I said 'Portly'

[Zamdrist]

nasty might be able to enlighten you on this one. Now is probably not the time to hijack this thread on the sensitivities of some of our more zaftig board members. I'm glad you had a good time with your 'portly' friend, sweetie. It's good to see the forest for the trees.

It is not what, but how you said it.

She was a voluptuous delight, She could consume you with her body. She was soft and enveloping. She pushed her boundaries.

Those are all better than "portly."

What would she have said about you?

Agreed, portly was probably the wrong word to use, and I didn't mean any harm by it.

I do think though the discussion is worth having. That is, looking past the physical and connected on a personal level. It's part of my growth, our growth.

As far as what she would say about me...I don't honeslty know. Maybe boring and average? Homely but cute homely, like a dog?

There, I feel sufficently humbled.

BTW, Blushing Rose...zaftig...I'll admit to looking that one up in the dictionary, had to pull out the hardbound Collegiate Dictionary for that. Thanks for teaching me the word.

 

[Dhalgren]

What if you had said..

“Her ears stuck out….but she was so sexual, that I looked past her flaw. And really, she’s the only girl I never minded having to look at her big ears.”

I believe you were conveying that in your eyes, you felt that she was flawed…but then you looked past it because she turned you on with her very essence.

Is it really so offensive when taken out of context?



(Oh yeah..always remember that certain words can get you kicked under the table.)

 

[ksmybuttons]

BTW, Blushing Rose...zaftig...I'll admit to looking that one up in the dictionary, had to pull out the hardbound Collegiate Dictionary for that. Thanks for teaching me the word.

I looked it up, too.

"juicy, succulent."

 

[Zamdrist]

Is it really so offensive when taken out of context?

I'm humbled further, for I know not how to respond. Out of context? Hmmm.

Thinking it through...

The big ears are a silly example, the point being me finding this gal portly (and thinking it) is silly also?

 

[ksmybuttons]

What if you had said..

“Her ears stuck out….but she was so sexual, that I looked past her flaw. And really, she’s the only girl I never minded having to look at her big ears.”

I believe you were conveying that in your eyes, you felt that she was flawed…but then you looked past it because she turned you on with her very essence.

Is it really so offensive when taken out of context?



(Oh yeah..always remember that certain words can get you kicked under the table.)

Not offensive, but judgemental. It is being measured and somehow being found lacking.

Flaws are in the mind. Look past the measurement and find a new beauty.

"Her aural delights were highly visible giving another means to hold her close."

New eyes. Worlds open.

Zen

 

[Dhalgren]

I agree with you exactly, ksmy.

I just wanted to put it in a different perspective for him.

Not silly, at all Zam..it's about words, their meaning..and the amazing effect they have on people when pertaining to delicate subjects.

 

[Zamdrist]

I agree with you exactly, ksmy.

I just wanted to put it in a different perspective for him.

Not silly, at all Zam..it's about words, their meaning..and the amazing effect they have on people when pertaining to delicate subjects.

And this place, and the Internet as a whole enunciates words. It's unlikely I would have said 'portly' outloud.

Certainly not if I was standing with you all in a bar or lounge. I would have gotten my ass kicked in.

 

[ksmybuttons]

I'm humbled further, for I know not how to respond. Out of context? Hmmm.

Thinking it through...

The big ears are a silly example, the point being me finding this gal portly (and thinking it) is silly also?

I think we limit ourselves when we put a negative word on a person or thing. If you open yourself to see with different eyes it becomes a positive feature and will become a part of your repertoire.

Portly: rather heavy or fat, stout, corpulent.

Hmmm. Not very loving. Are you now attracted to portly women?

 

[dancinvixen]

Men may be portly and still be distinguished, while women are voluptuous and still elegant.

 

[Zamdrist]

Hmmm. Not very loving. Are you now attracted to portly women?

Well when put that way no.

I'll use an example, and I hope I don't get myself in trouble, I mean it with all the kindness in my heart.

Gilly Bean is a voluptuous woman and I find her attractive. She is not however, thin. Nevertheless through her pictures and postings she seems to be a beautiful woman. I have'nt seen her in awhile around here, but she seemed to be light-hearted and friendly.

So no, I'm not attracted to portly women. I am attracted to voluptuous, intelligent, sexy and witty women.

Society of course takes a lot the blame for the attitudes people have about zaftig women (I used the word!). But that's also a cop-out for people. Like saying: "The Devil made me do it."

I know I am attracted to voluptuous women, ok, women of all sizes. But I suprise myself in how I describe what I must have in a zaftig woman. Shouldn't I want the same qualities in a 5'5" 100 lbs. Blue Eyed Blonde Woman?

 

[ksmybuttons]

When does weight become an issue?

Weight is an issue for me when:
his panniculus covers his penis.
I can't lock my legs around his back. (I have very long legs.)
Other than that, no issue.

 

[Rambling Rose]

I feel compelled to step up to the plate again for clarification.

The gal I met up in Canada was great. She was once of the few heavy-set women I was honestly attracted to. She wasn't huge or anything, but a bit portly I might say. She was so damn sexual though I could see right through her physical flaws.

My first response to this quote on its original thread was to say that I was certain that she could see through your flaws too. My problem with your statement is that, before my comment, it wasn't clear that you thought you were flawed. Basically what I am hearing here is that normally you don't like a fat woman but this one put out so much sexual energy that you looked past the flab and got off like gangbusters, to put it crudely.

