Improve the Perfect Poem

[Syndra Lynn]

Would the following poem be better WITHOUT the fifth stanza?



The Perfect Poem
by Syndra Lynn ©

It’s in me. I can feel it
like that tickle before you sneeze
or the ache of hunger

I can sense it
like the scent of Spring lilacs
before you know they’re in bloom

I can see it
neat black words perfectly arranged
and shining like new copper

I can hear the meter clicking
tick-tock-ticking, with rhymes
sometimes in the middle of lines

and because it’s the best
it won’t let me rest
I toss in my bed
as it turns in my head

It’s right on the tip of my tongue
so close I can taste it!
So why can’t I write it?



I appreciate your input.

Syn

 

[Kundalinguini]

Yes.

(Nice poem, Syn.)