Interracial

Did you read it? Is that how you decided it was bad? Or are you just speaking out of your ass?

While This comment was not directed at me I will respond anyway. Yes I read it twice. Once yesterday and again today thinking I may have missed something on my original read. I didn't think it was any better the second time than I did the first.

The majority of the story revolved around your main protagonist. Eric was simply a minor secondary character we know damn little about and frankly don't care much about.

Stacy is just a blond staffer and again we don't know her or care about her.

So you have two two relatively minor characters fucking and sucking so what.

Despite that the story is setting around a four so the average reader says they think it is a good read and they liked it.

I would guess almost every writer on here has the occupational stinker and your scores are better than that.

Since you asked.

Mike
 
You have maybe four things that could have been plot points-- the fact that Matt's Primary Advisor is a black man-- in an Ohio campaign no less-- that Eric "bear hugs" men, that Stacy who looks like a blue-eyed blond ditz has a mind like a steel trap, and that she's never done anal and who is that gonna be?

But nothing came of any of these possible conflicts. I would like to see you push this into the story that it could be. it would be a lot longer, of course :)
 
While This comment was not directed at me I will respond anyway. Yes I read it twice. Once yesterday and again today thinking I may have missed something on my original read. I didn't think it was any better the second time than I did the first.

The majority of the story revolved around your main protagonist. Eric was simply a minor secondary character we know damn little about and frankly don't care much about.

Stacy is just a blond staffer and again we don't know her or care about her.

So you have two two relatively minor characters fucking and sucking so what.

Despite that the story is setting around a four so the average reader says they think it is a good read and they liked it.

I would guess almost every writer on here has the occupational stinker and your scores are better than that.

Since you asked.

Mike



I cringed at the beginning of this; it was painless thanks for that. You know when I wrote this it was a lot longer. I cut it in half upon recommendation, so the second chapter covers the main character. I hear you; it’s still my favorite story.
 
You have maybe four things that could have been plot points-- the fact that Matt's Primary Advisor is a black man-- in an Ohio campaign no less-- that Eric "bear hugs" men, that Stacy who looks like a blue-eyed blond ditz has a mind like a steel trap, and that she's never done anal and who is that gonna be?

But nothing came of any of these possible conflicts. I would like to see you push this into the story that it could be. it would be a lot longer, of course :)

The anal was in there when the guy was white. I AIN'T NO RACIST! "Bear hugs," as a conflict do you mean make them gay?

The only conflict I thought of possible was a scandal, with the campaign manager fucking a staffer.

Stacey is sorrority material not dumb.

PS: There is a second chapter but it creates a whole different conflict. After the second chapter I was going to make it a scifi story, but the lack of support killed my buzz.


http://www.literotica.com/s/my-american-dream-ch-02
 
You have maybe four things that could have been plot points-- the fact that Matt's Primary Advisor is a black man-- in an Ohio campaign no less-- that Eric "bear hugs" men, that Stacy who looks like a blue-eyed blond ditz has a mind like a steel trap, and that she's never done anal and who is that gonna be?

But nothing came of any of these possible conflicts. I would like to see you push this into the story that it could be. it would be a lot longer, of course :)

I agree with Stella here. You have some plot points that would strengthen the story and give the story an edge. Don't pull the story.

No I agree, a story has to have a soul and a message. It can't all be fucking. We must challenege the status quo and speak truth to stupid.

That's right!
 
Let's back up a step, you broke it up under advice then don't expect the story to do as badly as it did. You have a full story of however long the two are and then took the first part off and left it alone so whatever additional things happen later are not in the first part.

Of course the first part didn't do very well, you set up and then stopped the story before it was finished. Never break up a story unless what you post first is a complete thing in and of itself. What you did is more or less giving out half the first chapter of a book only to post the other half later. :rolleyes:

Think about that for a minute. Hell even better go read one of my series, the western are pretty good for understanding. If the entire posted story is not a stand alone keep going until it is or leave it all together.
 
Let's back up a step, you broke it up under advice then don't expect the story to do as badly as it did. You have a full story of however long the two are and then took the first part off and left it alone so whatever additional things happen later are not in the first part.

Of course the first part didn't do very well, you set up and then stopped the story before it was finished. Never break up a story unless what you post first is a complete thing in and of itself. What you did is more or less giving out half the first chapter of a book only to post the other half later. :rolleyes:

Think about that for a minute. Hell even better go read one of my series, the western are pretty good for understanding. If the entire posted story is not a stand alone keep going until it is or leave it all together.

It was all published at the same time. The second part tackles a whole different snake. When I wrote it there was a adiving line between the two. The second part takes place two years later.
 
