I need some ideas people.

[Kain]

I know I don't post here alot, only because I don't have much experience. That being said I need some ideas from you fine people. My girl is coming to visit on Friday and she wants to have our first play session. She has never done anyting like this before, but was always interested. I have limited real world experience. How should I start, what should I do first? To clarify I am a Dom, she is a sub. I know some of the things she wants to try, we have also discussed bounderies and limits exhaustively. I feel like my pulse is going a million miles an hour just thinking about this. I feel totaly lost here, please help!

 

[Sex & Diamonds]

I can't offer any help, but I do wish you luck...

I'm sure if you take your time, it will all be good.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

(kiss kain)

first off stud muffin...what types of things are You and she interested in? What types of toys do You have (if any)..Are You or she into any types of play besides what You have all ready done? Answer these for me...and then mayhap i can help...

kises
lil girl

 

[Kain]

First off, I have so missed talking to you. I hope you are doing well.
Let's see here, *opens toy box* I have some riding crops, a paddle, and assorted ass whackers. One of the things she expressed an interest in. I have various shackles, collars restraints. Another of her interests was to be tied/shackled up and fucked raw. A couple of nipple clamps, she has beautiful breasts and nipples that screem to be clamped, licked, sucked. Handcuffs, and a blindfold. Wow, I guess I have quite a few toys. Anyway, I don't have anything to shackle/cuff/tie her to. I do have an olympic weight bench, it is full of holes and rings, I thought that might add a neat dynamic to things. Like I said I basicaly habe no experience, so I really just need some creative ideas and some way to get the ball rolling. PS sorry for being so long winded.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Oh boy ...

Start with the senses ... and this one you need to ask her outright. Will she wear a blindfold?

If she will, take control, and do nothing for a bit, just watch her.

See if her pulse speeds up by looking at her throat. Watch if her skin flushes, does she go "goose pimply," any number of things.

The key is anticipation ... for both you and her.

Then try touching her. Close your eyes if you can, and start memorizing. What you feel, hear, smell, and taste all will enhance what you see the next time you open your eyes.

You have the control, and you have her boundaries.

Enjoy the hell out of yourself ... and best of luck.

 

[Never]

Ah, make her strip for you, tie her down, blindfold her, and paddle her ass for a while. Place a vibrator, set on low, on her clit and tell her she must not come until you give your permission and that won't be granted without some serious begging, increase the speed every few minutes. Remember to feed her suggestions, things like, "I'm nothing but a dirty cunt. - I'm unworthy of you. – I'm nothing but your cunt. – Use me like the bitch I am." At some point, whip out the candles and ice cubes. Remember, an ice cube placed directly on a clit for more than a minute can hurt like a mother.

Just some suggestions I pulled out of the air. Use, ignore, or tailor them as you see fit. I wouldn't whip out the cat-o-nine tails and rubber isolation suits on the first date though unless she's expressed an interest.

 

[Kain]

Ah, make her strip for you, tie her down, blindfold her, and paddle her ass for a while. Place a vibrator, set on low, on her clit and tell her she must not come until you give your permission and that won't be granted without some serious begging, increase the speed every few minutes. Remember to feed her suggestions, things like, "I'm nothing but a dirty cunt. - I'm unworthy of you. – I'm nothing but your cunt. – Use me like the bitch I am." At some point, whip out the candles and ice cubes. Remember, an ice cube placed directly on a clit for more than a minute can hurt like a mother.

Just some suggestions I pulled out of the air. Use, ignore, or tailor them as you see fit. I wouldn't whip out the cat-o-nine tails and rubber isolation suits on the first date though unless she's expressed an interest.

*takes notes* Ice is a no-no she hates cold. Hot wax is a go. LOL, no iso suits here. Assassin, great idea, thank you.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

Seems that both AA and Never covered things quite well. Speaking as a sometime subbie, i can tell You, for someone who is unused to things, taking it out of her hands (by either blindfolding or keeping her eyes SHUT) leaves You more room to study and helps heighten the tension (while at the same time taking her completely OUT of all control).

Since you two have all ready discussed her likes and dislikes thoroughly (along with Your own) for a first time scenario..i would take it slow. If it's done with care and concern, it's a guarantee, sweet Man, that You will both enjoy it!!!

kisses darlin dear

lil girl

 

[AngelicAssassin]

*takes notes* Ice is a no-no she hates cold. Hot wax is a go. LOL, no iso suits here. Assassin, great idea, thank you.

Quite welcome ... save the ice for yourself, you might need it for sore muscles by the time you're done, and more power to you ... http://www.1st-vets.org/forum/images/smiles/icon_twisted.gif

 

[Pure]

Wondering... Why do you say, "I am a dom."? Just curious, no disrespect intended.

Have fun in your play, with all these ideas.

 

[WriterDom]

Lose the handcuffs and get some leather restraints to fit both her ankles and wrists. They are safer and more versatile. With a simple metal connector you have instant cuffs. Or you can attach wrists to ankles. Or either or both to a spreader bar. The possibilities are limited only by your imagination. And a play collar with one or more rings would be a nice addition.

 

[Quint]

What do YOU want to do? I'm getting a lot of suggestions for HER benefit, but you're the Dom. Get what you want out of it that doesn't cross her limits. Be as creative as pleases you.

