I want to bleed, it this strange?

[Betticus]

I broke my finger last week and I do find that the sensation of pain heightens my perception of life from day to day. I've known this for a long time but since I'm still a newb at this lifestyle I'm wondering if some well schooled tutelage/ discovery with pain is in order.

My pain tolerance is exquisitely high naturally but I do find that the spice of life resides in suffering.

How can true happiness be found without realizing the luxury of not suffering?

 

[rosco rathbone]

That's how it starts, man. Like a slide coated with Crisco.

 

[Betticus]

That's how it starts, man. Like a slide coated with Crisco.

Well, I know that you are a dom but for me it seems that I am a kind of chameleon. I do absolutley love to be held down and fucked but only if I completely trust the other person.

It's not enough to just stop there in my mind. Is there such a thing as just pure sensatanism? The pleasure derived from feeling either pleasure or pain. I only really get sexual satisfaction from pleasure but if I'm in control, if I'm doing the fucking I want her to, need and want her to slice my back up with her fingernails. I want the dichotemy. The duality. I don't see much of a difference in that situation between pleasure and pain. I see her loss of control, her injuring me as her lover to be a small victory. I made her, forced her to cum for me at such an intensity that she gouged me with her nails or she bit me fiercely on my chest. I see the blood or the marks as a badge of victory.

I want my pleasure and pain at the same time, to heighten each other.

 

[rosco rathbone]

Well, I know that you are a dom but for me it seems that I am a kind of chameleon. I do absolutley love to be held down and fucked but only if I completely trust the other person.

It's not enough to just stop there in my mind. Is there such a thing as just pure sensatanism? The pleasure derived from feeling either pleasure or pain. I only really get sexual satisfaction from pleasure but if I'm in control, if I'm doing the fucking I want her to, need and want her to slice my back up with her fingernails. I want the dichotemy. The duality. I don't see much of a difference in that situation between pleasure and pain. I see her loss of control, her injuring me as her lover to be a small victory. I made her, forced her to cum for me at such an intensity that she gouged me with her nails or she bit me fiercely on my chest. I see the blood or the marks as a badge of victory.

I want my pleasure and pain at the same time, to heighten each other.

It's all good.

 

[Netzach]

I'm down with the theory. However, I find that as real-life suffering commences, recreational suffering holds no more appeal for me.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

I want my pleasure and pain at the same time, to heighten each other.

You'd be surprised what kind of control you can maintain while allowing another to do things outside the perceived BDSM norm.

 

[landcruisergal]

I like pain, I like endorphins too but thats not the main attraction.
I like to feel the trickles of blood over my skin.
I love to study myself in a mirror, as I bleed.
Only with a partner,never solo, but it doesnt have to be sexual for me.
Tattooing has the same effect, to a lesser degree.
I feel truly alive under intense stimuli.
Pain reminds me of my mortality, bleeding reminds me that I am alive.
I love needleplay, as a receiver and a giver.I love to see and feel metal sliding through flesh.Mine or anothers.
But throw in some sexual stimulation and I am in heaven.
Guess I am strange too.

 

[graceanne]

For me it depends on the kind of pain and what's causing it. Pain during sex, well, . But I've been in pain, in one way or the other, since I was 14ish. I'm going to bet that I view pain in a different way than a healthy person. I dream of walking without pain. I pray for a day when my feet don't hurt, or when I can eat something without instantly having stomach cramps. If it weren't for my kids I wouldn't fight when I get sick, cause I'm so tired of this.

 

[Marquis]

This doesn't surprise me about you Betticus, and I'll tell you why.

You talk about fighting a lot more than I do, but I can tell from the way you speak of it that it's more than about handling your business. I haven't fought in years, but in my ragamuffin days I can tell you that the best fights were the ones I barely one. Simply kicking someone's ass can feel too clinical and give you guilty feelings about being a bully. Even getting your ass kicked can be exhilirating sometime if you know you deserve it.

I like raping my little girls, but it's even better when they fight back.

 

[Betticus]

This doesn't surprise me about you Betticus, and I'll tell you why.

