idea of what your capable of. It may just be the best learning experience in her life! Getting to know one anothers body is wonderful! And i agree.. practice practice practice. Besides more practices means more touches, more carrasses and eventually when the time is right more love making. *S* besides you can always use that as an excuse. "Honey you wanna practice with me?!!" Ending with that sly but cute and charming smile. Would definatly make me melt!
Btw you wanted to know what was wrong with the email you recieved from this lady? I'll tell you, its called she's self centered. As long as she's happy then to hell with you. Not a good thing to have any level of relationship on. Spanking fetishes can be sexy to ya know!
Luvpats, you can NOT let the performance and expectation issue make you feel as if you have to prove yourself to any woman! And if one says that then go running! Besides that person has no idea of what your capable of. It may just be the best learning experience in her life! Getting to know one anothers body is wonderful! And i agree.. practice practice practice. Besides more practices means more touches, more carrasses and eventually when the time is right more love making. *S* besides you can always use that as an excuse. "Honey you wanna practice with me?!!" Ending with that sly but cute and charming smile. Would definatly make me melt!
Btw you wanted to know what was wrong with the email you recieved from this lady? I'll tell you, its called she's self centered. As long as she's happy then to hell with you. Not a good thing to have any level of relationship on. Spanking fetishes can be sexy to ya know!
cuddlybear1970
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LOL, you know, I got out my stuff, I have some apricot chamomile massage lotion, some sandlewood oil, several soft gloves.....
Although my favorite thing is light finger touches, light fingers on the back of your thighs, along you spine, gentle neck massages, right at the base of you head, where the tension sits, until it is gone, and long slow kisses down your back....... and foot massages I love massaging feet
and since I have long hair down to the middle of my back, I love playing with hair as well
Although my favorite thing is light finger touches, light fingers on the back of your thighs, along you spine, gentle neck massages, right at the base of you head, where the tension sits, until it is gone, and long slow kisses down your back....... and foot massages I love massaging feet
and since I have long hair down to the middle of my back, I love playing with hair as well
lookmeover
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I heartily agree ...
that intercourse is most appropriately enjoyed as the final course of a gourmet meal. Lengthy, delicious foreplay is both respectful of your partner and a fitting way to stoke passion's flames until they consume the both of you.
I'm pretty competitive when it comes to career and sports, but when making love I am happiest when I finish second. 
that intercourse is most appropriately enjoyed as the final course of a gourmet meal. Lengthy, delicious foreplay is both respectful of your partner and a fitting way to stoke passion's flames until they consume the both of you.
I'm pretty competitive when it comes to career and sports, but when making love I am happiest when I finish second.
Tx girl
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You are hired Cuddlybear!!! Like i said im a sucker for nice long rub downs! Oh and nice good smelling ones too! The apricot would smell soooooooooo good! And man o man foot rubs?!!!! WOWZERS! Hot damn! *G* 
I do however love my shoulders and lower back to be rubbed nice and firm! Nothing better so nice and relaxing!! woooooooowzerrrrrrs! A A A A plus in my book!
Lookmeover good for you!!!! Yet another man who knows what he wants and likes. Guys im so impressed with you all!
I do however love my shoulders and lower back to be rubbed nice and firm! Nothing better so nice and relaxing!! woooooooowzerrrrrrs! A A A A plus in my book!Lookmeover good for you!!!! Yet another man who knows what he wants and likes. Guys im so impressed with you all!
luvpats4unme
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another thought
There is a post on the Literotica Personals in which the individual asks if men think it's ok if a woman uses them for sex. I hope that those who responded that they didn't mind are kidding because anyone with a heart and soul would mind. Women hate being used for sex so why wouldn't a man's feelings be any different?? I mean if a man needs to "get off" he can do that on his own (and so can the woman)but there is alot more to intimacy than just the "end result" (getting there is fun too!!). To me there is the closeness, emotional attachment, mutual respect and feelings. I have a very high sex drive and have sex-for-one daily (sometimes twice a day) and yes I do miss the closeness but would rather be by myself than be used or be with someone who is not into me as a person and respects and appreciates me for who I am and what I am. Do I miss not being with someone who shares my interests and feelings?? Of course I do however
I don't miss being used which would be the alternative I suppose and for me it is not a very appealing option.
