Important - Please Read

[Dillinger]

So many people here have said things that really should be acknowledged. I am struggling right now with a balance between what I need to do and the overwhelming response this has gotten both here and in PMs. I feel I owe it to everyone to respond but I just can't keep up! *smile*

So - not to lessen what anyone else has said - I'm just taking the easy route and only responding to a couple of the most recent posts on this thread...

Sparky - you drive me crazy sometimes... you are a madman - and I don't always agree with you - and you can really gross me out with some of your threads - but I respect you. You are the only one of us who had the guts to step up and pretty much invite anyone and everyone to come meet you, real life - and backed that up with real life information about who you are.

I don't think your point is for all of us to join hands and sing "Shiny Happy People." It's to just have a measure of respect and class in our postings.

I choose to live my life "here" as I do in RL... with grace, class, and humor. It's who I am. I don't expect others to behave the same way, but a certain amount of respect is the grease for a social wheel.

Yes, again... exactly. I don't expect this place, nor do I want it to be, some kind of homoginized adult Barney-like "I love you, you love me" - Those who read this thread that way did not get my point. It is about respect (and class too, yes.) I think I said that more than a few times? *lol* How that point could be lost by some is beyond me.

I'm also really thrilled to see some of the lurkers and some of the newer members of the community step up to the plate here and take a swing of the bat. Thank you.

 

[perks]

Dillinger,

I've opened this thread on no less than six different occasions, written some thoughts on this subject and then erased them.

I'm so torn on how to respond which led me to think that this bulletin board is about action, reaction and perception. Some choose to act, some choose to react, and based on those choices others gain a perception of you.

I came to the board looking for some fun, for some downtime. The search for a break from reality doesn't make my thoughts, emotions or reactions any less real.If I choose to be sexual and playful, it doesn't make me any less intelligent, any less educated or any less thoughtful.

I find it interesting when posters discuss time and experience as a reason for respect or kindness. When did these become the criteria for basic civility?

Sometimes I see posts that just make me cringe. I've replied saying the author wasn't showing any class when they wrote it, but then aren't I guilty of perpetuating the same kind of direspect?

I am in full support of different points of view, debate, intensity, frivolity, sexuality or whatever the topic is. I'm not in support of those who stir the pot, just to guage reaction and foster hate and discontent. They bring the spirit of the board down.

People will always judge others on first impressions. I'd like to suggest that people are more than one post, more than one thread, more than this. Context, intonation and sometimes humour are lost in text.

The person I am today is only one part of the complete me. I believe this to be true of every single person on this board.

I'd like you to stay,

melanie

 

[SweetBrat73]

Dillinger,

I've opened this thread on no less than six different occasions, written some thoughts on this subject and then erased them.

I'm so torn on how to respond which led me to think that this bulletin board is about action, reaction and perception. Some choose to act, some choose to react, and based on those choices others gain a perception of you.

I came to the board looking for some fun, for some downtime. The search for a break from reality doesn't make my thoughts, emotions or reactions any less real.If I choose to be sexual and playful, it doesn't make me any less intelligent, any less educated or any less thoughtful.

I find it interesting when posters discuss time and experience as a reason for respect or kindness. When did these become the criteria for basic civility?

Sometimes I see posts that just make me cringe. I've replied saying the author wasn't showing any class when they wrote it, but then aren't I guilty of perpetuating the same kind of direspect?

I am in full support of different points of view, debate, intensity, frivolity, sexuality or whatever the topic is. I'm not in support of those who stir the pot, just to guage reaction and foster hate and discontent. They bring the spirit of the board down.

People will always judge others on first impressions. I'd like to suggest that people are more than one post, more than one thread, more than this. Context, intonation and sometimes humour are lost in text.

The person I am today is only one part of the complete me. I believe this to be true of every single person on this board.

I'd like you to stay,

melanie

Good post perky...It made alot of sense and should give ppl something to think about.


Brat....waiting to see what person perky is tomorrow

 

[Sparky Kronkite]

Dill, I'm tellin' you this true man.......

as true as can be.

I "reluctanley" came to this board out of a combo of - 1) gaining knowledge about computer and the internet (you all would know, I came here knowing nothing, still don't know much) - 2) I'm a horney fucking bastard - 3) My professional life had taken a turn that provided me with the time to be here.

And that's that - that's why I came here. I repeat the word "reluctant" and add the word "skeptical."

