Incurable Ear-Worms

[shereads]

Warning: This is about to get ugly. Perdita, you may wish to look away.













Little boxes on the hillside,
Little boxes made of ticky tacky
Little boxes on the hillside,
Little boxes all the same,
There's a green one and a pink one
And a blue one and a yellow one
And they're all made out of ticky tacky
And they all look just the same.

And the people in the houses
All went to the university
Where they were put in boxes
And they came out all the same
And there's doctors and lawyers
And business executives
And they're all made out of ticky tacky
And they all look just the same.

And they all play on the golf course
And drink their martinis dry
And they all have pretty children
And the children go to school,
And the children go to summer camp
And then to the university
Where they are put in boxes
And they come out all the same.

And the boys go into business
And marry and raise a family
In boxes made of ticky tacky
And they all look just the same,
There's a green one and a pink one
And a blue one and a yellow one
And they're all made out of ticky tacky
And they all look just the same.

 

[minsue]

Now that's going to drive me insane, Sher, but it's because I DON'T remember the tune!

- Mindy, still humming jeremaih was a bullfrog damnit!

 

[Guest]

I remember the tune, and I like that song. It was written for the then new houses being built in Daly City (next to SF). P.

 

[minsue]

The words go through my head whenever I drive through any of the newer neighborhoods. All have HOAs so all the houses are even painted the same damn color. It drives me nuts because I don't remember the tune.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

I've been holding out on this one, but Mindy, for your sake I'll go ahead.

Ahem...

It's a world of laughter
A world of tears
It's a world of hopes
And a world of fears
There's so much that we share
That it's time we're aware
It's a small world after all

There is just one moon
And one golden sun
And a smile means
Friendship to every one
Though the mountains divide
And the oceans are wide
It's a small world after all

It's a small world after
It's a small world after all
It's a small world after all
It's a small, small world

(Repeat whole song)

Love to all, in this small world, this lovely Valentine's Day.

~lucky

P.S. IT'S SNOWING IN TEXAS!!! Weird...it hasn't really snowed here since I was seven and now we've got a few inches on the ground. People are 'attempting' to drive and it's cracking me up to watch them slide past the stop sign in front of my house

 

[Guest]

"Small World": EVIL

Had not thought of that 'song' since I took my sons to Disneyland 20 some years ago. Curses on you, ella.

P.

 

[shereads]

I've been holding out on this one, but Mindy, for your sake I'll go ahead.

Ahem...

It's a world of laughter
A world of tears
It's a world of hopes
And a world of fears
There's so much that we share
That it's time we're aware
It's a small world after all

There is just one moon
And one golden sun
And a smile means
Friendship to every one
Though the mountains divide
And the oceans are wide
It's a small world after all

It's a small world after
It's a small world after all
It's a small world after all
It's a small, small world

(Repeat whole song)

Love to all, in this small world, this lovely Valentine's Day.

~lucky

Aaaiiiiieeeee....Used to wonder if any of the kids who worked the line at the Small World ride would ever become random snipers...Were either of those Washington/Virginia area snipers ever exposed to the song? That would have made an effective defense.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

Disco. Disco Duck.

I got a special request for this song yesterday and as I can't sleep, I thought I'd pull this thread out of the basement and dust it off.



I've also been missing Josh Griefer and wonder if this might get him to come back around.



For all of you new people, hop on in. The water's perfect and the music...well it's catchy!



Do - a deer, a female deer
Re - a drop of golden sun
Mi - a name I call myself
Fa - a long, long way to run
So - a needle pulling thread
La - a note to follow So
Ti - a drink with jam and bread
That will bring us back to Do

*repeat*

~lucky

p.s. All sleeping pills and tranqulizer offers will be accepted to

Lucky 11
6969 Bite Me Ave.
Don't Mess With, TX 00068 (you do me and I'll owe you one)

 

[shereads]

Do - a deer, a female deer
Re - a drop of golden sun
Mi - a name I call myself
Fa - a long, long way to run
So - a needle pulling thread
La - a note to follow So
Ti - a drink with jam and bread
That will bring us back to Do

*repeat*

~lucky

Bitch.

 

[shereads]

Some of you are not old enough to remember the era when Nancy Sinatra's dad had the power to order songwriters to compose things in his daughter's voice range. But surely you know "These Boots Are Made For Walking"

This duet with Nancy's dad was on the flip side,* and has the distinction of requiring no vocal range whatsoever:

"Something Stupid."

I know I stand in line
until you think you have the time
to spend an evening with me
something something something lyrics etc.
something something something lyrics etc.

(a rising note is introduced here)

...on a night so blue.
And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like I love you.





