I might be inheriting a Munch

[BlueSugar]

Around the holiday time I was looking for a group so I can get out in the real world and make a real bond with the lifestyle. After a few months of looking, I finally found a group that still meets.

I went ... and it was just M and I ... and P, the leader of the group.
We went again and brought a few prespectives, and P had found a few in the area and it was a good 8 people.
P had said there are a few people around that used to come but are back in their own worlds and haven't come out for the last few... it was clear the group was dieing and about to be given up upon until I came around.

P had contacted me last week and said he had a really good job offer out of state, and just might take it... he had also said in the same breath, that he might leave it to me, the younger generation to help the group live on.

I can take on the responsibility of the awkward group, I can send emails, find a place to go, and even scrounge up topics to help the group not be so awkward. We're in a small area, not many people and alot of space between them. There are better groups up to two and three hours away, but there was/is nothing for us if I let the group die.

I can't let that happen. I have a connection with at least two colleges, I'm young and able... which is what I am worried about. Anyone else in the area aside from the college connection is much older then I, and have been in the lifestyle much longer.

I feel that I have something to prove. Is this the case really?

I am knowledgable, but I feel like the guy from the movie Outbreak that hasn't done much - but has read about it...

Where (besides kink stores and possibly an open minded coffee house) can I stick a flier that will grab the proper audience.
What are key words I can use on them that aren't overt and I wont get a bunch of bashers to email me for harrassment? At the same time I do not want to be too cryptic.

I want to be taken seriously, I want people to feel safe and it isn't a kid/adult group - but a place for all people. I don't want intimidation... and I need another place to meet I think. Currently we're in a Chinese Buffet place.. its nice, cheap, easy to get to, good area in the middle of all the towns I can reach... but it isn't an easy place to speak freely.

help?
discuss?

I've been on the side where I was new to the group, I've been on the side where I am the youngest ... but I have never started a group like this before, it is much easier when the subject matter isn't such a devient...

 

[Guest]

Around the holiday time I was looking for a group so I can get out in the real world and make a real bond with the lifestyle. After a few months of looking, I finally found a group that still meets.

I went ... and it was just M and I ... and P, the leader of the group.
We went again and brought a few prespectives, and P had found a few in the area and it was a good 8 people.
P had said there are a few people around that used to come but are back in their own worlds and haven't come out for the last few... it was clear the group was dieing and about to be given up upon until I came around.

P had contacted me last week and said he had a really good job offer out of state, and just might take it... he had also said in the same breath, that he might leave it to me, the younger generation to help the group live on.

I can take on the responsibility of the awkward group, I can send emails, find a place to go, and even scrounge up topics to help the group not be so awkward. We're in a small area, not many people and alot of space between them. There are better groups up to two and three hours away, but there was/is nothing for us if I let the group die.

I can't let that happen. I have a connection with at least two colleges, I'm young and able... which is what I am worried about. Anyone else in the area aside from the college connection is much older then I, and have been in the lifestyle much longer.

I feel that I have something to prove. Is this the case really?

I am knowledgable, but I feel like the guy from the movie Outbreak that hasn't done much - but has read about it...

Where (besides kink stores and possibly an open minded coffee house) can I stick a flier that will grab the proper audience.
What are key words I can use on them that aren't overt and I wont get a bunch of bashers to email me for harrassment? At the same time I do not want to be too cryptic.

I want to be taken seriously, I want people to feel safe and it isn't a kid/adult group - but a place for all people. I don't want intimidation... and I need another place to meet I think. Currently we're in a Chinese Buffet place.. its nice, cheap, easy to get to, good area in the middle of all the towns I can reach... but it isn't an easy place to speak freely.

help?
discuss?

I've been on the side where I was new to the group, I've been on the side where I am the youngest ... but I have never started a group like this before, it is much easier when the subject matter isn't such a devient...

Does this make you a Munchkin????

Try a steakhouse... They often have large party rooms, or semi private areas.

 

[Nyte_BlackRose]

You could try libraries, book stores, possibly hardware stores, fabric stores, or even public squares. You could also try a discrete ad in a local paper. Try something along the lines of

Open minded adult interest group, for meeting, greeting and discussion of delicate subjects.

That might get some interest, and isn't too overt. I wish you all the luck in the world, I really wish there was something like that here. Maybe I will have to look into starting one myself... let me know what works for you.

 

[BlueSugar]

Does this make you a Munchkin????