There is a post on the Literotica Personals in which the individual asks if men think it's ok if a woman uses them for sex. I hope that those who responded that they didn't mind are kidding because anyone with a heart and soul would mind. Women hate being used for sex so why wouldn't a man's feelings be any different?? I mean if a man needs to "get off" he can do that on his own (and so can the woman)but there is alot more to intimacy than just the "end result" (getting there is fun too!!). To me there is the closeness, emotional attachment, mutual respect and feelings. I have a very high sex drive and have sex-for-one daily (sometimes twice a day) and yes I do miss the closeness but would rather be by myself than be used or be with someone who is not into me as a person and respects and appreciates me for who I am and what I am. Do I miss not being with someone who shares my interests and feelings?? Of course I do however
I don't miss being used which would be the alternative I suppose and for me it is not a very appealing option.
cuddlybear1970
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No, I am not fired, nor are you. I was getting extremely tired. I have been working 12 hour shifts. After a while they kind of get to you. I will be working nights for a while, 8pm til 8am so if I am not up at night, go ahead and leave a message. And yes, maybe we can get together for the massage, although I have someone who is interested in more, that I plan on exploring. Life is getting interesting, and I am really starting to enjoy being up on Lit to talk to everyone. It really helps to have people who understand what I am going through, especially with my wife having left me for a guy, based on his income, not who he was. She decided that I wasn't able to afford the level of relationship she was entitled to, as she put it. Be that as it may be, I am looking for friends, people who don't mind talking and sharing time with me. And all of you are wonderful people.
This is for Tx, I use a mint foot lotion for those foot massages. I also get to cheat a little, my mother runs an herb shop where she does all the herbal teas, lotions and things. So all I need to do is ask what is best to use, and she usually has it. If you or anyone else wants some herbal stuff, let me know, my mom does mail order and I would be happy to foward an order for you.
John
This is for Tx, I use a mint foot lotion for those foot massages. I also get to cheat a little, my mother runs an herb shop where she does all the herbal teas, lotions and things. So all I need to do is ask what is best to use, and she usually has it. If you or anyone else wants some herbal stuff, let me know, my mom does mail order and I would be happy to foward an order for you.
John
Tx girl
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Luvpats-- Im glad to see you say that you would rather be without a woman then to give in to petty BS. The time will come for you!!! And of course the option isn't appealing for you its not the "whole" package that you seek and long for. That lucky lady will come along, just watch and see.
Cuddly! Its ok, i was actually just giving you a hard time. Im actually very good at that! And im glad you didn't fire me! Its great that you met someone. I do wish you the best of luck with her. I hope she knows she's getting a wonderful guy. You are all wonderful.
You know what would feel soooooo friggen amazing right now??? A foot rub!!! I might just go to heaven in the process and float off though!
You guy are a sweetheart!
Im sorry to hear your working so hard! You know what they say all work and no play... sounds like you need to start "playing" *wink* Besides it will make you feel better! Im so happy for you that things are changing and for the better!!!! Lit life can be ooooooh so many things!
Ya'll know me.. gotta say something! Your wife left you because you couldn't afford the level of your relationship??? Since when was there ever a price on love?
Im also a sucker for pretty smelling things so i might just take you up on the offer of getting some stuff from your mom soon! Take care sweetness.. we'll talk again soon. Im sure of it!!!
Ooops one more last thing (i promise!!!) Cuddly, if your sleeping then i hope your having wonderful sweet dreams. Maybe of that new "friend" of yours! Take care!
Cuddly! Its ok, i was actually just giving you a hard time. Im actually very good at that! And im glad you didn't fire me! Its great that you met someone. I do wish you the best of luck with her. I hope she knows she's getting a wonderful guy. You are all wonderful.
