Inter-Community Views on who's in and who's out

[Krinaia]

One of my classes is investigating sub-cultures. My professor, in an enthusiastic rant, was telling us how he loved to meet people with different interests but admitted that sometimes people's subcultures could scare him.

As a fetishist who can enjoy role play, I was immediately amused and curious as to what "scared him" so, I raised my hand and asked. He said "S & M".

And while SM sometimes scares me too, I felt, well since I gotta do this dumb paper/presentation I might as well try to dispell some myths and misconceptions.

My professor also asked me to investigate relationships within the community so here's a poll I'm conducting as part of my research and reading.

I'd like to invite you all to take part and comment - I know some choices are probably getting left off and I'm sorry so just post below if you have something you want to say.

IT IS ANNONYMOUS SO PLEASE VOTE WHAT YOU FEEL AND NOT WHAT YOU THINK YOU SHOULD SAY

this poll is not meant to ask what or how you practice what you practice in the bdsm community but how you regard the other members of the community to which you belong... if you don't belong to the community, this is a link to another poll on the GB that has options addressing you... https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&postid=10083885#post10083885

 

[RavenSpirit2k4]

You might want to consider adding something about RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink) in there too. RACK covers edgeplay such as trampling and strangling; basically, this philosophy of BDSM espouses the need for all parties concerned to be fully aware of the risks involved and give honest consent.

 

[Krinaia]

You might want to consider adding something about RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink) in there too. RACK covers edgeplay such as trampling and strangling; basically, this philosophy of BDSM espouses the need for all parties concerned to be fully aware of the risks involved and give honest consent.

Well I'm afraid that the limitedness of these polls meant I could only cover the D/S part of BDSM. I tried to leave out specifics as much as possible by just using large general terms and leaving options for fetishists.

I am not familiar with RACK and am not trying to preach safety, just to understand the relationship of the members of this community.

 

[NCShin]

well i picked the non labeling option, but it isn't really 100% true.

I think that labels can be good at times. They can give you a general overview of what a person is.

For example one option is: I think Dominants/Submissives are the best balanced people in the community.

I guess I'd label myself as a dominant, but I wouldn't say that doms/subs are the best balanced people in the community.

They might be best balanced for me, and what I like, but there are surely people here who they wouldn't be best balanced for.

 

[Netzach]

I also had a bitch of a time deciding, feel the same way about the labeling as NCShin does, and I don't like the idea of SSC as always being the best policy, there are other standards we can use for being good to each other but still doing SM and D/s.

 

[graceanne]

I also had trouble deciding, I was fluctuating between the second and the seventh. I finally chose the second, because I don't think that the labels are very clear, that they're mostly just to give people a general idea what you are. But the truth is that either way, it's not important to me what people call themselves, and I don't care if I fit in someone else's definition. I am what I am.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I think I will have to be more wide awake to attempt this one. From my research days this would be classed as subjective, biased, loose/broad, disconnected, and directed toward being judgemental of certain groups as opposed to looking to define and recognise the views of people and roles in the community. It is not meant as a put down as I realise polls here do limit number of choices, but there is a language bias toward some groups/roles, and apart from the Master/slave questions, for other roles there are only choices given which view the roles discussed as either positive or negative...no choice between positive or negative....for instance, the question about Tops/bottoms means you either choose to see them negatively or you don't have an option to include your view of them.

In research, the aim is to not direct the outcome by limiting or negatively or positively influencing some groups in the research pool, but having statements which give a choice and option of varying or at least opposing views so you can provide an answer to your hypothesis....perhaps it would be better if investigating SM, to define the research more around peoples views of varying degrees/practices of SM practiced in the community or even whether it is practiced, their understanding or tolerance of that, or approach from the safety angle as in those who practice SM giving an indication of how safe it has been in their experience, or how safe observers have found it to be etc. Alternatively you could concentrate on one group such as Tops/bottoms and the views of people in the community to make the research tighter and more defined toward an outcome of community views. Either way, you should be able to dispel some of your lecturer's fears, or increase them!!

Catalina

 

[shy slave]

Its an interesting piece of research, its difficult to have obejective based reaseach that is quatifiable when dealing with individual thoughts/feelings.
Subjective is fine by me

Several things intrigue me though:

How are you going to explain where your research came from?

Will you research a control group of vanilla people?

If so, who will be in control? (sorry, warped humour lol)

Will you have to give a presentation of your paper and answer questions???


Sky i am teasing a little, as I do think that anything that can dispel myths of any sub-culture and make just one person consider a different viewpoint has got to be worthwhile.

Curious to know why your proessor has a fear of S&M, makes me wonder if he is scared he will enjoy it too much?? That is a serious point, I have scared of way too many things (BDSM and Non-BDSM) only to discover later I liked them.

Depends how big a paper you have to write but the whole issue of what people think is 'safe,' 'sane,' or 'risk taking' has always interested me. Threads & comments on here show a wide range of what people think these are. Some of it varies so much and occasionally it appears that it is within a particular context that makes it risk taking/safe/sane or otherwise.

Have fun wirting it and if you come across any info or websites that give differing views or insights would love you to post them.

 

[Krinaia]

The paper is to be five to six pages. And it's not in my major, and it's only a 3 credit hour class.

My research isn't meant to be entirely scientific. And if the poll's choices are biased, it's because I'm basing it on my experiences within this community - and it's meant to prove or disprove one of my own theories. So far, it's getting disproved.

