i was on a plane

[honeylick]

last week... atlanta to denver... and i was sitting next to a very old wrinkly lady that was missing a tooth in the front part of her grill

she was eating some kind of cheese-cracker that kept getting into her gap

but the worst part of it is... she had a head cold, and her germies have found their way into my system

-aaaachoo!-

bless me.

 

[Guest]

 

[Guest]

I hear cheese crackers are a sometimes good remedy for colds.

 

[honeylick]

how did you manage to get on the plane in the first place with that ass?

i'll show you by sitting on your face.
-sweet smile-

no licking it either... i dont want your germies too...

 

[Saint Valentine]

last week... atlanta to denver... and i was sitting next to a very old wrinkly lady that was missing a tooth in the front part of her grill

she was eating some kind of cheese-cracker that kept getting into her gap

but the worst part of it is... she had a head cold, and her germies have found their way into my system

-aaaachoo!-

bless me.

Need some chicken soup?

 

[Guest]

 

[Guest]

 

[honeylick]

I would be worried about not getting any air

but the craters from your cellulite might provide me with trapped oxygen

hey good experiment mr science... lets give it a try
-wink-

 

[Guest]

 

[curious2c]

I fly a quite a bit back and forth to work every two weeks. On my way home, I am usually coming off a graveyard shift so I am tired, and sleepy. One time (pre 9/11) I sat in the aisle seat. My eyes were closed, but I was not asleep yet as the seats next to me were open. All of the sudden I got hit on the head with a cane. Little old guy yells at me..."Hey! Get outa my way kiddo"

Most people are quite polite when needing to get in their seats so I was a bit surprised by his attitude. After he got settled in sat back down. *POKE* in the ribs. "Hey! I dropped that magazine...pick it up...NOW!"

Little things like this go on for a bit until I am getting quite perturbed. My ribs hurt, head hurts and his attitude is getting worse as we go. After ten or so *POKES* and nasty-ass words the Flight Attendants start the pre-flight...instructions to the passengers. I lean back (having heard it a thousand times over) and close my eyes.

*POKE* *POKE* *POKE*

"Hey! Pay attention...they are telling you how to save yourself if we have problems and have to land this baby in an emergency punk!"

Now I am pissed, tired, and fed up.

"So oldtimer...how often do you think these jets land on the water in one piece? Do you really think that if we have to use those masks as directed that I will help you put yours on? Do you really believe that this plane will be the only one in the last ten years to come to earth in one piece and in a controlled manner so that we can do all this shit? Realistic thinking says if we have problems like they are talking about...well you'd be better off bending over and kissing your ass goodbye. I choose to sleep instead. If you are concerned about it you listen to them...I have heard enough. GOOD DAY."

He was pretty quiet the rest of the trip. I did feel a bit bad about my own attitude...but the bruises on my ribs I saw while in the shower...well, I didn't feel quite as bad then.

 

[honeylick]

maybe i should have tossed her cheese crackers down the aisle.
-smirk-