Increase in Bi-Curious Women

[Doc_Quack]

On a totally tangential note, the fact that Butters (Leopold Stotch) in South Park referred to himself as bicurious in that South Park episode has been one of the funniest things I've seen in a long time!

Not sure how many have seen the episode to identify the reference. Thank God for us getting South Park here in Norway!

Butters is a hoot.

 

[Somehowyou]

I would love to meet a good and decent guy that would accept me for who and what I am, not expecting me to have the body of a goddess.
Veronica

I saw the pictures of your tits and your body is sexy and I would give your body the kinky love it deserves.

 

[firestorm2]

just because i have had my fair share of jerks, don't mean i am giveing
up on men , never been with a woman before,and i have fantasized about it,
so i am bi-curious.

 

[ManInIronMask]

In all honesty, much applause, love and respect to all bi-curious women, so long as they just go out on loan, much like David Beckham has gone on to AC Milan from the LA Galaxy team

Everyone knows that even though he might not serve too much purpose by warming the benches at the San Siro, he'll nevertheless return to play for the Galaxy later, like you lovely bicurious women will (I'm hopeful), get back on our team.

However, I'm curious to know how many bicurious women have *actually* made that transition, that leap of faith towards playing entirely for the other side and never looked back? I'm sure there's lots of Ross Geller-ish guys who'd be out here poring their sob story should they chance upon this.

 

[Starra]

Contrary to popular belief, bisexuality is not a layaway on the road towards homosexuality. So no, we bi women are not turning our back on men. We simply also enjoy the female form.

I ponder the possibility that some men cannot conceive of a thought that women might *actually* have sexual experiences and fantasies where a penis is not involved. And the further thought occurs that perhaps they don't realise we can switch willy nilly (no pun intended) between our attractions at any given moment.

We haven't left a team. It's so typically a bi-ignorant comment to hear to be questioned why we can't "pick a side". Dontcha get it? There IS no side for us. We like both sides, and damned if we are going to be told to return to a team! Especially when we spent so long coming to terms with the fact that we even liked any other team in the first place.

So, give us a break. Bi women are no enigma. We aren't some strange species who beamed down to Earth and started 'stealing' good ol' straight women to re-jig their minds. Bisexuality is here, all around you. Just accept it and realise that male ignorance of it only makes women retreat further and further away into lesbianism.

 

[stinkyfingers]

spoken like a true lesbian! ...just kidding! You all are sisters in one way or another. All men want women to be bi or lesbian.. just not the ones that leave them for another woman. Thats gotta hurt.

 

[mark_j]

spoken like a true lesbian! ...just kidding! You all are sisters in one way or another. All men want women to be bi or lesbian.. just not the ones that leave them for another woman. Thats gotta hurt.

If that is the case then the relationship was screwed from the beginning... and her being bi had nothing to do with it... could have just as well been another man..

 

[lady_poisyn]

i love guys, have only been with guys so far (though more then a few were assholes) but i have always wanted to be with a woman, have always love womens breasts just as much as any male i've met, in porn it's the woman who gets me the hottest.
all of that being said, if i ever found a woman i could be with, i would want her to be open to adding a male as well.
now men not understanding this sexual attraction can be very annoying, my ex-husband for example used to push hard for a 3 some anytime i made a female friend i could play flirt with (girls are the same as guys, just because i'll flirt with them, doesn't mean i want to jump in bed.)
maybe i'm just expecting too much to want to have a male and female partner, but i think i have the room in my heart and bed for both, but i'll probly never get to find out. *shrugs* a girl can wish.
still looking for a guy currently even if there are days i just want to give up and just start to look for girls

 

[Starra]

If that is the case then the relationship was screwed from the beginning... and her being bi had nothing to do with it... could have just as well been another man..

Here here. People don't leave relationships for other people (regardless of their sexuality) because the relationship was good, now do they?

 

[Starra]

i love guys, have only been with guys so far (though more then a few were assholes) but i have always wanted to be with a woman, have always love womens breasts just as much as any male i've met, in porn it's the woman who gets me the hottest.
all of that being said, if i ever found a woman i could be with, i would want her to be open to adding a male as well.
now men not understanding this sexual attraction can be very annoying, my ex-husband for example used to push hard for a 3 some anytime i made a female friend i could play flirt with (girls are the same as guys, just because i'll flirt with them, doesn't mean i want to jump in bed.)
maybe i'm just expecting too much to want to have a male and female partner, but i think i have the room in my heart and bed for both, but i'll probly never get to find out. *shrugs* a girl can wish.
still looking for a guy currently even if there are days i just want to give up and just start to look for girls

I feel for you Lady. I am lucky that i have a husband who is not only bi himself, but very supportive of my desires to have relationships with women. I have had girlfriends before and that has never taken any love away from my husband. In fact, it has enhanced it.