My preconceived pictures of "those who might do this shit on the internet" were those of "fucked up people." I could never imagine any "normal" people being here. I was wrong. Though I still hold a strong belief that many people here have RL problems. But I also have come around to say - well - that's cool. If you can resolve or relieve some RL problems here - why not?

However. I will always maintain that there are also - some (maybe quite a few) sick fucking fucks here. Beyond simple, down trodden RL abnormalities. But I have no idea how many.

And the thing is - the finale conslusion I have come to, is........ by example (like me, love me or hate the shit out of me) is to - TOTALLY COME CLEAN - as to who I really am. No matter what you think, what anyone here thinks - of the bullshit (and if you don't think I make this shit up just to piss some of these moroon's off - well you've missed the joke) I spew here - I thought that the only thing - the only thing - I could ever, ever do - to bare my total soul and dare anyone to "get to know the real Sparky - aka Parker Chapman" was to totally come clean as to my RL identity. I mean - what more can one do? If yer real - yer real - ya know?

No one (to the best of my limited knowledge) has reciprocated. I didn't expect them to. But it's an interesting fact. My interest has always been a bit selfish - I'd "test the board." I'd (attempt) to throw them a curve - see how they respond. And it's been interesting. But when it finally came down to exposing myself totally.

Everyone just watched.

And that - says something about "the community" here. The ultimate test - and people turned away.

What does that fucking say? What does that mean? What does that speak for "this community?"

I'm not so sure - but I don't feel positive about any answer that might be offered.

Call me a synic - call me negative - call me socially diverse. But I don't think so. I think people, cloaked and hidden people - tend not to"do as they may speak." I think most people in RL are the same. I think that it's easy to shoot ones mouth off here - no matter if your portent is real or not.

I think "this community" is totally reflective of RL with one exception - "it's easier to fucking hide here." And the conclusion is that "you can get away with more here."

And hell - I've proven that - I get away with murder. BUT! I put my RL name on it.

It's so much fun. For me. And I don't understand how those who come here to simply whack off all the time - can maintain any interest in it at all.

But alas - I am wrong - people do come here simply to mentally masterbate each other.

Ahh--there's worse.

 

[Calamity Jane]

Re: Dill, I'm tellin' you this true man.......

No one (to the best of my limited knowledge) has reciprocated. I didn't expect them to. But it's an interesting fact. My interest has always been a bit selfish - I'd "test the board." I'd (attempt) to throw them a curve - see how they respond. And it's been interesting. But when it finally came down to exposing myself totally.

There are reasons some of us won't come out and post exactly who we are. Namely, those sick fucks you mentioned. I'm not comfortable broadcasting my full name and info on a public forum such as this. If that makes me less real... *shrug*

But you have my name and address... so do some others. I'm as real here posting under PCG as I am in my offline life as Jane. Use of my first name is as familiar as I'm ever going to get in public.

 

[Dillinger]

Sparky - I don't want to take this thread off topic - so I have a response for you - but if you want to continue this particular line of discussion - after this, I'd rather bring it into another thread... ok?

I thought that the only thing - the only thing - I could ever, ever do - to bare my total soul and dare anyone to "get to know the real Sparky - aka Parker Chapman" was to totally come clean as to my RL identity. I mean - what more can one do? If yer real - yer real - ya know?

No one (to the best of my limited knowledge) has reciprocated. I didn't expect them to. But it's an interesting fact. My interest has always been a bit selfish - I'd "test the board." I'd (attempt) to throw them a curve - see how they respond. And it's been interesting. But when it finally came down to exposing myself totally.

Everyone just watched.

What does that fucking say? What does that mean? What does that speak for "this community?"

Sparky I can tell you exactly what it says, what it means. And I think its true for most of us.

You are LUCKY in a way, or maybe you have less to worry about - or more guts - or whatever then I do and most of us here.

Why did I just watch? Because I cannot afford to have it come out who I am "irl." It would cause repercussions to my family and my work that would not be in my best interests. Is that gutless? Maybe. But that is the way it is - for now.

I have shared real life info with friends off the board (I've even met some, as you know - as has been documented on the board). I have chosen to share less info online. This is both for privacy and safety for myself, my family, and my job. There are some online who would actively choose to hurt me if they could. There are others who might just think it funny to do so to me, or someone else. And maybe some who might do so by accident.

You are lucky because your wife is open to this place. Because your situation is such that there doesn't appear to be any "rl" harm you can be caused by someone knowing your real life info. At least not to the extent that it could harm me - and I'm guessing quite a few others here.

