I have a friend that I dont know how to help...

[LordMagicMan]

Shes been married for a while and shes been exploring parts of her self. Her husband has become opposed to this and unneedingly over protective. Hes making her feel like a prisoner in her home and life. She doesnt want to divorce him, but she doesnt know what else to do. He told her to give up her friends and everything, if they wanted to stay together.

Would you sacrifice so much for one person? Shes not a submissive person either, she is and always has been so independent.

I just dont know what to say to her anymore... *sigh*

 

[RosevilleCAguy]

Its very sad when those close to you are threatened by your personal growth.

Unfortunately, this is a battle she will have to fight on her own. Just support her in whatever way she needs.

 

[Bob_Bytchin]

Definitely keep in the background. Don't be a catalyst for a volatile situation, just be her support.

 

[LordMagicMan]

Thanks guys I think you are right.

I'm always asking open ended questions, getting her to admit how its making her feeling, trying to get her to express herself and not be lead by the questions...

 

[RosevilleCAguy]

Thanks guys I think you are right.

I'm always asking open ended questions, getting her to admit how its making her feeling, trying to get her to express herself and not be lead by the questions...

It sounds like you are a good friend to her. Listening is the most difficult thing of all to do in these situations even though it is most often what is required.

Damn, that was an unelegant sentence.

 

[MysticMayham]

For what its worth here is my opinion ... keep your ears open and your mouth shut ... they both need counceling .. but what it all boils down to is they need to love each other enuf to find a middle ground .. no one looses and no one wins .. that is how marriage is supposed to work

 

[Lady X]

Shes been married for a while and shes been exploring parts of her self. Her husband has become opposed to this and unneedingly over protective. Hes making her feel like a prisoner in her home and life. She doesnt want to divorce him, but she doesnt know what else to do. He told her to give up her friends and everything, if they wanted to stay together.
Would you sacrifice so much for one person? Shes not a submissive person either, she is and always has been so independent.
I just dont know what to say to her anymore... *sigh*

Why did her husband become opposed to her inner growth in the first place? Maybe he is insecure. It is something they need to sort out for their own sakes. One person does not have the right to stop anothers growth. It's sad when this happens but she will know when or if the time comes to move on, on her own.
I think you are doing everything you can for her at the moment. Keep being a friend.

 

[Guest]

When in doubt....do nothing.

Your friend is the one who has to do something...that is if she honestly wants to. Like everyone said before...just sit back and listen. If she wants to make a change she will make it. But sadly enough, most people in that kind of situation...just take it.

 

[Debbie]

When in doubt....do nothing.

Your friend is the one who has to do something...that is if she honestly wants to. Like everyone said before...just sit back and listen. If she wants to make a change she will make it. But sadly enough, most people in that kind of situation...just take it.

Wise advice. I agree.

In this situation a friend who can listen to her is what is needed most. The choice to go or stay is hers.
Speaking from experience? My ex tried to control and isolate me completely from my friends. I sneaked around to see them, they were always there for me. I knew how they felt about the horrible things he was doing but they also knew I had to make my own mind up to go or stay.

You are being a good friend if you listen. The rest is up to her.

Good luck to you and your friend.