Intimacy

[thirty]

I find it a very large turn-off to be asked during sex "what do you want". I'm not sure why, but I want her to suck me to orgasm without my asking...walk into the shower and initiate without me expecting it...push me between her legs for oral without my asking her if it's ok...etc.

I also dislike to discuss with my wife about what I want, I think she should use her imagination, she should feel it with her heart. It would be not interesting any more if I ask something directly.
Anyway, wives are wives, they are not whores, they are not professional, lol...

 

[Cathleen]

I've done this before and it's very fun and something different once in a while. We had his/her jars and took turns picking one of the others fantasies out of their jar and doing it. We didn't really read them...we just jumped right in so to speak hehe. Lots of fun!

Love it! How tantalizing it would be to see him put something in his jar and have to wait until later, that would flip my switch for sure. Seduction begins in the mind and should start well in advance of anything physical, in my opinion.

 

[missfortune1313]

reply

Alot of people have fetishes,I just happen to have a nerd fetish and they tend to be awfully shy in the bedroom when it comes to being open sometimes so I feel your pain .Ive found one of the most recent ways Ive dealt with making it easy for my SO to be a little open with the sexual communication, I decided to initiate a little game of strip poker. Once we were naked I handed him 5 strips of paper and took 5 for myself, I then told him we would then write a request on each piece. These requests would only be done for a two minute span, they could range from foot rubbing to any deviant sexual thought we could come up with. It was a very good ice breaker in the bedroom

 

[emptynester]

It is so cool to hear stories that you can relate to. I remember the days when we had 3 under the age of six. I, like your wife wanted to make sure in addition to keeping up with the kids and career, I took care of my man. It was difficult at times to initiate (no let me say, impossible). I was there for him when I knew he wanted it but I was hesitant to suggest it. A good nights sleep sounded wonderful too. Now ours are 22, 20 and 18. Only one still living at home if you can call it that (He has the basement, we have the upstairs). He is never here; in PT school and working at the hospital. Soooo, I am finding I am now in the mood (even still with a SVP career) to initiate and experiment. At first my husband was like "who is this woman." I have teased him a lot about running into the other room for fear I was going to initiate something again. Before, I had trouble talking about sex too because it made me feel inadequate. Like I wasn't pleasing him even though I just gave up going to sleep early to make sure he was satisfied. Get my drift. Anyway, it sounds like you are both very interested in pleasing the other. Make a game out of it. Moan when she is doing something you want her to continue doing or say something like "I love it when you...... and describe what it is she has done that you are hoping she will do again. Just make sure you say this in her ear during foreplay or cuddling. I never thought I would be the one to say this, but sex (in our marriage at least) just keeps getting better and better. It has always been good but you never knew what you were missing until you experience that next level, and the next and so on.

Communication can be made in ways other than just coming right out and asking. Show her and make her feel what pleases you. Sounds like she is really trying and so are you. That is the most important ingredient! Pays off in years to come. (no pun intended)