How young is too young --- between adults

[angela146]

The other day, I flirted with a good friend "Sam" who is twenty-two years older than I am. I'm thirty, Sam's fifty-two.

It went far enough that he got nervous and begged off, saying that his daughter is a year older than I am.

I was tickled by the fact that, at age thirty, I'm "too young" for a guy who doesn't seem all that old to me.

My father is in his mid sixties. Hence, Sam doesn't fall into my "father figure" archetype. I guess he's more like and "uncle figure".

For those of you who are a little older than I am, where do you draw the line?

How young is "too young"? Does it depend on how old your children are? Is it different for men than for women?

At what age did you realize that there are adults out there who are too young for you to lust after?

 

[Weepingguitar]

I'm younger as well, but I'm glad you asked this. I used to think that 10 years was my cut off, but I found myself talking to guys who were more that 20 years older than I. On the other hand, I sometimes feel wierd talking to people who are even 5 years younger than me. My brain always does the connection of "where was this person when I was such-and-such an age?"

 

[zeb1094]

Well I'm an old guy! Have a daughter seven years older than you Angela, and I would still flirt with you, 'cuz you aren't my daughter!

Wait, you're not are you? Is Angela your real name? If it is we're cool.

Just thought a Dirty Old Man should check in.

Now really, 30 is not too young, but 18 - 19 - 20 might be. It would depend on the young lady and how she handles herself. My grandson is only 10, but acts more like a 30 year old which is his mothers age who acts like a 10 year old. Go figure!

 

[matriarch]

Is there a category for 'dirty old woman'?? If so, I'm heading it.

I am 25 years older than the love of my life, and she is the same age as my eldest son, I'm the same age as her mother.

It's not a set of figures on which I tend to dwell too much, far too many freudian overtones.

The years, the numbers the figures are unimportant. We are two adults, who are very happy with the way things are. If others have a problem with our ages, that's their problem, not ours.

We're happy, and to me that's all that matters.

 

[York]

I think it totally depends on the emotional and mental ages of the two of you. I know people who were forty when they were twenty and I know people in their forties who have the same (fun) outlook on life as when they were in their twenties. (That's not to say they haven't grown up and matured, but they aren't old per se.)

I have a friend who is sixteen years younger than me, but when we chat we make each other smile and laugh until our (face ) cheeks ache. If we weren't both married, we would doubtlessly be having a tremendous fling now.

By the same token, I have fancied a woman almost ten years older than me for years, and she loves my company because we make each other smile and just have that connection.

Man, if a woman twenty years my junior came on to me, I wasn't married and she wasn't immature in attitude I'd be chuffed as mintballs and definitely go for it!

 

[matriarch]

I think it totally depends on the emotional and mental ages of the two of you. I know people who were forty when they were twenty and I know people in their forties who have the same (fun) outlook on life as when they were in their twenties. (That's not to say they haven't grown up and matured, but they aren't old per se.)

I have a friend who is sixteen years younger than me, but when we chat we make each other smile and laugh until our (face ) cheeks ache. If we weren't both married, we would doubtlessly be having a tremendous fling now.

By the same token, I have fancied a woman almost ten years older than me for years, and she loves my company because we make each other smile and just have that connection.

Man, if a woman twenty years my junior came on to me, I wasn't married and she wasn't immature in attitude I'd be chuffed as mintballs and definitely go for it!

Oh, by the way - hi everyone. It's my first post after lurking a few days.

Exactly, all depends on the mental and emotional maturity (as opposed to age) of the people involved.

Welcome aboard Dibosco, from another Brit, currently residing in Arizona.

 

[Harry Leg]

I was told that the formula was to divide my age in half and add 7
Anyone younger than that was too young for me.
I never really believed it though. Sometimes you just connect in a way thats beyond age or time. How can you deny what you feel because of a number?

 

[CrimsonMaiden]

There are a couple of men in my life that are older that I'd be with in a minute if I wasn't married. There are a couple from here that fall into that category as well.

For me, it all depends on the person.

 

[Belegon]

definitely something I would determine on a person to person basis...

 

[Coming Together]

definitely something I would determine on a person to person basis...

40's too young

 

[Guest]

When I was 53 or so I met a man in his mid-70s who was uniquely intelligent and really the most charming man I'd ever met (still is). I was very sorry to find out he was 'attached'.

I do think now there is a 'too young' age for men (for me) but who really knows. I'm certain there is not a 'too old' age if the mind is vibrant and matches mine in some fundamental ways.

Perdita

 

[Belegon]

40's too young

well, I'm 40 and 1/12 now so "pffffffttt!"

 

[Coming Together]

well, I'm 40 and 1/12 now so "pffffffttt!"

Oh. Okay, then.

 

[matriarch]

Age is irrelevant. Its simply a measure of how many times the earth has orbited the sun.

Maturity is something completely different, and much more important.

