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Dill took the words out of my mouth!!
Important - Please Read
- Thread starter Dillinger
- Start date
Caria Knight
Really Experienced
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- Dec 23, 2001
- Posts
- 252
I don't get much time for the boards so unfortunitly I didn't get to read this entire thread. I did however do as requested and read your entire post Dillinger and am now commenting.
As for the boards, I do the same. Unfortunitly as with any type of community there will always be some assholes that just don't show any respect at all. I've seen large displays of support for some and minimal to now support for others when attacked. I think that also goes to how much respect they have gained or lost from the others in the community. Most of the time I don't show an outword display of support for anyone here though. There's two main reasons for that. First, I really don't know anyone here yet. So they have yet to gain or loose my respect. Second is because when I do want to show it, it's usually a thread that most want (by the time I read it) to drop off and die. I feel that by not posting my support I am actually showing respect by letting the issue at hand die.
I have noticed one very heart warming thing in this communtiy. Though it can't be directly seen, it seems that there is a lot of behind the sceens support for everyone here. I've seen numerous posts where PM's of support are mentioned and that makes it easier for me not to post to a thread that should sink back into the sewers. All in all, I'd have to say that I'm glad I'm here and hope one day to be closer to the rest of you.
This is exactly how I see things. I give everyone a basic degree of respect and they either earn a higher level or loose all of my respect.Dillinger said:
As for the boards, I do the same. Unfortunitly as with any type of community there will always be some assholes that just don't show any respect at all. I've seen large displays of support for some and minimal to now support for others when attacked. I think that also goes to how much respect they have gained or lost from the others in the community. Most of the time I don't show an outword display of support for anyone here though. There's two main reasons for that. First, I really don't know anyone here yet. So they have yet to gain or loose my respect. Second is because when I do want to show it, it's usually a thread that most want (by the time I read it) to drop off and die. I feel that by not posting my support I am actually showing respect by letting the issue at hand die.
I have noticed one very heart warming thing in this communtiy. Though it can't be directly seen, it seems that there is a lot of behind the sceens support for everyone here. I've seen numerous posts where PM's of support are mentioned and that makes it easier for me not to post to a thread that should sink back into the sewers. All in all, I'd have to say that I'm glad I'm here and hope one day to be closer to the rest of you.
Dillinger
Guerrilla Ontologist
- Joined
- Sep 19, 2000
- Posts
- 26,152
The following was on Lavender's " Gender Differences on the Board" = http://www.literotica.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=69977&perpage=20&pagenumber=2
I don't want to hijack her thread with a discussion that better belongs here.
There's more you can check the other thread if you want to read it.
I'm sorry Lobito that I have done such a bad job communicating here that you have gotten such an opinion of my intent. You are way off base as to what I was trying to communicate. For you, and for any others, who think that was my intent - you are wrong.
I will let pagancowgirl's response to Lobito speak for me:
EXACTLY! Thank you.
I don't want to hijack her thread with a discussion that better belongs here.
lobito said:
There's more you can check the other thread if you want to read it.
I'm sorry Lobito that I have done such a bad job communicating here that you have gotten such an opinion of my intent. You are way off base as to what I was trying to communicate. For you, and for any others, who think that was my intent - you are wrong.
I will let pagancowgirl's response to Lobito speak for me:
pagancowgirl said:
EXACTLY! Thank you.
Dillinger
Guerrilla Ontologist
- Joined
- Sep 19, 2000
- Posts
- 26,152
cymbidia said:
Yes we are. *smile* Thank you for saying that - it fits right into the point(s) I am trying to make. People are real, even here. Treat them that way! *smile*
And when I see people getting treated poorly here I can only assume that is how that person acts when away from the boards as well... in their "real life."
Because we also get out of this place exactly what we put into it. Some of us bring more of our "real" selves to this place than others to do. Well, that is our choice, each and every one of us.
Those that want to keep it superficial and shallow get the same in return. Those that take it deeper - who share more - whether in public, or through personal correspondance that was started through initial public interaction - get a deeper experience in return. They meet people who make them think, keep them honest, challenge them, support them, listen to them, help them through bad times, share good times... in other words, they make friends.
But - either way. However much of your real self you choose to share - there is still no reason to treat people poorly. Whatever level we choose to interact, we can still do so with respect.
Hamletmaschine
This space for rent
- Joined
- Dec 29, 2001
- Posts
- 9,011
re: Important - please read
Chaos is the rule of nature. Order is the dream of [hu]mankind.