You talk about fighting a lot more than I do, but I can tell from the way you speak of it that it's more than about handling your business. I haven't fought in years, but in my ragamuffin days I can tell you that the best fights were the ones I barely one. Simply kicking someone's ass can feel too clinical and give you guilty feelings about being a bully. Even getting your ass kicked can be exhilirating sometime if you know you deserve it.

I like raping my little girls, but it's even better when they fight back.

The fighting thing, is strange. There is a lot of anticipation before but when it's happening it's like everything goes blank emotionally. If it's a close struggle. No fear, no anxiety. It's like you are reduced to primitive animal mentality of some kind but with adrenaline. Sometimes I giggle uncontrollably though and it gets like a kind of sexual power thing. Probably not completely unlike raping your little girls.

I'd imagine that it's pretty alike.

 

[Marquis]

Yeah, with sort of a homoerotic twist I guess.

 

[Etoile]

For me it depends on the kind of pain and what's causing it. Pain during sex, well, . But I've been in pain, in one way or the other, since I was 14ish. I'm going to bet that I view pain in a different way than a healthy person. I dream of walking without pain. I pray for a day when my feet don't hurt, or when I can eat something without instantly having stomach cramps. If it weren't for my kids I wouldn't fight when I get sick, cause I'm so tired of this.

Hello and hell yes! The pain I have from medical issues and the pain inflicted on me during sex are in two totally different categories. Over this past weekend I was fucked in one position for so long - and it was my responsibility to stay in that position - that the medical pain crossed over into the sexual pain. It was an interesting mix for me...feeling the usual exhaustion in my joints and muscles (which comes on much faster than it would for a normal person) and forcing myself to think through that pain and tolerate it even as I needed to change position.

 

[psyche1973]

"I broke my finger last week and I do find that the sensation of pain heightens my perception of life from day to day. I've known this for a long time but since I'm still a newb at this lifestyle I'm wondering if some well schooled tutelage/ discovery with pain is in order.

My pain tolerance is exquisitely high naturally but I do find that the spice of life resides in suffering.

How can true happiness be found without realizing the luxury of not suffering"

I don't think you're strange at all. Many people intentionally hurt themselves. I've been known to use a razor blade or box cutter on myself as stress relief when I'm upset. When I was younger (and less "respectable") I used to love getting into fights. I once tried to take on a girl-gang, thank god they backed off, they woulda killed me! lol Now that I'm mature and have kids, I'd never behave in that way... but I miss it. Pain can become addicting because or bodies are set up to give us natural pain relievers that area chemically similar to morophine when we are hurt. Myself I think it's more strage that society finds it more acceptable to be a recreational drug user than someone who is involved in SI/SH (self injury/self harm) , sometimes we're called "cutters." We're just using the drugs we were born with! I've had to quit cutting because my husband told me to, he's affraid I may scar my skin, even though I have not in the 15 years I've been at it but he's the boss. He's now in charge of all ministrations of pain which has caused me to rely on him more and trust him more with my feelings. It is so much better that way.

 

[graceanne]

Hello and hell yes! The pain I have from medical issues and the pain inflicted on me during sex are in two totally different categories. Over this past weekend I was fucked in one position for so long - and it was my responsibility to stay in that position - that the medical pain crossed over into the sexual pain. It was an interesting mix for me...feeling the usual exhaustion in my joints and muscles (which comes on much faster than it would for a normal person) and forcing myself to think through that pain and tolerate it even as I needed to change position.

LOL There's an idea. I'd be afraid of my muscles cramping into that position, and of it being hard to walk afterward, but otherwise that sounds kinda cool.

 

[Etoile]

I don't think you're strange at all. Many people intentionally hurt themselves. I've been known to use a razor blade or box cutter on myself as stress relief when I'm upset. When I was younger (and less "respectable") I used to love getting into fights. I once tried to take on a girl-gang, thank god they backed off, they woulda killed me! lol Now that I'm mature and have kids, I'd never behave in that way... but I miss it. Pain can become addicting because or bodies are set up to give us natural pain relievers that area chemically similar to morophine when we are hurt. Myself I think it's more strage that society finds it more acceptable to be a recreational drug user than someone who is involved in SI/SH (self injury/self harm) , sometimes we're called "cutters." We're just using the drugs we were born with! I've had to quit cutting because my husband told me to, he's affraid I may scar my skin, even though I have not in the 15 years I've been at it but he's the boss. He's now in charge of all ministrations of pain which has caused me to rely on him more and trust him more with my feelings. It is so much better that way.