Problems with Race in Stories

Too often I see racial stereotypes as being used as a crutch in lieu of characterization. Need a thug? Make him black or brown-skinned and have him speak like an inner-city dropout or someone from a barrio. Need a dumb slut? Make her white and blonde (this is *old*). If an asian shows up, the character is female and is either submissive or some martial-artist. Need a male Lothario? How about a Hispanic male that will fuck anything with a skirt? More often than not, stories with interracial elements depend upon such stereotypes and it's why I avoid them as a rule of thumb. How many story have male blacks, Latinos, or Asians show up as good guys? Unless race is important to the writer as some sort of kink that he/she gets off on, I don't believe that it should be a focal point. It should remain relatively ambiguous whenever possible, so that readers can project whatever features they prefer. Now, I have read a few very good stories where race is *incidental*, but they are the minority.

Oh, and if you want bad reviews, include politics. Readers generally respond poorly to stories with political leanings.
 
Too often I see racial stereotypes as being used as a crutch in lieu of characterization. Need a thug? Make him black or brown-skinned and have him speak like an inner-city dropout or someone from a barrio. Need a dumb slut? Make her white and blonde (this is *old*). If an asian shows up, the character is female and is either submissive or some martial-artist. Need a male Lothario? How about a Hispanic male that will fuck anything with a skirt? More often than not, stories with interracial elements depend upon such stereotypes and it's why I avoid them as a rule of thumb. How many story have male blacks, Latinos, or Asians show up as good guys? Unless race is important to the writer as some sort of kink that he/she gets off on, I don't believe that it should be a focal point. It should remain relatively ambiguous whenever possible, so that readers can project whatever features they prefer. Now, I have read a few very good stories where race is *incidental*, but they are the minority.

Oh, and if you want bad reviews, include politics. Readers generally respond poorly to stories with political leanings.

Well I'm gona review it and do a re-write there are meny things to change.
 
Put the two chapters back together, too.

You really don't need a line between-- let the readers work out the time change themselves. You can have Matthew say something about that campaign three years ago, if you need to.

My advice for you at this time, is to take smaller bites so to speak. use a few more words to go a shorter distance. Figure out what, exactly, you want each chapter to do, where you want it to go--and then get rid of whatever gets in the way of that goal. if you're writing a stroker then the speeches get in the way. If you're writing politics, then the sex just might get in the way, unless you have a good reason for including it. (If you're writing a political thriller, then make sure you understand the politics you want to promote, BTW)

If you want Eric to be black, let him BE black. From the first time he walks in the door. It's not only about the color of his skin. Persons of color grow up in a different world than white folks do, unless they are incredibly lucky-- and they will know it-- or incredibly determined to ignore the shit that society hurls their way. They might be strengthened or weakened by these experiences, but no white will ever be stopped by the cops for "walking with melanin" -- wearing a skin of a suspect color.

Black people and white people really are alike, we all want the same fundamental things, comfort standing, companionship, love-- but how much of those things we get, and how we strive for them can be very different depending on who is around us and how they interact with us.
 
Put the two chapters back together, too.

You really don't need a line between-- let the readers work out the time change themselves. You can have Matthew say something about that campaign three years ago, if you need to.

My advice for you at this time, is to take smaller bites so to speak. use a few more words to go a shorter distance. Figure out what, exactly, you want each chapter to do, where you want it to go--and then get rid of whatever gets in the way of that goal. if you're writing a stroker then the speeches get in the way. If you're writing politics, then the sex just might get in the way, unless you have a good reason for including it. (If you're writing a political thriller, then make sure you understand the politics you want to promote, BTW)

If you want Eric to be black, let him BE black. From the first time he walks in the door. It's not only about the color of his skin. Persons of color grow up in a different world than white folks do, unless they are incredibly lucky-- and they will know it-- or incredibly determined to ignore the shit that society hurls their way. They might be strengthened or weakened by these experiences, but no white will ever be stopped by the cops for "walking with melanin" -- wearing a skin of a suspect color.

Black people and white people really are alike, we all want the same fundamental things, comfort standing, companionship, love-- but how much of those things we get, and how we strive for them can be very different depending on who is around us and how they interact with us.


I agreed with the first half of this. I disagreed with the statement that all black persons grow up under worse conditions, and if they don't there lucky. I had and have a lot of black friends growing up and still now, more so than white friends actually. Depending on where you live different people will be subject to different conditions. I looked at the story like a coin, the nerd gets his day and the other being physical conquest frowned on in society.
 