That's the bottom line.

And - BTW - I will be in DC in the fall - I'm assuming the invite to visit is still open? *smile*

 

[Sparky Kronkite]

I had not purpose to "bring people out".....

that's thier call.

Not many people eat sick fucks for breakfast like I do.

So I understand.

And - I got a major hunch - a major hunch - that most sick fucks here - and on the Internet in general - are puny, maybe even non-mobile, sick fucks - who just pretend they are...... let's say..... Thor or somebody like that.

Sparky is not Thor.

But he might as well be. He walks, he talks, he has guns and knows explicitly how to use them. He is watchfull. He is all seeing. And he welcomes all sick fucks. How else can he rid society from them.

Sparky is the bate - for all sick fucks out there. The invitation is clear. The name is on the mail box and in the phone book.

It's the Sick Fuck Invitational.

Just wait until the movie come out.

DCL? Don't get any ideas! I get 6% on the box.

 

[cymbidia]

Re: Dill, I'm tellin' you this true man.......

I thought that the only thing - the only thing - I could ever, ever do - to bare my total soul and dare anyone to "get to know the real Sparky - aka Parker Chapman" was to totally come clean as to my RL identity. I mean - what more can one do? If yer real - yer real - ya know?

No one (to the best of my limited knowledge) has reciprocated. I didn't expect them to. But it's an interesting fact. My interest has always been a bit selfish - I'd "test the board." I'd (attempt) to throw them a curve - see how they respond. And it's been interesting. But when it finally came down to exposing myself totally.

Everyone just watched.

And that - says something about "the community" here. The ultimate test - and people turned away.

What does that fucking say? What does that mean? What does that speak for "this community?"

I'm not so sure - but I don't feel positive about any answer that might be offered.

Sparky, i was one of the people who called that phone number you gave us, the one to the New York office. I called it and got a voice mail, if you'll recall, and not one that was your voice. You explained why and i accepted your explanation.

You are real.

You are also a man.

I am not.
Women online, not just here but all over the net, and like it or not, are more at risk for harrassment (online, phone, and at-our-front-door) than are men.

Women here at Lit cannot be as open as can men. All of us learned that very early in our everyday lives and again when we came online. We hide our real identity because (fact) there are lots of male nuts out there who might hurt us.

I'd like to post my personal info right here, right now, just to prove you wrong.

There are a number of people here at Lit who know me, who i talk to on the phone regualrly or every so often, who i'll meet in person when i can, when they can. I'm as real as the proverbial heart attack, Sparky.

I just cannot take the chance of revealing it here, now, to you and all the lurkers in the universe. I have kids. I have the usual worries. I've had a stalker before in my life and don't want another one, thanks.

But i'm as real as you are Sparky, your contemptuous skepticism of that fact to the contrary.

Want my phone number?
Want my address?
I'll give them to you.

Some others here have all that.
I'll give that info to you, Sparky, if it'll help you understand and admit, finally, that
we are all real people here.

 

[Sparky Kronkite]

As always, please pardon my typos and spelling.....

As you know - if you know Sparky - checking ruins "the moment" - it takes too much time and - he don't give a flying fuck. Besides.....

I've been drinkin' this lousy Penis Grigio from South America - I got a head ache too.

 

[Sparky Kronkite]

PS - once again.....

There's only one way to rid the board of these "sick fucks."

Hunt them down and kill them in RL.

My mission in life! I have found it.

 

[Sparky Kronkite]

I'm not trying to get other's phone numbers.

That was not my attempt.

I know there are many "real people" here. I know that they have to keep their ID's clean for many reasons.

The fact that, that is true and the fact that nobody chose to do the same is not my point.

My point is the dichotomy of the situation here. Which is......

Everyone claiming that they are so real, which is obviously true - to the simple fact that - there is no real way to proove you are real - without posting your real info for all the world to see.

You see - it's a Catch22 sort of thing. A cyclical thing. And it all hinges on faith - belief - whatever.

I am a skeptic. I am from Missoroui. The show me state.

I like to call it the - show me yer tits state.

 

[Jimi]

Dill's Tommy-Gun - I'm proud to carry it, if desired....

Dill:

I like your style, dude! Like some of my fellow "cormudgeons" upon the Board, I am secure enough to know that an honest opinion expressed will piss off some of the people ALL of the time...