*Flip side: an archaic term from the vinyl era.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

Bitch.

Mornin' sweetie!



~lucky

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

Pikers!

http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Acres/8301/anbarnbutterfly.gif



I love you
You love me
We’re a happy family
With a great big hug and
A kiss from me to you
Won’t you say you love me too?

I love you
You love me
We’re best friends like friends
Like friends should be
With a great big hug
And a kiss from me to you
Won’t you say you love me too?

 

[RenzaJones]

Hi my name is what my name is who. Slim shady

 

[RenzaJones]

I know a song that gets on everboydys nerves and this is how it goes. I know a song that gets on everybodys nerves everbodys nerves I know a song that gets on everybodys nerves ans this is how it goes. Etc ect...

*taking a sweeping bow

 

[shereads]

Hi my name is what my name is who. Slim shady

I, um, kind of like that album. I'm in denial about his mysogeny and homophobia and overall worth as a human being. I just like the music...Don't tell anyone.

 

[Guest]

... I'm in denial about his mysogeny and homophobia and overall worth as a human being. I just like the music...

Sher, you need not whisper. I adore R. Wagner's music and will not apologize for it. He was a monster of a human being, his anti-semitism the least of his faults.

Ho yo to ho! Ho yo to ho!*

Perdita

*Valkyrie war cry

 

[cantdog]

Oo Ee Oo Aa Aah

Ting Tang walla-walla Bing Bang

Oo Ee Oo Aa Aah

Ting Tang walla-walla Bing Bang

I asked my friend the Witch Doctor if you didn't love me true...

 

[rgraham666]

Who lives in a pineapple,
under the sea?

I… I… can't go on!

AAAAAGH! I'll talk, I'll talk! Please! No more!

 

[shereads]

Oo Ee Oo Aa Aah

Ting Tang walla-walla Bing Bang

Oo Ee Oo Aa Aah

Ting Tang walla-walla Bing Bang

I asked my friend the Witch Doctor if you didn't love me true...

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Wait, that was rude.

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, thank you.

 

[shereads]

Who lives in a pineapple,
under the sea?

I… I… can't go on!

AAAAAGH! I'll talk, I'll talk! Please! No more!

I've sent for help.

 

[rgraham666]

Oo Ee Oo Aa Aah

Ting Tang walla-walla Bing Bang

Oo Ee Oo Aa Aah

Ting Tang walla-walla Bing Bang

I asked my friend the Witch Doctor if you didn't love me true...

I can still remember Alvin and The Chipmunks singing that one. The originals that is, about forty years ago.

Although I wish I couldn't.

 

[cantdog]

Devilish, isn't it.

I loved it forty years ago.

All my taste was in my mouth at the time, I guess. Sure is hooky, tho.

 

[cantdog]

At the time, I thought it was clever to sing:

Amazing Grace, I love your face,
I love your la---cy nightie!
The moonlight flits across your tits--
O Jesus Christ almighty!

But that belongs in the dangerous ditties thread of unmourned memory.

 

[shereads]

I can still remember Alvin and The Chipmunks singing that one. The originals that is, about forty years ago.

Although I wish I couldn't.

Gee, I want a Hoooola hoop...

I share your pain, rg. This might make you feel better about the Chipmunks - or worse, if you were a fan, as I was when I was five - It's an interview with the band following their failed reunion tour. Apparently they're all broke, and are suing manager Dave...same old, same old. For the complete interview, here's the link to Loosie's site (the interviewer): http://www.loosie.com/words/archives/000118.html

Loosie: We're here in Manhattan with Alvin and the Chipmunks. Your band has accrued many fans over the years. What's been going on between your hiatus and your return to the scene?

Alvin: We live in a shitty flat in Manhattan; Simon is goat fucking whores and Theo's a closet fag. We do shit gigs for a bunch of cow fuckers. That's what's going on. Simon…what in the hell does accrued mean?

(Silent whispers and mumbles)

Alvin: Ahem. I apologize, man. I haven't had my lithium today. I've been smoking a lot more weed than I need to. Please go on.

Loosie: What do you think led to your - how can I put this mildly - downfall? Who's to blame for the waning interest in your group?

Simon: If I may, I'd say that Dave Seville was paramount in both our success and failure. I want to dislike the man but he did provide us a home and a career. However, I know he's mostly responsible for our dire straits now. Dave had the right idea but he just saw dollars signs. I didn't particularly want to go with the "Hip Hop" route that Alvin and Dave touted so highly. I preferred that we continued doing cheesy pop tunes and enjoy a long career of reunion tours, double LP's and endless Muzak feeds in corporate elevators the world over. Yet Dave let greed divide us from him and now, we'd very much like to murder him.

