How do you go about finding someone to be a Dom? My wife could never take me seriously in that role - to much history. But I am open to providing her that fantasy.... Where to start?
Join http://fetlife.com and look for groups in your area. Start making contact. Go to munches, meet folk.
If you can travel down to Chicago, the Pleasure Chest has a lot of really interesting seminars-- one of which is something like "Recycled sex" and it talks about rebuilding a sexual dynamic in an already established relationship. The Pleasure chest has a calender on the website.