--Henry Adams, “The Virgin and the Dynamo”
As a relative newcomer, I've resisted posting to this thread mainly because Dillinger's original post evoked a sense of some 'gool ol' days' when the BB was . . . different, I guess, from what it is now. Be that as it may, I have enjoyed what I have read by Dillinger, here and elsewhere, and I felt compelled, as you all did, to respond.
Order, harmony, and tranquility are hard-won and fleeting in any community. Disorder, strife, and conflict are the norm. Civility is the necessary fiction we enact in order to hide that truth from ourselves and to keep us from tearing each other and our social groups apart.
Most societies thus have a stake in articulating standards of civility—decorum, tact, sobriety, respectfulness, and so forth—and enforcing them through various disciplinary and penal mechanisms. But this community doesn’t provide us with Literotica ‘parents’ to teach us such things, so far as I know, nor is there some correlate to the ideological state apparatuses of schooling, religion, and law to reinforce the social mores of the community. Consequently, we are each left to our own devices in trying to sort out when, where, how, why, and with whom we can interact, and very often it seems that interaction standards develop on an ad hoc basis, shifting from day-to-day or from thread-to-thread or from moment-to-moment. This should not surprise us.
Comforting though it may be to believe in such things as “common human decency and respect,” I do not believe that they exist. They are socially constructed and variable culturally and historically, and what is “common” in my time and my place can seem odd (or worse) in another time or place. It is common, for example, to display one’s civility and respect by always saying “sir” or “ma’am” to everyone where I live. But where I was born, that practice would seem quaint, artificial. I happen to like the practice, and often do it myself now, and by doing it I signal my belongingness to the community where I live and my respect for the standards of conduct. But should I require all of you to do it, or accuse you of being rude barbarians if you do not?
Usually, when I hear people sounding the “common decency and respect” theme, my radar goes off, and I know it’s time to check my wallet and my back. Because what they usually mean is “my way or the highway”—and of course they usually have clever ways of exempting themselves from the standards they would impose on others. I know that to be true of one member of this community who likes to sound this theme, but that is another story.
As a relative newcomer here and to online communication in general, it may very well be that I have broken some tacit rule or ‘dissed’ someone without realizing it. I have done that in every country I’ve ever visited, I think, and so it’s probably happened here, too. I did not waltz in the door here and expect to be welcomed as an old friend—but I was welcomed by several people and have enjoyed getting to know some of you (albeit slowly and tentatively). This, too, has happened in every country I have visited. I was somewhat surprised at the “troll” phenomenon, as well as the vitriol that spews forth from that “unregistered” person occasionally. However, I am not aware of any significant qualitative difference between how people treat each other here and how we treat each other in ‘real life.’
The only significant difference I have noticed is that people seem freer to talk about sexual matters here than in ‘real life.’ That in itself would make this community ‘uncivil’ to most of the population of this country. But the really surprising thing, to me anyway, is that so many people come here to talk about so many topics—touchy, controversial topics, as well as trivial and inane ones, as I see it—and so little strife develops.
This may not be the utopian community that some would perhaps like it to be, but if you consider that in ‘real life’ people kill each other over differences and conflicts that emerge from discussions like those that appear here, I think this community has much to recommend it.
~H~
Chaos is the rule of nature. Order is the dream of [hu]mankind.
--Henry Adams, “The Virgin and the Dynamo”
As a relative newcomer, I've resisted posting to this thread mainly because Dillinger's original post evoked a sense of some 'gool ol' days' when the BB was . . . different, I guess, from what it is now. Be that as it may, I have enjoyed what I have read by Dillinger, here and elsewhere, and I felt compelled, as you all did, to respond.
Order, harmony, and tranquility are hard-won and fleeting in any community. Disorder, strife, and conflict are the norm. Civility is the necessary fiction we enact in order to hide that truth from ourselves and to keep us from tearing each other and our social groups apart.
Most societies thus have a stake in articulating standards of civility—decorum, tact, sobriety, respectfulness, and so forth—and enforcing them through various disciplinary and penal mechanisms. But this community doesn’t provide us with Literotica ‘parents’ to teach us such things, so far as I know, nor is there some correlate to the ideological state apparatuses of schooling, religion, and law to reinforce the social mores of the community. Consequently, we are each left to our own devices in trying to sort out when, where, how, why, and with whom we can interact, and very often it seems that interaction standards develop on an ad hoc basis, shifting from day-to-day or from thread-to-thread or from moment-to-moment. This should not surprise us.
