Calamity Jane
Reverend Blue Jeans
- Joined
- Sep 19, 2001
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freakygurl said:
We can't be sisters... I refuse to believe I'm having incestuous thoughts.
I want to be open....
- Thread starter Shadowann2
- Start date
We can't be sisters... I refuse to believe I'm having incestuous thoughts.
freakygirl
Literotica Guru
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- Apr 9, 2001
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- 27,432
pagancowgirl said:We can't be sisters... I refuse to believe I'm having incestuous thoughts.
You know the saying.. Incest is best, keep it in the family.
Shadowann2
My give-a-damn's busted
- Joined
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- 8,829
First of all... Thank you all for your input.
Second of all...I am married.
You have all made some very valid points here. I said that I didn't want to hear about counsiling because I have tried to get him to go before and he refuses to. He doesn't want anyone telling him what he should do in his life. I swear...I tried!
By reading all of this it has made me realize something really bad about myself. I want an open marriage because I want the financial security of my marriage without the commitment. My modeling is spuradic and I can't support my 2 kids and myself off what I make. We have seperated before when I had a 9 to 5 kind of job and I couldn't even do it then. He never had the child support money and I couldn't make ends meet on my own. I guess I figure that if he can "cheat" on me with his porn, I should have the right to find satisfaction elsewhere.
I suppose I do have a Lit addiction problem. I joined several months ago but it has just been in the last few weeks that I have really been getting into it. I spend almost all day on it, but when he gets home I log off in hopes of spending time with him. He plays his PC game until the kids go to bed, and then he looking at porn.
I don't concider Lit porn because I am not looking at other peoples' bodies and getting turned on by thinking about what it would be like to fuck them. I don't want to cheat. The guilt would kill me. I would only sleep with someone else if he agrees to the open marriage.
I have thought about just having the internet disconnected but I'm worried that he will find an even worse outlet for his desires. I'm ok with having an open marriage where we are honest about being with other people but it would kill me if he cheats on me again. I can't take the lying that goes with it.
He has hurt me so many times that I'm too scared to end things with him and look for another relationship. I guess my origional thought, which I now see is not right, was that with an open marriage I could have my physical desires taken care of without the risk of an actual relationship. I'm such an emotional person I know that a sexual relationship without emotional involvement won't happen for me.
Whew...I just poured my whole heart out here! Sorrry for ranting, but he won't talk to me about it and when I start typing, it all comes out.
Again, Thanks for all your replies. I hope I can find a way to work this out.
Second of all...I am married.
You have all made some very valid points here. I said that I didn't want to hear about counsiling because I have tried to get him to go before and he refuses to. He doesn't want anyone telling him what he should do in his life. I swear...I tried!
By reading all of this it has made me realize something really bad about myself. I want an open marriage because I want the financial security of my marriage without the commitment. My modeling is spuradic and I can't support my 2 kids and myself off what I make. We have seperated before when I had a 9 to 5 kind of job and I couldn't even do it then. He never had the child support money and I couldn't make ends meet on my own. I guess I figure that if he can "cheat" on me with his porn, I should have the right to find satisfaction elsewhere.
I suppose I do have a Lit addiction problem. I joined several months ago but it has just been in the last few weeks that I have really been getting into it. I spend almost all day on it, but when he gets home I log off in hopes of spending time with him. He plays his PC game until the kids go to bed, and then he looking at porn.
I don't concider Lit porn because I am not looking at other peoples' bodies and getting turned on by thinking about what it would be like to fuck them. I don't want to cheat. The guilt would kill me. I would only sleep with someone else if he agrees to the open marriage.
I have thought about just having the internet disconnected but I'm worried that he will find an even worse outlet for his desires. I'm ok with having an open marriage where we are honest about being with other people but it would kill me if he cheats on me again. I can't take the lying that goes with it.
He has hurt me so many times that I'm too scared to end things with him and look for another relationship. I guess my origional thought, which I now see is not right, was that with an open marriage I could have my physical desires taken care of without the risk of an actual relationship. I'm such an emotional person I know that a sexual relationship without emotional involvement won't happen for me.
Whew...I just poured my whole heart out here! Sorrry for ranting, but he won't talk to me about it and when I start typing, it all comes out.
Again, Thanks for all your replies. I hope I can find a way to work this out.
Shadowann2
My give-a-damn's busted
- Joined
- Aug 24, 2002
- Posts
- 8,829
Last edited:
Shadowann2
My give-a-damn's busted
- Joined
- Aug 24, 2002
- Posts
- 8,829
Here it is 2:25 in the morning on our anniversary and I still lost out to the computer tonight. He bought me flowers, took me to see a movie, and bought me some nice new clothes tonight. Still, when we came home he jumped right on the internet. Thank God it wasn't porn this time, but he was so busy sending 1 line e-mails to his friend who lives down the street, that he didn't even notice when I went to bed without him at 11:30.
This weekend the kids are staying with my aunt. If I don't get sex while they're gone, I'm going to leave him. We're celebrateing 3 years of marriage and we'll have a weekend away from the kids for the first time in almost a year. If that isn't enough to lure him away from the computer, than nothing is.
Wish me luck!
This weekend the kids are staying with my aunt. If I don't get sex while they're gone, I'm going to leave him. We're celebrateing 3 years of marriage and we'll have a weekend away from the kids for the first time in almost a year. If that isn't enough to lure him away from the computer, than nothing is.
Wish me luck!
G
Guest
Guest
I don't see how having an open marriage really helps anyone.
Sure..you get to go out and basically have sex with whomever you want...but then doesn't your spouse kind of turn into a 'roomate'?
And then there are the what ifs. What if your spouse (this is said in general and not pointing any fingers at anyone) forgets his condom and ends up contracting a disease or infection and gives it to you?
Or, what if they fall in love with the flavor of the week and leave you stranded there alone in great hope that your current flavor of the week turns into something more permanent?
sounds like too much trouble to go through.
Sure..you get to go out and basically have sex with whomever you want...but then doesn't your spouse kind of turn into a 'roomate'?
And then there are the what ifs. What if your spouse (this is said in general and not pointing any fingers at anyone) forgets his condom and ends up contracting a disease or infection and gives it to you?
Or, what if they fall in love with the flavor of the week and leave you stranded there alone in great hope that your current flavor of the week turns into something more permanent?
sounds like too much trouble to go through.
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