The two lines which i have put in bold go some ways to identifying why maybe some bi/bi curious women dismiss men completely in the end. As i said, it is mainly male bi-ignorance that pushes bi women into ONLY female arms, which - in your case - would be by expecting something in return such as a threesome.

 

[mark_j]

I feel for you Lady. I am lucky that i have a husband who is not only bi himself, but very supportive of my desires to have relationships with women. I have had girlfriends before and that has never taken any love away from my husband. In fact, it has enhanced it.

The two lines which i have put in bold go some ways to identifying why maybe some bi/bi curious women dismiss men completely in the end. As i said, it is mainly male bi-ignorance that pushes bi women into ONLY female arms, which - in your case - would be by expecting something in return such as a threesome.

Do you know how prevalent this is? Just about every "we want a third" add in swingers sites and others like it are based on the comment in bold. Seems sort of selfish really.. He's willing to share her but only if it is with another woman.. so therefor he gets something out of the deal...

I've said this before but it bears repeating...

Guys.. If your lady is bi or bi-curious, let her act on it if she chooses. It isn't a threat to you or your manhood, its just another aspect of her sexuality.. If she chooses to include you into that deal with her female lover so be it. Don't expect or push for it because you will push her away..

 

[Julie_in_the_north]

It's an interesting and complex question. My instinct is that there are no more or fewer bi-curious women than ever before. Sexuality, I suspect, comes from deep within, rather than being influenced by external trends. The likelihood is that bisexual women nowadays just find it easier to speak publicly about their inclinations.

For several years, and perhaps still, I identified as truly bisexual, and I wholeheartedly agree with what Starra was saying...we just enjoy both men and women, equally. It's as simple as that. I'm aroused by both the penis and the vagina. For a while I alterated between relationships with men and women, and found the complementary experiences very sexually fulfilling. The similarities and differences - the different emotions, power-balance, also the anatomy and physicality...and even funny things like the different smells of men and women.

And it's not just sex - there's romance too. I fell in love with both men and women - or was at least romantically attracted to people of both gender. And when you fall in love with someone, man or woman, you want to express and fulfil that love through sex - the intimacy of physical union; sharing orgasms with them

As for how, why, and whether, bisexual women may drift towards full lesbianism - that's a particularly complicated one. Ultimately, the process is probably most often a case of a truth being revealed, rather than the woman changing. In other words, if she ends up umambiguously lesbian, the chances are she has always been a lesbian, but went on a journey before she discovered that. Not always, though. In my case, I'm not sure. I increasingly regard myself nowadays as a lesbian, not bisexual - but I ascribe that chiefly to being in a long-term relationship with the woman I love.

 

[Starra]

Do you know how prevalent this is? Just about every "we want a third" add in swingers sites and others like it are based on the comment in bold. Seems sort of selfish really.. He's willing to share her but only if it is with another woman.. so therefor he gets something out of the deal...

I've said this before but it bears repeating...

Guys.. If your lady is bi or bi-curious, let her act on it if she chooses. It isn't a threat to you or your manhood, its just another aspect of her sexuality.. If she chooses to include you into that deal with her female lover so be it. Don't expect or push for it because you will push her away..

I totally agree with your first comments. As someone whom is part of two swingers forums (though i consider myself to be a bisexual swinger, which, i think, is different, but that's not my point) i have noticed the ridiculous volumes of couples stating they only want a single bi female. I do think it's selfish. Not just on the wife/gf who does not get to feel the touch of another man, yet her male partner gets the touch of another female, but also on the genuine couples out there (such as me and hubby) who would love to meet another open-minded couple. We are suddenly priced out of the market because we ARE a couple.