Try a steakhouse... They often have large party rooms, or semi private areas.

Sounds like a good idea, in VT steakhouses are plentiful, but all have 4 person booths... its nice when people really know eachother and break off and have friend's groups and are fine enough on their own to move around and talk freely.

But I have 4-5 (20s) college students at the moment, and 3-4 adults (40-60s)

And there was only one meeting that everyone was at... I need a longer table, and people between to bridge the large gap.

Maybe not, but besides the students... the "adults" don't have the benefits of internet/lit type communities and are alittle harder to reach.


I advise anyone that might feel as if they're alone, and no one around is like them or have their interests - to not give up in their search. What I found was small, but had alot of potential.


... and yes, I suppose, with my face time concerning bdsm, and my new status to the live community added with my height and possibly new position in the community... I'm a munchkin.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I think you have the perfect personality for making such a munch group work. Perhaps you could find a community hall or similar to hire at an inexpensive amount, or perhaps even approach one of the local colleges to see if they are willing to let you use one of their rooms.....often you will find they are open to such ideas. As to the age factor, IME with a LGBT group I set up, I mentioned in all handouts and advertisements etc., that the group was based on the principle of non-discrimination in all ways including age, gender, sexuality, race, religion....and that was a big attraction for most of the people who joined. You may need to design advertising of a variety of designs depending where you want to place them....I am of the thought they will require somewhere some indication of what the theme is even if only a discrete BDSM symbol in the corner of a flyer. Good luck with it and please keep us posted on how it is going.

Catalina

 

[BlueSugar]

I think you have the perfect personality for making such a munch group work. Perhaps you could find a community hall or similar to hire at an inexpensive amount, or perhaps even approach one of the local colleges to see if they are willing to let you use one of their rooms.....often you will find they are open to such ideas. As to the age factor, IME with a LGBT group I set up, I mentioned in all handouts and advertisements etc., that the group was based on the principle of non-discrimination in all ways including age, gender, sexuality, race, religion....and that was a big attraction for most of the people who joined. You may need to design advertising of a variety of designs depending where you want to place them....I am of the thought they will require somewhere some indication of what the theme is even if only a discrete BDSM symbol in the corner of a flyer. Good luck with it and please keep us posted on how it is going.

Catalina

oo I didn't even think to ask one of the colleges for a room once a month or so. Hopefully the 20 or so extra miles from the current location to one of the colleges is ok... though, that would involve possibly having a treasurer of sorts because at the college there wouldn't be a food/drink source... and I wouldn't want to turn it into one of those sit in a circle groups too quickly.
The restaurant atmosphere lets people come and take a look and sit elseware if they aren't comfortable yet
Though, I may be nitpicking now. oi.


AND haha, so last night M and I went to the local supermarket, and we bumped into P. Everynow and then I wonder who likes what while boredly standing in line... ya know... making up stories of whos the sub and what dude is wearing girly panties.. tehe.. and this time, I KNEW there was a kinkster in line ... thats a fun piece of infornmation haha.

 

[catalina_francisco]

oo I didn't even think to ask one of the colleges for a room once a month or so. Hopefully the 20 or so extra miles from the current location to one of the colleges is ok... though, that would involve possibly having a treasurer of sorts because at the college there wouldn't be a food/drink source... and I wouldn't want to turn it into one of those sit in a circle groups too quickly.
The restaurant atmosphere lets people come and take a look and sit elseware if they aren't comfortable yet
Though, I may be nitpicking now. oi.


AND haha, so last night M and I went to the local supermarket, and we bumped into P. Everynow and then I wonder who likes what while boredly standing in line... ya know... making up stories of whos the sub and what dude is wearing girly panties.. tehe.. and this time, I KNEW there was a kinkster in line ... thats a fun piece of infornmation haha.

With our group we all donated a sum to the coffee, sugar, milk fund and everyone bought a plate of something to eat and we all shared....had some delicious evenings.

Catalina

 

[onceburned]

oo I didn't even think to ask one of the colleges for a room once a month or so.

You might consider the local public library as well. Many of them have meeting rooms which can handle 30 people or so. One of the groups I belong to holds their Dom and Sub Forums at the public library.

Advertising... I can't give advice on. I live in a conservative rural state and the consensus is that if people want to find us, they will. So neither of the groups I belong to do any kind of direct advertising.

However, you might want to make sure that your group is noticeable on the internet. A webpage will help, and so will mentioning the next munch in the email lists of other local BDSM groups. Heck, if any of those groups have an online forum or message board you can even do some shameless advertising there.