You know what would feel soooooo friggen amazing right now??? A foot rub!!! I might just go to heaven in the process and float off though!
You guy are a sweetheart!Im sorry to hear your working so hard! You know what they say all work and no play... sounds like you need to start "playing" *wink* Besides it will make you feel better! Im so happy for you that things are changing and for the better!!!! Lit life can be ooooooh so many things!
Ya'll know me.. gotta say something! Your wife left you because you couldn't afford the level of your relationship??? Since when was there ever a price on love?
Im also a sucker for pretty smelling things so i might just take you up on the offer of getting some stuff from your mom soon! Take care sweetness.. we'll talk again soon. Im sure of it!!!
Ooops one more last thing (i promise!!!) Cuddly, if your sleeping then i hope your having wonderful sweet dreams. Maybe of that new "friend" of yours! Take care!
lookmeover
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sigh........
lovepats and Tx girl, I am infatuated with you both. You are so honest, caring and sensual. Geez, I would love to spend some quality time with you, and that would not require intimacy to be blissful.
Ever visit San Antonio?
lovepats and Tx girl, I am infatuated with you both. You are so honest, caring and sensual. Geez, I would love to spend some quality time with you, and that would not require intimacy to be blissful.
Ever visit San Antonio?
Tx girl
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Thankyou so very very much Lookmeover. I can honestly say im blushing badly and im very flattered! Sorry to say though i never go to that area. And i have a SO that im sure wouldn't like it very much if i were to visit you. Yes we both are honest. Why lie here? Really. No one really knows me, its not like they live down the block and go oooooooooooo your that girl... Very select few have seen my pics and anytime i wanted i could just turn the computer off. Like i said no need to lie. It irritates the hell out of me when people do that crap. Its almost as if they feel they have to prove themself to someone that is behind a computer screen. Granted that person behind the computer screen is very much real, alive, has a heart and loves. The person on the other side of the screen will either like you or dislike you. Whether it be now, with a few little lies you can make anyone like you. Or still lie and one day possibly met that other person and totally not be the man/woman she or he was looking for.
Lookmeover im going to tell you the same as i told LuvPats you will find the woman of your dreams. The "one" don't sell yourself short just because you want that something/someone now. If you do you'll only regret caving in. Some of us women really like the honest caring guys that you represent.
And as i also told Luvpats you both need in the relationship to be totally satisfyed. Not half of it. You will end up regreting it later in life. No rushes get to snuggling and being happy. It will come!
Lookmeover im going to tell you the same as i told LuvPats you will find the woman of your dreams. The "one" don't sell yourself short just because you want that something/someone now. If you do you'll only regret caving in. Some of us women really like the honest caring guys that you represent.
And as i also told Luvpats you both need in the relationship to be totally satisfyed. Not half of it. You will end up regreting it later in life. No rushes get to snuggling and being happy. It will come!
MizTabby
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a few good cuddlers
I am soooo pleased to see the responses lovepats thread is getting!!
and I know cuddlyb is feeling fine seeing that there are like-
minded people sharing their views, *hugs*
there you go, lookmeover, what a great thing to say
about finishing last, I think that's a first!! ^5
Tx girl is such a fine lady, and makes us ladies who feel
the same way, look absolutely more desireable to the
gents who place more importance on the sweeter aspects
of sensuality, prior to the heated passions of sexuality,
mind you, they both go hand in hand but it's always
a plus to be pampered!!!
Have a great day you all
I am soooo pleased to see the responses lovepats thread is getting!!
and I know cuddlyb is feeling fine seeing that there are like-
minded people sharing their views, *hugs*
there you go, lookmeover, what a great thing to say
about finishing last, I think that's a first!! ^5
Tx girl is such a fine lady, and makes us ladies who feel
the same way, look absolutely more desireable to the
gents who place more importance on the sweeter aspects
of sensuality, prior to the heated passions of sexuality,
mind you, they both go hand in hand
but it's alwaysa plus to be pampered!!!