As for the second point, i don't know if i strictly agree with it. In some ways, i can see what you're saying. But i don't think that realising one's sexuality gives a person licence to go outside of an existing relationship. it should only be if thw two of you are 100% happy with that, otherwise it really is unfair. I also take exception to the use of the word "let". My husband doesn't 'let' me act on my attractions for women, he is ok with it. To 'let' implies that he owns me (or indeed any man of their female partner). Of course, i don't think we need to argue semantics here, because i can see what you're saying. I just wanted to focus on the word 'let' because it plays further into the previous suggestion that women can be compared to David Beckham being 'lent out' to another football team.

 

[mark_j]

I totally agree with your first comments. As someone whom is part of two swingers forums (though i consider myself to be a bisexual swinger, which, i think, is different, but that's not my point) i have noticed the ridiculous volumes of couples stating they only want a single bi female. I do think it's selfish. Not just on the wife/gf who does not get to feel the touch of another man, yet her male partner gets the touch of another female, but also on the genuine couples out there (such as me and hubby) who would love to meet another open-minded couple. We are suddenly priced out of the market because we ARE a couple.

Then you know the term "unicorn"... the interesting dynamic is that couples who advertise for female only are generally male driven.. she may have interest but i'd be willing to bet he's pushing on it.. And i'm well aware of the "lifestyle" and its dynamics, having been in it in the past..

As for the second point, i don't know if i strictly agree with it. In some ways, i can see what you're saying. But i don't think that realising one's sexuality gives a person licence to go outside of an existing relationship. it should only be if thw two of you are 100% happy with that, otherwise it really is unfair. I also take exception to the use of the word "let". My husband doesn't 'let' me act on my attractions for women, he is ok with it. To 'let' implies that he owns me (or indeed any man of their female partner). Of course, i don't think we need to argue semantics here, because i can see what you're saying. I just wanted to focus on the word 'let' because it plays further into the previous suggestion that women can be compared to David Beckham being 'lent out' to another football team.

okay i wont argue the semantics since you understood what i meant.. and no i don't think it gives license to go outside the primary relationship.. but again you understood basically what i meant even if i didn't use the correct relative terms

 

[Starra]

Sorry i argued the semantics. I honestly did 'get' what you meant anyway. Those in the poly community have their own poly dictionary and they have agreat definition for those looking for a single bi woman (i've put in bold the bit that refers to them in particular):

HOT BI BABE (HBB): Colloquial; often derogatory, condescending, or ironic A bisexual person, usually though not always female, who is willing to join an existing couple, often with the presumption that this person will date and become sexually involved with both members of that couple, and not demand anything or do anything which might cause problems or inconvenience to that couple. The term is often used to be dismissive of a couple seen to be only superficially polyamorous, as They're just looking for a hot bi babe. Such a person may be referred to as a "mythical hot bi babe." Some members of the polyamory community self-identify as hot bi babes as a form of tongue-in-cheek intentional irony.

It made me chuckle when i read it because it totally epitamises how most feel about these kinds of people. Incidentally, one of my ex-girlfriends is the mythical hot bi babe. She is willing to meet couples for a threesome but she would only do so if she established a connection with the woman first and grew to care for both of them. I have never encountered even ONE woman online, or otherwise, who would just be willing to meet a couple for a random threesome hook-up though, so i do think they are quite 'mythical'.

I totally agree that couples looking for a female are very male-driven. I find it very sad to think that some women are willing to still be led by their male partner, it takes us women way back to the 50's!

 

[avvikande]

Guys.. If your lady is bi or bi-curious, let her act on it if she chooses. It isn't a threat to you or your manhood, its just another aspect of her sexuality.. If she chooses to include you into that deal with her female lover so be it. Don't expect or push for it because you will push her away..

Precisely. I do not know how many men I have encountered that believed I was some type of arm charm to attract a 2nd woman to the bedroom. Oh, you're bi? Great, I'd love to watch/participate/take pictures/pretend I'm Steven Spielberg...

what woman is going to feel comfortable in this type of scenario? A situation that someone forced on her? No one.

I have been with each type, the couple that agree to play together in which she wanted to the 2nd female involved with them both, and the couple where he was pushing to be involved with the 2nd female ... and I don't need to give you many guesses on which one was the most enjoyable for the women involved.

My advice to any woman whom finds themselves involved in this type of scenario, where another female wants to play but is being pressured by her partner for him to have involvement - ignore him. Completely focus on her. Make sure she can see that you are giving him a cold shoulder. It will still not be the best encounter, but she will appreciate that you have made efforts to put her at ease.