I take the lead of some of the "older" members, such as yourself in that - Texan, yourself, 'Teach, Shameless and a few more - i enjoy thgoroughly.

Of the Wimmen - 98% of them are very cool...

I will be here for awhile - hope that y'all are also!

 

[lilminx]

Ok Dilly....

Forgive me for not having read this thread in its entirety, but I just have so much shit to catch up on. I agree with you about respect, and in the few short days that I haven't been around, it seems that there has been a lot of crap going on and the tensions are very high.

You know that I consider you a friend and ally on here, as do others (Lavy, for instance) who have been treated not-so-nicely by some people here.

I don't really know what else to type... seeing some of what's been going on here makes me not want to respond much to anything here, so I apologize for my less than eloquent post....

 

[Guest]

Dill....

I am a newbie, but I've been reading here for a while and was really drawn to this community. But I have felt the tension and wondered why, and how it will change.

This is a snapshot of society, and while negatives do exist the positives are there and are incredible. Friends, and life, can be found everywhere.

I hope I can be what you consider a positive. Kick me in the ass if I am not.
I hope you remain a posting member. Kick me in the ass if you do not.

And welcome back Lilminx. Hope all went well for you. I was going to shoot you a PM....

 

[CarolineOh]

I'm glad I took the time to read all the way through this thread.
In one of my first posts here I made a dopey presumption that disrespected one of the highly regarded regulars. I meant no harm, it was just dumb.
Several members explained the faux pas to me, both in the thread and in PMs. I apologized to the offended poster, and my apology was graciously accepted. The group could have ostracized me, or made me an object of ridicule, but everyone acted with class, and that was that.
I believe in assuming that everyone is posting in good will, until they prove otherwise, and I hope others will grant that assumption to me.
I'm glad to be here. And I'm glad that so many people seem intent on maintaining the integrity of the posting community.

 

[Barb Dwyer]

Dillinger,

Thank you for your invitation to come back to Lit to read this thread.

Of course, it was delivered in your usual eloquent and thoughtful style. You said many of the same things that we have discussed in private. I have often mentioned that I cannot understand the behavior and the attitude of some of the posters here.

Literotica has been, from the start, a unique and wonderful place. It was a place to hang one's hat, kick one's feet up, relax and let down one's hair. It was alternately the family room where you could unwind; the kitchen where everyone felt warmth and love; or the bedroom where our wildest fantasies were accepted.

It was also the Senate or the conference room. Where our views on subjects as diverse as religion, politics, environment, sports and movies could be debated. At Lit we have always been privy to the most fascinating discourses to be found anywhere on the internet. Where else can you find a back and forth about Pussy Mullets? LMAO

Lit has also provided a forum for helpful advice. From Cheyenne's numerous wonderful tips on Magic to important information on computer viruses and such from various IT professionals.

For most of my tenure here, it was a great place. Then it started to unravel for me. As I mentioned to you on more than a few occasions, I didn't like the trends I was seeing. It disturbed me greatly to see the backstabbing, the name calling, the mudslinging. And I don't mean against my friends. I couldn't bear witnessing this negative behavior directed against strangers - people with whom I have never had any contact. And, as you stated, the total lack of respect for others.

Even when there are differences of opinions on topics, I have always maintained that you can debate intelligently and in such a way as to ensure that everyone retains their dignity. Unfortunately, not many others agreed with that.

It often reminded me of a highway accident. People would stop and stare-even if they proclaimed they didn't want to. Such is the case with trolls. People decry the language and tone of the threads started by (or hijacked by) trolls. Yet, they cannot stop themselves from peeking inside and then adding their own two cents worth.

This is where we disagree, my friend. You will never win an argument with a troll. For many reasons. Not the least of which is that they do not care about your opinion. Further, there are just some folks who thrive on cruelty, mean spiritedness, and argumentative behavior. Some people actually behave this way under their own names-but that doesn't make it any less spiteful. Or any more acceptable. I will not feed their habit. I never have and will certainly not start now.

Nor should anyone be absolved of responsibility if they announce their intentions to be bitchy or rude because they are menstruating or because it is their nature or because they think they are clever or curmudgeonly or because they don't want to live in a homogenous world or because they think they are above reproach. Just because someone announces that they are cruel does not make their behavior acceptable.

When we live in a community or society, we have to find ways to co-exist in order to fit in. It seems to me that sometimes people forget that they do not exist in a vacuum. They forget that their actions impact everyone around them.