But like I said, I'm not worried on creating a scientific paper. I have other sources to provide me with statistics and cold hard facts. And while the polls choices may not be exactly what you wish them to be - you can always post your feelings. The poll is just meant to be a starting point.

Oh, yes I am interviewing a few "vanilla" people and one of the questions will be how they feel about that term. And yes, I do have to present it to the class - but only two to three minutes worth as we all have to present. So I'm not worried about it, and I don't have to "come out" as I'm not an SM'er which is what the paper is on - not necessarily the BDSM crowd at large.

That said, I'd like to quote you on why he might fear SM if that's okay

 

[shy slave]

Of course its ok to quote me. I am honoured, actually.

 

[FungiUg]

I've gone for the "no labels" option, which again isn't entirely correct.

I'm not currently in any form of D/s relationship. When I am, what form the relationship will take will depend on the people in it. And since we're missing one of those people, it's a bit hard to guess.

The reality for me is that I regard myself as an "alpha personality", I like control and kinky sex and some sadism. "Dominant" is an easy label that mostly fits, so I don't constantly have to describe what it means.

But my partner is not submissive.

 

[MissTaken]

I voted OTHER

I think that relationships are as real as the people involved make them.

What does it for me will not do it for all of you.

I promise you.

 

[AnelizeDarkEyes]

Interesting poll, if not a very clear one.

For the record, I chose other. Mainly because I don't agree with ANY of the choices 100%.

Let's go through these one by one, shall we?

*smirk*

I think Tops/Bottoms are just roleplayers and don't understand the deeper emotional nuances possible when you deal with this form of sexual interchange.

Oh, the poooor benighted top and bottom. They are just out there having great scenes and not worrying about all that silly D/s stuff. Lucky them. Right. Whatever.

Nope, don't believe this one. If they are having a great time and getting their groove on, I could care less if the letters D and s are ever involved. Lucky them!!

I think that basically everyone can admit to being dominant/dommes or submissive (even switches who just switch between these roles) and that the depths of dominance and submission in these labels are only relavent as generalized labels that let others know your limits.

Ummm. No. Some people are masochists and haven't the faintest interest in submitting ..... ever. Don't buy this one.

I think Dominants/Submissives are the best balanced people in the community.

*laughs her fucking ass off*

I think Master/Slave relationships are the only true relationships that understand the deepest emotional nuances (submit Mistress of Master if you must)

Oh dear gawd, I hate the word "true." As if vanilla relationships aren't true. Or Dominant/submissive relationships aren't "true", or wolf/bitch relationships aren't true. LOL. It is an overused word. And deep emotional nuances? BDSM relationships are no deeper than any other relationship, no matter what your mentor may have told you. What matters, IMHO, is the quality of your personal relationship with the person you are with. Not that it is BDSM. But the depth and breadth and hard work that you put into that particular relationship. Quell the fairy tales. Relationships are all hard work, not just BDSM relationships.

I think that Master/Slave relationships are unrealistic - no one can operate 24/7.

Ummm, wrong. Ask Catalina and Francisco that. JM and myself seem to be managing just fine as well. See answer above. It's about the RELATIONSHIP not so much about the BDSM.

I think that as long as you're operating under the terms of SSC and getting sated (or not as the case may be) that this is all that matters.

For the most part, I agreed with this. RACK was the addition I would have liked to have seen there as well.

I dislike labeling myself or others. I am my own person, I like what I like and that's enough for me.

Labels are handy. I like my label. It handily lets people know where I stand. It lets you know that I am NOT a money domme. *snicker* Just a quiet, little owned submissive living her life of harmony here in service. *grin* I am my own person. I am his person too. I like labels if others choose to give them to themselves. Makes it easier for me.

I am unclear on the differences implied by these terms.

I wouldn't say THAT.

I consider myself a pet or by some other term that this poll doesn't cover.

I think we've covered that nicely.



~anelize

 

[Krinaia]

Thank you for your thoughts anelize!!

I was mostly hoping the poll would spark conversation like yours so I do appreciate it. That seems to be the misunderstanding, people think I want to use my biased polls for data or scientific numbers which is far from true. To me, the poll was a way to spark some conversation and hopefully get some insight. And you did that wonderfully so with your permission, I might reitterate the point you're making - it isn't the methodology that makes the relationship worthwhile and meaningful but the relationship itself. Which I tend to agree with. But I'm definitely interested to see if anyone disagrees.

 

[dragonlace]

I chose the i am me option because whether at work or whether someone labels me submissive or slave or bottom i am just me, label me what you want its not gonna change who i am. I do think that sometimes labels help us but the only labels that matter are the ones that we choose for ourselves, that we feel represent us as close as possible.

 

[TigerClaw]

Hi Hon hope you are well.

None of them fit. The closest was the second

"I think that basically everyone can admit to being dominant/dommes or submissive "

and

"Dislike Labeling"

I chose the first. No one in a relationship is actually equal in any kind of a relationship. (Vanilla or otherwise) One usually will rely more on the other to some degree. True, there usually are strengths that both partners have and each will rely on the others strength. But where they are equally strong or weak one usually will follow the other.

When a comfort and respect level is reached on those certain issues one will lead.

Here it is just taken to a higher level of exchange.

 

[DVS]

For the most part, many labels suck. Some are not so confining, but some are very confining. And, some can be sexist, racist, individualist, and separatist, among other things.

Be what you are and let others do the same. Live and let live. The only way to be.