I slip one finger, then two, into my hot, wet pussy ...

[dusty_gurly]

Hi there ...

Feedback on my second story would be appreciated. It's about a girl enjoying her own body... nuff said ...

http://english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=169991

Hope you like it. Feel free to vote and/or leave a comment.

Happy reading!
dusty

 

[Boxlicker101]

Hi, Gurly. I read, voted and left a comment. A very well-written story.

 

[BlackSnake]

You "Snapped" me back to reality when you introduced the reader's voice at the end. You had a very good rhythm going up to that point.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

Excellent story, love, and I say that as someone who normally doesn't read second-person stories. It works here though, probably because the "you" is so passive.

I also like the way it goes from the way she's feeling inside to the way she expresses her feelings sexually; a natural progression of arousal. I think that in the best porn sex is an expression of emotion, and that's clear here.

The writing is lovely too, from the "peachy" light to her oyster-soft skin (I lived that), to the repeated "Don't break the spell" that works like a constant drum beat to punctuate the narrative.

All in all, very lyrical and masterfully done. I think you have real talent. I'm off to read your other story.

---dr.M.