I don't understand any of this

[Mr Blonde]

Why does it take a personal attack to bring out all the good responses? The people who have treated Sharlott's questions seriously have had some good things to say....but how come some people don't get this involved in answering the normal discussion threads? Not that I am complaining, reading the sincere discussion in this thread is fine all by itself, but some of you should speak up more in the normal threads. You would make a good contribution.

 

[Etoile]

Why does it take a personal attack to bring out all the good responses? The people who have treated Sharlott's questions seriously have had some good things to say....

Sadly, they've gotten nothing but more personal attacks and abuse in return.

 

[His Flower]

Sadly, they've gotten nothing but more personal attacks and abuse in return.

HEY, but isn't that part of the fun?

Okay fine, I'm just being mean...

His Flower

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Sadly, they've gotten nothing but more personal attacks and abuse in return.

Sorry E, but when someone "suggests" i should be shot, let's just say i don't come back with wine and roses.

 

[FungiUg]

Sorry E, but when someone "suggests" i should be shot, let's just say i don't come back with wine and roses.

Er, if you read that in context, I do believe that was a sarcastic response.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Er, if you read that in context, I do believe that was a sarcastic response.

As was mine ... http://www.1st-vets.org/forum/images/smiles/icon_twisted.gif

 

[Eating_Scarlett]

See, the thing is - when a person is really truly here to learn, they aren't judgemental. IF YOU were here truly to learn - starting this thread could've been a good learning experience - asking questions. DON'T go and say that some of us here haven't tried. Because if I've gone this far in reading, I think I saw a LOT of people giving you their opinions and TRYING to educate you. You're the one just being judgemental.

And personally, I think EB here have a point, she's known on this board to be blunt, direct and informative. ARE you suprise, we actually LIKE her here? OMG....

His Flower

How can you say that? I *was* here to learn. Just because I gave my opinion and didn't just shut up and listen like every person who came before me, doesn't mean I'm not learning anything.

Judgement happens. Everyone here has judged me, just like I've judged some of you. Why is it ok for someone *I* haven't even posted to directly to accuse me of having a boring sex life when they don't even know what I DO in bed? Yet when I state my opinion of them, suddenly I'm a troll.

You guys are tired. You band together, protect 'your own', are way too sensitive and totally hypocritical.

 

[Eating_Scarlett]

Er, if you read that in context, I do believe that was a sarcastic response.

I think you may have been the only person to realise that.

 

[FungiUg]

How can you say that? I *was* here to learn. Just because I gave my opinion and didn't just shut up and listen like every person who came before me, doesn't mean I'm not learning anything.

No. If you were here to learn, you would suspend judgement, not apply it first. A judgement out of ignorance is predjudice, not learning.

Judgement happens. Everyone here has judged me, just like I've judged some of you. Why is it ok for someone *I* haven't even posted to directly to accuse me of having a boring sex life when they don't even know what I DO in bed? Yet when I state my opinion of them, suddenly I'm a troll.

Actually, it was me who accused you of having a boring sex life. And that was because you kept saying that sex is about loving and sharing, and that anything fun like sex toys or bondage just showed you didn't love your partner.

Personally, a sex life without experimentation, a good sense of fun, loads of passion, plenty of sex toys, erotica, bondage, and so on... would be boring. But if it works for you, cool. I'll accept you don't need those things if you accept I like 'em. How's that?

You guys are tired. You band together, protect 'your own', are way too sensitive and totally hypocritical.

*Yawn* I'm so tired!

Yeah, we have a sense of community. We do protect our own. Don't you wish your friends would do that for you?

 

[Eating_Scarlett]

No. If you were here to learn, you would suspend judgement, not apply it first. A judgement out of ignorance is predjudice, not learning.



Actually, it was me who accused you of having a boring sex life. And that was because you kept saying that sex is about loving and sharing, and that anything fun like sex toys or bondage just showed you didn't love your partner.

Personally, a sex life without experimentation, a good sense of fun, loads of passion, plenty of sex toys, erotica, bondage, and so on... would be boring. But if it works for you, cool. I'll accept you don't need those things if you accept I like 'em. How's that?



*Yawn* I'm so tired!

Yeah, we have a sense of community. We do protect our own. Don't you wish your friends would do that for you?

The difference is, that while your "friends" are here to defend you [on an internet porn site], mine mostly live in RL.

My "judgement" wasn't based on total ignorance. Whether you like it or not, subjective perception is based on what you glean of a person or subject with the amount of information available to you.

Just like in real life, when you meet a person, you can [and most likely WILL] have formed an opinion of them within the first five minutes of meeting them, but it doesn't necessarily mean that your opinion can't be changed once you get to know them further.

What you mistook as judgment on my part was me simply stating a solid opinion from what I have gathered to date.

 

[FungiUg]

The difference is, that while your "friends" are here to defend you [on an internet porn site], mine mostly live in RL.

Oooh, nasty! *chuckle* I'm sure my real life friends would be horrified to hear that they don't exist.

I didn't imply that you had no friends. I simply pointed out that of course we will defend each other (and fight and squabble with each other too), because we often are friends. That's a good thing, not something you can justify criticising.