Alvin: Fuck Dave Seville. You see that hoser in the streets…tell him I'm coming for him. I want my damn money. I hope he's reading. You fucking sheister.

Loosie: Theo. How's the recovery from the surgeries been going?

Theodore: Do you mind if I take my shirt off? It's so hot in here. And would you happen to have some chips or something in that bag? I'm a little hungry and it's too warm for me to be walking to that bodega. Well…I feel better about myself. I'm trying to lose about 50 pounds and my therapist - we all have therapists - has given me some hope. He's such a beautiful man inside and out. My heart surgery went well…I can't eat tubs of Chunky Monkey like I used to and performing is tough sometimes. But I'm doing ok. I don't want to really talk about my other surgery just yet. I'm a little shy about that.

Alvin: He's a fag man! All that talking and he coulda summed it up by saying he's a fag. I love him though he's still a fag.

Simon: Alvin! Stop that!

Alvin: OK! OK! Sorry Theo…you little chubby fuck.

Loosie: Alvin, how do you feel about the music of Roc-A-Fella producers Just Blaze and Kanye West and how it correlates with the sound you tried to introduce early on? The sped-up vocal samples seem eerily reminiscent of the work you've done in the past.

Alvin: I think it's rather fucked up how he's stealing our shit. I fucking sent that "Oh Boy" shit to Cam'Ron like a while ago. I said "Yo Cam….look out for your boy!" and this guy's like "Cool…I'll do that". But NO!!! Just Blaze comes out with this "Oh Boy" shit and I'm here sharing this shithole with these two losers. I did that hit, man. Why can't Just Blaze and the Roc go on and admit it?? And that fucker Styles from the Lox?? That fucking "I Get High" shit?? I did that too. Guess what? NO FUCKING LOOT COMES MY WAY! I'm taking Roc-A-Fella out. I'm gonna do a whole diss LP taking those fuckers out…plus that battle shit sold a lot of records for that weak ass Nas LP. I take notes…I do my homework.

Loosie: So I take you're a little undone with them now?

Alvin: Look at me, duke. I used to be a fucking star and now I barely make rent. I had to do this one gig dressed as a fucking Powerball Z character. That's DISRESPECT! I was there before them slanty-eyed fuckers, man! I was running shit on the airwaves…Simon and Theo? Man, please! I was the star of this fucking show. I can't play second fiddle to some funny talking spiked haired fags! I'm a star…I'm undone with EVERYONE! Even these two worthless fucks I live with. I can't take this shit anymore, man.

(Alvin is sobbing uncontrollably)

Loosie: I'm posing this question to the entire band. How are all the legal troubles shaping up?

Simon: Well…I was able to prove that while I did father two chipmunks with a young lass in the borough of Queens, the third child she claimed was my own wasn't mine at all. She was a harlot anyway and I knew this of her. I'm not able to discuss my other legal issues as they are still pending. For real, for real -- just keep in mind that I'm a just chipmunk trying to get a nut.

Theodore: I don't get into trouble like my brothers unless it involves food and a naked chipmunk.

Alvin: Same shit. I did my time for the bank shit and what not. I know I'm a small cat so motherfuckers in jail always fucked with me. I'm saying…I spent so much solitary time it wasn't even funny. I had to shank so many dudes, man. I'm a survivor. But legally I can't discuss no more than that.

Loosie: Do you plan to release any new material in the coming year or is performing the way to go?

Alvin: Well..I'm coming out with a rap joint like I said earlier. And I want to do some Spanish-language songs - that Latin shit is the hotness. I'm trying to get paid on some Marc Anthony shit.

Simon: It's been difficult but with nostalgia being all the rage and the whole "full-circle" concept of music, I'm confident we'll do something the fans can and will enjoy. Plus cocaine prices are skyrocketing and I need to supplement my habit income.

Theodore: As long as the food's there, I'm there. Feed me and I'm playing.

Alvin: Yo man…I think we're done here. I'm starting to finger my gun's trigger a little too much and it'd be a good idea if we wrapped this up.

Loosie: Ahem…any last thoughts? Any words of wisdom you'd like to impart?

Simon: Whores are our friends. Anyone who'd give you oral favors for 25 bucks is nothing but a pal in the end.

Theodore: I'm gonna be looking cute when we go on tour, ya'll so holla!

Alvin: Man…fuck you and loan me 10 dollars before I hurt you. Stop the tape. Stop the fucking tape already!!

 

[minsue]

That was quite clever and cute, sher, but I still don't forgive you for the goddamned hula hoop!

- Mindy, who has that record album (A Chipmunk Christmas) in a box around here somewhere...