Endings

[LegendInMyOwnMind]

Today, the second-longest relationship of my life came to an abrupt end. I had finished a video call with her, but the call didn't disconnect properly. I listened to an erotic audio, and Messenger let her hear it all. I'm now the most disgusting human being that has ever lived, and everything I ever told her was a lie. So ended an on-and-off sexless romance of eight years. Sexless, except for two or three times during her alcohol relapse. No sex before marriage was her thing, but SSI rules would only let us marry at the cost of economic suicide. What the hell were we? Horny teenagers?
I gave her a lot of leeway because of her faith, but lifetime celibacy was too heavy a cross for me to carry. Then she drove in a few more nails by forbidding me to watch porn.

Ironically, she made me feel like a teenager, and if her description of her sexual "temptations" with my name on them was anything near accurate, I made her feel like one, too. A chemistry that was truly a gift from God--and she refused it in God's name. I'm angry, but the sadness of past breakups with her hasn't surfaced. I feel a sense of freedom. I am who I am without apology or excuse. And although my male parts no longer work (name of God get me some Viagra), I'm still a very sexual being.

Have any of you experienced the breakup of a long-term relationship that felt liberating?