Have a great day you all
lookmeover
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Tx girl and MizTabby...
Thanks for your kind words, honesty and encouragement. The lies that populate these forums are hurtful and far too many in number. With some embarrassment, I will admit that my present state of need for sincere companionship induces my believing most of what I read. I know, that is both unwise and unrealistic.
I will try to be patient, knowing what you say is true. I hope you both have a great Friday. I will be thinking fondly of you as I lay in bed tonight...alone....ugh. 
Thanks for your kind words, honesty and encouragement. The lies that populate these forums are hurtful and far too many in number. With some embarrassment, I will admit that my present state of need for sincere companionship induces my believing most of what I read. I know, that is both unwise and unrealistic.
I will try to be patient, knowing what you say is true. I hope you both have a great Friday. I will be thinking fondly of you as I lay in bed tonight...alone....ugh.
Tx girl
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MizTabby, Thanks so much for your kind words. I really appreciate them. And you are very right. These guys are wonderful!! They just need to see it for themselves. Seriously guys, if we think you are terrific, isn't it time you see it too?!!
lookmeover, yes there are some that love to hurt others here, those are the ones you should ignore. These people don't know you. And the ones that you chose to "show" yourself to, will respect you for who you are and what you believe, NEVER let anyone make you feel less then you are.
lookmeover, yes there are some that love to hurt others here, those are the ones you should ignore. These people don't know you. And the ones that you chose to "show" yourself to, will respect you for who you are and what you believe, NEVER let anyone make you feel less then you are.
MizTabby
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a little snipTx girl said:MizTabby, Thanks so much for your kind words. I really appreciate them. And you are very right. These guys are wonderful!! They just need to see it for themselves. Seriously guys, if we think you are terrific, isn't it time you see it too?!!
You're most welcome, Tx girl, I was remembering those fun days with HarveyWallbangr,
you were a pal then, as you are now
*just hope lovepats decides to stay on, and where's cuddlyb?
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dragonhearted
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Oh...you're talkin first date thing...I thought you meant in general!
I think if both people spontaneously feel sexual sure have sex...but have lots of foreplay first. What's the rush? But then, I love lots of foreplay anyway!
I think if both people spontaneously feel sexual sure have sex...but have lots of foreplay first. What's the rush? But then, I love lots of foreplay anyway!
potatohead
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It seems like whenever I've had sex on the first date the relationships tend to be pretty short lived and lust filled. Not that it's a bad thing but after a while I start to feel guilty about it. Then again, if the other person is along for the ride (takes two tango) I'd assume that it's a mutual thing. But if both people acknowledge it for what it is then how bad could it be?
Honestly, sometimes I miss cuddling and stuff more then actually having sex. If a women comes into it demanding to be pleased and have this and that it usually doesn't work out, I get performance anxiety! LOL
Honestly, sometimes I miss cuddling and stuff more then actually having sex. If a women comes into it demanding to be pleased and have this and that it usually doesn't work out, I get performance anxiety! LOL
Tx girl
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Thanks MizTabby and so were you, yes those days were fun, and some bad! But everything works out for a reason.
I haven't seen luvspats either. BTW Luvspats, if your reading this im so sorry i haven't responded to your emails, in fact i just got them late last night. Im horrible about checking email and even worse about sending them.
As far as Cuddlyb he said he's been working very long hours. I miss seeing them both!
Potatoehead i agree with you most relationships are short lived after having sex on the first date. Myself i'd really wonder about a guys true intentions if he wanted that from me so soon. I'd wonder if thats all he's wanted to begin with. I'd most definatly want to know that this guy is really "into" me. And in the same turn both true for guys and gals it tends to hurt the others feelings knowing and thinking that, thats the one thing he was after to begin with. Make sense?? LOL i sure hope so because i think i might have confused myself saying all that.