Comforting though it may be to believe in such things as “common human decency and respect,” I do not believe that they exist. They are socially constructed and variable culturally and historically, and what is “common” in my time and my place can seem odd (or worse) in another time or place. It is common, for example, to display one’s civility and respect by always saying “sir” or “ma’am” to everyone where I live. But where I was born, that practice would seem quaint, artificial. I happen to like the practice, and often do it myself now, and by doing it I signal my belongingness to the community where I live and my respect for the standards of conduct. But should I require all of you to do it, or accuse you of being rude barbarians if you do not?
Usually, when I hear people sounding the “common decency and respect” theme, my radar goes off, and I know it’s time to check my wallet and my back. Because what they usually mean is “my way or the highway”—and of course they usually have clever ways of exempting themselves from the standards they would impose on others. I know that to be true of one member of this community who likes to sound this theme, but that is another story.
As a relative newcomer here and to online communication in general, it may very well be that I have broken some tacit rule or ‘dissed’ someone without realizing it. I have done that in every country I’ve ever visited, I think, and so it’s probably happened here, too. I did not waltz in the door here and expect to be welcomed as an old friend—but I was welcomed by several people and have enjoyed getting to know some of you (albeit slowly and tentatively). This, too, has happened in every country I have visited. I was somewhat surprised at the “troll” phenomenon, as well as the vitriol that spews forth from that “unregistered” person occasionally. However, I am not aware of any significant qualitative difference between how people treat each other here and how we treat each other in ‘real life.’
The only significant difference I have noticed is that people seem freer to talk about sexual matters here than in ‘real life.’ That in itself would make this community ‘uncivil’ to most of the population of this country. But the really surprising thing, to me anyway, is that so many people come here to talk about so many topics—touchy, controversial topics, as well as trivial and inane ones, as I see it—and so little strife develops.
This may not be the utopian community that some would perhaps like it to be, but if you consider that in ‘real life’ people kill each other over differences and conflicts that emerge from discussions like those that appear here, I think this community has much to recommend it.
~H~
espressolover
Hip Shaker
- Joined
- Nov 11, 2001
- Posts
- 3,820
Thank you Hamletmaschine...
I liked your take on our community. Since I read your post, I have to say that I agree with you.
This is a micrcosm of society...and with the topics we are able to discuss and debate I think we do it rather well.
We do have the occasional disagreement and the unfortunate case of the "trolls" every now and then, but that is to be expected.
But I think overall we have a wonderful sense of community and we pull together when thigs get rough~witness the happenings here after 9/11, which I wasn't a part of but went back through and read.
Maybe I seem to look through rose~colored glasses, but that's not it. I know we have problems here.
But overall it's still a very healthy and good community to be a part of.
I liked your take on our community. Since I read your post, I have to say that I agree with you.
This is a micrcosm of society...and with the topics we are able to discuss and debate I think we do it rather well.
We do have the occasional disagreement and the unfortunate case of the "trolls" every now and then, but that is to be expected.
But I think overall we have a wonderful sense of community and we pull together when thigs get rough~witness the happenings here after 9/11, which I wasn't a part of but went back through and read.
Maybe I seem to look through rose~colored glasses, but that's not it. I know we have problems here.
But overall it's still a very healthy and good community to be a part of.
tn_8tiv
Just Me
- Joined
- Nov 15, 2001
- Posts
- 25,277
I have lurked and followed this thread since Dillinger first posted. Quite honestly, I felt any comments I might make would dilute those that Dillinger so eloquently expressed. However, after reading the responses, I now feel it is everyone's responsibility to stand up and be counted.
I am one who believes everyone deserves respect until they prove themselves unworthy of that consideration. When a person lashes out at another without cause, that individual has just committed a viscous act that deserves censure. On numerous occasions I have voiced my displeasure when individuals have spoken viscously about what I consider to be friends here and in other venues. I feel that is not only my right as an individual, but my duty to stand up for what I believe.
There are instances when the thread may call for more light-hearted comments. In those cases, the friendly disagreement and debate may seem to be an attack on the individual making such a comment. I believe we should all be capable of discerning the difference between a viscous attack and such frivolity. But, we should limit our thoughts to the relevance of the thread.
So, after lurking for so long, I will now add to this important thread with my insignificant ideas. Additionally I make this promise and encourage others to make a similar one:
I will give those who take the time to post here the respect they deserve. I will not engage in viscous attacks on any individual. I will contribute to those threads where I feel I can make a contribution and respect those with whom I disagree while expressing my own opinions about the subject matter.