Now Zamdrist, along with other board members here, I've seen you. You're not perfect. I don't want to insult you but I think the acceptance of perceived 'flaws' might have run both ways. I took slight umbrage with the word 'portly' because of its negative connotation but it was not my main focus. What prompted me to respond was your egotistical self congratulatory tone. You may have thought you were complimenting your friend, but I disagree.

I do agree that your intentions were not to insult her or anyone on this board, but you acknowledged that your words here are all we have to use as a means to get to know and understand you. They have power. Use them wisely.

*cringing inwardly at the idea that you think Gilly Bean is bigger than average*

 

[Zamdrist]

Now Zamdrist, along with other board members here, I've seen you. You're not perfect. I don't want to insult you but I think the acceptance of perceived 'flaws' might have run both ways. I took slight umbrage with the word 'portly' because of its negative connotation but it was not my main focus. What prompted me to respond was your egotistical self congratulatory tone. You may have thought you were complimenting your friend, but I disagree.

I do agree that your intentions were not to insult her or anyone on this board, but you acknowledged that your words here are all we have to use as a means to get to know and understand you. They have power. Use them wisely.

*cringing inwardly at the idea that you think Gilly Bean is bigger than average*

Your response was honest, not unexpectedly and not unwelcome. It was arrogant of me to say what I said, especially how I said it. As you so elequently put it: "I'm no deamboat."

And posting this post as I did may seem self-gratutitous, self-serving also, I don't know. But, I didn't want to hide under a rock. This isn't the place to shuffle your words or feelings under the table.

 

[ksmybuttons]

*cringing inwardly at the idea that you think Gilly Bean is bigger than average*

My thought, also. She is perfect and especially so since the last pictures I saw were about 7 weeks after having a child...Wow.

 

[Rambling Rose]

Everyone and no-one is a 'dreamboat', honey. That's my point.

I think it was adult and good-hearted of you to try to understand another viewpoint and to try to clarify your own. Besides, I am and always have been a sucker for redheads.

Peace.

 

[dreamer]

redheads

MMMMMM....nice curvey full figured redheads. Especially those with that dark auburn red hair.

I for one love zaftig women...but the sound of that particular word just doesn't roll very well to my ears. hmm Ladies with those curves that rock 'MY' word, what do you think? What's the best way you've been described?

 

[Rambling Rose]

Sumptuous comes to mind.

 

[Rubyfruit]

What is this world coming to if the Gilly Beans out there are thought to be big?

Sheesh.

 

[Desdemona]

What is this world coming to if the Gilly Beans out there are thought to be big?

Sheesh.

I couldn't have said it better myself!

 

[DulceCrema]

word!

Apparently, size 10 and up is considered "full-sized" Of course, this comes from a fashion industry that has a size zero.

 

[Rambling Rose]

Ahhhh, the night crew. My work here is done. Goodnight all!

 

[Rubyfruit]

You know what really pisses me off? You hardly ever hear a woman say, "oh he had a big gut, but I looked passed it because he was so great in bed," or "I'm usually not attracted to a man with love handles, but I was able to over-look them on him."

It's really sad how women today are still so objectified by men.

 

[Gilly Bean]

Well, lately, I have only been lurking, and not even all that much. I have actually checked in about 2x this week, this being the 2nd of the two. I knew when I said I wouldn't come back that it would be very temporary, I am to addicted. This thread did it. I did a random check to see if my name had been mentioned (yeah, I was eager to know who was talking about me ) and this thread came up top of the list, much to my suprise.


I must say, I was rather taken aback when I first noticed it. After reading throug the post several times, I came to the conclusion that my name was not mentioned in any ill way. It was to be a compliment, though it was daunting at first.

I also came to the conclusion that by societies standerds, I am rather large. I can no longer go to a jouniors section to by cute jeans. I can get tops there, but not the jeans I like. I have to go to the women's dept for those now. I am a size 14, where as once, I was a size 5. I had one child, and returned to that size 5, and most people who did not know I had given birth would never have guessed it from my appearance.

I have since given birth two more times, and have aquired what is known as Baby-bearing hips. They are rather large, and stick out roundedly (is that even a word? -shrugs) so no matter the size of my waist, I will need to accomadate hips that are 'volumptous'. My chest is larger then it was after the first child. Again, because it grows with pregnancy.

A few years ago, I would have been hurt terribly to know people thought I was bigger then average, or larger, or what not. Now, I wear the extra weight comfortably. I fill clothes out alot better then I did when I was 'en vouge'. I would much rather be a size 14 then a 5. Now, I would be perfectly happy to shed another size or two, down to perhaps a 10, but alas, that may never happen. And I am comfortable with that.


So, thanks for thinking of me, because it made me think about myself, and how others veiw my outward appearance.

 

[Weevil]

Hey people, back off it. He used a word, he didn't use it in an insulting way. It was his honest reading of the situation. Back off and lets put the language police back in their cage.

Or clarify the situation by posting a list of words we're not allowed to use to describe someone.

Jeez.

 

[ksmybuttons]

Hey people, back off it. He used a word, he didn't use it in an insulting way. It was his honest reading of the situation. Back off and lets put the language police back in their cage.

Or clarify the situation by posting a list of words we're not allowed to use to describe someone.

Jeez.

Portly is gender specific.