Too often I see racial stereotypes as being used as a crutch in lieu of characterization. Need a thug? Make him black or brown-skinned and have him speak like an inner-city dropout or someone from a barrio. Need a dumb slut? Make her white and blonde (this is *old*). If an asian shows up, the character is female and is either submissive or some martial-artist. Need a male Lothario? How about a Hispanic male that will fuck anything with a skirt? More often than not, stories with interracial elements depend upon such stereotypes and it's why I avoid them as a rule of thumb. How many story have male blacks, Latinos, or Asians show up as good guys? Unless race is important to the writer as some sort of kink that he/she gets off on, I don't believe that it should be a focal point. It should remain relatively ambiguous whenever possible, so that readers can project whatever features they prefer. Now, I have read a few very good stories where race is *incidental*, but they are the minority.

Oh, and if you want bad reviews, include politics. Readers generally respond poorly to stories with political leanings.

I have written many stories with an interracial aspect but have not posted them in the I/R category, because the race aspect is unimportant. They go to Anal or Group or even L/W (where they get really flamed.) If I post to the I/R category, it is either E/C involving different races or uses stereotypes.

You know, there really are hung black studs around. There really are white women who lust only for black men. And vice-versa. These are stereotypes, and the only ones I use, but they do exist.
 
I agreed with the first half of this. I disagreed with the statement that all black persons grow up under worse conditions, and if they don't there lucky. I had and have a lot of black friends growing up and still now, more so than white friends actually. Depending on where you live different people will be subject to different conditions. I looked at the story like a coin, the nerd gets his day and the other being physical conquest frowned on in society.

Take what you need, and leave the rest as the song says... :)
 
I have written many stories with an interracial aspect but have not posted them in the I/R category, because the race aspect is unimportant. They go to Anal or Group or even L/W (where they get really flamed.) If I post to the I/R category, it is either E/C involving different races or uses stereotypes.

You know, there really are hung black studs around. There really are white women who lust only for black men. And vice-versa. These are stereotypes, and the only ones I use, but they do exist.
The living world record holder for having the largest penis (13.5") is some thirty-ish year old New Yorker that's a wannabe actor. (Oh, and he happens to be white.) No digital editing or fake porn star profile. And eminently more interesting as the basis for a character than some cookie-cutter stereotype. Imagine a story about a guy that's trying to make it big in New York (like every other schmuck in town). Having a big dick has it's one problems, just like having large breasts can be problematic. Pants (particularly in off-the-rack suits) are often too tight in the crotch area. Getting it caught down a pants leg can be painful when sitting. Short boxers, close-fitting sweats, and Speedos are a no-go. Women (and some men) that notice it, think that just because you have a big dick, that you only think with it and won't take you seriously. Female bosses (including the ugly ones) might proposition you. Female coworkers think you're a lecher. Feminists hate you almost on sight. Police officers can write you a citation for a lewd display if your penis "prints" clearly in your pants (some fabrics do this) and someone, like the nosy old lady that lives downstairs with the yappy dog, complains. Now cover his start, struggles, relationships, and success(?).

You don't have to resort to stereotypes to create stories. Characters *can* be different. Even predators (usually villains and anti-heroes) can be different. Think of a Lothario that targets a female character. What if the secret of his success (and arguably a more realistic one in my experience) isn't his dick--it's average-sized--but his oral technique. And not just his ability to bullshit his way into a woman's pants/skirt. Maybe he has a somewhat long and agile tongue?
 
Last edited:
The living world record holder for having the largest penis (13.5") is some thirty-ish year old New Yorker that's a wannabe actor. (Oh, and he happens to be white.) No digital editing or fake porn star profile. And eminently more interesting as the basis for a character than some cookie-cutter stereotype. Imagine a story about a guy that's trying to make it big in New York (like every other schmuck in town). Having a big dick has it's one problems, just like having large breasts can be problematic. Pants (particularly in off-the-rack suits) are often too tight in the crotch area. Getting it caught down a pants leg can be painful when sitting. Short boxers, close-fitting sweats, and Speedos are a no-go. Women (and some men) that notice it, think that just because you have a big dick, that you only think with it and won't take you seriously. Female bosses (including the ugly ones) might proposition you. Female coworkers think you're a lecher. Feminists hate you almost on sight. Police officers can write you a citation for a lewd display if your penis "prints" clearly in your pants (some fabrics do this) and someone, like the nosy old lady that lives downstairs with the yappy dog, complains. Now cover his start, struggles, relationships, and success(?).

You don't have to resort to stereotypes to create stories. Characters *can* be different. Even predators (usually villains and anti-heroes) can be different. Think of a Lothario that targets a female character. What if the secret of his success (and arguably a more realistic one in my experience) isn't his dick--it's average-sized--but his oral technique. And not just his ability to bullshit his way into a woman's pants/skirt. Maybe he has a somewhat long and agile tongue?

