I need blow-your-mind help

[MystiqDrgn]

My boyfriend said I was bad in bed, which I know I am because I'm very new to the whole sex thing. Still, it stung. Does anyone have any suggestion for what I can do that will make him take it back?

If anyone ever told me I was bad in bed, I'd have to ask if they would prefer the kitchen. It's closer to the back door as I kick their ass out.

Sex is a mutual experience. If he thinks you were bad, he probably didn't do his part and would rather transfer blame to you then accept the responsibility. Obviously you are attractive and able to turn a man on, or you'd never make it to the bedroom to begin with. Technique takes time and a partner willing to teach you what turns them on. Likewise, you have the same responsibility to teach them what your likes and dislikes are. Don't sweat it love, I am sure you are wonderful! Concentrate on your possitives... Selfishness of a boy is hardly worth your time.

What can you do to make him take it back you ask... Find someone who loves you for you and let him know what a great lover you are!

~Myst~

 

[DuckLover]

Do NOT put up with a guy who is disrespecting you. I have repeatedly told my gf to dump my ass immediately if I ever treat her poorly.

Whether you decide to break up with him or not, make sure he knows that his comments were hurtful and that you will not tolerate a repeat. There are LOTS of other guys out there, even if it doesn't always seem like it. Nobody is saying that partners shouldn't critique and learn from each other-- we are saying that the process should be supportive and respectful.

Your bf has not EARNED blow-your-mind sex. Don't waste the effort on an unappreciative partner.

The suggestions you'll find on Lit, in the boards and the stories, can be very beneficial in developing amazing skills. When you find someone worthy of your love and effort, you WILL be able to have blow-your-mind sex...for both of you. It doesn't HAVE to be an older/more experienced guy, just one who is respectful and willing to enjoy the learning process.

Sex is a life-long learning process, especially since every person reacts differently. It's a lot of fun when you're with a truly caring partner. (I love you SexyGiggles!!) It can be funny when you try new things-- "Haha! THAT didn't work out too well; what can we do next time to make it better?" Sometimes an act, whether new or old, doesn't feel great, but a good partner will still be appreciative of you doing it. Ideally they'll tell you (or you can ask) what can improve it.

I think there are two sides to sex: technique and passion. Technique can be learned and improved; passion is intrinsic and can rarely be faked. I would MUCH rather have a partner with passion (desire, interest, etc) than one with technique. Passion itself is sexy, a turn on. Even the worst blowjob is still a blowjob, and if she's REALLY into, obviously enjoying herself and striving to please me, it'll be good. With that level of enthusiasm, I know she'll be willing to modify her technique, which will lead to indescribably awesome blowjobs in the future. And don't forget, it goes both ways. He needs to learn from you, to make sex better for you also. I just recently got an in-depth lesson on how best to masturbate SG; I can hardly wait to put that new knowledge to work!! (Damn these LDR's...)

Bottom Line: You should not put up with disrespect from your partner. Sex is a learning process FOR TWO PEOPLE, regardless of each of your experience level. Don't be concerned about your technique, focus on enoying the experience and learning from your partner (and vice-versa); technique will take care of itself. PASSION is what makes you an excellent lover, not technique.

 

[Avery_Chisholm]

totally agree's with PEACHY you don't need his ungrateful ass

 

[isshogai7]

i think there's a BIG difference between informative and derogatory comments.What about cleaning his own room before playng maid to others?Does he's any good? Judging by the comment i think not.
How HE is in bed? Lousy i suppose.Many people have already written about it,i will only add:
read some posts here,ther's plenty of good advice.Get a book if you must,or research the net,you can find helpful suggestions(along the lines of "let's try this",NOT "how little i know");follow your heart and senses and everything will get better for you.
Practice..with another man !And later send to him a detailled description of what you've learned ,followed by the stunned compliments of the other guy .Remember that you're special being and you deserve respect ,love and consideration.
Anytime i always find something new and interesting to try out,for mine and my partners enjoyment;it's a work in progress.
I hope you will get ll the consideration you deserve.


Isshogai7

 

[SexyGiggles]

Whether you decide to break up with him or not, make sure he knows that his comments were hurtful and that you will not tolerate a repeat. There are LOTS of other guys out there, even if it doesn't always seem like it. Nobody is saying that partners shouldn't critique and learn from each other-- we are saying that the process should be supportive and respectful.

I agree 150% with what DuckLover said here -- you HAVE to let him know his comments were hurtful! If you leave but don't tell him, he'll do it to someone else. If you stay but don't tell him, he'll only do it again. You need to be able to stand up and say "Hey, that's not right!" It's much easier to learn to do this now, early in your relationship track record, than to try to learn it years from now after several failed attempts at it...trust me, I know! Stand up and tell him! Tell him now! Don't tell him during sex or while being intimate -- tell him "I was upset when you said ______. It hurt me because _______." Tell him WHY and HOW it made you feel. Don't put up with it!! If you put up with it this time, you'll put up with it next time too! And the next time! And the next time!! Doesn't matter who you are with, you need to be able to say "That's not right!"

NO ONE deserves to be talked to like that, no matter what you did or didn't do! Don't take it sitting (or lying) down!!!

Good luck!