I do not blame the newbies for that. There are many old timers who seem to feed off of this same behavior. They demonstrate their own self absorbed natures by their words. And none of their peer group calls them on it. That is just as demoralizing and damaging to the board as a troll who hides behind the "unregistered" or guest monikers.

My complaints about newbies are for things beyond their control. I have told you (as some others who have posted ahead of me on this thread have commented) that there are only so many times you can answer the same questions. For example, "how did you choose your screen name? Do you orgasm by oral, vaginal or clitoral stimulation? What is your favorite song to fuck to? If you were stranded on an island what 5 books would you want?"

I know it is not their fault for asking these questions and I do realize that new people are always joining the board - so these are valid questions and topics for them. It is a dynamic and fluid board and there is a place for repetition because of that. But for people who have answered these questions numerous other times, it becomes a bit boring. So I ignore and look for something else. At this rate, however, I doubt that I will ever make it to the glorified "1000" post mark!

So, as with any activity, you move on. The great influx of members over the last 3 months has added to some of the problems. Everyone is vying for attention. That is certainly nothing new. That is why we are all here. To read what others say and to add our own opinions and feelings. To hope that we can add something of substance. Or of value to someone else. Whether that be in the form of a joke, a meaningful thought, the answer to a question or a friendly pat on the back or virtual hug.

But with such tremendous growth, the board is having growing pains. That is cyclical too, as Laurel always points out. I have told you that it is frustrating to come back to Lit after missing a day to find that one day now takes up to 7 pages! I don't have that kind of time to keep up with it. I also don't have the time to weed through all the threads to see which are "good" or interesting to me. And we all go through phases ourselves. I enjoy all the various types of threads at different times. The serious, thought-provoking subjects and the lighthearted, flirty ones.

I suppose that folks who can spend all day or night here manage much better than I can but it can be quite frustrating for those of us who have limited time.

These are all small ripples in a large pond. The complaints are all manageable with a modicum of effort. It is the subject of lack of respect that is the most damaging to this community though. Where I used to come here every day- I now only stop by a couple of times a week or when a friend mentions a thread that might be of interest to me. (Such as this one!)

Just like in the world away from the computer, I prefer spending time with people who challenge me; entertain me; make me laugh or make me think. I do not hang around with folks who are immature and lack the intelligence or good breeding to know how to effectively communicate. Even if I do not like someone or agree with their philosophy, I still show them the courtesy and respect I would want in return. Someone earlier in this thread stated the same thing. A Golden Rule of posting, as it were.

We all gravitate towards people who we perceive are like us. Some of us try to broaden our horizons by interacting with those who are different from us or hold opposing viewpoints. But, we still treat each other with respect. We don't go whispering behind people's backs. We don't start rumors. We don't gossip. We don't start letter-writing campaigns to blackball someone. We don't stop and gawk at traffic accidents - of if we do-we try to help or call for assistance. We don't just add fuel to the fire.

Sometimes I question the age of the participants. Their behavior contradicts their claimed chronological ages. Especially the ones who affect one persona on the board and another one off the boards in email and PMs. Many of the more upstanding and intelligent posters are included in this diatribe. I have witnessed two-faced behavior from some of these folks. It amazes me how they can publicly admire, gush and trip over themselves praising a 'friend' on the board. Yet, within emails and IMs, privately diss the person without so much as batting an eyelash. That insidious nature will come back to bite them in the butt one day. But I choose not to be part of it - nor do I want to be privy to it either!

As others have mentioned before me, it sometimes feels like I am witnessing a playground dispute or a locker room fight between 7th graders-instead of finding adult conversations and interactions.

I stand on the same side of the line as you. I applaud you for taking the time to express these viewpoints which I share. Thanks, too, for inviting me back to see that lots of goodness (and good people) still frequent these boards.


Not that I doubted that, really. It's just that I had ceased wanting to search it out. Thanks for shining a spotlight on it.

 

[tulip2lipservice]

Dillinger...

I have been a regular in lit since October 2000. The many facets of literotica is endless however if we do stick around either in chat, boards, stories and poems, etc there is a community to find. All communities are based on respect and there is a responsibility to help others out. Your words expressed that. I am dumfounded how skeptical others are with a new person posting or how "regular members" ignore the person until they get to a certain number next to their name. It is sort of like a right or initiation to be part of the "in crowd". To see what the other has to offer, how thick their skin is, or if they are simply bull shit artists. Haven't we all been there at least one point in our lives? Basically the truth always comes out somewhere down the line.