 

[stinkyfingers]

All guys have to do is read all this going on about the exact "details"of this sort of thing to get bored with it. Guys want to watch women eat each other out while fucking them. Its pretty simple. All these posts turn into sausage fests of guys thinking about all these "mythical" bi-women who dont exist. The way that the media and porn present young hot girls who love to make out has misguided our whole society into thinking this is a reality. Sadly I like most men are a victim to it as I sit here and read (and comment) on it. I do refuse the notion that men are "not needed" anymore. I think it would be difficult and exciting to be married to a truly bi-sexual woman. Who knows maybe I am.

 

[Starra]

Precisely. I do not know how many men I have encountered that believed I was some type of arm charm to attract a 2nd woman to the bedroom. Oh, you're bi? Great, I'd love to watch/participate/take pictures/pretend I'm Steven Spielberg...

what woman is going to feel comfortable in this type of scenario? A situation that someone forced on her? No one.

I have been with each type, the couple that agree to play together in which she wanted to the 2nd female involved with them both, and the couple where he was pushing to be involved with the 2nd female ... and I don't need to give you many guesses on which one was the most enjoyable for the women involved.

Absolutely! As a prime example, take the recent experience my husband and i had with a girlfriend i was with back in April/May. I had taken her to my uni May Ball, had a fab time just me and her. We arrived home early the next morning, still a bit drunk and very horny. Hubby was asleep on the sofa, bless him. I don't know how things happened. I guess my (now ex) gf was so utterly blown away by how generous my hubby had been in paying for her ball ticket and sleeping on the sofa, so she could share the bed with me, that she just felt compelled to hug him whilst he was sleeping. Or maybe she had already decided she'd love to include him, who knows? But anyway, we did have some fun all three of us. It was totally unplanned and felt so natural. Hubby was caring and gentle, and he absolutely respected both of us. He even asked me and her if it was ok to kiss her. THAT is how a man ends up in bed with two women, respect. Afterwards we all fell asleep intertwined and my girlfriend stated to me later that she had felt it was "an enchanting experience" ! It had brought us all closer together.

Now, if i turn that situation around and say that my hubby had demanded a threesome in exchange for the payment of the ball tickets (or some other ridiculous ultimatum) you would no doubt have heard a vvery different take on the experience, both by me and by my then girlfriend. I am so glad that my husband isn't like that, and actually...he was invited into the experience because he isn't like that. *Sigh* If only more men would realise that they need to respect their female partners, and, indeed, her girlfriend.

 

[FitfunWoman]

Good points

It's an interesting and complex question. My instinct is that there are no more or fewer bi-curious women than ever before. Sexuality, I suspect, comes from deep within, rather than being influenced by external trends. The likelihood is that bisexual women nowadays just find it easier to speak publicly about their inclinations.

For several years, and perhaps still, I identified as truly bisexual, and I wholeheartedly agree with what Starra was saying...we just enjoy both men and women, equally. It's as simple as that. I'm aroused by both the penis and the vagina. For a while I alterated between relationships with men and women, and found the complementary experiences very sexually fulfilling. The similarities and differences - the different emotions, power-balance, also the anatomy and physicality...and even funny things like the different smells of men and women.

And it's not just sex - there's romance too. I fell in love with both men and women - or was at least romantically attracted to people of both gender. And when you fall in love with someone, man or woman, you want to express and fulfil that love through sex - the intimacy of physical union; sharing orgasms with them

As for how, why, and whether, bisexual women may drift towards full lesbianism - that's a particularly complicated one. Ultimately, the process is probably most often a case of a truth being revealed, rather than the woman changing. In other words, if she ends up umambiguously lesbian, the chances are she has always been a lesbian, but went on a journey before she discovered that. Not always, though. In my case, I'm not sure. I increasingly regard myself nowadays as a lesbian, not bisexual - but I ascribe that chiefly to being in a long-term relationship with the woman I love.

I agree with what you say about how our current culture does make it seem MUCH easier for women to admit to wanting, and then pursuing, some form of same-sex intimacy. I am probably older than most who are on here (I just turned 50) and I dated women both in my college days as well as in my 40's. Back then, "lesbians" were scary, smelly, predatory creatures who did seek to permanently convert women to the sapphic sisterhood. There was not, as far as I can recall, any concept of a woman's bisexuality as defined by her wanting to enjoy romance and passion with people of different genders.

