I Have Never (version 3)

[LourdMorpheus]

I have never been sexually dominated by a woman….. still waiting

 

[AZDryHeat]

I have never completely understood Einstein's Theory of Relativity.

 

[Blues]

I have never seen a roadrunner in person

 

[mnbreastluver]

IHN fingered someone in a movie theater and got caught.

 

[Taegul]

IHN been caught by a family member humping an apple pie.

 

[mnbreastluver]

IHN destroyed an apple pie to the point a family member would know not to eat it.

 

[Taegul]

IHN lost a fight with Chuck Norris.

Still undefeated.

 

[mnbreastluver]

IHN sailed across the ocean in a dingy with a dildo plugging a hole.

 

[Taegul]

IHN owned Nike shoes as an adult.

 

[mnbreastluver]

IHN pushed a penguin off an iceberg

 

[Writer_FM]

IHN crossdressed in public.

 

[mnbreastluver]

IHN won the Daytona 500.

 

[awired50]

IHN been to a professional basketball game.

 

[VoraciousValue]

I have never sexually satisfied Sandra Bullock (or any other Oscar winner for that matter).

 

[Taegul]

IHN robbed a bank with a water pistol.

 

[mnbreastluver]

IHN gotten a BJ with pop rocks in her mouth.

 

[mnbreastluver]

IHN hated myself and posted about it.

 

[Shenanigans90]

IHN pretended to forget my wallet so my date would pay for dinner.

 

[luckylegsat60]

I have never paid for dinner because my date forgot his wallet.

 

[mnbreastluver]

IHN gotten a gum job from a woman in a nursing home that took out her dentures.

 

[Taegul]

IHN hitchhiked across the country, paying for my rides with sexual favors.

 

[mnbreastluver]

IHN taken a sex doll in a hot tub

 

[Farmerboy4u]

IHN been in a hot air balloon.

I have. It’s pretty cool to be just peacefully floating up above the ground.

 

[Shenanigans90]

IHN taken tequila body shots off a nun.

 

[lilmissdarling]

IHN taken tequila body shots off a nun.

But now I feel like I need to.

IHN watched a John Wayne movie.