All I know is that I am very fortunate to know a lot from here, the bulletin boards, through chat. Heck I even got a few addicted here that have surpassed me within this forum.

Lieterotica has afforded me a chance to be able to write freely through chat, stories and now the bulletin boards. To let my sensuality and creativity to flirt, to express my thoughts, opionions or simply get silly. It makes my mind think and to learn from other kindred spirits.

I did have a lot of time on my hands last week to stay around more and to post. I have been religiously posting in a thread I started in Oct after the WTC. I had attempted several times in the past to write on the General Boards but felt like a small fish in a big pond and simply stayed where I felt comfortable. Last week I did notice the hashing back and forth of a "newbie". Right away the challenge of "I'll give him two months". Who cares if the newbie stays for two months or not. Who cares if I do or not? Allow the person, like you want yourself, the respect to try to express him/herself. To find that inner core of expression through the use of language. To converse with kindred spirits. We do get what we put out. There is an energy here that I feel with all of you. So many intelligent and expressive people. It allows oneself to be challenged and as long as that challenge is a positive one then all is good. If that challenge is a negative one then why bother.

To Sparky I agree with Cymbidia. Too many risks for a woman to divulge their information on here. When I meet people from the NYC Vicinity thread in person I have no problem divulging my "real information". Trust me there are several here that can testify to you that I am real. I give you a lot of credit for giving it out so freely but you to should be careful. You never know who really is lurking about.

Sorry to make you read so much Dillinger but I am with you to the community idea. To show respect to others. Ignore the ones you can't. To debate fairly without slashing the other or bringing in personal information. People are real and it can hurt. If you do not like a thread then move on. Basic simple rules we all learned as a child. Share, Care, Be Polite, etc. Heck some of the posts would be boring without a little tension but do it within reason. This board is what we all make of it.

Peace,
Tulip

 

[fallon2]

I said it before . . .

I said it before . . yes, this is a community and the way to change a community is from WITHIN . . . not by bitching and making a dramatic exit. I post less due to the fact I am extremely BUSY but I try to get on several times a week. The solution is within ourselves not by leaving. Dillinger . . . good luck on the heath thing and watch your weight.

 

[Purple Haze]

I came to Literotica to get my jollies. What a smorgasbord of stories, man. All kinds of stories, good, bad and butt-ugly. All of them FREE, so there's absolutely no reason to bitch about 'em, though it is fun to poke fun at how similar a lot of them are. I figured I could like them, or try to write a better one.

The internet was new to me then, and my perception of "internet people" was the same as Sparky's, except I was probably, and still am a lot more wary of people behind the anonymous cloak of a computer keyboard. The Lit chat room was strangely appealing for a while, but after a while, a bunch of dorks saying hi to each other is not so entertaining. The juvenile side of me was compelled to stir up a little shit, to try to make it more entertaining for me and whomever else with some sense of humor. An unknown moderator's lack of humor got me booted for life, no warning, no explanation, no reply. So I discovered the bulletin board to fulfill my twisted interactive needs. I'd never joined or posted on any before, and the "anything goes" freedom was, and is a very cool thing.

It took a while for me to realize that the people you were exchanging messages with were here yesterday, and they'd be here tomorrow and probably the next day. Weird.

I also soon realized that people came here day after day not necessarily to anonymously get their rocks off, but to converse on a very wide range of topics. What the fuck, are these real people? Could be. All this and a newbie named Sparky Kronkite completely disrupting the order of things made it interesting enough to check in and take a lurk day after day, and eventually join in. I didn't expect or get a red carpet reception, nor did I ask for one.

Siren was, and still is very welcoming of newbies. I am not. It's not because I don't like newbies, it's because I don't know them yet. If I'm rude or disrespectful to a newbie it's only because they came in showing no respect for the board or it's members. They can either deal with it, or go back out and wipe their fucking shoes and try again. This ain't Scooby-Doo, muthafucka.

Lately I'm wondering where all the fourteen year-olds are coming from. You used to be able to have a somewhat adult discussion about those sexual things, deep dark secrets that aren't discussed in the proper real-life world without titillating some giddy schoolboy reaction.

