I'd like to remark upon something I've noticed here at Lit...

[lilminx]

Many people here say that as far as attractiveness goes, looks don't mean much; attraction is based more upon who you are as a person. (I personally think that there has to be some sort of physical attractiveness for me to want to date or be with someone, but that's not my sole, nor my most important, criteria).

Yet, I see some of these same people raving about others(especially newbies) who post their pics here. I read posts from them saying how gorgeous <insert name here> is or what a great body <insert name here> has.

There just seems to be a contradiction in what some people say. I'm not flaming anyone, I'd just like some elaboration on the subject.

 

[Mensa]

You expect consistency, perhaps?

We lie! What can I tell you?

 

[Fly_On_Wall]

I agree with looks don't matter... up to a point, some people are revolting....(lol i'm going to get flamed for that)

looks does matter to a point but it's not the most important thing to me.

 

[Wiggles]

Maybe I'm still juvenile in my feelings, but when I see a hot guy, it gets my hormones going. I'll comment. Why? Because it's a compliment, and those are always nice to have.

There are some on the board that I might be interested in because of their words, but not attracted to, in a sexual way. Unless they write some kick ass stories, but then it's really about their fantasy, and not them.

Looks are important to me in my romantic relationships. I have to be attracted to their mind and their body. No matter what is said about the beauty of words, a beautiful body will always effect me. I can't turn that off, or stop it.

My final comment is this. It's not a big deal either way. Some get attention for this, others for that. It's really all about what you want to be known for, I suppose.

 

[MunchinMark]

I can't speak for other people (I have never posted anything like that) but physical attractiveness is the initial attraction. Then you get to know a person and get to see how attractive they are as a person. Yes, looks matter, but they do not overrule personality or lack thereof.

 

[lilminx]

I'm not disagreeing with any of you on those points.

I'm talking about people here who say that looks don't mean anything, and have actually gotten MAD at other Lit members for saying that they won't date anyone who is not physically attractive, yet they drool over the attractive people here who post their pics.

 

[freakygirl]

Minxy..

I've noticed this also..

I figured out along time ago.. people say things to be nice.

I accept it..

 

[pabloback]

looks attract initially but personality matters most
what i want is a really hot babe with loadsa wonga and a great personality

 

[Fly_On_Wall]

Minxy..

I've noticed this also..

I figured out along time ago.. people say things to be nice.

I accept it..

If that is supose to mean you think people only say your good looking is to be nice....
bah.. I like your av in the red sweat shirt. I think you have a good looking face. The glasses accent the eyes too.

 

[perks]

pretty boys are just that, pretty boys. I'm attracted to other things. The pretty actually might work against them. I've never said less.

As for women, I like em thick with shape and a pretty face, but if they're cunts then I don't like em at all not even if they're gorgeous.

bottom line, for me, good looking<pretty> is a different animal than attractive.

And attractive is in the eye of the beholder.

 

[Siren]

yea i noticed this myself

 

[Rambrat]

awwwww

I like that perky_baby!
I agree!

 

[Guest]

 

[nasty]

You're trying to get me in trouble, Minxy. Yes, being physical attractive is somewhat important. Although, it isn't as important to me as it used to. Besides, what's attractive to one, could be completely unattractive to another.

 

[freakygirl]

If that is supose to mean you think people only say your good looking is to be nice....
bah.. I like your av in the red sweat shirt. I think you have a good looking face. The glasses accent the eyes too.

Fly.. Thank you..

I appreciate it

But yes.. most of the guys on this board say one thing.. and mean another.

I should take a new picture of me.... like I'm going out for the night..

and post a poll of how many honestly would hit on me in a bar..

alot of people would say they would.. but in reality.. they wouldn't. How do I know? because I have never been hit on in a bar or anywhere else for that matter..

I'm not bitter about it.. I accept it..

 

[AriaSilverfyre]

Personally, I am initially attracted to a person based on their looks. However, it's their personality that keeps me around. I do have several good friends whom some might consider unattractive physically, but have unbelieveably beautiful minds.

 

[Fly_On_Wall]

i'm a person that rarly lies, i'll bend the truth but not lie...

I would never say to a girl she looks good if I don't think so.....

for future refrance .... if I think somoene looks good i say it.
If i don't think they look good... and they ask me how do I look?
I change the subject. and avoid the question. unless I don't like them and think they look homely... then I tell them.
yes i'm an asshole, as much as people think i'm a sweet guy I have a bad side.

so if I tell you something I mean it.

 

[ksmybuttons]

Nothing wrong with eye candy...

Bulging jeans, well molded asses, perfect hair.