I haven't seen luvspats either. BTW Luvspats, if your reading this im so sorry i haven't responded to your emails, in fact i just got them late last night. Im horrible about checking email and even worse about sending them.
As far as Cuddlyb he said he's been working very long hours. I miss seeing them both!
Potatoehead i agree with you most relationships are short lived after having sex on the first date. Myself i'd really wonder about a guys true intentions if he wanted that from me so soon. I'd wonder if thats all he's wanted to begin with. I'd most definatly want to know that this guy is really "into" me. And in the same turn both true for guys and gals it tends to hurt the others feelings knowing and thinking that, thats the one thing he was after to begin with. Make sense?? LOL i sure hope so because i think i might have confused myself saying all that.
luvpats4unme
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haven't been posting lately
Hi Tx_girl I hope you are doing well. For the most part I stopped posting because of the hate mail and degrading comments from several individuals to my posts. I got angry I admit that but after you are bombarded with demoralizing emails and comments who wouldn't be???
One email really bothered me from someone who posts regularly on this board. I sent to this individual my personal ad and she responded and I quote that my ad was "filled with selfishness" and that I was "arrogant" among other things. I got very upset at this and I admit I sent to this individual a very strongly worded email which contained some things that I admit I should not have said. Of course it is selfish it is a personal ad describing what
I want and what I am looking for. I am a selfish person I admit that. I am tired of being used and abused. I agree I am arrogant and biased as well. When you are robbed at knifepoint on a date by your date who wouldn't be?? However the individual did not need to go into detail about how she felt concerning the contents of the ad all she had to say was that she was not interested. If my ad was not for this individual then so be it. I did not ask for this individual to judge me or to condemn me for what I seek. Unfortunately the individual's email came right at the time
I started to get hate mail from other posters so it was also a case of bad timing. I also admit I overreacted. I make mistakes.
I am not perfect
I still don't know what part of my ad the individual did not like or found offensive. I am allergic to smoke and I go to church. My ad was simple and straight-forward. So I am picky. I would rather be happy single than miserable married and I have seen miserable.
I know too many people that are very unhappily married and
I see the consequences on the children and the people themselves. I have seen abuse and I also have been abused.
So my ad is very specific. I have learned alot as a result of my experiences. I realized that hurt and rejection is part of life and a daily occurence. However with the experiences that I have had
I have found it is better to be alone than to be with someone who will make you unhappy or do you harm. . .
Hi Tx_girl I hope you are doing well. For the most part I stopped posting because of the hate mail and degrading comments from several individuals to my posts. I got angry I admit that but after you are bombarded with demoralizing emails and comments who wouldn't be???
One email really bothered me from someone who posts regularly on this board. I sent to this individual my personal ad and she responded and I quote that my ad was "filled with selfishness" and that I was "arrogant" among other things. I got very upset at this and I admit I sent to this individual a very strongly worded email which contained some things that I admit I should not have said. Of course it is selfish it is a personal ad describing what
I want and what I am looking for. I am a selfish person I admit that. I am tired of being used and abused. I agree I am arrogant and biased as well. When you are robbed at knifepoint on a date by your date who wouldn't be?? However the individual did not need to go into detail about how she felt concerning the contents of the ad all she had to say was that she was not interested. If my ad was not for this individual then so be it. I did not ask for this individual to judge me or to condemn me for what I seek. Unfortunately the individual's email came right at the time
I started to get hate mail from other posters so it was also a case of bad timing. I also admit I overreacted. I make mistakes.
I am not perfect
I still don't know what part of my ad the individual did not like or found offensive. I am allergic to smoke and I go to church. My ad was simple and straight-forward. So I am picky. I would rather be happy single than miserable married and I have seen miserable.
I know too many people that are very unhappily married and
I see the consequences on the children and the people themselves. I have seen abuse and I also have been abused.
So my ad is very specific. I have learned alot as a result of my experiences. I realized that hurt and rejection is part of life and a daily occurence. However with the experiences that I have had
I have found it is better to be alone than to be with someone who will make you unhappy or do you harm. . .