My "judgement" wasn't based on total ignorance. Whether you like it or not, subjective perception is based on what you glean of a person or subject with the amount of information available to you.

Well, I could almost believe that, except for the fact that you constantly assume everyone here is into things like whipping, bondage, knife play and the like. Very not true, and had you actually made an attempt to read and learn, you would know so. Since you haven't, I can only assume you are ignorant. And despite our urging you to go read and lean, you have no intention of doing so.

Just like in real life, when you meet a person, you can [and most likely WILL] have formed an opinion of them within the first five minutes of meeting them, but it doesn't necessarily mean that your opinion can't be changed once you get to know them further.

True. No argument there.

What you mistook as judgment on my part was me simply stating a solid opinion from what I have gathered to date.

Yes, except (as I said earlier), you have shown no evidence of gathering anything other than your preconceptions.

Let's take some for instances.

Have you realised there is a difference between D/s, S&M, bondage play, leather fetishes? Do you know what they are?

Do you have any idea why I might be interesting in being dominant, but have no interest in whipping anyone, or making anyone bleed?

Are you willing to admit that many people love spicing up their sex lives? This is why we have a huge industry in lingerie, sex toys and romantic music. (How many babies have been conceived to Barry White, I wonder...)

Are you even willing to admit that whether you approve of them or not, homosexuals, open relationships, swingers and so on exist? And are valid? And have existed for so long as the human race has existed? And that because, as a community, we do our best to encourage open-mindedness and sexual diversity, we accept and cherish those things?

Show us some evidence of the "learning" you have been doing... and then perhaps we will show you the courtesy of accepting that you are hear to learn, not just to shit-stir and abuse.

 

[da grunt]

posted by a glutton for punishment, Eating_Scarlett
... You band together, protect 'your own' ...

Wait, I'm confused, I thought you said everybody contradicted each other?

Seems to me, you don't wanna talk about it,
Seems to me, you just wanna judge about it,
Seems to me, you outta set yourself free

You talk about hypocrisy? You can't understand normal thinking!

 

[Ebonyfire]

Sorry E, but when someone "suggests" i should be shot, let's just say i don't come back with wine and roses.

Yes but we need to consider the source. I smell a coward. Eating_scarlett needs to get a clue. I see her as a person who can only shoot off her keyboard. No substance. Shallow thinking all the way.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Sensitive?

I think not. Just bored by your know nothing attitude. You have nothing to offer us. Not one thing you have said has value. YOu are just full of negative stereotypes.

Do I seem harsh? GOOD. That is my intention.

I will say one more thing to you scarlett.

I pity you.

Now run along and play.

 

[FungiUg]

Re: Sensitive?

Now run along and play.

Awww, but we was having fun playing with her, Mama Eb! Does she really have to go? We was gonna play dress-ups next!

Shows off the leather bondage gear...

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Re: Sensitive?

Awww, but we was having fun playing with her, Mama Eb! Does she really have to go? We was gonna play dress-ups next!

Shows off the leather bondage gear...

Her posts are stupid. The things she is saying is so off the wall, I am losing My patience.

That little bit about her friends being RL is just too funny for words. She just does not have a clue, and wants to stay that way.

It shows a basic lack of understanding that is pathetic.

 

[Eating_Scarlett]

Re: Sensitive?

Do I seem harsh? GOOD. That is my intention.

I will say one more thing to you scarlett.

I pity you.

Now run along and play.

Do you think I give a flying fuck what your intention is, you condescending little shit? No? BING BING BING!!! Next question, moving right along...!!

 

[MissTaken]

The difference is, that while your "friends" are here to defend you [on an internet porn site], mine mostly live in RL.

My "judgement" wasn't based on total ignorance. Whether you like it or not, subjective perception is based on what you glean of a person or subject with the amount of information available to you.

Hi E_S,

There is a lot of info available to you here and at other sites.

Again, the library is a cool place to start.

castlerealm.com is a good site as is MistressSteel's Chamber.

We have had many before you, who come in under the pretense of learning and then taking what we share of our most intimate selves and judging, flaming and condemning us for what we do.
So, when the same pattern of behavior appears again, wiht a different nickname, many of us again, took time to try to help and educate and when it appears that that person is not reading or trying to learn, but is looking for more opportunities to stir things up, we react.

Call it being sensitive, okay. *shrugs* But, it isn't like we are talking about what our favorite television shows are or politics. We are talking about things that are extremely person and highly emotional charged. No one wants to hear, "You dont' know shit about sex and love. You have it all fucked up." Vanilla or BDSM.

To be frank, your posting history at lit, at this and other forums has not shown a pattern of tolerance for others, in general. So, the posters here are also making judgements based on the info that is available to them.

Now, if you have legitimate questions and are willing to discuss issues, we love to do that. But if you make negative comments, show little respect and ignore those posters who have spent a lot of time trying to answer questions, you will meet with more resistance.

And if you are seriously interested in discussing BDSM, feel free to pm me, if that is more comfortable for you.

 

[Ebonyfire]

No one wants to hear, "You dont' know shit about sex and love. You have it all fucked up." Vanilla or BDSM.