It could be the anonymity that's gone. Person "A" is more than willing to disclose that she's a 29 year-old account executive named Trixie, works for a pharmaceutical company in Rabbit Ass, Montana, drives a red Isuzu Rodeo, has three children named Biffy, Buffy and Phil, and has pics of herself posted all over the board. We probably won't be getting any juicy blow-job techniques out of this member, or details of her Gerber Baby Food fetish. She's too embarrassed.

Thanks for the thread, Dillinger.

 

[Chuckus]

I am with you Dilly

Dillenger,

I am with you 100%. I, like you, treat people with the "give you my respect until you give me reason to take it away" mentality. Sometimes it is my downfall and my worst attribute. But that is me. I will like you, until you give me reason NOT to. Screw me once, shame on me. Screw me twice............

Anywhoodle. I am with you. We must have our open discussions about life's experiences and things that affect each of us. Not nitpicking threads or tiresome "namecalling" threads. If we see a "troll" beating up on one of our friends, we must help defend them. Granted, the reason must be geniune and real. Be true to ourselves. Some people have the inate ability to "agree to disagree" whilst others don't. So be it. I feel lucky that I was given that ability in my character and persona. I can agree to disagree without any qualm. Sure maybe I don't like another person's opinion or agree with it, but I can live with it. That is their right as a person to feel the way they do. I think the more interesting part of it, is to find out why that person feels the way they do. Maybe it will persuade you to change your own opinion.

Respect, something most show whilst others don't. Those of us whom have been here a while, respect most people or at the very least don't outright show disrespect UNLESS given reason. There have been very few times where I have attacked trolls or gotten into "pissing" contests because I choose not to. Life is too short.

Oh well, I am rambling and couldn't say any better what so many before me already did. I am with you. LET"S ROLL.

 

[cherrylips_au]

Well I'm only new here but I do agree with what has been said about respecting people to the point of getting my partner to read some of my posts to see if they could be offensive to others.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinions but sometimes it is how it is expressed that causes problems.
Only having been posting here for a short time I have seen some very nasty things said to others and haven't been able to understand the motivation behind it, but then as in real life I can't understand bullies or people that abuse others.
Well I do hope that things can improve and I have that wish for real life as well.
Thanks Dillinger for starting this thread and getting people to think and I hope your personal health improves.

 

[Sparky Kronkite]

Hey Purp, hi. I'm with you....

I came here first - and with the minute exception of going over to Ambro's sight for a few tumbles - have never been anywhere else. Well except my beloved A-Rex 1200 board (but I only go there for technical info - making my bike better). It's here or nowhere.

I just ain't into it. Only here. weird.

 

[Sparky Kronkite]

Another bit strange thing......

You me and Purp are musicians.

Does that mean anything?

Probably not.

 

[mskittykatt]

Re: BRAVO DILLY !!!!!!!!!!!

This is place is only what you make of it.
It reflects US.
IF it is negative at times...........it is because we are negative.
IF it is fun at times..........it is because we are having fun.
IF it is ugly and mean spirited at times ...........it is because we are ugly and mean spirited.
And if it is flirty and lighthearted..........the same holds true.
We control how this place is.
Dont bemoan negativity................change it into something else here.

this summs things up pretty well from my point of view.
the respect thing i have to disagree on, there are *many* here who have my respect but there are many more who i would treat with basic politeness, and some that i wouldn't give the time of day... and some who desperately need to be put in thier place!
respect should be earned and means nothing if it's handed out like candy on the 4th of July.
as for standing up for friends etc. i would not even appreciate if it was me you were standing up for, that just fuels the fights. stand up for information, stand up for issues... but fighting over personalities will always just be that, and no one gets anything out of it.

 

[Tyrael]

Just adding my part. Because I'm a part of this community too...no matter how small my part is.

I just felt the need to add my 2 cents on respect. To remember that respecting people doesn't mean your always supposed to be friendly with them. People could fight like wild dogs and still respect each other. Having people's respect doesn't mean they will always agree with you. Hey, they might even go as far as to say "You're wrong about this."

This place will never be a place where everyone loves one another. There will always be someone or some group that just comes here to insult people and start shit. There will always be people around here who have different views on the world and can't believe why you think the way you do.

Well, I'm wandering off the topic.

Respect is earned not awarded by hitting the submit button in the registration field or getting 5000 posts under your name. Respect means different things to different people. One person might respect a fellow lit because the lit is kind and thoughtful to eveyone they meet regardless of how they are treated in return. Another might respect someone for standing firm on their beliefs even when being called names and told that they are so ignorant for being so stubborn.

I'm done now.