I love to look. Always will. I do find the older I get, the older the men I look at. Silver foxes now.

I don't want to know them as a person. I just want to look, the same way I look at any other fine piece of art. I can really like their look, be filled with wonder at their existance and I don't want to take them home or make them my friend.

Just because I think someone is physically attractive has little to do with my sexual attraction to them.

One of the things I like about the net is that I can interact with a mind without seeing a body. I am attracted to many people here, not physically, but in the function of the mind. There are some that amaze me almost every post and I know I would be exhausted if I had to live in their minds.

I like that I don't have to look at them, smell them or touch them.

Yes, I do like eye candy...and mind candy, too.

 

[Guest]

Re: Nothing wrong with eye candy...

 

[Bindii]

I would be lying if I didn't say that looks are what first attracts me to a person, yet I have learnt from first hand experience that most of the great looking men out there have little to offer me in the way of mental stimulation. (Go on bag me!) I've dated men that looked liked models but without the personality of someone I wanted to be with.
I figure that beauty fades, but personality doesn't.

As for people saying nice things about other members who have posted their photo's whats the problem? People like to be nice and by saying nice things it doesn't mean that they are contridicting their personal beliefs of 'personality is most important'. Hell I think that Sean Connery is a sex god (oh, alright, alright I know he's old...) but I live with an average looking guy with plenty of faults.

 

[LukkyKnight]

looks attract initially but personality matters most
what i want is a really hot babe with loadsa wonga and a great personality

Right - with a new acquaintance it's much easier to know if they are physically attractive. Not all compliments about appearance translate to "I'd like to get into your pants."

What I really want is a pablo-english dictionary.

 

[riff]

As someone who posted a pic of his belly up here, I would like to comment.

I am 38. Over the past 2 or 3 years I gained 15 pounds and thought I was turning into Ron Jeremy. Since the holidays I lost 15 pounds and have resumed my trips to the gym. Physically, I feel fantastic. Sexy. And I wanted people to notice.

In all honesty, I barely did anything last year. Lived like a freaking hermit, unless you include Everquest and work. So now I physically feel very much back to my old self- maybe even better because I gave jeans to Goodwill that I thought I would never fit in again (wish I hadn't now). I have a gratitude that I didn't have before because I took it for granted.

On the other hand, I do not miss your point. I have played around a little here and wondered what some of them "really" looked like and am reluctant to ask because it would spoil the mind candy.

We all do or don't do things for different reasons, sometimes even contradictory ones.

It reminds me of the other post about "why or you here?" Part of me rebels against that- who gives a fuck- the point is, I am here. On the other hand, the guy asking the question has his own reasons for asking and it is really not my business unless he feels like telling me.

Like I tell some of my students- dude, just go to whateverman.com, I'm sure you'll find an answer.

Sorry if I come across as caustic. I'm just another crazy motherfucker like everyone else.

 

[patient1]

Perhaps I'm a perfect example of this, but I doubt if I conciously entered your thinking on the matter.

When I comment on an appearance, I do it because I really am nice.I'm always looking for a reason to like somebody until they give me a reason to avoid them.I have a visual learning style, so
a visual might be easier to remember than a name. Yes, some of you give me a hard time with your av changes until I learn your moods.

I compliment people in real life, too. I believe that withholding a compliment does no-one any good, but sharing can make another person's day & let them know how perceptive & thoughtful you are. It's easier to compliment on an appearance because you don't have to know someone as well to do it.

As for attraction, something's got to make a person stand out so that I pay enough attention to them , long enough ,to get to know them well.It could be appearance, voice, sense of humor, scent, anything. Once I understand them, they can get way attractive.

There's more to it. I'm one of those people with a professional liscense. I work for a nationaly known outfit. It might be bad for my career to show my face. I'm not the only one in this category.
I think people who do are brave for taking a real life personal or professional risk.That risk is small but unknown. Maybe they're actually foolish, but I prefer to see the virtue in the situation, so I compliment them on the courage. So to me, it's not as shallow as it may seem.

I like your legs, LilMinx. I also like the candid way you discuss your sexuality here. I think it's daring of you to share as much as you do. As for what else I think of you, read my "I'd like to propose a toast ..." thread. Does this answer your question?

 

[Cheyenne]

Don't complain about people complimenting you on the board, even if you think they are doing it just to be nice.

The alternative, being insulted on the board for your looks, is a lot less fun.

 

[Mensa]

I saw the pic

As for people saying nice things about other members who have posted their photo's whats the problem? People like to be nice and by saying nice things it doesn't mean that they are contridicting their personal beliefs of 'personality is most important'.

Said the hot babe with the killer bod'