To be frank, your posting history at lit, at this and other forums has not shown a pattern of tolerance for others, in general. So, the posters here are also making judgements based on the info that is available to them.
[/B]

These two points says it all.
You have no credibility E_S.

 

[Eating_Scarlett]

Originally posted by FungiUg
Have you realised there is a difference between D/s, S&M, bondage play, leather fetishes? Do you know what they are?

From what I've gathered, D/S covers the domination/submission section, S&M covers the sadism and the masochism, bondage play has to do with being tied up, & leather fetishes appears pretty obvious.

Do you have any idea why I might be interesting in being dominant, but have no interest in whipping anyone, or making anyone bleed?

Yes.

Are you willing to admit that many people love spicing up their sex lives? This is why we have a huge industry in lingerie, sex toys and romantic music. (How many babies have been conceived to Barry White, I wonder...)

Spicing up your sex life and abusing your partner are two different things. For example, using music, or vibrators in a relationship is different to beating up, bruising or humiliating your partner who you claim to love.

Are you even willing to admit that whether you approve of them or not, homosexuals, open relationships, swingers and so on exist? And are valid? And have existed for so long as the human race has existed? And that because, as a community, we do our best to encourage open-mindedness and sexual diversity, we accept and cherish those things?

Of course they bloody exist, what, you think I'm living in a fantasy world where incest, rape, homosexuality, bestiality, open relationships and swingers don't exist??? It's fine to encourage open-mindedness, but where do you draw the line? If it's ok to tie up your loved one and beat them in the name of excitement, is it then too ok to have sex with your married neighbour?

Show us some evidence of the "learning" you have been doing... and then perhaps we will show you the courtesy of accepting that you are hear to learn, not just to shit-stir and abuse.

Despite the fact that I am taking it all in, that doesn't necessarily mean I have to convert all of a sudden into a person enlightened in the ways of BDSM and look upon the lifestyle with new-found splendour.

 

[Quint]

This is in reference to the paraphrased "sex should be about emotional connection."

<edit>

But that isn't all. Several minutes passed where I was merely breathing hard, coming down, and he was whispering encouragement to me. When my mind came back, I started crying. I cried because I have found a wonderful man. He is perceptive enough to understand what I need from sex, the activities that excite me and make me wet and make me come. He is creative enough to come up with even more fun activities and to constantly challenge me. And he is loving enough to join me in this activities. In this daily journey of self-exploration and growth. We know what the other needs, and we want nothing more than to help them achieve it. And that is the greatest emotional connection I think any couple can boast of, in this and any other world.

 

[FungiUg]

Spicing up your sex life and abusing your partner are two different things. For example, using music, or vibrators in a relationship is different to beating up, bruising or humiliating your partner who you claim to love.

So that's the bit you "don't get"? That some people enjoy and thrill at being beaten? Humiliated?

Well, I don't share the urge to be bruised or humiliated either. But... I don't judge those who do. And as I said earlier in another post, being spanked is one of the most common sexual fantasies there is. And light bondage is also very common.

[/B][/QUOTE]It's fine to encourage open-mindedness, but where do you draw the line? If it's ok to tie up your loved one and beat them in the name of excitement, is it then too ok to have sex with your married neighbour?

Your morality may be different from mine. I can assure you that there are many people in BDSM who would think that cheating on your partner or someone else's partner is NOT acceptable. We all draw different lines, based on our own morality.

Personally, I think "safe, sane and consensual" is a good guideline.

Despite the fact that I am taking it all in, that doesn't necessarily mean I have to convert all of a sudden into a person enlightened in the ways of BDSM and look upon the lifestyle with new-found splendour.

No, but if you got down off your moral high horse and showed some evidence that you weren't here just to say "you're all a bunch of sickos", then you might lose my vote for "bigot of the month."

An informed judgement might be "interesting, but not for me." I can assure you that I've made several of those judgements myself! (For example, a monogamous marriage would fall into that category for me.) Just because your moral sense doesn't agree with something doesn't mean it's not right for someone else. (And yes, I have moral issues with "monogamy".)

 

[Eating_Scarlett]

But that isn't all. Several minutes passed where I was merely breathing hard, coming down, and he was whispering encouragement to me. When my mind came back, I started crying. I cried because I have found a wonderful man. He is perceptive enough to understand what I need from sex, the activities that excite me and make me wet and make me come. He is creative enough to come up with even more fun activities and to constantly challenge me. And he is loving enough to join me in this activities. In this daily journey of self-exploration and growth. We know what the other needs, and we want nothing more than to help them achieve it. And that is the greatest emotional connection I think any couple can boast of, in this and any other world.

Your story makes for good reading. Ever considered taking up a career as a Writer?

 

[le_kinklet]

Re: Re: Re: I don't understand any of this

I dont really think I need add anything to that.

here here Imp and ns, couldn't agree with you both more,, oh and i take pride in being called perverted,, tells me i do my job well, oops, solly for the delayed reaction just have not been well the last few days
~*HuGs*~

 

[le_kinklet]

Lobs gummi bear projectiles at Le_Kinklet

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