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

Dropkick her in the throat...that is a quick ticket to subspace...trust me.

 

[SexyChele]

Actually, I would avoid sensory deprivation for the first play session or two. Blindfolds and restraints sound so damn sexy - until you realize you are completely at the mercy of another person who really has very little knowledge of what he's doing. There is more to this than simply tying some on up or blindfolding them. When you know she feels 100% comfortable with having you dominate her, then I would add a blindfold and light restraints.

Good luck!

 

[rosco rathbone]

Dropkick her in the throat...that is a quick ticket to subspace...trust me.

Damn, Johnny. And I thought *I* had rage.

 

[Never]

Pure:
"Why do you say, "I am a dom."? Just curious, no disrespect intended."

Because... he's a dom?
That's the first thing that popped into my mind, at least.

 

[Bondagebunni]

Pure:
"Why do you say, "I am a dom."? Just curious, no disrespect intended."

Because... he's a dom?
That's the first thing that popped into my mind, at least.

that was what i thought, too.

is it supposed to have some sort of extra meaning?

 

[s'lara]

What do YOU want to do? I'm getting a lot of suggestions for HER benefit, but you're the Dom. Get what you want out of it that doesn't cross her limits. Be as creative as pleases you.

Ditto. i thought it was about what please You. Her pleasure is at Your discretion.

lara

 

[s'lara]

Damn, Johnny. And I thought *I* had rage.

i think it was an attempt at humor. We can all make the attempt, but very few of us succeed - as in this case:

Dropkick her in the throat...that is a quick ticket to subspace...trust me.

It's particularly difficult with hard text.

 

[Speakeasy]

Kain...

Sounds like you have all the equipment and desire you need. My suggestion is to go with the flow. There's no right or wrong way to do it, so PLAY.

It's not so much the actions you take as the attitude you have. You will do fine. You are both in uncharted waters, and you're the captain.

Enjoy enjoy enjoy.

S

 

[tiez]

lots of toys, but...

You seem to have lots of toys, which is good. Handy even.

However, toys alone won't get you what you want. You're setting a scene for hte two of you to play in. Even if it's not roleplay, per se, but just the two of you being a little 'kinky'. Strapping her down with cuffs won't do much. Simply beating her ass won't do much.

Take this for example, in college, there was a girl I was dating that was the first woman to swat me on my ass. She did it while I was on top of her, missionary, and I had started to slow down a little. It was more than a slap to be kinky, it was a slap to tell me to keep moving, that she was close. And hte look in her eyes was unforgetable too, letting me know that she'd spank my ass again if she wanted and that she could tell it turned me on. Her look also said that "Hey, even if I'm on the bottom of this fucking, I'm still in charge, so you better fuck me harder."

And some of my first experiences in a more definitive D/s relationship involved me wearing a collar in public. A small thing to most people. "Look, it's another guy walking around with a collar." In a city like Boston, that wasn't a big deal at all. But to me, that collar was full of blinking neon lights that said "Look at me! I've got a domme who beats my ass with a riding crop!" Again, the physical aspect of the collar was minimal, but the emotional impact was great.

Think about where you want to take her. Make sure you know a few things that she feels submissive about. When you've been talking, at what points did she seem to get quiet? i.e. a little passive in the conversation? What things made her excited when you talked? You need to know these things to help guide her into a pleasant place for her mind to be. By dealing with her body in certain ways, you can help her into this 'subspace'. Go slow, watch her reactions and be sure to have a safe word in case she feels overwhelmed or unsure of something. As you get more into it, both of you will know more about what limits can/should be pressed and which ones cannot.

By all means, since this is one of your first scenes together, be sure to take some time for aftercare, just sitting and holding each other, or watching a movie or something. And take some time to talk about what you did, what things were good, what things weren't. The more you communicate about what rocked and what sucked, the better all your future scenes will be.

It's more a mental game than a physical one. Don't feel it necessary to use ALL the toys this weekend!

Good luck and have fun.

 

[Never]

What do YOU want to do? I'm getting a lot of suggestions for HER benefit, but you're the Dom. Get what you want out of it that doesn't cross her limits. Be as creative as pleases you.

I didn't have "her" in mind at all when I gave my suggestions.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

I didn't have "her" in mind at all when I gave my suggestions.

Strange, neither did i. i rather thought i suggested getting to know the terrain ...

 

[Pure]

Pure said
"Why do you say, "I am a dom."? Just curious, no disrespect intended."

Never said,
/Because... he's a dom?
That's the first thing that popped into my mind, at least./

Well let me use an example. Suppose someone posted

"I'm a race car driver. I just bought a Ferrari Testarossa, and I'd like some detailed information how you start it up and drive. I've had limited real world experience with racing cars; are they that different from the T-bird I drove in high school."

Would you post a question something like mine?

 

[Never]

No I wouldn't ask that question but I understand what you're getting at. You're assuming that 'Dom' means someone with more than a bit of real world experience under his belt as the dominant partner in a sexual relationship. I'm not.

I'm treating the word 'dom' the same way as I would the word 'lesbian'. As more an expression of someone's nature than their life experience or expertise in an area.

AngelicAssassin,
It's odd what gets lost in translation.