I'm sorry to hear you've gone through the pain of being a cutter. Have you been to a psychiatrist or gone to therapy? I have known several cutters who insist that nothing is wrong, but SI is almost always a symptom for serious mental distress. Even those who acknowledge they are cutting to relieve pain sometimes feel they don't need to see someone or even that they don't need to stop. It's definitely frustrating and painful for family members, and I can see why your husband told you to stop. I'm glad that you're heeding his wishes, though. Cutting (and other SI, of which I am an occasional practitioner including a few nights ago) isn't healthy and if his order to stop is effective for you, then you will hopefully be better off in the long run for it.

 

[Etoile]

LOL There's an idea. I'd be afraid of my muscles cramping into that position, and of it being hard to walk afterward, but otherwise that sounds kinda cool.

Oh, I was definitely scared - mostly of failing! I was so afraid that my limbs would just give out and I'd collapse. In fact I did fall many times but I just kept forcing myself back up. Fortunately I was allowed to lie undisturbed for a while afterward.

 

[DarkMuse]

I'm sorry to hear you've gone through the pain of being a cutter. Have you been to a psychiatrist or gone to therapy? I have known several cutters who insist that nothing is wrong, but SI is almost always a symptom for serious mental distress. Even those who acknowledge they are cutting to relieve pain sometimes feel they don't need to see someone or even that they don't need to stop. It's definitely frustrating and painful for family members, and I can see why your husband told you to stop. I'm glad that you're heeding his wishes, though. Cutting (and other SI, of which I am an occasional practitioner including a few nights ago) isn't healthy and if his order to stop is effective for you, then you will hopefully be better off in the long run for it.

I have to agree with this. I'm a "former" cutter (you're never really a "former" are you? it's like being an alcoholic, the temptation is always there). I got really scared one time when I cut a little to deep, and it didn't heal, and got infected, etc. I went for counselling. It helped, but it mostly takes willpower. I'm on Celexa now, which I find helps with the anxiety and dealing with emotional pain rationally.

Although I DO like tattoos, which is a "safe" way of being in pain.

Just my 2 cents.

 

[psyche1973]

I don't want to hijack this post but I wanted to say thank you for your concern Etoile. Part of me knows it's crazy to think cutting is OK and if hubby had not insisted I stopped I'd still be at it, I tried to convince him that I should be "allowed" to do it, no dice. I have been medicated for anxiety and depression but recently weaned off of Wellbutrin SR to see how I do without it this time.
I also have found the that tattoos are a "safe" way of getting a fix, my brother is a tattoo artist I already have 3 and we're planning a set of celtic knotted wings on my back, it's going to be so awesome.

 

[graceanne]

Oh, I was definitely scared - mostly of failing! I was so afraid that my limbs would just give out and I'd collapse. In fact I did fall many times but I just kept forcing myself back up. Fortunately I was allowed to lie undisturbed for a while afterward.

LOL I can totally see that you'd fall, but it's so cool that you managed to get back up.

 

[nurse_erotic05]

yes it is

 

[landcruisergal]

After a long time nursing and a relatively short time as a masochist.The only comment I can say about pain is that Pain Is Personal.
I hear too often people saying that someone elses pain "couldn't be that bad, they dont look like they are in pain, or that they are performing, or acting up so they can get drugs"
Both my ex and my father in law have chronic pain, and still try to live active lives. Their tolerance is higher to drugs, after years of taking them so they need larger doses.Their pain threshold seems to be lower as a result of fearing acute attacks so much. So they take their painkillers and yes, they go for a walk or try to do what everyone else does. And when they take to their beds, they are accused of attention seeking.
Some folk express pain by withdrawl, becoming really quiet, some really put on a show.Doesn't mean their pain is less or more.
I can take a lot of pain, my boy can too.Admittedly some of it is ego.Seeing how hard you can push the barriers and your endurance. I know I am not half way there yet. And endorphins rock.
But give me a migraine and I'm laid up for at least 48hours.