And thanks Dillinger for starting this thread. As usual, your threads are very thought provoking.
Jim
I am one who believes everyone deserves respect until they prove themselves unworthy of that consideration. When a person lashes out at another without cause, that individual has just committed a viscous act that deserves censure. On numerous occasions I have voiced my displeasure when individuals have spoken viscously about what I consider to be friends here and in other venues. I feel that is not only my right as an individual, but my duty to stand up for what I believe.
There are instances when the thread may call for more light-hearted comments. In those cases, the friendly disagreement and debate may seem to be an attack on the individual making such a comment. I believe we should all be capable of discerning the difference between a viscous attack and such frivolity. But, we should limit our thoughts to the relevance of the thread.
So, after lurking for so long, I will now add to this important thread with my insignificant ideas. Additionally I make this promise and encourage others to make a similar one:
I will give those who take the time to post here the respect they deserve. I will not engage in viscous attacks on any individual. I will contribute to those threads where I feel I can make a contribution and respect those with whom I disagree while expressing my own opinions about the subject matter.
And thanks Dillinger for starting this thread. As usual, your threads are very thought provoking.
Jim
Dhalgren
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jun 9, 2001
- Posts
- 738
Well…
I see a lot of intelligence, insight, respect and grace posted in this thread.
I came in with respect towards the dynamic of the board
…I learned how this particular board fluctuated in its various details..and simply began posting
I have never had a problem with anyone here..
I’ve never wanted to leave because some people happen to annoy me.
(I’d have to leave the entire Planet for that)
I was welcomed by many people…
I called myself a newbie while others just called me Dhalgren.
I’ve met some fantastic people here..
I’ve met people who’ve made me smile, laugh...
Made me think..
I’ve received thoughts from people telling me that I returned the favor.
I’ve been open and honest..
I’ve never told anyone to fuck off.
{well except for MM..but he likes that way=}
If you find just *one* person you call a friend here..
If you’ve helped one person in their lives, somehow.
If someone has made your day a little brighter..
Then you have found one place worth sharing your thoughts.
I see a lot of intelligence, insight, respect and grace posted in this thread.
I came in with respect towards the dynamic of the board
…I learned how this particular board fluctuated in its various details..and simply began posting
I have never had a problem with anyone here..
I’ve never wanted to leave because some people happen to annoy me.
(I’d have to leave the entire Planet for that)
I was welcomed by many people…
I called myself a newbie while others just called me Dhalgren.
I’ve met some fantastic people here..
I’ve met people who’ve made me smile, laugh...
Made me think..
I’ve received thoughts from people telling me that I returned the favor.
I’ve been open and honest..
I’ve never told anyone to fuck off.
{well except for MM..but he likes that way=}
If you find just *one* person you call a friend here..
If you’ve helped one person in their lives, somehow.
If someone has made your day a little brighter..
Then you have found one place worth sharing your thoughts.
cymbidia
unrepentant pervert
- Joined
- Mar 8, 2001
- Posts
- 8,786
~following Dhalgren around like a puppy, as usual, just to bask in the goodness and clarity of her thoughts~
Me, too.
What she said.
Well, except i've had a couple little tiny eensy tussles a time or two and told an entirely different person to fuck off.
But other than that... yeh... what she said.
Me, too.
What she said.
Well, except i've had a couple little tiny eensy tussles a time or two and told an entirely different person to fuck off.
But other than that... yeh... what she said.
Dhalgren
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jun 9, 2001
- Posts
- 738
Cym..
You simply touch me, make me tingle..while a smile expands across my face and into my coffee...
And that is *exactly* what I mean..
~smiles~
Dill?
While we were in another Cosmos..writing out our character sheets…you know, before we jumped into this silly World in which to learn our lessons..I looked over your shoulder and copied a few of your ideas.
Just thought I'd come clean, now.
~grins~
You simply touch me, make me tingle..while a smile expands across my face and into my coffee...
And that is *exactly* what I mean..
~smiles~
Dill?
While we were in another Cosmos..writing out our character sheets…you know, before we jumped into this silly World in which to learn our lessons..I looked over your shoulder and copied a few of your ideas.
Just thought I'd come clean, now.
~grins~
I don't have anything original to contribute, but I said I would read the thread. I did.
There really is no reason that I can understand why adults can't act like adults, and comport themselves in an appropriate manner. Unfortunately, that doesn't happen as often as perhaps it should here.
My mother taught me to be polite to other people. So I try my best to continue that practice. Admittedly, I have failed on several occasions. No one is perfect, and the point is to do your best.
