Input, please.

[MissTaken]

As part of the divorce process, I have the option of using my maiden name.

I have always preferred my maiden name, especially now, but wondered what sort of impact having a different name from my children might have on the little ones.

Thoughts?

 

[*bratcat*]

 

[Guest]

It would depend on so many variables.

Just remember that your comfort and happiness also has a big impact.....

Good luck

 

[MissTaken]

Thank you, brat, for your candor.

And storm, you are absolutely right. There is a lot to consider.

 

[lilminx]

Working in a very urban area, most of my students have different last names from their moms, dads, or both. I don't think it bothers them.

My parents got separated when I was 6; my mom immediately started using her maiden name. It didn't bother me to have a different last name than her, but I decided to change my name to my mom's maiden name when I was older for other reasons.


I think you should do what makes you happy.

 

[enjoyingitall]

*

 

[Monazwx]

MissT

Do whatever makes you feel comfortable. As long as the kids know that they're loved by both parents, who cares whose name they have.

But if everything you have (passport, driver's license, credit cards, etc.) are in your marriage name, you'll need a lot of patience in switching everything back.

Good luck, take care.

 

[monster666]

Damn, with a thread topic like "Input Please" I thought you were going to ask for sex. Oh well.

 

[MissTaken]

Thanks everyone!

(even the big green guy who brought me a chuckle!)

 

[JazzManJim]

I think maybe that your kids haivng the same name as you makes a difference.

The belief caused me to make one of the toughest decisions of my life.

When my daughter was born, my fiancee and I were still engaged, and still very much within a couple months of getting married. There ended up being a breakup months later, and my ex asked me to sign off on changing my daughter's last name from mine to hers. I do see the merits in having her name the same as her mother's and, even though it hurt me very, very much, I assented because of it. I am still her father, regardless of her middle name, and it will most likely make her life easier.

I'm sure that's worth the hurt I feel still.

 

[HotXBunz]

I kept my married name so the girls and I would have the same last name. At thanksgiving dinner we were all laughing about me having the "wrong" last name. Both of them are married now.

I think it helped them while growing up and I know it burned the hell out of my ex. Call it a twofer. LOL

 

[SexySlut2]

I think you should do what will make you happiest. I went back to my maiden name after my divorce and my children were fine with it. They are proud of who they are and not at all concerned about the different last names.

 

[just pet]

When I got divorced, I didn't change my name. I tell everyone I kept my children's last name.

pet

 

[Debbie]

This is what may seem a small decision but it is a very personal one for me. (Or it was at the time of my divorce.)
I reverted to my maiden name after a lot of thought and talking to my kids. Explaining to them that I wanted to go back to my maiden name. They kept their family name which is important to me that they did so. No problems.
Except for parent interviews when the teachers constantly call you Mrs. but that worked out in the end. For me there was a bad taste in my mouth every time someone called me Mrs.
It brought back memories I didn't want. I wanted my identity
back not who he tried to make me.
My kids don't mind at all that their last name is different to me.

 

[Synnerman]

I grew up in a family with two Last names. Mom remarried after the divorce. Other than a little confusion when my friends tried for a phone listing. I didn't have a problem with it. After I was of legal age my brother and I changed our names to match the rest of the family but it was out of respect to Dad, not a feeling of need.

By the way, the phone company added another listing in the name of my brother and I so that ceased to be an annoyance.

Miss T, I say go for what feels good.

 

[Synnerman]

I almost forgot. Call me when the divorce goes through. I fix broken hearts. Help in getting back into circulation. Oh yes, did I mention I work cheap?

I know divorce is no laughing matter but most times it beats the alternative.

 

[Lady_Sam]

Miss T I'm there with you. My son's father and I never married, but he bears his father's surname. But I also had a different last name from my mother from the time I was 17, I have a younger sister who's last name is different from mine and from my mother's (her father passed away and my mother remarried). I haven't noticed my sister suffering any identity crisis with the difference. Children are more resilient than we often give them credit for.