 

[Belegon]

Age is irrelevant. Its simply a measure of how many times the earth has orbited the sun.

Maturity is something completely different, and much more important.

so that makes you what, 12?

oh wait...you're just the height of a 12 year old...ok, got it...







I lurves ya Queenie...

 

[matriarch]

so that makes you what, 12?

oh wait...you're just the height of a 12 year old...ok, got it...







I lurves ya Queenie...

You, young man........are skating on very very thin ice. Careful the next sharp comment doesn't cut right through.

 

[oggbashan]

Depends what for...

I find a large gap between people of my age who were born during or just before the war and those born a few years later whose first memories are of the 1950s.

Sudden death of a relative or friend through enemy action? Actual risk to yourself at any time? Rationing? Unexploded bombs? Bombsites? Inability to buy products even if you have ample money?

If those mean nothing then our life experience is very different even if there is just a few years difference in age.

Apart from that, I find that I can understand and interact with people of any age from 5 to 105.

When it comes to romance? I can see the attraction of a 21 year old woman but would never consider her as a potential partner. Even a 50 year old seems too young. 55 upwards? Possibly nicely mature but...

Attitude and personality are far more important than physical age or maturity. The person is far more important to me than any other factor.

Friendship doesn't care about age differences. Partnerships should at least consider the downside of significant age gaps - one might die earlier or become frail while the other is still in their prime. Gaps are not insuperable but need commitment and effort to overcome the inconveniences.

Og

 

[LLs Man]

I'm 19 years older than LL (47 & 28), her mother's only 6 years older than me, but we don't feel there's a big difference (she even likes the same music as me, because she grew up listening to her parents play it). A girl I work with is 23 & in a relationship with a guy 33 years older, & to be honest she's the more mature of the two. So, like others have said, it's something that has to be taken on an individual basis, you can't make hard & fast rules about it.

 

[Liar]

I think I mentioned this in another thread, but the most mature person I know is much younger than me. She was the most mature person I knew, back when she was by legal standards a child too.


Ok, so the question was:

At what age did you realize that there are adults out there who are too young for you to lust after?

Answer: Not there yet.

 

[NoJo]

The other day, I flirted with a good friend "Sam" who is twenty-two years older than I am. I'm thirty, Sam's fifty-two.

It went far enough that he got nervous and begged off, saying that his daughter is a year older than I am.

I was tickled by the fact that, at age thirty, I'm "too young" for a guy who doesn't seem all that old to me.

My father is in his mid sixties. Hence, Sam doesn't fall into my "father figure" archetype. I guess he's more like and "uncle figure".

For those of you who are a little older than I am, where do you draw the line?

How young is "too young"? Does it depend on how old your children are? Is it different for men than for women?

At what age did you realize that there are adults out there who are too young for you to lust after?

I have to stop myself lusting after my kid's friends. I'll quite happily lust after anyone over 19. I'm 47.

 

[Guest]

I have to stop myself lusting after my kid's friends.

Having two grown sons I did that for years. Could still, as they're now 31 and 28. Yum.

Perdita

 

[York]

Having two grown sons I did that for years. Could still, as they're now 31 and 28. Yum.

Perdita

When I was around 18 I fancied the arse off one of my best friend's mum. Funny to think now that she might've secretly fancied me too.

"In my dreams" I think the phrase is!

Thanks for the welcome, Matriach - what took you to the States? My brother lives there now. Near to d.c.

 

[rgraham666]

I used to live in an apartment between two high schools.

On sunny days I would sit outside.

When I moved in I was in mid-twenties and sat outside to watch the traffic.

Ten years later, I sat outside to read. When I did notice the traffic my thought was 'Not interested in children'.

I doubt I would find a woman under thirty interesting.

Although I was carrying on a rather hot cyber relationship with a 22 year old for a while.

Eh. So I'm a hypocrite. Comes with being human.

 

[NoJo]

When I was around 18 I fancied the arse off one of my best friend's mum. Funny to think now that she might've secretly fancied me too.

"In my dreams" I think the phrase is!

Thanks for the welcome, Matriach - what took you to the States? My brother lives there now. Near to d.c.

In case she doesnt see your post, I'll tell you it's not a what it's a who.

And, Welcome to the AH, DiBosco


Edit: I assumed becuase of your virgin status you're new here. But apparently not.

 

[York]

In case she doesnt see your post, I'll tell you it's not a what it's a who.

And, Welcome to the AH, DiBosco


Edit: I assumed becuase of your virgin status you're new here. But apparently not.

Ahhh, so same reason my brother moved to the States.

I thought I could just about get away with hanging out here as I'm having my first submission proof read/edited at the moment!

As far as my virgin status is concerned, I registered ages ago, posted once and, I dunno, just forgot about it and went back to reading stories and chatting in the chat rooms.

After having browsed around the forums a bit in the last few days, AH seems to have fewer wind up merchants and better discussions...