Gee, thanks. I hope you realize I didn't choose my handle as reflecting my desire and ability to lick cardboard cartons. :rolleyes:
 
Gee, thanks. I hope you realize I didn't choose my handle as reflecting my desire and ability to lick cardboard cartons. :rolleyes:



You didn't?....well my mental image of you is completely destroyed. I though you must have some weird corrugated paper fetish I had never heard of. Grins.

M.S.Tarot
 
Race should only be used in a visual description, and not then either.

It's a problem if you make it a problem.

I was never a fan of the Interracial Love category, I think it should be razed, but I tolerate it because the category description is: "It's all black & white, and white & Asian, and..."

They put it all out there and screamed: stereotypes here; so whatever, I'll treat it like Fetish and Text With Audio.

IMO it should be for couples who get busy with language barriers.



Relax, it's just a bad story and some trolls. :D

Let's face it Black IS beautiful. So is Red, Yellow, Olive, White . . .

So many people pretend to have open minds. I'm assuming payday you'd like to see it razed because it should be a non-issue? I agree if that's the case, but, I think because so many people have narrow minds it's own category is okay.

I wish we could just hope it would go away and ignore it and have people treat people fairly. I'm afraid it won't happen.
 
Last edited:
Unless race is important to the writer as some sort of kink that he/she gets off on, I don't believe that it should be a focal point. It should remain relatively ambiguous whenever possible, so that readers can project whatever features they prefer. Now, I have read a few very good stories where race is *incidental*, but they are the minority.

I like to leave readers room to project, but there are situations where race is important without being fetishised. For instance, I'm currently writing about a relationship between an Anglo-Australian woman and one of Greek background; ethnicity isn't part of the attraction but that background has a lot of effect on the way people relate to one another.

Oh, and if you want bad reviews, include politics. Readers generally respond poorly to stories with political leanings.

Depending a bit on the context. If you're writing about something like same-sex relationships, it may not be possible or desirable to exclude politics altogether - my narrator is dating a woman she's not allowed to marry, and that also affects the way they relate.

OTOH, I fully agree that random political rants in the middle of stories are a huge turn-off.

Feminists hate you almost on sight.

Not this feminist. You might be thinking of these ones :)

http://www.harkavagrant.com/index.php?id=341
 
What little I've written here has mostly been in Interracial, for one simple reason: It's what I'm into and it's what I write best. The stories I write are white male-black female for that exact reason: I am a white male, and I happen to think black women are beautiful.

I've been called one of the least racist people out there, at least by the fact that I generally don't give a damn about race with one exception - physical attraction. (Some would say I don't care about race because I hate everyone equally, but that's a story for another day.)

In my stories, the narrator is typically, like myself, a white male. (A well-hung white male just because I say so. Ridiculously huge cocks aren't necessary; a couple inches above average is usually sufficient.) The lady (or ladies, in my Blind Date series) is typically the kind of woman I like, though I try to describe her in such a way as to appear sexy to the reader - and details, especially considering she typically boils down to "curvy black woman with a big ass" can be tricky.

I typically score in the 4.2-4.3 range but I want to do better, and I think it's a travesty if the type of stories I write, not the quality of my writing, is what holds me down.
 
What little I've written here has mostly been in Interracial, for one simple reason: It's what I'm into and it's what I write best. The stories I write are white male-black female for that exact reason: I am a white male, and I happen to think black women are beautiful.

I've been called one of the least racist people out there, at least by the fact that I generally don't give a damn about race with one exception - physical attraction. (Some would say I don't care about race because I hate everyone equally, but that's a story for another day.)

In my stories, the narrator is typically, like myself, a white male. (A well-hung white male just because I say so. Ridiculously huge cocks aren't necessary; a couple inches above average is usually sufficient.) The lady (or ladies, in my Blind Date series) is typically the kind of woman I like, though I try to describe her in such a way as to appear sexy to the reader - and details, especially considering she typically boils down to "curvy black woman with a big ass" can be tricky.

I typically score in the 4.2-4.3 range but I want to do better, and I think it's a travesty if the type of stories I write, not the quality of my writing, is what holds me down.

Try this story and see if it is along the lines of what you write and like.

Around Midnight

Stick a link in your sigline so I can check out your stories. Maybe I can be of help.
 
I'm writing a story where I want to hint (just hint) that it is interracial. This is not for the IR section but the LW one. The idea of the hint is to push the buttons of people who are annoyed with black-on-white couplings, but not actually come out and say it. Why not say it? Because I think it is hard to do that and not sound racist.

I mean, if you say "she was white, he was black" you could respond "what the hell does the colour of their skin matter?"

So my plan is to convey the impression through their names. She has a name that suggests she is white, and he has a name more common amongst blacks. I don't even know if this can be credibly done. If it can, any suggestions for (given) names that don't sound too obvious? Or a source of such names?
 
Back
Top