Introducing someone to a little kink.

[Hatter21]

Has anyone had a girlfriend, boyfriend or even their spouse that didn't know of some of your kinky turn ons? How did you introduce them to that person? What was their reaction?

I ask because my wife is pretty vanilla for the most part when sex is involved, but she has her moments. We have just started talking about some of the things I have discovered that turn me on and so far we are slowly exploring them. What are your success stories or I guess the failures?

 

[jomar]

I told her and it turns out that she likes that I confided and was assertive so she's completely into it.

Another said she preferred doing such stuff when she'd been drinking a bit heavily...not quite as open, that one.

 

[peachesmelba]

My SO has introduced a few things that were new to me - he shared some LitE stories on topics and we talked about them. There isn't anything that he's wanted to add that we haven't both enjoyed - immensely! Good luck!

 

[StrongMaster7]

I have NOT had much success with this. It is a terrible feeling to carefully suggest something and get a horrified look. I don't think it did damage tot he relationships, but it was not gratifying. Nothing ventured...

Stating the obvious, the people on Lit are the exception when it comes to sexual adventure. IMHO, an overwhelming percentage of people are not nearly as sexually-oriented, open-minded, or willing to try new things. Many women are raised to be repressed and many men are not raised to consider a woman's needs. I honestly believe that 90% or more of people don't or won't try much kink.

This is hypocracy when one looks at the popularity of porn online. Just my two cents.

 

[LongLiveMetal28]

You only live once and variety is the spice of life. You're bound only by your own fears. So have fun and dont worry about things

 

[Sexy_Me0508]

Maybe try to explore and communicate what you want slowly...why not through email? it is fun and will surely bring some change..if you are comfortable, write her some fantasies of what you want and let her respond - It will surely be pleasant surprise for her to get some sexy write-up from you
If she comfortable, get some smut you like and try to go slow with it. She may not be open to all that you want but if she sees you're interested, I can assure you she'll be willing to try...And hopefully discover herself in a new light

 

[LittleBrother]

It has been my experience that if brought up honestly, and experimented with via system of very mild to wild, most things up to mid range of kinky are possible. Extreme kinks like heavy bdsm with pain, pee on face-drinking, and others, can be just a flat out no regardless of approach.

 

[klippert]

What I have learnt over the years.... Be certain your comfortable with yourself, and when your lover trusts and is comfortable with you.....then the sky is the limit. Always remember...Make the pleasure her's. If you think about yourself, she will pull away... trust me on that. Even if you want her to fuck your ass with a strap-on

 

[Sexy_Me0508]

What I have learnt over the years.... Be certain your comfortable with yourself, and when your lover trusts and is comfortable with you.....then the sky is the limit. Always remember...Make the pleasure her's. If you think about yourself, she will pull away... trust me on that. Even if you want her to fuck your ass with a strap-on

Completely agree..its all about finding a common comfort zone for her pleasure and yours...