I have always wanted to ask the Dominants....

[MissTaken]

What does it FEEL like?

When you spank a lily white set of buttocks is all about the erection and arousal or is there a "Domspace", a headspace that you float into?

When you say a word and your sub's lip begins to tremble, how does it really feel?

When you are both lying spent and exhausted and you are holding her close, bringing her out of subspace, what does it feel like? What compels you to do so rather than roll over and go to sleep?


I really would love to find away to get inside the head of a Dominant.

So, tell all, please and thank you!

 

[Valerianne]

Marking this to return to read over comments at a later date.

 

[Marquis]

I have class now, but I love the question and I will be back with a long answer later tonight.

 

[Ricckk]

What does it FEEL like?
When you say a word and your sub's lip begins to tremble, how does it really feel?

One personal answer:

To me, it is not about sex at all. Sexual tension and release is always stronger with someone you are attracted to or under conditions that arouse you regardless of the type of relationship.

For me it is the feeling I get from having someone trust me so very very deeply and without reservation. To trust that even when I make mistakes they are for the right reasons. To trust that the mistakes will be few. The feeling of knowing that she puts me above herself, looks to me for guidance and protection even when it is within her capability to make a joyous path for herself. That I can silence, elate, or relax her with only a glance or a pause in my voice.

To analyze farther would erase some of the 'magic'. I liked hotdogs a lot better until I found out what they contained.

 

[LadyHeart]

I absolutely believe in a "Dom/me Space". Maybe that is because I've been there. I've been in subspace too. They are very different places, but similar at the same time. Dom/me space for me was a surreal feeling, like it was just our scene, nothing else existed. I wanted to do more, feed on her reactions. I had to really concentrate to keep my focus. It was a wonderful feeling. I had to force myself to end the scene, because I wanted it to go on forever. That's the best way I can explain it at the moment.


LadyHeart


My Stories

 

[lark sparrow]

Is there, at some level, a feeling of detachment within the control? Detachment may not be the most correct word to use, as I realize the symbiotic nature of the exchange, and the deep bond it can create between Dominant and submissive, but I wonder about the power/control dynamic from the side of the Dominant (within that concentration/focus).

 

[snoozebutton]

What does it FEEL like?

When you spank a lily white set of buttocks is all about the erection and arousal or is there a "Domspace", a headspace that you float into?

When you say a word and your sub's lip begins to tremble, how does it really feel?

When you are both lying spent and exhausted and you are holding her close, bringing her out of subspace, what does it feel like? What compels you to do so rather than roll over and go to sleep?


I really would love to find away to get inside the head of a Dominant.

So, tell all, please and thank you!

The only way I can describe it is that it's for a Dom like it is for a woman the first time a man she likes has the nerve to kiss her the first time.

 

[RisiaSkye]

For me, the headspace is more important than the actual sex--or even the "turn on"--component of Dominance. Don't get me wrong--a nice hot pink ass is a gorgeous sight, and there are lots of other highly erotic sights, sounds, etc. attached to being the Top partner.

But, more importantly, there's tremendous confidence and entitlement and intense awareness of the dichotomy between one's enormous responsibility to the bottom partner and one's total license to do with them as one desires. I feel completely free to do as I like, I feel welcomed to give someone an experience unlike any they've had before, or to build on what we've done, or to push the envelope of their sexuality.

It's funny, actually, because while I like how a bottom looks in leather and chains, that's not the important part for me. And while I love to swing a flogger or a crop, that's not the key component either--although when I'm on bottom, that stuff matters to me. When I'm on Top, though, it's all about the mind, the voice, and eye contact. It's knowing that I'm fully in that moment, and that s/he can challenge me all they like and struggle for a little preservation of self-control--but, in the end, they're mine not because I've got them tied up or because I could hurt them, but because I made them want it. In fact, I've made them *ask* for the very things that would signify coersion if done against their will; it's quite an experience to make them beg for me to take control utterly away from their reach. There's a mindfuck for you. Don't underestimate its seductiveness.

And perhaps this is just because I'm female (to continue the use of an old stereotype about men sleeping after sex), but I find it very energizing. I'm not tired afterwards, I'm jazzed. So, the aftercare isn't the burden it might seem like to some. Besides the obvious fact that it's the price you pay to play with your pet, it's also a chance to drift on the emotional and endorphin rush of the scene, and to give your sub a chance to return to their normal headspace rather than collapsing into it when their adrenaline runs out.

JMO, as always.

RS

 

[Ebonyfire]

Gee, I think I just lost my erection.

What does it FEEL like?

When you spank a lily white set of buttocks is all about the erection and arousal or is there a "Domspace", a headspace that you float into?

When you say a word and your sub's lip begins to tremble, how does it really feel?

When you are both lying spent and exhausted and you are holding her close, bringing her out of subspace, what does it feel like? What compels you to do so rather than roll over and go to sleep?