UnnamedOne
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Re: haven't been posting lately
I can relate to what you are saying luvpats. I have just recently found myself to be single. I also would rather be happy and single, than be in a relationship that was harmful. It took me over ten yrs. to take my life back. Now there is a smile on my face.
luvpats4unme said:
I can relate to what you are saying luvpats. I have just recently found myself to be single. I also would rather be happy and single, than be in a relationship that was harmful. It took me over ten yrs. to take my life back. Now there is a smile on my face.
MizTabby
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HUGS for lovepats
Good seeing you stop by your thread, Richard.
Although I can understand how upsetting those sharp
remarks can be, I just urge you to think on the nicer aspects
of the Litworld, for instance, the friends you've made, I
think we count for something too.
Like I've told you, there's always someone sucking a lemon,
but I'm a firm believer in what the old adage says, making
lemonade with those lemons
No, it's not "better to be alone" and as you can see, you
have never been alone[/] on this topic you created, there
are many people who share your views, I'm sure they've been reading,
maybe not wanting to jump right in,
but not
everybody is spiteful or inconsiderate.
I've had my share of some unwanted, unneeded and very
unnecessary interaction with those who have felt it boosted
their ego to be inconsiderate, but it's not the majority, in
fact, as my Papa used to say, (whenever I faced "the talk")
someone must have found something that touched a nerve
and made him/her realize his/her own shortcomings, so the
result was to be offensive.
Please don't allow yourself all this stress, there are many
pleasant aspects of Lit to explore, why not enjoy them
instead. I notice cudlyb is mingling, so how about you too?
Good seeing you stop by your thread, Richard.
Although I can understand how upsetting those sharp
remarks can be, I just urge you to think on the nicer aspects
of the Litworld, for instance, the friends you've made, I
think we count for something too.
Like I've told you, there's always someone sucking a lemon,
but I'm a firm believer in what the old adage says, making
lemonade with those lemons
No, it's not "better to be alone" and as you can see, you
have never been alone[/] on this topic you created, there
are many people who share your views, I'm sure they've been reading,
maybe not wanting to jump right in,
but not
everybody is spiteful or inconsiderate.
I've had my share of some unwanted, unneeded and very
unnecessary interaction with those who have felt it boosted
their ego to be inconsiderate, but it's not the majority, in
fact, as my Papa used to say, (whenever I faced "the talk")
someone must have found something that touched a nerve
and made him/her realize his/her own shortcomings, so the
result was to be offensive.
Please don't allow yourself all this stress, there are many
pleasant aspects of Lit to explore, why not enjoy them
instead. I notice cudlyb is mingling, so how about you too?
dragonhearted
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You're cute!(saw pic)
if you were in Maine, I'd cuddle up to ya, keep ya warm!
if you were in Maine, I'd cuddle up to ya, keep ya warm!
LOOOOOOOOOOOOng foreplay...
Im sure glad to hear that there are others out there that dontWANT to feel pressured intercourse, it feels like the "Perfprm-or-else" deal, makes for a uncomfortable time. Im for the touches in public(makes me and her both feel special and desired) and the slow hand approach is best here. Im inmy 50s and the wham-bam deal is not the quality that I want in my life. I m with whoever said tat he would rather be ccelibate than unhappy/pressured. Ill second that.And thanks to the ladies for the pat on the back- guess we ALL need the same thing---Love first, and plenty of it-
Sloan
Im sure glad to hear that there are others out there that dontWANT to feel pressured intercourse, it feels like the "Perfprm-or-else" deal, makes for a uncomfortable time. Im for the touches in public(makes me and her both feel special and desired) and the slow hand approach is best here. Im inmy 50s and the wham-bam deal is not the quality that I want in my life. I m with whoever said tat he would rather be ccelibate than unhappy/pressured. Ill second that.And thanks to the ladies for the pat on the back- guess we ALL need the same thing---Love first, and plenty of it-
Sloan
