I want to ask her out (but I don't even know her name)

[Shenanigans]

I work in retail (a major US book chain). I've been at my job for over a year and a half. For as far back as I can remember, there's been this girl that's shopped there. She comes in every week or two and just hangs out, usually with a particular friend. Oh, and she's beautiful. Not model beautiful. But if I truly had a "type," she'd be it. She's about 5'8", shoulder length brown hair, elegant features, and I'd say weighs upward of 170-180. But she carries the weight beautifully, all in her hips and chest, a truly amazing, womanly figure.

Now here's the thing. I see beautiful girls all the time. Especially at my job. But, like her, they're all customers, and I feel very strongly about not trying anything with any of them. A) I don't want to jeopardize my employment (who wants an employee who hits on all the customers, and B) a lot of people come there to relax, and I wouldn't want to make their time there awkward in any way. Who wants to go to the store with the creepy guy that asked you out? So the fact that she's beautiful shouldn't really be too much of a problem.

But the problem is that I'm really getting a crush on this girl. When you work at a store that sells books, music and movies, it's easy to see what kind of taste a person has. And she has fantastic taste, really seems to dig a lot of the stuff that I'm in to. And while our relationship has mainly consisted of "Can I help you?" "No, I'm fine," within the past month I've been able to strike up some small conversations. Nothing major. I still don't even know her name. But I've definitely got a real crush on this girl.

So my question: Do I have any options? I don't want to ask her out. I explained my hesitation job-wise, but also, I barely know her. More importantly, she barely knows me. I really just want to see if she wants to grab a cup of coffee. I'd like to let her know that I think she seems really cool, and given the chance, she might think the same about me. Now, if I were to bump into her outside of work (I live in a small city, and the odds of that happening aren't so low) I'd have no problem striking up a conversation and asking her. But the only times I see her are when I'm at work.

Blah. I think you guys get the point. I'd love to hear if anyone has any suggestions, or has been in this situation before.

Thanks.

 

[yoshimitsu]

Well I am not exactly the mac or anything but I think a good approach would be waiting for a good oppertunity to go up to her in the book store. If she picks up a book you like go up to her and tell her how much you enjoyed it. considering she obviously like books and you work in a book store you already have a pretty good way in.

 

[glynndah]

"Hi. Would you like to go out for a cup of coffee this afternoon? I like your taste in (music, books, etc.) and I'd like to get to know you a bit better."

 

[ShinigamiSama]

Well I am not exactly the mac or anything but I think a good approach would be waiting for a good oppertunity to go up to her in the book store. If she picks up a book you like go up to her and tell her how much you enjoyed it. considering she obviously like books and you work in a book store you already have a pretty good way in.

I agree on this one

the next time you find yourself in a conversation just ask her name. Something like: I'm sorry but I can't seem to recall your name...
usualy works well for me

 

[M's girl]

So my question: Do I have any options? I don't want to ask her out.

Yes you do!

I explained my hesitation job-wise, but also, I barely know her. More importantly, she barely knows me. I really just want to see if she wants to grab a cup of coffee. I'd like to let her know that I think she seems really cool, and given the chance, she might think the same about me. Now, if I were to bump into her outside of work (I live in a small city, and the odds of that happening aren't so low) I'd have no problem striking up a conversation and asking her. But the only times I see her are when I'm at work.

OK, sorry, seriously now, I understand and you are being very wise. But on the other hand... You say you work there and she comes in there for one and a half year now. And you have not seen her outside the bookshop although the town where you live is small enough for that to be a possibility. As far as I can see this means you will have to do something to get her attention while at work....

There is a difference between hitting on someone and asking someone out for coffee, although your motives might be the same. It's a good thing you consider your job and the ethics and everything, but telling someone you like their taste (in books) is quite OK if you work in a bookstore. You may try to elongate the conversation by suggesting titles to her and asking her for suggestions back. Once you have some conversation going you could ask for other subjects/things she is interested in and after you've talked some for a few times I think asking her out for coffee to talk further is something no one could have a problem with. Worst thing that can happen is she says "no, thank you".

 

[yoshimitsu]

There is a difference between hitting on someone and asking someone out for coffee,

And IMO there is also a big difference between showing the interest you have in someone you find to be special as opposed to hitting on anything with tits that walks through the door.

 

[3andOut]

How about a simple "in" like saying she made a good choice (refering to her purchase) when she checks out. If anything that could stem into a brief conversation about favorites or maybe asking for a recommendation for next time. Even just being personable once may stem into another conversation next time. Simple conversations like that are a great way to get the ball rolling and from there ask her out for coffee to discuss literature or whatever and see where it goes. Don't worry about risking your job or looking unprofessional because that's just a drama-fueled defense mechanism stemming you trying to come up with reasons why you shouldn't put yourself out there. It's easy to see you want this since you posted about it, so go for it.

 

[glynndah]

Oh, for heaven's sake, just ask her. She's been spending all her spare cash buying things she thinks you'll be intrigued about.

 

[eudaemonia]

I agree on this one

the next time you find yourself in a conversation just ask her name. Something like: I'm sorry but I can't seem to recall your name...
usualy works well for me

Yeah, that's good. Or "I'm sorry if you told me your name before, but I'm Shenanigans" and offer you hand (if that's your thing). (I'm a sucker for it, frankly.) That may catch her off guard, but if it does you could just add to that, "I really like your taste in <books, music, movies>" to give her a moment to collect her thoughts. Be as casual about it as you can be. If she's still caught off guard and doesn't know what to say, then go "I just wanted to introduce myself. Let me know if I can help you find anything..." and then smile and walking calmly away. OTOH, if she's open to your overture, take it a little further: ask for coffee if she's relaxed about the conversation, but still get away relatively quickly." No need to over do it at first.

 

[buxxxom]

Keep us updated!

 

[Shenanigans]

I'll totally keep you guys updated. The problem is, I've got to wait for her to come back in, and that's not necessarily something to set your watch by.

Thanks for the support!

 

[Lust Engine]

I'll totally keep you guys updated. The problem is, I've got to wait for her to come back in, and that's not necessarily something to set your watch by.

Thanks for the support!

Hopefully good things come to those who are patient.

 

[eudaemonia]

Thanks for the support!

Anytime. I think I can safely speak for many who frequent this sub-forum that we're all suckers for a romantic tale of chance-taking, even when it's a less than happy ending. It's the fact that you're brave enough to take the risk to get what your heart wants that we cheer you on.

Keep us posted.

 

[naamplao]

I think I can relate to your indecision and hesitation...it comes with being a shy person of course.

When you work at a store that sells books, music and movies, it's easy to see what kind of taste a person has. And she has fantastic taste, really seems to dig a lot of the stuff that I'm in to.

But you have a nice advantage over the normal rank and file...you have an idea in her taste in books and music. After seeing her for a year and half you should have by now determined her favourite author and favourite bands.

You have the perfect icebreaker. Find something that you know will interest her and bring it to her attention. Perhaps it is an author whose work is similar to what she has been reading but she has not found or a new shipment of music you know that she will enjoy. But don't just show it to her...build a story around it...make it funny/interesting to the point that a coffee to discuss it further becomes a natural extension of the conversation. Pick a time when you have a break coming...a 30 minute coffee should lead to others. Like getting your foot in the door as a salesman...they always want 30 minutes of your time but take up longer becasuse if they are good they make you forget time^^

Knowing a customer for 1.5 years is hardly hitting on them.

 

[zont]

I'm with Glynndah...

She could very well be interested and shy about how to get your interest.

All of these suggestions are good. You have nothing to lose, and you will regret it down the line if you don't give it a try.

Let us know..