I really would love to find away to get inside the head of a Dominant.

So, tell all, please and thank you!

 

[MissTaken]

I know a Dom

who enjoys the power and while we never really discussed the headspace, he made a comment once.

He told me that the physical energy and momentum of swinging the flogger was part of what met his needs.

Also, my begging for more, was another part of the turn on.

He told me, too, that when I was bound, and blindfolded, my body stretched and exposed and my mind only open to his will, that was a high point, for him.

I still want to understand more about how it feels. Perhaps, I never will be able to.

 

[Lancecastor]

There's an enormous feeling of intimacy for me in being given the trust that results in a woman asking to be blindfolded and tied, her ass high in the air, responding to and participating in the deepening mindfuck until she's begging me while trembling, ready to cum...without having been touched.

It puts me in a mindset quite different from say waking in the morning and being sucked, then ridden fast and hard to greet the day...regular sex is more about the orgasm for me, whereas a scene binds me to her in a completely different way.

The short way to say it is that for me, topping is perhaps more finely tuned to her and vanilla is more about me/us.

As a result, they are two completely different personal experiences for me.

Lance

 

[Shadowsdream]

I would add My 2 cents but there is nothing left to say!

For me, the headspace is more important than the actual sex--or even the "turn on"--component of Dominance. Don't get me wrong--a nice hot pink ass is a gorgeous sight, and there are lots of other highly erotic sights, sounds, etc. attached to being the Top partner.

But, more importantly, there's tremendous confidence and entitlement and intense awareness of the dichotomy between one's enormous responsibility to the bottom partner and one's total license to do with them as one desires. I feel completely free to do as I like, I feel welcomed to give someone an experience unlike any they've had before, or to build on what we've done, or to push the envelope of their sexuality.

It's funny, actually, because while I like how a bottom looks in leather and chains, that's not the important part for me. And while I love to swing a flogger or a crop, that's not the key component either--although when I'm on bottom, that stuff matters to me. When I'm on Top, though, it's all about the mind, the voice, and eye contact. It's knowing that I'm fully in that moment, and that s/he can challenge me all they like and struggle for a little preservation of self-control--but, in the end, they're mine not because I've got them tied up or because I could hurt them, but because I made them want it. In fact, I've made them *ask* for the very things that would signify coersion if done against their will; it's quite an experience to make them beg for me to take control utterly away from their reach. There's a mindfuck for you. Don't underestimate its seductiveness.

And perhaps this is just because I'm female (to continue the use of an old stereotype about men sleeping after sex), but I find it very energizing. I'm not tired afterwards, I'm jazzed. So, the aftercare isn't the burden it might seem like to some. Besides the obvious fact that it's the price you pay to play with your pet, it's also a chance to drift on the emotional and endorphin rush of the scene, and to give your sub a chance to return to their normal headspace rather than collapsing into it when their adrenaline runs out.

JMO, as always.

RS

 

[Sir James A]

Taking a submissive to subspace is so much more than sexual. In can be downright spiritual. I suppose, since loving her has a lot do to with our relationship, I want to give her back everything she gives me, and then some. I know she likes to be spanked and flogged and used for my pleasure. I also know she needs to be held and caressed when she has been through so much emotionally from the flogging. This is true for me too. It can be hard work to get her to that state of detatchment, emotionally and physically.
Yes, it is very much sexual. But, it is very much emotional as well. When the two are incorporated, it is simply fucking amazing. Getting her to subspace and bringing her down from it is beyond despcription. As I say, it is downright spiritual.

 

[MissTaken]

Sir James! Welcome to the forum!

And may I add that your submissive is one lucky lady?




Now, another question or three for the Dominants...

Are you a Dominant who enjoys your subs tears as part of your play?

Or, should your sub beginning weeping in frustration or pain, do you feel a need to comfort and perhaps feel a bit guilty?

How do tears play into your getting what you need from a scene?

I know there are different perspectives on this issue. Please, feel free to speak candidly.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Are you a Dominant who enjoys your subs tears as part of your play?

My subs do not cry, nor do I try to evoke tears/

Or, should your sub beginning weeping in frustration or pain, do you feel a need to comfort and perhaps feel a bit guilty?

It would depend on the sub, and the situation.

How do tears play into your getting what you need from a scene?


they don't at all, especially since I am not scene oriented.

 

[Sir James A]

Thank you for the welcome, MissTaken...

I have never been into the humiliation thing. I never found it to serve MY purpose. However, some submissives crave it, as well as Dominants. I see it's attraction, but it's not for me, personally.

If, in particular when pushing limits, my submissive fails to reach that goal I set, I deal with it with love and patience. Odds are she will get to that limit eventually and surpass it. A Dominant who has no patience in these matters isn't a true loving Dominant, but basically a bully. UNLESS, the two people involved have worked all this out beforehand.

Hope this helped.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Thank you for the welcome, MissTaken...