I do think that some women these days (I really sound old) do use their "bisexuality" as a hook to get guys interested in them. In my college days, I'd never have kissed a girlfriend to get guys to buy us drinks; something I have seen a time or two since being single in my 40's, and when I have been out and about. It does lead to an interesting question of what being a bisexual woman means... is a married woman who enjoys FMF threesomes with her husband bisexual? How about a single woman who is monogamously dating another woman, but one who has dated men in her past? For me and this is just my definition (and I tend to think these definitions are as individual as those giving them), a woman is bisexual if she has been on an actual date with another woman (and not just a coffee date before "hooking up"), if she has had sex with another woman (of course) where it was just those two sans participation or voyeurism from others, and if she was sober while doing all of the above. The last bit I add as a piece of snark aimed at David Spade's line about every woman is just 5 drinks away from her first girl on girl experience.

 

[A_Day_Dreamer]

Personally, I'm looking forward to being with another woman, part of a couple or not, as an addition to my sex life with hubby. He's going to be there... he's the person I'm in love with even though I'm attracted to women and other men. He's supporting this curiosity I have and whether it be a woman or another man I'm with he's part of it. So no matter how curious I get I'm always going to want him and his bits when all is said and done. If I had never found him and I was in love with someone else it would be the same... my curiosity would not replace the person I'm with.
I know I'm VERY lucky to have him as he knows he's just as lucky to have me... we compliment and understand each other perfectly.
I have a horrible head cold and my mind is a little fuzzy so I hope that makes sense.

 

[FitfunWoman]

Then you just are bisexual, IMHO. I have to say that I really dislike the "bisexual" label, as as it's not like there was a time when I referred to myself as "heterosexually curious". Speaking as someone who has been with women new to being with women, those who are attracted to women above and beyond an incidental sexual thrill have always seemed to me far less nervous and far less apprehensive about putting in some sort of performance; they more seem to accept and enjoy the ebb and flow of things.

 

[brunettegirl311]

i love guys, have only been with guys so far (though more then a few were assholes) but i have always wanted to be with a woman, have always love womens breasts just as much as any male i've met, in porn it's the woman who gets me the hottest.
all of that being said, if i ever found a woman i could be with, i would want her to be open to adding a male as well.
now men not understanding this sexual attraction can be very annoying, my ex-husband for example used to push hard for a 3 some anytime i made a female friend i could play flirt with (girls are the same as guys, just because i'll flirt with them, doesn't mean i want to jump in bed.)
maybe i'm just expecting too much to want to have a male and female partner, but i think i have the room in my heart and bed for both, but i'll probly never get to find out. *shrugs* a girl can wish.
still looking for a guy currently even if there are days i just want to give up and just start to look for girls

I think I have to agree with you 100%!

 

[FitfunWoman]

I think I have to agree with you 100%!

I agree as well. There is something fun about having a close, sensual friendship with another woman. Often it is less about SEX!!! than it is about sharing sex, if that makes sense? I've never turned down flat a request from a woman friend to have me join her and her husband/boyfriend/fuckbuddy, but I have turned these offers down when meeting him and really getting the sense he wants to recreate some scene he saw in some bad porn movie.

A current friend of mine, having just gotten out of her 20-year marriage, is enjoying dating women for really the first time in her life. While she had been with women while married it was either furtive or controlled. I now can understand the smiles she has on her face when we meet for lunch.

 

[brunettegirl311]

I agree as well. There is something fun about having a close, sensual friendship with another woman. Often it is less about SEX!!! than it is about sharing sex, if that makes sense? I've never turned down flat a request from a woman friend to have me join her and her husband/boyfriend/fuckbuddy, but I have turned these offers down when meeting him and really getting the sense he wants to recreate some scene he saw in some bad porn movie.

A current friend of mine, having just gotten out of her 20-year marriage, is enjoying dating women for really the first time in her life. While she had been with women while married it was either furtive or controlled. I now can understand the smiles she has on her face when we meet for lunch.

I would much rather have a girl approach me about it than a guy. The last time I went and visited my best friend we were drinking wine and skinny dipping in her hot tub talking about how we would both like to try it but could never do it with each other. But I agree that having a close sensual friendship with another woman is great.

 

[jaded_lily]

Guys.. If your lady is bi or bi-curious, let her act on it if she chooses. It isn't a threat to you or your manhood, its just another aspect of her sexuality.. If she chooses to include you into that deal with her female lover so be it. Don't expect or push for it because you will push her away..

Thank you for this comment...........