Oh, and several websites maintain national lists of munches and BDSM groups. Caryl's Page is usually very good but I noticed that she has only three groups listed for Vermont and yet the Rose & Thorn website seems to show five in Vermont. Make sure your group is listed!

Oh, and be sure to network with the other groups. Make yourself known to them so they can refer people to you.

 

[ghosst_K&H]

Most Outback, Logans, Lonestars, and Texas Roadhouse's have private rooms available, and our munch was held at Logans, and Outback at one time.

 

[DVS]

Watch out for inbreading. In my area, there used to be two large groups. Some were members of both, and then started the fighting over who was better, or if people should be members of more than one group, etc.

One is still kind of thriving, having regular meetings and they still have guest speakers and "how to" meetings where you can actually learn about things you are interested in. That does tend to draw people in. This group even has it's own nudist event, which is at a local B&B, which is mostly small cabins in a wooded area. Quite nice, unless you and misquitoes are friendly.

But, the downfall of that group is you must either be a member, or be a guest of a member. They don't allow walk ins. I understand that, because we live in a kind of conservative area. Not that it is that concervative, but there are a lot of religious whackos here, who love to get themselves on TV by picketing the hedonist heathens.

The other group? It's kind of still there, too. The email list is still going. That is mostly because of a sexual expression group that's joined. The leader of this expression group has kind of stirred up new interest for the old members who had stagnating. And, we live very close to a large university, so the younger crowd is starting to notice, by visiting the shows and meeting group members.

But, this second group almost broke up, because of it's own inbread fighting. There were quite a few who left to form their own groups, for whatever reason. And, this group has had it's share of picketing, too.

Anybody heard of Fred Phelps? Yep, he's from this area and is a big gay basher. Because some gays are involved in BDSM, Fred tends to look at us as some sort of enabler, I guess.

So, what do I mean by saying all of this? Munches are great. But, they must be nurtured. Intrest is easy, in the beginning, but keeping that interest is difficult. A lot of keeping that interest is finding a regular mieeting place where you can be safe and open with what is said or done. And, go easy on the rules. That was part of the downfall of groups in this area, I think. Munches should be fun with few restricting rules. The basic SS&C should be fine, along with basic common sense tactics.

Meeiting in a resturant will be OK for a while, but you do want to do more than just sit around and chat about your BDSM lifestyles, I'd presume. Fetish parties, "how to" shows, or maybe just Sunday afternoon potlucks in the park should be thought of.

Oh, but the more you get open, and relaxed with your group, the more you are noticed. And, the more you are wanting to expand, the more you want to advertise this fact. Getting noticed is double sided. You want to be exposed to the frendlies, but you also expose yourself to the unfrleindles at the same time.

In one group we think we had a infiltrator, but never found out, for sure. We just knew tjat several times we scheduled a meeting, the holier than us group came out. Talk about looking at your group members in a different way!! That can kill a good time, rather quickly.

Advertising is difficult. Strategies should be thought out. Fetish shops might allow you to post a flier, and you might get one of their people to come demo their latiest new toys at a meeting, provided you find you a nice secluded meeting place. No, the library wouldn't be good, for that one.

Most cities have a rag that will allow all kinds of ads posted. Maybe yours will let you post for free, or at least a minimal price. Didn't you say you were close to a college? They have all sorts of little free papers around, and they love something to talk about. And, most are liberal enough that your group would fit right in.

Yes, someone said a webisite would be good. And, you can pretty much say anything you want on there. An event calendar is good, for when you have something of interest planned, and you can post the address on your fliers.

Someone also said networking is good. Sure it is. Get that website going and get on the lists. Let people know you exist. Word of mouth is great for the locals, but it only goes so far. Maybe your neighbor is into BDSM. It's difficult to bring that up, in a conversation across the backyard fence.

For a lot of people, distance is a factor. If you're trying to bring some people out of the woodwork, you need some sort of draw or make it tempting for them to attend. Don't make members drive too far for meetings. Maybe have some on one side of town, and others on another side of town. Then, have special meetings with attractions that will draw all members.

I'd love to do something like this, but my vamilla lifestlye and lack of time keeps me from doing so. It can be very absorbing, as you are probably finding out. I hope it continues to be fun for you, and your group contines to get enjoyment from your hard work.


EDITED to add...my God, I do ramble sometimes!