I have never been into the humiliation thing. I never found it to serve MY purpose. However, some submissives crave it, as well as Dominants. I see it's attraction, but it's not for me, personally.

If, in particular when pushing limits, my submissive fails to reach that goal I set, I deal with it with love and patience. Odds are she will get to that limit eventually and surpass it. A Dominant who has no patience in these matters isn't a true loving Dominant, but basically a bully. UNLESS, the two people involved have worked all this out beforehand.

Hope this helped.

Welcome Sir James A

 

[Sir James A]

Welcome Sir James A

Thank you, Ebonyfire. I must say, I like your avatar. The closer I get to 100 posts, the more I seem to notice everyone's.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Thank you, Ebonyfire. I must say, I like your avatar. The closer I get to 100 posts, the more I seem to notice everyone's.

Thank you. There is nothing like your first avatar. I have changed mine several times in the past, but now I just keep this one.

 

[Goddess Helena]

Beautifully put, RisiaSkye.


Welcome to lit, Sir James A.
I look forward to more of your posts.

Regarding tears:
Rarely has a boy shed tears. When it has happened, it was because of his need and longing and the high emotional state he was in do to My use of him. I do not feel guilty, but I do keep it in mind for next time. In a scene, should tears appear, I will pause and reassure My pet, checking to see how he is and if he is able to continue. I have no desire to push a pet too far.


Helena

 

[pierced_boy]

Great thread Miss T

Thanks to all

I understand my submissive times and pleasures but struggle to understand and fully enjoy my moments of Domination. Some of what has been said here shines some light into it for me.

As Risia says it is very much a mind fuck, something I am into and wish I could write well about

Harry

 

[Shadowsdream]

...I took this little piece from My old web site....
When My slave presents his wrists to Me for binding him to My will I immediately begin to enter a new world. The world of power and control. I feel an internal growth that radiates throughout My being and fills Me with the heat of passion. Each increase in bondage that My locks assure gives My heart a rush of adrenaline.
Having total control of My slave_and his responses excites Me beyond reason. My pleasure is emotional as well as physical. The stimulation of My intellect while taking him wherever I choose brings Me to the Domme Space I love.
I feel the intensity of the honor he gives Me by placing his trust and devotion into My hands. Knowing he feels safe in My control while realizing I may take him places he prefers not to go. This trust and devotion feeds My lust for him.
Knowing that it is his need to submit to Me gives My power over him an increased meaning. For only through his gift do I receive. Knowing he submits for My pleasure_is an erotica of it's own kind. O/our mutual joy in D/s makes Domme Space and sub space the ultimate mutual gift we share.
Using My body to Dominate gives a different kind of pleasure than when I use My mind.. The sensations I experience are complexly mixed in both. One soon over rides the other. Ecstasy and agony!!!

 

[AnelizeDarkEyes]

Thank you everyone for your posts. Welcome to Sir James A as well.

How interesting that i found this thread this morning, because this weekend, a day after a particularly intense scene, He and i were discussing this very topic. I know where i go in subspace and how i fly during and after the scene. I was curious where He goes, and what happends to Him.

It was an amazing conversation. I feel privileged that He shared those thoughts with me, and again thank you all for sharing yours.

 

[WriterDom]

Are you a Dominant who enjoys your subs tears as part of your play?

Or, should your sub beginning weeping in frustration or pain, do you feel a need to comfort and perhaps feel a bit guilty?

A few tears don't bother me as long as I know she is still "with me." But I have pushed someone to the point where she was crying and not coherent enough to use her safeword. Which wouldn't had happened if I had been communicating better during the scene. It took about 15 minutes of aftercare to calm her down.

 

[~ Emmeline ~]

...I took this little piece from My old web site....
When My slave presents his wrists to Me for binding him to My will I immediately begin to enter a new world. The world of power and control. I feel an internal growth that radiates throughout My being and fills Me with the heat of passion. Each increase in bondage that My locks assure gives My heart a rush of adrenaline.
Having total control of My slave_and his responses excites Me beyond reason. My pleasure is emotional as well as physical. The stimulation of My intellect while taking him wherever I choose brings Me to the Domme Space I love.
I feel the intensity of the honor he gives Me by placing his trust and devotion into My hands. Knowing he feels safe in My control while realizing I may take him places he prefers not to go. This trust and devotion feeds My lust for him.
Knowing that it is his need to submit to Me gives My power over him an increased meaning. For only through his gift do I receive. Knowing he submits for My pleasure_is an erotica of it's own kind. O/our mutual joy in D/s makes Domme Space and sub space the ultimate mutual gift we share.
Using My body to Dominate gives a different kind of pleasure than when I use My mind.. The sensations I experience are complexly mixed in both. One soon over rides the other. Ecstasy and agony!!!

Beautifully put, Shadowsdream. Thank you for sharing this with us, you have helped me to understand.