Well, just ignore this rambling. It's not difficult.
There really is no reason that I can understand why adults can't act like adults, and comport themselves in an appropriate manner. Unfortunately, that doesn't happen as often as perhaps it should here.
My mother taught me to be polite to other people. So I try my best to continue that practice. Admittedly, I have failed on several occasions. No one is perfect, and the point is to do your best.
Well, just ignore this rambling. It's not difficult.
RainbowBright
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Feb 4, 2002
- Posts
- 280
Her's a flawer fore veryone here.
doctor_insanus
Splendid Isolation
- Joined
- Feb 26, 2001
- Posts
- 10,904
Noble sentiments, Dillinger. As usual.
Will they pan out into the rest of the board? We can always hope...
Will they pan out into the rest of the board? We can always hope...
RainbowBright
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Feb 4, 2002
- Posts
- 280
Dhalgren said:
Flower, Rose, Lilly, Daisy, Cherry Blossom.
Il ickt his gamme, Dalgirn.
Heer ahve a flawour.
patient1
Mr. Cheyenne
- Joined
- Apr 24, 2001
- Posts
- 11,362
April said:I don't have anything original to contribute, but I said I would read the thread. I did.
There really is no reason that I can understand why adults can't act like adults, and comport themselves in an appropriate manner. Unfortunately, that doesn't happen as often as perhaps it should here.
My mother taught me to be polite to other people. So I try my best to continue that practice. Admittedly, I have failed on several occasions. No one is perfect, and the point is to do your best.
Well, just ignore this rambling. It's not difficult.
I only ignore those who don't treat others with respect.
Free Speech doesn't give anyone the right to be heard.
This was thoughtful and polite, and well worth my time.
Dixon Carter Lee
Headliner
- Joined
- Nov 22, 1999
- Posts
- 48,685
Dillinger said:
No. I don't intend on writing a manifesto explaining anything. I'll let my 6000 plus posts speak for themselves, as they should.
Feel better, buddy.
Dixon Carter Lee
Headliner
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- Nov 22, 1999
- Posts
- 48,685
You mean as a right assumed, or a priveledge granted? Respect on a BB is earned via content, dialogue and history, not delivered via a pledge whenever someone requests it. Even if it's a damn decent fellow like Dillinger.
patient1
Mr. Cheyenne
- Joined
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- Posts
- 11,362
Well Mr Lee,
I respect you for stating your mind when it differs from the prevailing opinion. The way you mean respect.( Not that I'm taking issue with you, your style, or your opinion)
In that same sense, I meant showing respect for another's rights,
as in respecting their right to express an opinion, even if I don't respect their abillity to do so &/or the opinion itself.
In my posts on this page,I was referring also to the sense of common courtesy application of the word, as in don't call people insulting names.
In my last post I had in mind that as a whole we aren't living up to these pledges & need to keep remembering to try, each according to their word here. That's why I bumped the thread.
Does that answer your question?
And I do agree about Dillinger's descency ,content, dialogue & history. That's why I don't care for unregistered trolls... They want to damage another's reputation without damaging their own.
I respect you for stating your mind when it differs from the prevailing opinion. The way you mean respect.( Not that I'm taking issue with you, your style, or your opinion)
In that same sense, I meant showing respect for another's rights,
as in respecting their right to express an opinion, even if I don't respect their abillity to do so &/or the opinion itself.
In my posts on this page,I was referring also to the sense of common courtesy application of the word, as in don't call people insulting names.
In my last post I had in mind that as a whole we aren't living up to these pledges & need to keep remembering to try, each according to their word here. That's why I bumped the thread.
Does that answer your question?
And I do agree about Dillinger's descency ,content, dialogue & history. That's why I don't care for unregistered trolls... They want to damage another's reputation without damaging their own.
Dixon Carter Lee
Headliner
- Joined
- Nov 22, 1999
- Posts
- 48,685
Ah.
It was natural for me to assume the comment was a direct response to my post, because you didn't offer any context to your short comment, and it was posted directly beneath mine, after the thread had been quite buried for a while. I getcha now.
Thanks patient1. Doctor2 will see you now.
It was natural for me to assume the comment was a direct response to my post, because you didn't offer any context to your short comment, and it was posted directly beneath mine, after the thread had been quite buried for a while. I getcha now.
Thanks patient1. Doctor2 will see you now.
Southern37
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Oct 12, 2001
- Posts
- 770
DAMN
I'm so fucking glad I was gone today.
I'm so fucking glad I was gone today.
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